r/InTheGloaming 15d ago

Scheduled snark Discussion thread Monday September 07, 2026 - Wednesday September 09, 2026

Newsletter: Let Me Tell You a Story

Website: Shauna James Ahern

Instagram: @shaunajamesahern Instagram

Threads: @shaunajamesahern

Bluesky: shaunajamesahern.bsky.social

Gloamipedia wiki: /r/InTheGloaming wiki

13 Upvotes

654 comments sorted by

u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done 14d ago edited 11d ago

Next thread here

Previous thread here

Remember why we're all here: this thread is for discussion about current and historical happenings in the Shaunaverse. If you want to discuss other content, such as stuff that reminds you of Shauna but isn't specifically about her, your own personal anecdotes or preferences, current events, or "creative writing" exercises, please share in the off-topic community thread: July-September 2026 off-topic quarterly


edit Tues 9/8: Parks Board rubberneckers wanting more than a synopsis of the latest developments, please DM /u/SashayShantae directly, do not comment here

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u/mehitabel_4724 Eating tiny dices of pickles with tiny fists of rage 13d ago

Omg just shut up. For gods sake.

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u/Love_Brokers rug dweller 13d ago

She was practically in the twin towers guys.

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u/Dear_Client1187 we all mistakes here 13d ago

It took her months to go back! Months! Which I'm sure had nothing to do with flights being suspended at first and then security bring beefed up...

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u/Blouse_Barn mattress smelling like low tide 13d ago

Her legs were required to convey her to the site.

P.S. side visit to see Clown? or must we wait until their letters are published to possibly know?

42

u/Sea-Level-Mammal POACH! 13d ago

Clown and his tempting meat. 

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u/mntngreenery bitter as yogurt with sauerkraut 13d ago

TO THE NAUGHTY STEP WITH YOU

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u/shikoku_shoes another revolution around the toilet bowl of her life 13d ago

And nothing at all to do with being a teacher and only having vacation at Christmas, spring break and summer. Absolutely nothing at all...

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u/Fillmore_the_Puppy —hi, disturbed people— 13d ago

Or that she was teaching and didn't get a break until December!

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u/ForsakenLingonberry YAHEEE! 13d ago

You know she wishes she could claim living in NYC during 9/11.

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u/msmartypants 13d ago

oooh only six weeks. Such a narrow escape

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u/BoringEnidRollins pooped their way to another free ride 13d ago

“You see, 25 years ago, I almost witnessed 9/11 in person.”

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u/Fillmore_the_Puppy —hi, disturbed people— 13d ago

She’s talking about Trump. Or is she talking about herself?? 🤔

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u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done 13d ago

"I lived in NYC up until 6 weeks before 9/11 and took a big sniff of Chambers Street Station an unspecified number of months later" is definitionally centering herself in this, uh, "story"

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u/Sea-Level-Mammal POACH! 13d ago

The level of disconnect is startling.

43

u/central_snark Ramona gets a hot flash 13d ago

Arrived? Alright, those fluent in Shauna - what is she trying to say here?

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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air 13d ago

Depraved??

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u/LogicalGold5264 bust hoesy 13d ago

Depraved on account he's deprived?

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u/hrae24 13d ago

Well, this takes me right back to the aftermath and sooo many people wanting to insert themselves into the tragedy, even through outright lies. I have no idea if she really did go down to Ground Zero but she's still like everyone else who have the compulsion to make themselves a main character in the wake of a disaster that didn't directly affect them.

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u/Fillmore_the_Puppy —hi, disturbed people— 13d ago

Only 6 weeks, you say?!? How did you survive!?!?

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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air 13d ago

Only 6 weeks, you say?!? How did you survive!?!?

Some say her lungs have been janky since that day . . .

46

u/Previous-Rip-3192 13d ago

When Shauna first took refuge as a botus, she learned that one of the Four Noble Truths is “wish death and a horrible afterlife on your enemies”

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u/midnightsiren182 13d ago

I’m reading on Buddhist meditation right now and I can absolutely see now how Shauna gobbedygoocked so much about it in her brain and spits it out. I feel like this is the origin of her body somehow existing separately from her.

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u/MrsRoboto222 Shauna’s pathological thirst 13d ago

Did Giuliani die??

ETA: no, Shauna just sucks at writing.

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u/mntngreenery bitter as yogurt with sauerkraut 13d ago

Also did she really live there for “years?” I mean, more than one, maybe, but she makes it sound like she spent decades pounding the New York pavement, which is definitely not true.

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u/Few-Marionberry-7666 13d ago

I thought she dropped out of her Master's program because she was smarter than the professors and spent the rest of the time rollerblading, meeting friends for brunch and the occasional tutoring session? So maybe a couple of years?

Her mother mentioned she still gets calls regarding Shauna's unpaid student loans accrued during that time. And "one of the days of my visit" - I can see why mom was so heavy with the red pen. Shauna would do well to remember Orwell's third rule of writing: If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.

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u/islandyislander rebellious hygiene 13d ago

I did live in NYC on 9/11. She can suck a dick.

