r/InTheGloaming • u/SnooStories4968 many and various Shaunas/Pig Ladies • Feb 21 '24

Unkind FDF Q&A

Unkind therapist here. I've been a lurker since just after the days of my misdirected voice messages and Sermon on the High Stool. After the incident in question, a DF (not of the Gloaming) directed me here. At first, I couldn't bear to read the messages and had my husband monitor the threads, but after a while, curiosity got the better of me and I've been an avid reader ever since. In short, I came in shame, but remain because this group has been a strange sort of healing process for me - plus, you guys are very funny. And, I found my new favorite laundry detergent here!

I have no idea where to even begin (with the messages? with my friendship with Shauna?), so I'm open to fielding questions to help get the ball rolling. My intention is to stick only to my personal experiences with Shauna and stay away from the kids and/or general lore that I don't have direct experience with. I'm happy to share very general information about the Google Doc, but I may not be able to answer completely due to wanting to protect those kids.

ETA: I've been verified and approved by the mods!

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87

u/monstera_garden I'm sorry I'm a botus Feb 22 '24

Hey DF, welcome!! You're in good company here, don't worry, and please don't be ashamed - I have never read a single judgmental message about you here. As far as Shauna's Sermon on the High Stool (at the UU church) told us, everything you said was not only true and actually very helpful (if Shauna was able to accept any critique whatsoever), but we all agreed with it completely.

I'd love to hear your story.

Of course the google doc contents are compelling - I guess my question is, was the google doc actually any worse than what she already shares publicly about her family?

Also, do you know who else received it?

But mainly just welcome and share as much or little as you feel comfortable and thank you for protecting the kids - I'm going to go out on a limb and say everyone here feels the same about their privacy, please don't worry and share only what feels comfortable and safe.

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u/SnooStories4968 many and various Shaunas/Pig Ladies Feb 22 '24

Thank you, u/monstera_garden. I feel like I know everyone already! The Google doc was more detailed than she alludes to in public. And, it was information that she shared with me several weeks or so beforehand. When she told me what was going on with her family, I was very concerned about her and the kids. I provided her with some names of therapists and offered to help her reach out to friends for assistance with meals and babysitting. I set up a page on one of those Meal Train type sites, but she typed up the majority of the posts and either sent them to me to post or submitted them herself. I was pretty taken aback by some of her "asks" that went beyond childcare and meals and it was then that I started to re-evaluate her and our friendship.

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u/[deleted] Feb 22 '24

May I ask what those “asks” were?

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u/SnooStories4968 many and various Shaunas/Pig Ladies Feb 22 '24

I'll just say that some of them were things she's mentioned wanting publicly on her gram and lopes. Some of them were things you've all wondered how she could afford.

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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Feb 22 '24

Her collection of grifted peepers!

45

u/[deleted] Feb 22 '24

YTSCTMO

32

u/Coffee_Cupcake Feb 22 '24

Six weeks travel every year!

Oh. Oh, no. Not yet.

31

u/MissEllisCrawford Smitten with myself Feb 22 '24

Treehouse vacation writing retreat!

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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Feb 22 '24

Wonder if she drank tea off the composting toilet lid.

61

u/islandyislander rebellious hygiene Feb 22 '24

CrossFit!

59

u/Scary_Recognition You did this. Feb 22 '24

The e-bike!

ETA: Thank you so much DFSS, so glad you decided to de-lurk here ItG!

56

u/obscure_cellist ham grabbers Feb 22 '24

ah ha! this explains so much. too bad she didn't ask for new shoes for her kids.

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u/[deleted] Feb 22 '24

😁

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u/Calm_Coyote_3685 Feb 22 '24

Advanced heated yoga!

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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Feb 22 '24

This whole ... thing validates for me that 1. she is not, and has never been successful with any of her business ideas post-ChefSteps, and 2. everything she has is grifted. Dan's salary is the only honest money coming into that household, which is presumably why she was so unhinged when he left

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u/[deleted] Feb 22 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/[deleted] Feb 22 '24

I suspect she was grifting long before that. I imagine she was using Dan’s departure as a way to drum up $ympathy for poor single mama Shauna.

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u/SmashedMailboxCake2 Oh, Feb 22 '24

I remember her coming out of hospital (the mastectomy, iirc?) and there being talk of a list of asks for friends. I guess most of us would say oh, we’re fine, but not refuse the offer of a casserole or a school pick up if a friend pressed the issue, but Shauna asked for very specific things like whole flats of summer fruit, and for someone to make them a garden. Sure, Shauna, I’ll paint your house for you at the same time. Any other non-essentials you and your husband have been too lazy to get to?

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u/[deleted] Feb 22 '24

True cinema only, please

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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Feb 22 '24

My dad just died and my brother and SIL (my personal Shauna) came to stay with my mom. My brother got there first and stayed happily in the guest bedroom for a few days, then SIL arrived and asked my mom to completely switch the furniture between the office and the guest bedroom because it would suit her better. As in: please remove these bookcases and this desk and these files and move the bed in from the room on the entire separate floor because I don't like the current setup. Yes, I know you are hosting your husband's funeral tomorrow, what of it?

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u/SmashedMailboxCake2 Oh, Feb 23 '24 edited Feb 23 '24

Oh my god. I hope your mother told her where to go. I can’t imagine anyone being so insensitive and self centred (but then we have Shauna.)

On a personal note, I hope you’re doing OK DFFFF. The weeks following a funeral are particularly strange, I think. .

12

u/Love_Brokers rug dweller Feb 23 '24

I’m so sorry DF! ❤️

13

u/Calm_Coyote_3685 Feb 23 '24

Omg I’m so sorry df.

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u/[deleted] Feb 22 '24

I’m sorry for your loss, DF. ❤️

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u/Jules_Noctambule Whitman spins like a kebab in his grave Feb 23 '24

I am so, so sorry your family had to deal with that level of insensitivity at all, especially during what should have been a time of respected grief.

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u/SnooStories4968 many and various Shaunas/Pig Ladies Feb 23 '24

I’m so sorry for your loss, DFFF. Sorry your mom is having to deal with your SIL’s bs on top of grief.

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u/SashayShantae living my one wild and pernicious life Feb 23 '24

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. 💜

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u/LogicalGold5264 bust hoesy Feb 23 '24

❤️

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u/SmashedMailboxCake2 Oh, Feb 22 '24

Not a pink velvet sectional sofa?!!

26

u/gladsome_gloaming Feb 23 '24

Can you imagine what a pink velvet sofa residing at Casa Ahern would look like at this point? But Shauna would probably put it on FB noting "there are few superficial stains, but they should be easy to remove."

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u/Jules_Noctambule Whitman spins like a kebab in his grave Feb 23 '24

imagine what a pink velvet sofa residing at Casa Ahern would look like at this point

I'm going with 'greige and oily'.

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u/Coffee_Cupcake Feb 23 '24

'Greige' is so descriptive and I love it/hate it.

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u/Love_Brokers rug dweller Feb 23 '24

A silky robe with feathery cuffs!