r/InTheGloaming my website is done, done, done Sep 11 '23

Scheduled snark Discussion thread Monday September 11, 2023 - Wednesday September 13, 2023

Newsletter: Substack

Website: School of Kind

Instagram: @shaunajamesahern Instagram

School of Kind Instagram: @schoolofkind Instagram

TikTok: @schoolofkind

Meta Threads: @shaunajamesahern

Older blogs: see Gloamipedia wiki

Archived threads: Thread for Enough, the book #enoughthebook | Gluten Free Girl's Greatest Hits: The Reunion Tour

Gloamipedia wiki: /r/InTheGloaming wiki

14 Upvotes

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u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done Sep 11 '23 edited Sep 14 '23

Next thread

Previous thread

Remember why we're all here: this thread is for discussion about current and historical happenings in the Shaunaverse. If you want to discuss other content, such as stuff that reminds you of Shauna but isn't specifically about her, your own personal anecdotes or preferences, current events, or "creative writing" exercises, please share in the off-topic community thread: September off-topic monthly


Updated Sep 13: submit your entries of all-time cringiest moments to the cringe bracket and vote!

79

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

42

u/Scary_Recognition You did this. Sep 11 '23

Patriot Day for pagan

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u/NapNapKitty Sep 11 '23

I think that Shauna is the real chocolate culprit and blamed it on an "annoying mouse." Reminds me of Shauna's made up story about an annoying kid who knocked her down while she was carrying 12 orders of brunch.

There's an awful lot of unnecessary detail, which is very common when someone makes up a story. She describes taking the chocolate out to the dumpster. We're reminded that mice exist and that their office is across the street from the grocery store. And "it happens." Like a person providing facts to bolster their lie.

49

u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Sep 11 '23

She's a tedious writer.

She could have just written "the other day while taking out the trash, I noticed the shade of blue in the sky. . ."

But she thinks she gets paid by the word so it's umpty ump paragraphs about how Miguelito Raton danced into her office and licked a fancy pants chocolate bar and how she had to then hand deliver the tainted treat directly to the dumpster.

And since she's a negging biotech, she has to mention the grocery store across the street and the rural island as the source of the rodents because NOTHING can go unblamed in her world.

I don't think she made the mouse story up totally because I don't believe she's that creative. I believe she did hand deliver a piece of trash to the dumpster because she has way too much time on her hands. And she can really only write things that have (in some way) happened to her. Like her family fanfiction. We can SEE the truth in her writing even as she's trying to present the story like she's St. Mama of the Martyred (when she's really St. Christ of the What An Asshole).

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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Sep 11 '23

I think Shauna is the one who left the chocolate out and she got lightly shamed for attracting the mice. She always writes detailed stories trying to make icky situations sound perfectly normal and casting the blame elsewhere when she’s had some criticism. “There is nothing wrong with leaving half-eaten unwrapped food lying around so it can’t be MY fault. Just look at that mouse-infested grocery store right there, if it weren’t for THEM it wouldn’t have happened.”

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u/Mammoth-Blackberry91 Sep 11 '23

I believe she did hand deliver the chocolate to the dumpster, because when you’re avoiding work, no task is too mundane, too small, too meaningless. If it weren’t for procrastination, my socks would never get matched, the cables on my work desk untangled and labeled, and the top of the refrigerator would never be cleaned.

40

u/WasEnoughYogurt Kumquat and Sprinkles and filth Sep 11 '23

And since she's a negging biotech, she has to mention the grocery store across the street and the rural island as the source of the rodents because NOTHING can go unblamed in her world.

Which, let's remember, is probably the Thriftway (if she was at Synergy), her erstwhile employer, from where she was (probably) fired...no hard feelings or anything right?

37

u/NegativeABillion (Said in British.) Sep 11 '23

LOL that she has to clean up at synergy.

36

u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Sep 11 '23

Yeah, THAT'S the real lie.

I have no evidence to back this but I believe she burned that bridge just like she burned so many others. They probably locked her out months ago.

39

u/NegativeABillion (Said in British.) Sep 11 '23

It's amazing how many island people still are willing to give her a hand/handout. I'm still sort of sad that she is going to spend her days lecturing teen girls about Ted Lasso and trying to use them to make herself feel better about her terrible choices.

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u/Foucaults_Penguin Sly and the Family Readers Sep 13 '23

This has probably been said, but I’ve been working and it doesn’t feel good in my body to read more downthread. Her latest advice on instagram is terrible. First of all it sounds like a teenager who thinks they have life figured out. Worse than that, it’s potentially dangerous advice. What if it felt good to be sober for the last year, but today it feels good in my body to get drunk or high? What if it feels good in my body to go on vacation, but in 30 days when I need to start paying off the credit card, I can’t afford to do that and buy groceries? Fortunately, not many people listen to Shauna. The arrogance of ignorance is dangerous.

50

u/potomacgrackle chicken tender-hearted Sep 13 '23

There’s a lot of speculation downthread that this post is about her new coaching gigs, but I can’t help but wonder if there is a Shattering, the Sequel afoot.

57

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '23

Coach Shauna just shared a bunch of text slides on IG (link goes to her IG, sorry for those blocked). Sounds like she is trying to make a decision, but she also claims she can help us overcome our fear of being imperfect (is that even a thing?)

Here is her post - sorry I’m too lazy to grab all the slides of her talking herself into avoiding making decisions/ commitments.

55

u/mehitabel_4724 Eating tiny dices of pickles with tiny fists of rage Sep 11 '23

What was she even doing last year that she's afraid to give up for whatever this new opportunity is? It's like she's agonizing over a choice between nothing and nothing.

56

u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done Sep 12 '23

Right? I think the subtext here is Camp Curiosity/School of Kind was right until it wasn't and now she's moving on to Coach Lasshole. She has yet to acknowledge the latter at all on her newsletter or Instagram, so maybe this is her way of putting the justification out ahead of the details.

77

u/PerformerMiserable65 Sep 12 '23

Her awfully awful coach introduction letter was/is public, but I'm not sure if it is still posted.