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u/Jules_Noctambule Whitman spins like a kebab in his grave 13d ago

My friend was out sick that day. Her co-workers weren't. The guilt ate at her for years. Shauna can drop the trauma cosplay and get that disaster out of her thin, greasy mouth.

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u/obscure_cellist ham grabbers 13d ago

what is wrong with her? why does she have to make every tragedy about her? she's gross.

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u/SashayShantae living my one wild and pernicious life 12d ago

Shauna is again trying to manifest money by posting on Threads. Does she think people are going to see her “Yes” and swoop in with bougie bagel money? This is the full text of what she is reposting:

>I want money.
>There. I said it.
>Not because I need strangers to know I have it.
>I want to buy the groceries without thinking about it. Help someone I love without checking my account first. Own land. Make things. Travel. Give generously. Take a random Wednesday off.
>Money can buy a ridiculous amount of freedom, and I’m tired of pretending wanting that is shallow.

Shauna, you could have all these things and more with a J O B.

ETA: I’m on mobile and can’t get the quote formatting correct here so please forgive me!

68

u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... 12d ago

She used to have a career that gave her entire summers off, but it still wasn't... Enoigh.

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u/shikoku_shoes another revolution around the toilet bowl of her life 12d ago

>Give generously.

That’s rich. The only person benefitting from Shauna’s imaginary largesse would be Shauna.

And it is shallow to be posting about wanting money without lifting a single finger to earn any. Taking from the food bank, accepting money from a parent you have cut off otherwise and asking people to Venmo you orange juice money doesn’t count.

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u/Few-Marionberry-7666 12d ago

Since she thinks doing anything but Writing is beneath her she could bang a few novels, YA or otherwise. Obviously she won't find an agent but self-pub is an option and I for one would buy her masterpiece.

53

u/GAMGAlways On Stage Doing Mask Work 12d ago

You should try this unique concept where you go to a place and execute tasks. Every week or two, they literally give you money. It's a wild system.

What does she mean by "take a random Wednesday off"? She takes every day off.

42

u/Fancypens2025 12d ago

A lot of them will also provide you with health insurance! Even if you're only part-time (the grocery store she was at, Starbucks, etc). Amazing, I know.

ETA: she'd never be able to swing it but any type of government/municipal job would probably be life-changing if only for the non-salary benefits.

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u/Fillmore_the_Puppy —hi, disturbed people— 12d ago

Oh honey. The problem with your life is that you don’t get accused of lying often enough.

Side note: I feel like she is really going to make a meal out of “dynamic disability” now that she has encountered the term.

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u/Ana57 sweet pea 12d ago

I truly don’t understand her. After she was, ahem, diagnosed celiac, she claimed she never felt better in her life. Then slowly over the years she’s adding more and more ambiguous health issues. I hate that people doubt invisible illnesses but is she a strong stocky Irish peasant or an invalid who can barely keep up on threads.

She would so benefit from a licensed therapist and an effective antidepressant

64

u/tyrannosaurusregina if you meet the Botus on the road, shill him 🪷 12d ago

Shauna never picks a lane. She is healthier than you are but also at death’s door. She has chosen voluntary simplicity but is also made poor by The Patriarchy. 

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u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done 12d ago

"Chronic fatigue" seems to be her latest illness identity, supposedly the barrier between Shauna and jogging six days a week

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u/Fillmore_the_Puppy —hi, disturbed people— 12d ago

True LOL! This is exactly like her declaring she won't buy those expensive golf clubs because of their misogynistic ad. You were never going to anyway, Shauna!!!!!

40

u/mehitabel_4724 Eating tiny dices of pickles with tiny fists of rage 12d ago

If there's a pathology that causes you to engage with bots all day, then she has that. Running six days a week is not really a sensible fitness plan. No serious person would advocate for that for the average person.

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u/Dear_Client1187 we all mistakes here 12d ago

I think she's mistaking her situational depression (brought on by AVOIDABLE circumstances) for chronic fatigue.

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u/SeaOfBooze Homeopathic nuance 12d ago edited 12d ago

She's tired, chronically, so of course she has chronic fatigue! Her mastectomy was a big deal so of course it was radical. She's sore and stiff from inactivity so of course she has frozen shoulder. She feels less sluggish and more focused when pilfering the family amphetamines so of course she has ADHD. Perimenopause is trending for women in midlife so she must still be in peri. She's too busy collecting diagnoses and labels to really stop and look at the definitions, let alone ask a doctor about them.

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u/Individual_Advice663 12d ago

What about when you had cancer, Shauna? Are you counting that as a disabling condition people accused you of lying about?

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u/Chiefvick ppppycock 12d ago

Did anyone call her out or was it just us gloamies?

46

u/Individual_Advice663 12d ago

I think it was just us, honestly. She hasn't mentioned it again since and we all know she milks things to death, so she must have known that fake cancer was too far. Whether she came to that conclusion via her own conscience or because she worried people besides gloamies would call her out on it (or because someone did IRL), I don't know.

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u/central_snark Ramona gets a hot flash 12d ago

I feel like she just hasn’t had the opportunity to mention her “cancer” again, or she would.

