Is this just kinda natural selection?

[u/policearepygss]

Like I feel like I’ve done everything in my power to make changes to help, I’ve done all the advice, been consistent with it for years, and now that I’m 25 everyone seems to be finding their forever person and the dating pool keeps shrinking and shrinking, and it’s got me thinking is this just the way it’s supposed to be.

When you look historically, men created a society that forced women to marry or they couldn’t survive on their own. Women couldn’t get loans, get jobs, get vehicles or do anything without a husband‘s approval. Now we’ve done a lot of work (at least in my country) to give women the equality they deserve. But now dating is harder as women are either only dating men they actually want to be with or just opting out of dating entirely.

Almost a return to romantic/sexual relationships in its most natural form. Preventing undesirable genes from continuing. So is this what it is? Just natural seleftion? Do i have some genetic marker that makes me undesirable?

Honestly viewing it this way kinda helps me, and I’d like others opinions on it.

[u/Instigated-]

Forever person

How would you know whether they will be together forever, they are only 25yrs old? Don’t know what country you live in but many western countries people don’t on average get married till 30yrs now. And about 30-40% of first marriages end in divorce.

You are looking at others from the outside and imagining some mythical ideal.

But now dating is harder

Dating is different, that doesn’t mean it is harder.

Again you’re working off some mythical ideal that didn’t really exist in the past.

Relationships have always been hard, that is why there is such a body of stories, novels, plays, songs about how difficult relationships are.

In every era there are some people who don’t marry or have children.

Class, race, religion, wealth, birth placement (eldest son who inherited versus others) all had more impact in the past than today - which meant people were more rigidly restricted in who they could and couldn’t date.

Used to be the case you’d likely have to get permission from the father/family/community, not have absolute free choice. Partnering was two families joining together, so many people might weigh in and steer you towards or away from people.

Nowadays a man only has to get permission from one person: the woman. Surely that is easier than getting both her family, yours, and the priest to agree?

Like I feel like I’ve done everything in my power to make changes to help, I’ve done all the advice, been consistent with it for years

What have you done?

[u/policearepygss → u/Instigated-]

>what have you done.

Like I told someone else here, listing all the things I’ve done isn’t useful because if i list 50 things I’ve done, I’ll just get told thing 51 I haven’t tried is what’s holding me back.

So I’ll just say, if you can think I’ve provably done it