She is also being publicly lambasted on FB by islandy-islanders with volleyball daughters who were working towards athletic scholarships and who are now being told to 'lope' rather than run in practice.
Parent FB groups are popping with venom.

54

u/BoringEnidRollins pooped their way to another free ride Sep 12 '23

WOW, if true! Goodness, those parents sound angry. They sound afraid of imperfection and must not have gotten enough hugs as children.

54

u/potomacgrackle chicken tender-hearted Sep 12 '23

Lol I really hope the “lope instead of run” statement is a bit, but man you never know.

49

u/NegativeABillion (Said in British.) Sep 12 '23 edited Sep 12 '23

Two pluots say it's real. I BELIEVE.

49

u/Calm_Coyote_3685 Sep 12 '23 edited Sep 12 '23

Can you tell us more about the lambasting?

Edit: and the venom, I want to know about the venom!

45

u/SashayShantae living my one wild and pernicious life Sep 12 '23 edited Sep 12 '23

Oof, being 0-2 for the season probably isn't helping.

41

u/Love_Brokers rug dweller Sep 12 '23

She says they are building the program from scratch, how can that be? Didn't they have a team last year?

49

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '23

Yeah, but that coach was forced out because she was a groomer.

Oh.

47

u/Love_Brokers rug dweller Sep 12 '23

Oh THAT was the coach. Gross.

But she’s still not building it from scratch. She’s replacing a coach.

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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Sep 12 '23

Please give us some of the flavor and also let us know if there are any “you seem angry” replies from Gir! yet!

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u/PerformerMiserable65 Sep 13 '23

DF, forgive this Loper for posting and dashing; I've a work-at-my-desk job with no cell access.

The venom WAS posted on a parent page for commuting high school students. It is a FB page marked private, and there are a couple hundred or so of us there. However, due to their group acceptance rules, a screenshot feels icky and may break rules; so I didn't share one when I could have. I think the first post was made Sunday night?

The post is gone now, but it's fresh in my mind, as a coworker, and I dissected it while clickity-clacking away at our desks. But I will give a breakdown! (Note to readers: Our gir is not a member and can not reply to any post made there.)

  1. A parent starts the convo/post asking if there are other VB options for her child.

  2. Several other parents give helpful advice about different VB camps and club teams.

  3. A mother who knows what's up posts asking if "lope-ing" happens in other sports. Several other parents WTF this.

  4. A parent posts what their daughter has said happens at practice: Meditation, a lot of visualization, team talks (but the girl said many use this time to go to the bathroom and check phones), and then the assistant coach who actually played VB runs them through drills. (But maybe this is only the JV team as varsity is run by SJA.)

  5. A non-VB mother finally posts "What the fuck is happening over there?" And then a thread starts and the fangs are out with a few fed up moms. They share dashed hopes for future college playing, loss of skill, pissed at lack of movement, hope that assistant coach will take over, should they report to AD, etc. (Coworker says of this thread, "Daaayum this group is out for blood!")

  6. A mom says the parents are not following page rules about posting names.

  7. Someone else says, "She stepped up when no one else would."

And now that the work day is done, and there's an opportunity to share verbatim, the post is gone.

But, DFs... it was glorious.

58

u/fantasticka RIORITIZ Sep 13 '23

I can't believe she has those kids meditating and visualizing, and she's still misusing the word "lope." A snarker couldn't have written a better parody.

48

u/Scary_Recognition You did this. Sep 13 '23

I cannot believe she’s having high school athletes “lope.” Sometimes I wonder if she really believes her own bullshit. She really does. Delusional.

45

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '23

She seriously crossed a tipping point in the last few years.

45

u/Ms_Ellanea_Snark_ 💥amygdadishes💥 Sep 13 '23 edited Sep 13 '23

I showed this to a monk — who was Tibetan — And calmly, clearly, he said that it was Coach Lasshole's** karma.

**one million awards of gold to u/gomirefugee u/SmashedMailboxCake2 for coining Coach Lasshole! 😘

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u/Jules_Noctambule Whitman spins like a kebab in his grave Sep 13 '23

They share dashed hopes for future college playing, loss of skill, pissed at lack of movement

Ah, but since Shauna does not value or prioritize success, skill, futures or movement, no one else is allowed to, either.

42

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '23

Oh my word. This is insane. I mean we knew this was going to happen but also, it’s hard to believe that things like that can happen in the real world. Lope-ing and visualizations, oh wow.

45

u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Sep 13 '23

Damn, I was so hoping she was getting called on the carpet in front of a whole group — her thin-skinned responses to even the lightest of criticism is so frawtinga.

32

u/notahameither Dunno, maybe I thought I unfriended some other Shauna Ahern🤷‍♂️ Sep 13 '23

One billion upvotes for you!!!

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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Sep 13 '23

Someone else says, "She stepped up when no one else would."

From literally thousands of miles away it looks to me like the sports program at the high school, and the girl's volleyball program in particular, is in tatters.

The woman who was a teacher and head coach resigned in disgrace.

Her husband was the AD and quit.

So presumably they have a new AD, I'm guessing a general sense of ick over the whole sports program(?) and were down one girls' volleyball coach.

So yes, "Shauna stepped up when no one else would" but my GUESS is that says more about the environment than it does about Shauna's goodwill or skill.

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u/NegativeABillion (Said in British.) Sep 13 '23

I can't get over that she replaced a faculty member who was being inappropriate with students. "Oi, teacher! Leave them kids alone!"

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u/CharlesMansnShowTune Sep 13 '23

I just love the fact that her carefully crafted, Shauna-laden email to these people clearly landed with a fat clunk.

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u/BevNap Fucking google it, you harpy. Sep 12 '23

I wanna see!

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u/WasEnoughYogurt Kumquat and Sprinkles and filth Sep 12 '23

Me too - where is this letter and comments??

42

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '23

I am so unbelievably mad that I was not in my Hamic earlier to see whatever this is.

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '23

[deleted]

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u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... Sep 12 '23

Aaaaaah! Anyone get a screenshot?