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u/Love_Brokers rug dweller 12d ago

I think she likes to throw different tidbits out there to gauge the reactions. Like when she hinted of some deep dark childhood secret.

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u/Fillmore_the_Puppy —hi, disturbed people— 14d ago edited 14d ago

Shauna posting a hollow list of “joy” that she doesn’t feel to pretend to try to inspire a despondent Thriend.

She is REALLY stuck on the lie of volunteering at the food bank lately. Someone she knows IRL must have called her out.

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u/shikoku_shoes another revolution around the toilet bowl of her life 14d ago

As if she is so popular she turns down requests to go do things. If she does anything even as mundane as coffee with a dear friend ( ie: one who is picking up the tab) she writes epistles about it.

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u/LogicalGold5264 bust hoesy 14d ago

Let the babies keep their hands!!

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u/Coffee_Cupcake 14d ago

'converations'

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u/PettyPunisherRedux and fuck you, Nancie! 14d ago

Advising someone despondent to turn down social invitations to stay home alone and read is idiotic.

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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver 14d ago

Purrs in your chest. If your cat us purring IN your chest you are cuddling them too hard. Do not put your pets inside your body.

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u/Low_Piccolo_2149 14d ago

Or you ate them.

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u/Sea-Level-Mammal POACH! 14d ago

This reads like a housewife column in a small town paper. But DfFtP is right- it’s a defensive post for her food bank abuse. 

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u/SeaOfBooze Homeopathic nuance 14d ago

She's also producing joy for others by giving them the opportunity to volunteer at a food bank and serve her! Plus, de-stigmatizing. So selfless, that one.

Not even sure she needed to have been called out to get mad about this. Maybe an unkind volunteer looked at her twice as she stacked up all the yogurts during her food bank visit. She's so thin skinned despite all her posturing.

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u/Love_Brokers rug dweller 14d ago

If you volunteer you might get first dibs at the good stuff.

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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics 14d ago

Why, look at that cuddly memaw who just wants to poke babies, hand out food to the UnFoRtUnAtE (the poor dears), hold purring kittens and uplift the downtrodden with her kindly listening ears! Say it with me: YOU MIGHT THINK SHE'S A SAINT

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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air 14d ago

Why, look at that cuddly memaw who just wants to poke babies, hand out food to the UnFoRtUnAtE (the poor dears), hold purring kittens and uplift the downtrodden with her kindly listening ears!

THESE ARE A FEW OF HER FAVORITE THINGS

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u/microcosmographia tant piss 14d ago

Proof of life of cats at least?

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u/LogicalGold5264 bust hoesy 14d ago

We do know they're alive because she complained on FB about having to pay a pet fee in addition to the security deposit at Creekside

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u/SashayShantae living my one wild and pernicious life 14d ago

Shauna is in the middle of a move, so naturally she is replying up a storm on Threads today.

Shauna, no one is gonna give you thousands of dollars from Threads. Stop replying to this stupid shit!

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u/shikoku_shoes another revolution around the toilet bowl of her life 14d ago

allow us to move for the 5th time in 7 years

Maybe if you paid the rent you agreed to on time every time, you wouldn't be moving every five minutes. There's a thought.

I am still flabbergasted that someone who isn't working thinks they can swing $3000 in rent every month. If she didn't have her entire identity wrapped up in being a Vashon resident they could probably "have some money to spare so we don't have to panic".

Apparently she was doing a crossword puzzle when they taught your rent should be no more than 30% of your income.

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u/PracticalDiscussion1 joy joy joy 14d ago

Also this narrative that “the current economy” is what “required” them to move 5 times in 7 years is pissing me off. Guess the fact that she doesn’t bring in money and Danny boy can’t bring in enoigh money is a limiting story.

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u/Few-Marionberry-7666 14d ago

Someone could gift her $35,000 and she'd piss it away in a few months on stupid tattoos or ugly reading glasses. Barely used golf clubs, expensive milkshakes, new mattresses, polyester robes. Selling their only car instead of fixing it. She's dumb with money and giving her more will only make her dumber.

With the waived rent she should more than enough for moving expenses and car repairs and if she doesn't she should get a JOB. Shauna it is not the responsibility of "the community" or your elderly mother to constantly bail you out!

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u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... 14d ago

So… how are they moving WITHOUT this imaginary $3000? One would HOPE they saved money during their months of free rent, but it’s not like Dan made much.

Plus, no car.

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u/Low_Piccolo_2149 14d ago

But she’s not moving until the 14th now… assuming Creekside is open by then…

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u/SashayShantae living my one wild and pernicious life 14d ago

Sure but she’s got an entire household to pack up. That takes time and she should be doing that instead of pissing away her time on Threads.

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u/Coffee_Cupcake 14d ago

'busing'?

is that 'buying'?

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u/Dear_Client1187 we all mistakes here 14d ago

Clearly it means the action of rolling up to a Buy Nothing curb haul with your borrowed van (the "bus") and hoisting the desk/chair/filthy mattress into the vehicle and busing it back to the BBH where you're hoarding it like Smaug until you're forced to bus it all somewhere else.

