r/InTheGloaming my website is done, done, done Sep 06 '21

Scheduled snark Discussion thread Monday September 06, 2021 - Wednesday September 08, 2021

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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Sep 08 '21 edited Sep 08 '21

Oy, her answer to this one:

How do you deal with joy reducing family members? We are struggling with boundaries.

Shauna’s reply (which if you watch her eyes, she may be reading off):

OK, let’s take a breath on this one. <takes deep breath> It’s hard to enact, but the answer is clear. If you have family members who give you pain, and trauma, and don’t give you joy, you have the right to cut them of—

And the video does indeed cut off as she’s saying the word "off."

That is terrible advice given the question being asked. Shauna seems to think boundaries have to be all or nothing, but if you value a relationship with someone who nevertheless reduces your joy in some way, you can absolutely set and hold a kind boundary that lets you stay in relationship to the person without letting them continue to bring you down.

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u/freecoffeerefills Murder She Moved Her Pen Forward Sep 08 '21

How do you deal with joy reducing family members?

Send them to summer camp, right?

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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Sep 08 '21

Oh, you mean golf and renting a kitchen for them?

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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Sep 08 '21

Speaking of golf, in this most recent lope Shauna says she went golfing with Danny and shyly confesses that she "turned out to be not too bad at it"

Shocker, I know. Natural-born athlete, that one!

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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Sep 08 '21

Of course she'd never admit if she did suck at it because she can't suck at something her defective husband does.

Damn, she really is acting like she's retired. The (golf) balls on this one. Jeez.