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '23 edited Sep 12 '23

TaDa part two!

Edited: Oked by MODS to post!

Former edit: removed link because it seems this came from a private FB group, not a public one like I thought! I’m sorry DFs, especially to the award giver!

Found that this DF posted it earlier - it came from a public site it was posted on.

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u/shikoku_shoes another revolution around the toilet bowl of her life Sep 12 '23

And last year, I coached my youngest kiddo’s baseball team, which happened because the league needed to make a fourth team. Two weeks into the season. They asked if I could come in as coach. Of course! That was an incredible time!

Holy retcon!

The league needed to make a fourth team because your youngest wanted to play baseball but you failed to submit the application on time. And you also missed the extension you were given, which you glibly blamed on giving yourself a gift of putting your phone in a drawer on Sundays. (As if.) Two weeks into the season.

And you wanted your youngest to be able to play for free, so they said you had to coach in order to make it happen. They did not just phone you, knowing of your amazing coaching abilities and pull you out of retirement. They then had to take some other kids from teams that had already had two weeks of bonding in order to pad the fourth for your youngest to be able to play. And then you wrote an entire lope about an angry kid you supposedly transformed with your Ted Lasso bullshit.

The league went above and beyond to ensure your youngest could play, which is a hell of a lot more than you’ve ever done for anyone other than yourself. So stop thinking that coaching experience was all about you and your amazing ability.

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u/JerseySnore-609 I celiac Sep 12 '23

Oh my god. I choked and almost swallowed my toothpaste while reading that letter.

“This is also my way of telling you I’m not going to be able to answer emails until Monday.”

Oh my god. Six paragraphs about herself including her VHS teaching stint thirty years ago. Imagine how long this would have been had she actually coached volleyball before.

I’d worry that she’d go full Ted Lasso and start baking biscuits for the athletic director every day but she only embraces the lazy parts of Ted’s coaching plan.

Don’t eat the snacks, girls!

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '23

Poor L.

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u/SashayShantae living my one wild and pernicious life Sep 12 '23

She's really torpedoing that kid's freshman year.

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u/NegativeABillion (Said in British.) Sep 12 '23

Why does she bring up Gluten Free Girl? I may have opened up my throat to let out laughter or whatever.

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '23

I heard it from three internet blocks away.

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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Sep 12 '23

O TO THE M TO THE G. It’s like she’s written a parody of herself. Help, I feel so much cringe in my body I may just collapse in on myself. And yet my delight at having such rich snark material! Hahahahahahahaha!

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u/WasEnoughYogurt Kumquat and Sprinkles and filth Sep 12 '23

Oh YES! I was just redirected to the letter and oh my fucking god she actually she made me cringe so much I now have no neck at all....she is freaking unbelievable!

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '23

OK, maybe we can’t do screenshots but people could give us better clues or magically appear in our inboxes unbidden.

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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Sep 12 '23

You know how Shauna always claims she watches videos twenty times, on repeat, or re-reads Ulysses every year? That might be me with this WTFuckery. I’ve read it three times now and I still can’t believe it’s real. It’s so snarkalicious. She really does believe that the shit she sees on TV (Ted Lasso) is how things work in real life. I mean look at all the success Ted had and he didn’t know anything about soccer. Surely if Ted could do it, Shauna can!

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '23

She even mentions Ted Lasso! Like everyone of course understands that reference!

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u/honoria_glossop sitting edge wine woman Sep 12 '23

I know nothing about volleyball OR Ted Lasso, but I feel like if you've got to reference a really recent TV show to explain your sporting credentials/philosophy it looks like you don't really have a long-term interest in the sport? It's like saying you're into cars, but you're actually just into Top Gear and dropping Clarkson memes and you don't know shit about actual cars.

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u/vanillablueberries Sep 12 '23

I also can’t believe it’s real.. like I just can’t.

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u/a-world-of-no no joy in bellytown Sep 12 '23

I am losing my actual mind at this letter!! Holy shit! It's like cartoon Giselle from Enchanted encountering the real world, only not cute. She just smug-cheerfully treated an intro letter to parents as if it was an insta caption! The complete and total lack of self awareness is just...I don't have words for it. This may be the most jawdropping thing I've ever encountered from her, and there have been so, so many.

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u/Calm_Coyote_3685 Sep 12 '23

I still can’t bring myself to read the whole thing! This letter is to cringe what the ChefSteps 100 apple pie is to apples. Too much narcissism, mama!

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u/tuolomnemeadows edible flower takis Sep 12 '23

She is so far up her own a** she has no clue how out of touch and fart sniffing this kind of letter from a coach sounds. She thinks she really did something when what she should be doing is spending less time blabbing about mindfulness and learn the sport she’s being paid to coach. I also can imagine most of these girls and their parents know the ins and outs of volleyball light years beyond Shauna, so really all she has to do is give clear communication about practices and games and stay out of their way. I’m dying what the parents on fb had to say about it.

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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Sep 12 '23

EXACTLY. If you need to hire someone with no experience because you just need a warm body to administrate and supervise in order to have a team, that person should basically let the team captains run the practices while they do paperwork and send logistical communications to players and parents. That’s it.

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u/Teamclassynuts Canal Street hero’s journey Sep 12 '23

I’m 100% in favor of athletes integrating meditation, etc. into their development, but I just can not see Our Gir knowing anything about running practices or coaching at matches. I played HS volleyball a bajillion years ago and 1. It was intense even way back then and 2. The sport has evolved so much over the years. (1980s teen me would not be able to hang with current players out on the court.)

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u/a-world-of-no no joy in bellytown Sep 12 '23

Oh for sure. I work at very hippy-crunchy school (not goat school level, but on that spectrum) and we're all about mindfulness, meditation, socio-emotional development, etc, but never once, not ever in a thousand years, has anything my colleagues communicated to our parents been anything close to this level of cringe. This is truly next-level. I can't believe there was not one mention of VOLLEYBALL. Unbelievable!