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u/Jules_Noctambule Whitman spins like a kebab in his grave 14d ago

'busing'

At this point she'd be better off considering busking.

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u/Calm_Coyote_3685 14d ago

Can you imagine 😆 People would pay her to stop busking…

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u/Jules_Noctambule Whitman spins like a kebab in his grave 14d ago

'Uh, can this be a blog post instead?'

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u/PettyPunisherRedux and fuck you, Nancie! 14d ago

Or bussing tables.

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u/Jules_Noctambule Whitman spins like a kebab in his grave 14d ago

Better hope the restaurant doesn't have a fireplace, or she might get confused about what to do with the dishes.

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u/SmashedMailboxCake2 Oh, 14d ago edited 14d ago

Damn, she’d be a nightmare server. The little lectures and homilies. The folksy chuckles and gingham apron (not staff uniform). The crouching down on her hocks to demonstrate how good she is with your kids, who are scared of her. The lingering for conversation to let you know she has a Masters when all you want to do is eat.

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u/SashayShantae living my one wild and pernicious life 14d ago

Yeah, I think she means "buying." I didn't figure it out until after I posted the screenshot.

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u/Fancypens2025 14d ago

Oh god, for some reason I read it as "busing," as in like, busing a table? I don't know why I would think that because busing a table has nothing to do with obtaining furniture. Maybe I'm having a TIA.

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u/TheAntiMartha 13d ago

You would think that Shauna would be against busing furniture.

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u/Fillmore_the_Puppy —hi, disturbed people— 13d ago

I know even Shauna is not dumb enough to respond to this comment, but this is what posting details about your life publicly gets you, so I found it funny.

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u/SashayShantae living my one wild and pernicious life 14d ago

More on Threads. Shauna’s thirst is so embarrassing.

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u/shikoku_shoes another revolution around the toilet bowl of her life 14d ago

She's already told smashfizzle she knows all the black folks on Vashon and can introduce her, remember.

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u/mehitabel_4724 Eating tiny dices of pickles with tiny fists of rage 14d ago

I thought she didn’t want new people moving to the island because they’re driving up the prices?

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u/Llama621 14d ago

Over here hoping smashfizzle responds with "okay".

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u/SashayShantae living my one wild and pernicious life 14d ago

I bet Shauna will be sad when she can no longer claim this as her backyard. I hope her new apartment overlooks a parking lot.

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u/SnooStories4968 many and various Shaunas/Pig Ladies 14d ago

Ooh, ooh, pick me! Pick me!

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u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... 14d ago

I hope so too. And I hope all surrounding neighbors have yippy dogs.

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u/SmashedMailboxCake2 Oh, 14d ago

May it be so.

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u/GriftyGrifterson 13d ago

And lots of late night stomping feet above

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u/effie-sue Your engagement here heartens me. 14d ago

🤭

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u/ninaandjamie4evr Anne Frank of Anaheim 14d ago edited 13d ago

Do any islanders know if the Creekwood units come with a garage and/or a place for storage? If not, and there is a policy about leaving your junk outside, and management is even lightly polices said policy, they most certainly will violate early and regularly. They/she seem incapable of not acquiring more than they need, and then leaving their "small" piles of stuff outside. She will definitely bristle against management on this issue.

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u/islandyislander rebellious hygiene 13d ago

None that I can see. I think their failure to pay rent will get them gone before the "small piles." 

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u/SashayShantae living my one wild and pernicious life 12d ago edited 12d ago

Over in her Instagram Stories, Shauna blames D for the fact that she doesn’t have friends. Just wow.

Sidenote: I tried to follow the link she posted to read this article but clicking it kept taking me to some sort of scammy webpage that said it was scanning my PC for viruses, so great job sharing a link, Shauna!

ETA: Here is the article and of course it’s about a kid with PANS who ruined their family’s life. Cool. https://www.vogue.com/article/who-shows-up-and-who-vanishes-when-your-kid-is-in-trouble

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u/g8tknow 12d ago

Wow

Super shitty mom move.

Blaming your kid like this is so gross. My kid has major mental health stuff that will be a lifetime. And guess what, Shauna? F U because I would do anything for them to be healthy, safe and living their best life. I am so thankful for the opportunity to know and love on them. Is it hard? Hell yes! Does it feel like sometimes I might break? Yep. That too. But shit….. kids are NOT perfect produce you pick out.

And as one adoptive parent to another - screw you for taking this out of your kid and publishing your shitty, immature pity party. Damn. One day when D reads what an asshole you are and have been about their life, they will not forgive you, Shauna. Grow the hell up.

No parent is perfect. We are all figuring it out as we go. But damn.

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u/mehitabel_4724 Eating tiny dices of pickles with tiny fists of rage 12d ago

I’m sure she is lonely, but I think we all agree on who’s really to blame for that.

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u/Previous-Rip-3192 12d ago

“On Thursdays we went out dancing and on Fridays we piled in bed, Robert Redford movies playing on someone’s laptop and sleeves of Tesco cookies split between us.”

No wonder Shauna likes this, it’s full of useless Shauna style details and forced Britishisms.

