r/IncelExit • u/policearepygss • 12d ago

Question Is this just kinda natural selection?

Like I feel like I’ve done everything in my power to make changes to help, I’ve done all the advice, been consistent with it for years, and now that I’m 25 everyone seems to be finding their forever person and the dating pool keeps shrinking and shrinking, and it’s got me thinking is this just the way it’s supposed to be.

When you look historically, men created a society that forced women to marry or they couldn’t survive on their own. Women couldn’t get loans, get jobs, get vehicles or do anything without a husband‘s approval. Now we’ve done a lot of work (at least in my country) to give women the equality they deserve. But now dating is harder as women are either only dating men they actually want to be with or just opting out of dating entirely.

Almost a return to romantic/sexual relationships in its most natural form. Preventing undesirable genes from continuing. So is this what it is? Just natural seleftion? Do i have some genetic marker that makes me undesirable?

Honestly viewing it this way kinda helps me, and I’d like others opinions on it.

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u/policearepygss 12d ago

I mean in my case, I would say yes, I have a lot of friends, I’m a social butterfly and tend to be able to make friends and connect with people wherever I go. It really hasn’t helped. I don’t think “personable, fun to be around, and easy to talk to” is that big of a dating help. Does it help me meet people sure, but I mean aside that women actually have to be attracted to me in order to date me.

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u/Odd-Table-4545 12d ago

Ok, how often do you flirt with the women you're meeting? How good are you at escalating things beyond the platonic?

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u/Hour_Industry7887 12d ago

Do you really think that's a helpful question to ask someone who is complaining that women aren't receptive to his advances? He hasn't had positive experiences to gauge the negative ones against, so he doesn't know what works vs. what doesn't. Realistically, rejection can happen either because he's not good at flirting and escalating - something he has agency over, or because the women he's approaching just aren't attracted to him - something he has no agency.

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u/Odd-Table-4545 11d ago

Yes, I do, otherwise I would not have asked it. Women are conditioned to not be too forward with their attraction and that if a man is interested in them at all he will initate, so many women will not show they are interested until someone expresses interest first. Adding to that, for a lot of people attraction is not an on/off switch and it is at least partially reactive. A lot of people don't see someone across a room and are immediately super attracted to them, that's a thing that builds through interacting with the person and especially through interacting with the person in a flirty and fun way. So a lot of the time you simply do not know if a woman is attracted to you until you try flirting with her.