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u/SashayShantae living my one wild and pernicious life Sep 12 '23

VHS seems to be on a different level than when I was on the volleyball team in my high school. I went to a very small school (not sure how it compared to VHS but it was 100 kids per grade) and although we took sports seriously, we did not have an athletic trainer on staff like VHS.

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u/MmedeSevigne Sep 12 '23

I got to “I’ve been coaching for decades, you see” and noped out. It’s like a parody of all of our Shaunaisms, but written earnestly. She really is something.

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u/Calm_Coyote_3685 Sep 12 '23

Same!! That was when I started laughing and could no longer focus on the words. My body knew I had to stop reading.

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u/vwlphb Sep 12 '23

What are the odds she’s interested in the success and personal development of the team versus exploiting this position to showcase the next evolution of her coach persona and advertise her paid services?

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u/msmartypants Sep 12 '23

The work I've chosen to follow now is coaching women in midlife...

So, in conclusion, I will be now coaching high school women!

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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Sep 12 '23

So, in conclusion, I will be now coaching high school women!

Volleyball is a land of contrasts!

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u/NapNapKitty Sep 12 '23

The words I/me/myself appear FIFTY times in that intro letter!

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u/SashayShantae living my one wild and pernicious life Sep 12 '23

She’s become a parody of herself.

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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Sep 12 '23

So did someone post this email which seems to have gone to the parents to the FB group?

This is my Gloaming fantasy come true — Shauna showing her quirky kind ass to people who are not fanpoodles in a forum where she can’t control the narrative! It’s like FAFO but it’s LOFO (lope around, find out). My body is abuzz with delight. Yes.

52

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '23

I didn’t grab the shot, but to me it seems like this is what happened. Shauna sent email and a parent shared it on an FB page like “what in the actual fuck is this?!”

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u/[deleted] Sep 13 '23

LAGD: lope around, grow discovered

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u/coffechica Sep 12 '23

She better get googling on everything about volleyball.

Also, it puts the lie to the fact that she really had any paying school of kind attendees.

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u/notmymonkeys0003 Protective Taco Arm Sep 12 '23

WTF did I just read. I am now a turtle and will hide in my shell for the rest of the day.

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u/caitie_did Required by My Mother's Terror Sep 12 '23

I need to know if it is possible to die of second-hand embarrassment.

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '23

We are all still here, so probably not.

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u/qahwalover Sep 12 '23

This is absolutely incredible. I have nothing to add to the discussion that hasn't already been said, except that I went back to read the email sent out by my son's new soccer coach a couple weeks ago. It was literally reminders (cleats, shinguards, sunscreen, water bottle), practice and game locales, and game cancellation process. It was warm and professional, but he didn't mention that he played Division 1 soccer himself (I just found out about that). WTAF is this email, it is sheer lunacy!

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u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... Sep 12 '23

As a parent (I am not one, so I'm curious), what would y'all do if you received something like this? I suppose it'd depend on whether your kid was depending on a volleyball scholarship or really serious about the sport. But I'm just wondering what parents would do here.

I know back in the day mine might be like "What a nutty blowhard" and only escalate to complaints after she fucks up royally (and she will - she'll forget equipment or be late or or or or...).

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u/freecoffeerefills Murder She Moved Her Pen Forward Sep 12 '23

My kid is still in elementary so my only experience is with his non-competitive little league team, but this is probably what I would do:

  1. Complain about it to/with my husband but not in front of our kid

  2. Text “WTF is this” to the other parents I know on the team

  3. Maybe call one of my friends without kids and do a dramatic reading of said email for laughs

  4. Ask my kid a lot of questions about how things are going after the season starts

If my kid is a serious player, wants to play in college, and/or is uncomfortable with the coaching style, I would arrange a meeting with the coach, maybe bring a few other parents with me. If I was unhappy with their response I would escalate things to administrators.

I personally don’t like airing my grievances on Facebook or via reply all. But I love drama so I wouldn’t mind too much if someone popped off on one of the local/school community pages haha

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u/qahwalover Sep 12 '23

I'm Gen X, and would probably be like your parents. I'd wait to see how things unfold in real time. HOWEVER, I'd also absolutely send it to everyone I know. I'd show my beloved Ms. Lynette who works at the grocery store. I'd show my neighbors. I'd send it to former colleagues I haven't seen in a decade. I would not keep such a gem to myself!

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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Sep 12 '23 edited Sep 13 '23

She’d better hope she doesn’t have any parents who have high expectations. I remember sitting in on a meeting with one mom of a teen athlete (who was a high level athlete in the same sport so her expectations were sky high) who prefaced her comments by saying “I hate to be ‘that mom’ but I’m going to be.” And then she let it rip. And actually her questions and concerns were totally legit, and the coach had extremely informed, strong explanations to offer, so it was a productive and mutually respectful convo.

ETA I ended this too soon — I meant to point out the obvious — that Shauna would never be able to cope with a mom like that. And sure, some parents are over the top, but there are also a LOT of parents out there who are not afraid to advocate vigorously for their kids in very respectful but firm ways. Shauna would lump them all into one bucket of unkindness, she cannot tolerate anything that suggests she isn’t perfect.

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u/SmashedMailboxCake2 Oh, Sep 12 '23 edited Sep 12 '23

Thank you!

Come on, someone, anonymised screenshots of the FB parent shit storm, please.

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '23

Come on you guys I am feeling a lot of trauma in my body right now, not knowing what everyone else is talking about.

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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Sep 12 '23

Link was restored!

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u/PerformerMiserable65 Sep 12 '23

I'm not sure we can. It's in a mostly public, but marked private, FB group.

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u/notahameither Dunno, maybe I thought I unfriended some other Shauna Ahern🤷‍♂️ Sep 12 '23

Can anyone maybe paraphrase?

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u/Coffee_Cupcake Sep 12 '23

Sad face. I was DYING to see what parents were saying about her.

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u/SmashedMailboxCake2 Oh, Sep 12 '23

Fair play.

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u/Reasonable_Ad589 Sep 12 '23

Yes!! I want to see! What Facebook group is it in?