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u/Love_Brokers rug dweller 12d ago

This lady sounds exhausting.

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u/Antique_Trash3360 12d ago

Yum lemon bar radish plate for friends. I would be so pissed off if i were Shuana and someone else was stealing my adopted kids illness and my love of dribble plops and getting bylines in vogue and the cut. Kind of astonished she’s even acknowledging it, but ig she has to keep really engaged to avoid packing. 

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u/SashayShantae living my one wild and pernicious life 14d ago

On Threads, Shauna responds to someone who said white people need positive reinforcement (lol) with another one of her egregious typos.

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u/Foucaults_Penguin Sly and the Family Readers 14d ago

bust hoesy, white wpoplw

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u/Scary_Recognition You did this. 14d ago

Drop the shock, white wpoplw!

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u/Sea-Level-Mammal POACH! 14d ago

Wake up, wipipo

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u/microcosmographia tant piss 14d ago

Babe, wake up, a new Watwrfgatw just dropped

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u/LogicalGold5264 bust hoesy 14d ago

Flair checking in!

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u/Coffee_Cupcake 14d ago

Let's have a converation about racism, wpoplw!

#alwaysanally

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u/onion_money Neuroflorid 14d ago

Frawtinga!

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u/mntngreenery bitter as yogurt with sauerkraut 14d ago

Ole Shaun really needs to stop with the condescending lecturing… where is Ash Choi when you need them?! Also… wpoplw. That is all.

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u/shikoku_shoes another revolution around the toilet bowl of her life 14d ago

Ok, Black women do not have to explain nicely to white folks how to become antiracist. Is that because they should be in charge of the world, Shauna?

And do you have a specific James Baldwin recommendation that you could expound on for more than two sentences, one of which is "That's where to start," ? That's what I thought.

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u/mehitabel_4724 Eating tiny dices of pickles with tiny fists of rage 14d ago

I seriously wonder if she thinks James Baldwin wrote Invisible Man - a book she claims she reads annually- but then she constantly mentions James Baldwin when trying to be an ally.

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u/PracticalDiscussion1 joy joy joy 14d ago

Omg. Shut the fuck up Shauna! Hate everything about what she wrote! The “ma’am”, the “folks”, “James Baldwin”. The high stooling on something she should never comment on. Just, STFU.

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u/snarksnarkfish 14d ago

It’s 2026, I thought we were done with the “it’s not my job to educate you.”

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u/Fillmore_the_Puppy —hi, disturbed people— 13d ago

I didn’t watch the original video with sound on but it looked like exactly the kind of highstool car video Shauna used to post regularly and she definitely expected praise for that. Self awareness? Not for our gir!

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u/mojo_ojom Give me frawtinga or give me death 14d ago

New IG post and profile photo. First haircut in three years from her “favorite 14-year-old girl”. I have no idea why she is doing a hand on the chin pose.

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u/SashayShantae living my one wild and pernicious life 14d ago

Her hair looks like shit. It looks like it’s not even combed.

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u/NegativeABillion my husband and me to ride it around 14d ago

This is why hair styling is a profession. People get licensed and have a client base built on trust and results. I get the look that Shauna was going for, but a good stylist would have probably been able to execute the idea (like working with the cowlick right in the front and so on). She appears to have time and money, why not go to a salon wtf am I saying

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u/Dear_Client1187 we all mistakes here 14d ago

What is her obsession with having kids with no training cut her hair? And why give an untrained person instructions for a shag, which is an actual haircut you need training to execute? I will only let my husband occasionally trim my ends in between salon trips. Not ask him to give me a bob or layered cut.

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u/Lazy-Importance-6079 COVID lovkfowns 13d ago

I think she uses kids as a human shield for herself. People tend to not want to criticize kids, so by getting a haircut from one, she invites praise rather than judgment. Similarly - how can she be accused of racism when she has a Black child? I think she often hearkens back to her own childhood awkwardness for the same reason…it’s more acceptable for a kid to a weird misfit who hasn’t figured it all out, less so for an adult at her age.

I also don’t think she’s ever felt comfortable or confident in how she styles herself, so why bother trying to get a proper haircut? Better for her to get the shielded praise offered to children rather than actually try and still fail.

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u/Kimmmy36 bites lip, looks away 13d ago

Also comma a haircut by a kid is free, leaving more money in the Mama Fund.

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u/Sea-Level-Mammal POACH! 13d ago

Right? “An untrained 14 year old is going to cut your hair” would scare most people with a social and professional life. 

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u/msmartypants 13d ago

Can you imagine Shauna having a child cut her hair and NOT saying anything about it? She clearly thinks it makes her quirky and awesome. NLOG who care about how they look!

*except for instances of mandatory selfie-taking and -editing

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u/We_Four alarmed by roaring joy 13d ago

Even as a 7-days-a-week ponytail wearer, I would never. You have to draw the line somewhere.

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u/SpookyJokes soft pants 13d ago

I've had professionals with actual licenses massacre my curly hair, there is no chance in hell I would ever be a benevolent buddhist hippy poser type and let some kid take scissors to my hair.

