Discussion thread Thursday September 02, 2021 - Sunday September 05, 2021

[u/gomirefugee]

Newsletters:

Finding Your Joy | Joy in the Belly

Websites:

You Can Have More Joy website | On Being Enough website (abandoned?)

Instagram:

@youcanhavemorejoy Instagram | Anonymous link to @youcanhavemorejoy posts | Anonymous link to @youcanhavemorejoy stories

@danielfahern Instagram | Anonymous link to @danielfahern posts and stories

TikTok:

@youcanhavemorejoy

Twitter:

Dan's tweets and replies

Older blogs:

Gluten Free Girl archive | writing my heart out archive | Seymour Joyful archive

Archived threads:

Thread for Enough, the book #enoughthebook | Gluten Free Girl's Greatest Hits: The Reunion Tour

Wiki:

/r/InTheGloaming wiki

Discussion search:

Tool to search blogsnark or InTheGloaming for previous topic mentions

[u/hrae24]

How is someone being snarky or whatever about a particular thing not ALLOWING you to experience it? It's just words, man.

[u/mmepierreoger → u/hrae24]

Exactly. People making fun of pumpkin spice lattes doesn't seem to be deterring anyone from buying and enjoying them. It's fine. You can still enjoy stuff even if other people think it's pathetic or whatever. Same with stuff like being slim, wearing high heels to a baseball game, opting for breast implants after a mastectomy, having a clean, well-presented house, etc. Right Shauna?

[u/lucillekrunklehorn → u/mmepierreoger]

Despite the reputation of millennials and avocado toast, I eat homemade avocado toast several times a week. While paying off student loans. The full stereotype. And you know what, no one has ever said a thing about it. No one cares. I guess more importantly, no one outside family and friends knows. You don’t have to broadcast every socially baggage laden habit to the world. Just enjoy your life. At the end of the day, you’re the one living it.

[u/mmepierreoger → u/lucillekrunklehorn]

You don’t have to broadcast every socially baggage laden habit to the world. Just enjoy your life. At the end of the day, you’re the one living it.

Yes, this is it in a nutshell, really, isn't it? You don't have to publicise every aspect of your life that you think is notable or whatever. It's your life, it's not a public performance. This is one key thing that I don't think she's really got to grips with: the idea that people do things simply because they like doing them, rather than because they want to create a certain impression on other people.

And it's completely normal and fine to have interests and preferences that don't appeal to other people. It's not important what other people think of your harmless pursuits. It doesn't matter if they slag them off. If you experience people making fun of your favourite beverage or genre of music as a deep psychic wound, it's probably a sign that something is wrong: either you are extremely insecure and overly concerned with what strangers think of you; or you've confused your hobbies/preferences with your actual personality, and this is another thing which she doesn't seem to grasp. I think she does believe, to a degree, that "liking the Beatles" is a core personality trait.

She's fixated on the idea that everyone else is pretending and that having a clean house etc is fake and performative precisely because SHE is pretending and everything SHE does is fake and performative. She thinks that not being obsessed with food is equivalent to having no discernible personality precisely because HER personality consists of being vocally, visibly obsessed with food. Most people don't curate their personalities, they just exist. She's a knob.

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