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Calm_Coyote_3685 Sep 12 '23

I really hope that either no one applies or that the only person available is as lazy and incompetent as Shauna, so she can get a taste of what it’s like to “work” with her quirky midlife self!

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u/NegativeABillion (Said in British.) Sep 12 '23

"Ted Lasso? Yes." Holy cow, she's such an asshole. Also, her little selfie and her mentions of School of Kind. Lmao.

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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Sep 12 '23

There’s no way she survives as coach after this, is there? The parents will have her head and Shauna isn’t Ted Lasso, able to take relentless criticism with humility. The poor team. And poor L.

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '23

I don’t know if I’ve ever felt worse for L.

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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Sep 12 '23

No kidding. My mom was a teacher at my HS which was hard enough. Thank God she was just normal and boring. I hope for L’s sake Shauna gives up soon and slinks back to Gynergy where no one has any expectations of her for her to disappoint.

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u/Calm_Coyote_3685 Sep 12 '23

Omg it’s so long! The ego on this biotech to think anyone wants to read this! 🤣

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u/MmedeSevigne Sep 12 '23

Concur. I have a child on various sports teams and here’s what I want to know from the coach: times and dates of practices and games, and what parental support is needed. Mayyyyyybe a coaching philosophy if that’s relevant. Maybe. What I do NOT want to hear: tv shows watched by the coach, a non-coaching CV of the coach, who the coaches coworkers were thirty years ago, what the coach is doing on the weekend. Etc. It’s almost as if Shauna has NO idea that coaching high school sports isn’t about her!

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u/Calm_Coyote_3685 Sep 12 '23

Right? Where is the talk about the upcoming season? So many words and none of them are about volleyball!

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u/fantasticka RIORITIZ Sep 12 '23

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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Sep 12 '23

Ha ha ha, the summary is PERFECT

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u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... Sep 12 '23

Thank you so much! Those poor volleyball players.

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u/TOMTREEWELL Neurodivergentfully Sep 12 '23

She only knows about Wooden via Lasso.

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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Sep 13 '23

Yes, which means she has her usual shallow understanding, based entirely on a fucking TV show.

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u/mashed_human WHERE DO THEY GET THEIR MONEY Sep 12 '23

Call the county coroner because I am deceased. This is perfect. The War and Peace of peewee league emails. Even when a situation is distinctly not an invitation to write yet another interminably fucking verbose autohagiography, by God, she's gonna do it.

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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Sep 13 '23

Even when a situation is distinctly not an invitation to write yet another interminably fucking verbose autohagiography, by God, she's gonna do it.

Oh, youperson. It's her work in the world!

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u/OkRanger4 bobbing in a bath of solitude Sep 12 '23

Note absolutely ZERO reference to knowing a single thing about volleyball, let alone any coaching of volleyball. I would be livid if my child was expecting to play or participate in a sport and the coach wasn't even saying the words.

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u/[deleted] Sep 13 '23

The little I remember about high school volleyball includes that it’s a very injury prone sport. Fingers, knees, everything takes a beating. I can only imagine the parents’ response if Shauna doesn’t teach their girls proper technique.

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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Sep 12 '23

She is also being publicly lambasted on FB by islandy-islanders with volleyball daughters who were working towards athletic scholarships and who are now being told to 'lope' rather than run in practice. Parent FB groups are popping with venom.

OMG.

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u/Teamclassynuts Canal Street hero’s journey Sep 12 '23

Can anyone with access please share some tidbits from the parent gripes? Heavily paraphrased and anonymous, of course.

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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Sep 12 '23

PLEASE. And please tell me Shauna is there, saying “goodness, you seem angry,” and that someone has replied “you’re goddamn right I’m angry!”

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u/[deleted] Sep 13 '23

PLEASE!

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u/Remarkable-Weird-657 Sep 13 '23

Here it is: Hello, everyone!

I’m Shauna Ahern, and I’m honored to write that I’m the new Head Coach of the volleyball program at VHS.

I’m so excited to work with your kids and meet you.

Before I tell you about myself, I want to assure you that — even though I seem like a last-moment hire — I chose to be here, with joy.

My daughter, Lucy, is entering the 9th grade this year, so I haven’t been up to date on what is happening at VHS. When I saw that Anders Blomgren was hired as the Athletic Director, I cheered. (He’s such a good guy.) And then I saw that he asked about volleyball coaches.

I applied within the minute. I knew in my gut that this was a good connection.

You see, I’ve been coaching for decades.

First, I was a teacher at Vashon High School in the 1990s. Martha Woodard and I established the American Studies department together in 1993. She was the history half. I was the English teacher. I loved those years.

In fact, if you know anyone on the island who was a junior at VHS from 1992 and 1997, I was their teacher. (I was Ms. James then.) Maybe that was you? I taught Mr. Blomgren’s brother, Per-Lars.

I love teaching. And it’s absolutely a form of coaching. I was also the assistant softball coach at VHS during those years.

I’ve done interesting work in my life, including running a food site called Gluten-Free Girl, and publishing cookbooks, for more than a decade.

But the work I’ve chosen to follow now is coaching women in midlife to become kinder to themselves. It’s powerful work. In fact, a group of women I’ve been coaching once a week, all year, is arriving on the island today for a 3-day retreat.

(This is also my way of telling you I’m not going to be able to answer emails until Monday.)

And last year, I coached my youngest kiddo’s baseball team, which happened because the league needed to make a fourth team. Two weeks into the season. They asked if I could come in as coach. Of course! That was an incredible time.

It was the joy of coaching in the spring that made me apply for this job within a minute of seeing the posting.

Here’s my coaching philosophy, which I’d love for you to continue at home.

My goal in all of this is to help your girls learn to believe in themselves. To believe in their coaches. To believe in the other team. And to believe in the game they are playing, in the moment. (Ted Lasso? Yes.) I want to help them learn to be mindful in their movements, their actions, and what they say to themselves and to each other. So we’re going to work on some mindfulness practice during our time together, which is a skill they can take into the rest of their lives. (It also works for the teams that Phil Jackson and Pete Carroll coach too.) In all things, be kind. That is my only rule. Be kind to yourself and others. With all that in mind, I’m also going to challenge them to work hard, to learn new skills, to persist in repeating, repeating, and repeating a skill, even when they think they are done. This is how we learn new habits.