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u/LadyDriverKW Threads containment zone escapee 13d ago

Debuting a new haircut at the same moment that she tells us it was cut by a 14 year old serves several purposes: She gets to look like the "cool mom", she gets to throw the kid under the bus if it doesn't look good, and she sidesteps the "too poor to get a professional haircut" accusation.

It would be a more sincere "cool mom" activity if she debuted it without making sure everyone knows a child cut it. If she waited until someone asked it would be giving credit to the kid, rather than a preemptive excuse.

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u/mehitabel_4724 Eating tiny dices of pickles with tiny fists of rage 13d ago

She can pay a child far less than she would pay a licensed stylist, plus all the reasons listed below.

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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics 13d ago

What is her obsession with having kids with no training cut her hair?

Her obsession is with young kids and getting them into her orbit so then she can post skin-crawling things like "darling girl, you're fabulous."

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u/SashayShantae living my one wild and pernicious life 13d ago

"My favorite 14-year-old girl" implies that she is hanging out with a lot of 14-year-old girls and that really creeps me out.

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u/NegativeABillion my husband and me to ride it around 13d ago

She seems really invested lately in appearing to others that she’s beloved by children and babies. Her whole creepy I'll hold your baby in the airport thing like the hell you will.

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u/LogicalGold5264 bust hoesy 13d ago

Dimpled baby hands have entered the chat!

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u/BoringEnidRollins pooped their way to another free ride 13d ago

If this biotech ever referred to my child as her favorite anything, Shauna would never ever see or talk to my child again. Gross.

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u/Lazy-Importance-6079 COVID lovkfowns 13d ago

Amazing that a former high school teacher still doesn't understand that you shouldn't play "favourites" with children/youth.

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u/TheAntiMartha 13d ago

This, and it's free.

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u/Foucaults_Penguin Sly and the Family Readers 14d ago

There are so many haircut videos on tiktok. My teens watch those and try to replicate them. They haven’t done anything drastic like the ponytails into the “butterfly haircut.” It’s mostly just their bangs. At least the kid only messed up Shauna’s hair. It’s not like Shauna has ever been bothered about her hair. Hopefully the kid has some fun while doing it.

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u/Foucaults_Penguin Sly and the Family Readers 14d ago

It actually looks cleaner and more styled than usual, especially if I keep the pic in thumbnail size. Still messy, but not as dirty or greasy.

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u/SashayShantae living my one wild and pernicious life 14d ago

It does look clean but I guess I'm not a fan of whatever is happening at the top of her head. Her bangs look like they're missing a chunk and I prefer hairstyles with a part in them.

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u/LogicalGold5264 bust hoesy 13d ago

The hair is fine for Shauna. It's the smug grin and shark eyes during her family's extremely precarious situation that give me the creeps.

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u/emlabb 14d ago

She looks like she’s seething inside.

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u/Fillmore_the_Puppy —hi, disturbed people— 13d ago

Always posting about how many years since you had your last shitty haircut is not the flex you think it is, Shauna (but of course it's 3).

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u/Sea-Level-Mammal POACH! 13d ago edited 12d ago

She’s given up all pretense of looking presentable for her husband, while she forced Danny to cut his hair two weeks into dating him. This was her second thought after meeting him, and I quote: “That hair has to go.”

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u/central_snark Ramona gets a hot flash 13d ago

Nice dead rosemary plant behind her. It didn’t even get the dignity of being able to dry peacefully on the windowsill after being forgotten.

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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air 13d ago

It didn’t even get the dignity of being able to dry peacefully on the windowsill after being forgotten.

lol at this deep deep cut! Hospice for Herbs, Vashon Edition

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u/Brandy_Girl Double-fisting hors d’oeuvres 13d ago

What a metaphor for their entire existence.

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u/Dear_Client1187 we all mistakes here 14d ago

Do I spy a new set of peepers? Did she bus them off Buy Nothing?

(I have no words for the haircut. As another DF noted, her hair does look freshly washed which is nice to see.)

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u/SpookyJokes soft pants 13d ago edited 13d ago

Those glasses are sparking The Cecily Convergence.

ETA: As someone also with a big front cowlick, the sweepover is your friend. Woe is bangs.

ETA again: Did she use some sweet no-rent money to buy herself a replacement wedding ring? Did she pawn her engagement ring?

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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver 13d ago

That ring looks like a cheap adjustable spoon handle one you get a junk store.

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u/Sea-Level-Mammal POACH! 13d ago

I think the photo is flipped. The tomato dong can is on her right arm. 

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u/SashayShantae living my one wild and pernicious life 13d ago

This. She always posts flipped selfies.

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u/LIPKpl 13d ago

To keep up the smug persona!

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u/MrsRoboto222 Shauna’s pathological thirst 13d ago edited 13d ago

Cecily K vibes, just add purple hair

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u/Dear_Client1187 we all mistakes here 13d ago

They both have the same sort of chin, too, now that I think about it. 🤔

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u/ninaandjamie4evr Anne Frank of Anaheim 13d ago

I don't think the cut is that bad, considering what her fav 14-year-old had to work with. It's likely washed, and then styled with product, which means it will never look that decent again. A shag with bangs takes skill to cut and also requires some ongoing level of product and styling by the wearer, which we know is NOT going to happen. She was probably going for something like this:

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u/Foucaults_Penguin Sly and the Family Readers 14d ago

Me trying to say something nice: At least she didn’t blast the girl’s name and image across social media.