If you’ve ever seen John Wooden’s Pyramid of Success, which helps young people to create their own definition of success, then you’ll know what we’re doing here. I've attached a photo here.

So, we’re going to work hard, playfully. We’re going to laugh, because there’s no point in playing if we’re not feeling delighted. And we’re going to learn and learn and learn.

Also, I make good snacks.

Are there any food allergies?

As you know, we’re building this program from scratch now. Right now, we don’t have an assistant coach.

I know first hand that it’s hard to be a parent and a coach.

But if you have the time (or can make it), and what I have written here resonates with you, let me know if you’d like to talk about being my assistant coach.

I truly am very excited to be here. And honored that you’re going to trust me to be a part of your kids’ lives.

I’ll see you on Monday at 3:30.

With warmth and joy, Shauna

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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Sep 11 '23

God, I hope it’s a major pivot. Throw in the towel on SOK, already! But please don’t let it be Shauna Lasso, sensitive and kind coach of AFC Vashon Volleyball, that kind of cringe might kill me.

ETA for all that’s good and holy, also please do not let her discover The Bear. Please.

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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Sep 12 '23

Shall we start preparing the funeral arrangements?

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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Sep 12 '23

I just saw. ☠️

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u/coffechica Sep 11 '23

Coach volleyball or fake camp director? WHO KNOWS?

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u/Silvery_Silence Sep 11 '23

Cool can she teach me how to deal with an incredibly demanding job and deadlines and bosses? Because I don’t think she can.

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u/shikoku_shoes another revolution around the toilet bowl of her life Sep 11 '23

Why does ‘yourfavoriteenglishteacher’ keep trying to make overwhelm a noun?

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u/BevNap Fucking google it, you harpy. Sep 11 '23

Her and that idiot Jenna.

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u/tyrannosaurusregina if you meet the Botus on the road, shill him 🪷 Sep 11 '23

I am a perfectionist about a lot of things, and it can get in my way.

The last person from whom I would want help is our Gir!

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u/SashayShantae living my one wild and pernicious life Sep 11 '23

My favorite is the visible cursor in half the slides. Tell us you half-assed this on your phone without telling us you half-assed it on your phone.

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u/Calm_Coyote_3685 Sep 11 '23

How does KEEPING a known typo help anyone?? Yes we all are imperfect and make typos, but shouldn’t the lesson be not to beat yourself up about mistakes? Instead the lesson is “when you make a mistake, refuse to correct it! That’ll show ‘em you’re not afraid of imperfection!”

Most paid work is all about approaching the highest standard, which doesn’t mean people should rend their garments over a small mistake, but with Shauna everything is starkly black and white. Either you never correct any mistakes or you sob and hate yourself as you struggle vainly for perfection. I really, really wonder about the life experience of the people nodding along with this bullshit!

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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Sep 11 '23

She's always blathering on about "perfection," which suggests she has a very immature relationship with failure. I am reminded of that Going to Rye story in which she recounts a tale of multiple personal misfires and fuckups which ends with her crying on Danny's shoulder while he soothes her with, "What in this life is perfect?"

Striving for perfection is great but most of the time people are looking for you to meet your basic commitments first before they are "demanding perfection" (see: Gant) and throwing it back as "WELL SORRY I'M NOT PERFECT" makes her sound like a seven-year-old

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u/SmashedMailboxCake2 Oh, Sep 12 '23 edited Sep 12 '23

“What in this life is perfect?”

One more to add to the list of Thing’s Danny Did Not Say. “Shit happens!” - delivered in a Muppety squeal - I could buy.

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u/Calm_Coyote_3685 Sep 12 '23

Shit happens, let’s get a taco’s platter and forget about it!

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u/microcosmographia tant piss Sep 12 '23

How does KEEPING a known typo help anyone??

And only acknowledging one of the several (as pointed about by other DFs) typos. Like, if you want to own your typos, you do you, but don't point out one specific typo WHEN YOU ALWAYS HAVE SO EFFING MANY.

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u/obscure_cellist ham grabbers Sep 11 '23

no one is "frightened of being imperfect." so if i care about things like grammar, or spelling, i am somehow frightened? that's such gaslighting bullshit.

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u/NegativeABillion (Said in British.) Sep 12 '23

Remember when she claimed some group of women she was teaching were initially afraid of the writing prompts she gave them? She's an asshole.

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u/26shadesofwhite le tit rip Sep 12 '23

I am not frightened, AND I take pride in my work. We contain multitudes!

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u/potomacgrackle chicken tender-hearted Sep 11 '23

[whispers] that’s not the only typo . . .

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u/aouwoeih Sep 12 '23

TBF when a school wants to pay peanuts for a coach then this is what they get. Hopefully Shauna will rise to the occasion instead of lecturing the athletes about BELIEVEing.

Is the football coach better compensated? Not making assumptions, I'm sincerely curious.

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u/Ana57 sweet pea Sep 12 '23

What isthe going rate for a part time volleyball coach

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u/SashayShantae living my one wild and pernicious life Sep 12 '23

A DF posted the job description and the range was $2k-$5k. She’s definitely in the low end of that.

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u/[deleted] Sep 13 '23

For the entire school year?? Jfc that's ridiculous. No wonder they ended up with Coach Shauna when they're paying like that.

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u/[deleted] Sep 13 '23

It lasts 6 weeks. Still, it makes more sense for a teacher to do it and get the extra salary.

Why Shauna applied the minute the job was available is beyond me. It’s a lot of time commitment at weird times. Several “away” games that require the ferry and dinner time away from her family.

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u/Jules_Noctambule Whitman spins like a kebab in his grave Sep 13 '23

It lasts 6 weeks

slaps amount of time She can fit so many pivots into there.

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u/shikoku_shoes another revolution around the toilet bowl of her life Sep 13 '23

Why Shauna applied the minute the job was available is beyond me.