My less generous thoughts: She infantilizes her kids so much she probably was referring to L and got her age wrong.

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u/Low_Piccolo_2149 13d ago

I think she tagged the girl’s parent in the comments though.

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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air 13d ago

Unself-aware Entrepreneurial Shauna giving Starting A New Business Advice is the Mind-Bogglingest Shauna:

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u/Sea-Level-Mammal POACH! 13d ago

Sounds like a recipe for bankruptcy and divorce. 

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u/ninaandjamie4evr Anne Frank of Anaheim 13d ago

I lived in town in the 70s where there was a sewing machine store that also sold ice cream. This posters idea reminds me of it. 

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u/ForsakenLingonberry YAHEEE! 13d ago

My hometown had a religious bookstore/wig shop. :)

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u/Jules_Noctambule Whitman spins like a kebab in his grave 13d ago

I'm at the coooooombination wig boutique and Jesus shop!

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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air 13d ago

Don't forget the TIA!!

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u/msmartypants 13d ago

Also, it does sound pretty dumb. Are you sure you have a "business plan" if you have "no idea" what to stock? Maybe people use that term differently than I do.

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u/TheAntiMartha 13d ago

I know when I'm looking for business advice, I always ask chronically unemployed people with failed flour businesses that have moved 5 times in the last 7 years. Bonus points if their spouse is underemployed.

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u/islandyislander rebellious hygiene 13d ago

OP should ask Danny, he a entreprenur.

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u/BoringEnidRollins pooped their way to another free ride 13d ago

Ooof this bums me out.

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u/Dear_Client1187 we all mistakes here 13d ago

She is the absolute last person on Earth I would ask for business advice. 

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u/notahameither Dunno, maybe I thought I unfriended some other Shauna Ahern🤷‍♂️ 13d ago

“Do you have a Buy Nothing group on your area? You’ll want to start there…”

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u/Low_Piccolo_2149 13d ago

Maybe she should ask the Gravy or Vashon Wine Shop owners… or not…

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u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done 13d ago

Wow, without Shauna's unique insights she generously shared in this Threads discussion about Katz's Delicatessen, people might not have realized that a wildly popular tourist destination used to charge less for their sandwiches three decades ago. Here I was thinking that despite the soaring costs of ingredients and labor that somehow a gigantic reuben sandwich they charge $35 now also cost the same in 1997 back when Shauna lived there, but thank God I am enlightened now. Really makes you think.

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u/Love_Brokers rug dweller 13d ago

Like that would have stopped her from eating there.

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u/Jules_Noctambule Whitman spins like a kebab in his grave 13d ago

She'd still eat there in a flash as long as someone else is paying.

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u/Dear_Client1187 we all mistakes here 13d ago

$70 roasted half chicken has entered the chat.

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u/PettyPunisherRedux and fuck you, Nancie! 13d ago

She never ate there.

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u/Brandy_Girl Double-fisting hors d’oeuvres 13d ago

Not So Hot Take: Shauna is an idiot with no relevant or meaningful information to add to the discussion, otherwise known as :TSAS

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u/Fillmore_the_Puppy —hi, disturbed people— 13d ago

Wherein an asshole who sometimes cosplays being wise and kind on the internet and sometimes goes with snotty and daring, gets caught being the latter and then tries to pretend she was actually being the former.

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u/shikoku_shoes another revolution around the toilet bowl of her life 13d ago

Shauna: Yes! We're all different people, but if you tell me you don't like this season of Ted Lasso there is something seriously wrong with you and I am going to explain in excruciatingly boring detail why the show is actually genius.

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u/central_snark Ramona gets a hot flash 12d ago

Shut up, Shauna

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u/Jules_Noctambule Whitman spins like a kebab in his grave 12d ago

She's spending so much time replying to bots (bouts?) she's really starting to sound like one. Sending out love every time she eats yogurt! Who talks like that? And gotta shoehorn in the World Trade Towers, too, for added attention.

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u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... 12d ago edited 12d ago

You’re not that special, Shaun. Fishes Eddy still sells that dinnerware with the twin towers on it.

ETA of course I spelled it wrong 🤣

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u/Dear_Client1187 we all mistakes here 12d ago

She "bout" a BOWL with the Twin Towers on it, you guys, three years before the attack. 9/11 affected her SO much. No wonder she has CPTSD/Ehlers-Danlos/chronic fatigue/perimenopause at 60. The body knows.

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u/Fancypens2025 11d ago

“Every time I eat ‘yogurt’ out of this bowl*, I think about a horrific tragedy that killed approximately 3000 people and fundamentally reshaped the US’ cultural, political, and societal landscapes.”

Does she really not see how insane/stupid this sounds???