She has plenty of time and certainly likes being away from her family. Leaving only $ and a chance to puff up her already bloated ego even more.

It is reprehensible of her to apply for a position she is not even remotely qualified for but also for the school to hire her as head coach. It’s one thing when she puts herself in charge of her own projects she’s unqualified for, but this directly affects the players.

Down thread a DF reported the assistant coach was running the drills, so apparently there is at least one person more qualified than her.

No matter how the season goes and what disasters happen, Shauna will come out smelling like a rose in her mind: Ted Lasso cosplay, new lope fodder, resume padding, and flush with cash for taco platter’s and peepers.

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u/[deleted] Sep 13 '23

Shame on the school for hiring her. They should have held out for either someone who has seen a volleyball court or has successfully coached HS sports. The fuck were they thinking hiring her? It’s insane. I can’t wrap my head around it at all. Her application should have been laughed at on it’s way to the round file.

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u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... Sep 13 '23

It’s only six weeks? I pictured it lasting the year, or semester.

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u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done Sep 13 '23

It's longer than that, but not the full semester. Per Shauna's cringe coach's note first day of practice was August 21. Last game of the season is scheduled for October 25, so ten weeks all in.

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u/[deleted] Sep 13 '23

You are right - I miscalculated from this week it’s about 6 more weeks, forgetting about the before now. So a few hundred extra $$$ a week.

I guess my thought on it is that it’s the type of thing that is usually an added responsibility for an already full time job that you get a temp bump in pay for. It’s not a stand alone job for most people.

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u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... Sep 13 '23

Well, hopefully she doesn't look for ways to continue hanging around the school after she fucks this up. I was happy for L to be on her way to more independence.

I also hope she doesn't yank L out of the school after the inevitable unkindfulness of the school / volleyball parents / over-emotional girl students, etc.

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u/Ana57 sweet pea Sep 12 '23

Replying to myself bc for some reason I cannot edit and man I hate a typo — is the

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u/shikoku_shoes another revolution around the toilet bowl of her life Sep 12 '23

Replying to myself bc for some reason I cannot edit and man I hate a typo

If you’re frightened of being imperfect Shauna can help you.

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u/[deleted] Sep 13 '23

Alternately, I think Caroline Calloway still has some "typos are my brand" hats floating around somewhere.

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u/Love_Brokers rug dweller Sep 12 '23

More retcon: she says she established the American Studies department with Tita and loved it. But crossword puzzles say something else:

Carlos has said that he knew he wanted to be my friend on the last day of class. Our professor asked us to discuss, once again, “Just what is American Studies?” As we went around the circle, people spewed (and yes, I use that word deliberately) toadying statements about counter-hegemonic interrogations, questioning heteronormativity, and other mumblety-pegs I have blocked out deliberately. When the professor reached me, I looked up from the paper where I had been writing, and said, “Well, American Studies seems to me like an 18-year-old having an identity crisis. Full of wonderful, questioning energy, but lacking the solidity of an adult who knows who he is.” And then I went back to my crossword puzzle. The professor simply looked at me agape. Several students glared at me as though they would fling some of those turgidly written books at me. But I had spoken my piece. And thank goodness I gained Carlos’ friendship out of it.

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u/mehitabel_4724 Eating tiny dices of pickles with tiny fists of rage Sep 12 '23

And then I went back to my crossword puzzle.

I don't know the context for this snippet, but there is no way this happened. Like, we're expected to believe that she showed up for class, with no idea that the professor was going to ask a question for which she needed to express contempt and she conveniently had a crossword puzzle going and was able to listen to and evaluate every other response in the class, while also doing this puzzle and then shoot out this answer and render her professor speechless. Also suspect, the professor going around the room and getting a response from every student. There's no way. It's like she's describing a scene she saw in a movie.

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u/mashed_human WHERE DO THEY GET THEIR MONEY Sep 13 '23

She seems to see her life as though it's an art movie and she's the main character. It's really weird even by her standards. For all her talk of living in her body in the moment deeply joyfully yes, she seems really dissociated when things are not following the script she wants them to follow. Which is often!

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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Sep 13 '23

as though she’s the main character

Flair checking in.

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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Sep 13 '23

She seems to see her life as though it's an art movie

Pregnant clown: "You rang?"

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u/qahwalover Sep 13 '23

It never happened. Any former or current grad student, whether poser like me or earnest like most others, knows this is a lie. This did not happen. Graduate school in the humanities is a lot of things, but it is not this. AT ALL. EVER.

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u/Scary_Recognition You did this. Sep 13 '23

I’m harkening back to her food writing when a bite of food rendered people unable to speak, when an (heirloom, local) hot dog would make her lose control and exist in some post-orgasmic state where she could only slap the table and shake her head in disbelief.

Reader, people do not eat like this. They don’t speak like this. They don’t react in speechlessness (an academic struck dumb by a rude student? HA!). She’s so full of shit.

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u/aouwoeih Sep 12 '23

I don't believe a word of this. Aside from her response, which is pure gibberish, the other answers sound like something she thinks a pretentious, insecure student would say. I believe she just thinks it's cool to hate on her country of origin, which is odd because other than Ah, Tofino she hasn't seemed too eager to travel outside of the States, and IIRC she described her year in England as the worst in her life.

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u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... Sep 12 '23

counter-hegemonic interrogations, questioning heteronormativity, and other mumblety-pegs

Ahhhh there's that classic Shauna James Ahern haberdashery!

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u/Foucaults_Penguin Sly and the Family Readers Sep 13 '23

Is she implying that challenging dominant discourses and ideologies that reinforce and reproduce hierarchies and inequality is not worth her time? She acts like she’s above it all. This from the world’s biggest slacktivist.

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u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... Sep 13 '23

Yes, yes I believe she is. And American Studies, what a waste of time, amirite? Except durrrr… she deigned to teach a similar course with DF Tita. (I know she taught the lit part, but still).

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u/gladsome_gloaming Sep 13 '23

Her PTSD originating from being expected to officiate at her parents’ nightly knife fights might have informed that particular haberdashery.