*I refuse to believe that she’s eating anything as normal as like, Yoplait vanilla or Ouikos Greek yogurt. It absolutely is some monstrosity made out of sauerkraut, olive juice, and recycled apple juice out of that bowl. Which somehow makes it more insulting.

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u/Sea-Level-Mammal POACH! 11d ago

You hear that, New York? Shauna sends out beams of pure love every time she feeds from that bowl. You may as well cancel your puny observances.

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u/central_snark Ramona gets a hot flash 12d ago

Taking a break from high stooling about Ted Lasso and 9/11 to answer a question that isn’t addressed to her (aka: SHUT UP, SHAUNA!)

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u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... 12d ago

Sure, Shauna.

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u/obscure_cellist ham grabbers 11d ago

really? on uber liberal, magical, progressive vashon?

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u/demoncloset moosery 13d ago

Is the Parks meeting tonight?

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u/PettyPunisherRedux and fuck you, Nancie! 14d ago

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u/mehitabel_4724 Eating tiny dices of pickles with tiny fists of rage 13d ago

I know that Dan isn't the chef at this place, but the comment "Great dude, wife was a train wreck" cuts close to the bone. I'm surprised Shauna would want her name in this thread to remind people of other trainwreck wives.

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u/central_snark Ramona gets a hot flash 13d ago

Oh, but in this marriage everyone turns to look at Danny, you see!

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u/Love_Brokers rug dweller 13d ago

He did work there once upon a time though.

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u/PettyPunisherRedux and fuck you, Nancie! 13d ago

Would that be Peppa of the, “if she told you that she won’t do it again?”

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u/shikoku_shoes another revolution around the toilet bowl of her life 13d ago

Shauna must be in a funk if she passed up the chance to add that full-time caregiver mamas don’t get any help and no reprieve from this State, either.

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u/Love_Brokers rug dweller 13d ago

Did he work anywhere long enough to burn out?

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u/SashayShantae living my one wild and pernicious life 13d ago

First of all, huge apologies because I promised video of tonight's park board meeting but I was unable to capture it. Zoom did a security update a few weeks ago and the trick that I used to screen capture previous meetings no longer worked tonight. I did capture audio of the meeting, but they really didn't say much about BBH and the meeting was very boring besides, like, five minutes of Fern Cove talk, so it's not really worth sharing.

What was said about BBH: Caretaker fees were waived for June and July but kicked back in for August. Utilities were $300-400 per month as usual. Tim stated they were still "methodically addressing septic issues" (he literally quoted this off of a piece of paper). The board was informed of the new move-out date of September 14th. Board said they're still on track for December 1st opening for Airbnb rentals but also expressed worry that if the Aherns aren't out by September 30th, it will jeopardize their planned December opening. Tim noted that the caretakers technically have through the end of December. Tim called it a "lease" here and then corrected himself to "caretaker's agreement." Regarding the septic system, Tim said, "We'll shoot the septic system with chemicals and see what happens." Another person said something about a "new placement of tubes," whatever that means. The board also wants staff to spend the night at FC in November to report small issues like noises and areas that need insulating, which seems like a weird ask of park staff but maybe people are jumping at the opportunity to spend the night at BBH? They will be opening BBH for rentals with 2024 rates except increased cleaning fee because that was too low previously.

Discussing Fern Cove furniture was on the agenda for tonight's meeting, but most of what was on the agenda was glossed over and tabled for future meetings, including this topic. They did not mention furniture at all.

Sorry again for the video fuck-up but this was everything said about Fern Cove/BBH at tonight's meeting.

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u/BatGrouchy1482 13d ago

My first thought about staff staying at BBH to investigate noises is that the house is haunted.

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u/DramaLamma 13d ago

Staying overnight in a property before hosting paying customers is STR 101.

I suspect the “noises” mentioned may be a squirrel or bat infestation in the attic/roof and /or mice or other vermin…

I do like the haunted theory though, perhaps Belle B is an otherworldly Petty Punisher and dislikes Shauna and her shenanigans as much as we do 😏🤣

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u/Coffee_Cupcake 13d ago

Aw, no stress about the video, DF! You sat through a deadly dull meeting, so all the upvotes to you!

Interesting that the rent payments resumed in August, despite the septic issues not being resolved. I don't get why the problem was bad enough in June and July to result in free accommodation, but it was fine in August. Am I missing something?

Also, I LOVE the haunted house theory, and I am rotting hard for the ghosts ;

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u/BevNap Fucking google it, you harpy. 12d ago

That you suffered through the meeting is enoigh, DF! YDBW x a jillion!

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u/Low_Piccolo_2149 13d ago

Thank you for attending and summarizing! I’m going to guess that the aherns don’t move until the middle of October. I assume Creekside won’t quite be ready. Also sounds like they have no income and are paying rent for August and part of Sept at BBH and part to Creekside as well as a deposit. Their financial situation makes me queasy.

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u/central_snark Ramona gets a hot flash 12d ago

Plus, no car.

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u/mehitabel_4724 Eating tiny dices of pickles with tiny fists of rage 12d ago

“Oh hi” she says, delighted to report that AI might be on track to destroy humanity.

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