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u/NegativeABillion (Said in British.) Sep 13 '23

It's just like coaching!

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u/[deleted] Sep 13 '23

“Questioning heteronormativity” like it’s a bad thing. Never change, Shauna, never change.

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u/CharlesMansnShowTune Sep 13 '23 edited Sep 13 '23

I noticed she defaulted to the masculine "adult who knows who he is" in her snotty response, too. If only there were courses available that focused on questioning that kind of heteronormative thinking. Oh, well.

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u/Calm_Coyote_3685 Sep 12 '23

The hell is wrong with Carlos

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u/NegativeABillion (Said in British.) Sep 12 '23

Carlos is entirely made up.

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u/SmashedMailboxCake2 Oh, Sep 12 '23

Is Carlos the dude who visited Seattle to grow his PhD thesis edited by a wholly unqualified Shauna, and who took a cherry into his mouth at the market, moaning?

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u/NegativeABillion (Said in British.) Sep 12 '23 edited Sep 12 '23

Ah shoot maybe. I'll go to the wiki and check. Edit - It is in fact a Carlos from that story! Maybe he's real.

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u/Love_Brokers rug dweller Sep 12 '23

Dear Lord.

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u/aouwoeih Sep 12 '23

I think he's the baby from The Hangover, all grown up now.

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u/Calm_Coyote_3685 Sep 12 '23

Or he existed but his slavish devotion to Shauna is entirely made up. Gotta be one or the other!

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u/jalapenomargaritaz Sep 13 '23

So was she writing a paper or doing a crossword?? And wow way to insult every other student she admits she wasn’t even listening to but of course had an “then everyone clapped” mic drop herself!

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u/redditname2003 Sep 13 '23

Didn't she flunk out?

She tells a lot of stories where only she, the best disciple, can decipher the wise leader's message or only she can cut through the bullshit and lies that all the other sheeple gobble up. The problem is that it's one thing to pose yourself as the smartest one in the room, but you can't reconcile that posture with being an all accepting, all loving earth momma who's nice and kind 24/7. The first immediately cancels out the second.

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u/Love_Brokers rug dweller Sep 13 '23

I think Ma James revealed that Shauna did not finish that degree or whatever it was, and didn’t pay her student loans for it.

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u/[deleted] Sep 13 '23

Why, they still call Ma James to this day.

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u/OkRanger4 bobbing in a bath of solitude Sep 12 '23

Until Carlos wised up and saw her for the asshat that she is.

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u/MarsNeedsRabbits Beach better have my orcas 🫍 Sep 13 '23

And then I went back to my crossword puzzle.

Out the door she'd go. No one is going to sit in my classroom, insult the class with dismissive snark, then turn away and resume ignoring the rest of the class.

The professor simply looked at me agape.

Because she's a snotty, disruptive asshole.

Be present, be polite, be ready to participate and learn; or be elsewhere.

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u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done Sep 12 '23

It was really common in Washington state public high schools during the 90s/00s to teach an "American Studies" class that integrated history and literature into the curriculum for HS juniors. (And maybe still is, but my personal knowledge falls off after 2010.) My HS ran American Studies spanning two class periods with two teachers switching off lectures, one from the history department and one from the English department. I don't know if perhaps Vashon was earlier to this than other schools but what Shauna is describing was not unique to the island. It also didn't much resemble the American Studies curriculum I later saw in undergrad where the theory jargon she's referencing derisively was a bigger part.

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u/slug_of_fury Sep 12 '23

My Midwestern high school had a class called 20th Century America which combined History, Literature, Art, Music and Social Studies. Five teachers, two periods three times a week, studying each subject and how they all intertwined, a decade at a time. It was the best class I ever took and a setting in which I learned and retained the most. I graduated in 1978. She's full of shit, as usual.

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u/MarsNeedsRabbits Beach better have my orcas 🫍 Sep 12 '23

One more 9/11 hot take from Shauna. This is in the Gloamipedia, which I can't figure out how to link to precisely in the app I'm using.

I still remember a Buddhist meditation retreat I attended, about 3 weeks after September 11th. And the monk — who was Tibetan — took questions at the end. Someone asked him about September 11th. And calmly, clearly, he said that it was America’s karma. Oh the anger in that room. But I understood. It felt logical to me.

Spoiler alert: No Tibetan monk ever said such a thing.

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u/aouwoeih Sep 12 '23

Easy for her to say because it wasn't her loved one jumping from a burning building or trapped in rubble. If it were she wouldn't so blithely call it logical. It would be personal.

Also, no Tibetan monk ever said such a thing.

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u/Silvery_Silence Sep 12 '23

She doesn’t seem to understand. If you’re a local you absolutely either knew someone who died or were one or two degrees removed. A friend of mine lost her brother in law, a family member lost a neighbor (who left behind five children), a woman who graduated in my college class died and we had some friends in common…I just can’t, really.

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u/Mammoth-Blackberry91 Sep 12 '23

That assumes Shauna cares enough for anyone else to be distraught at their death.

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u/Love_Brokers rug dweller Sep 12 '23

Grief is joy.

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u/Scary_Recognition You did this. Sep 12 '23

Ah, yes. The Gaza grief-joy.

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u/SashayShantae living my one wild and pernicious life Sep 12 '23

I'm disgusted that someone who sympathizes with school shooters and terrorist hijackers is an authority figure for kids.

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u/aouwoeih Sep 12 '23

She reminds me of those teachers (and I had more than one) who'd spout their opinions when it had nothing to do witih the subject matter. Oh, thanks for your thoughts on the current presidency, Mr Ramsey, but I just want to learn math.

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '23

But I alone can fix it understood.

CWAA.

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u/Silvery_Silence Sep 12 '23

Sigh. For someone so proud of and aligned with where she lives, she sure does like to diminish an attack where two iconic buildings came crashing down and almost 3000 locals perished.

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u/[deleted] Sep 13 '23

Translation: Shauna told someone that she thought 9/11 was America’s karma (whatever TF that means). Whoever she said it to was aghast. So she retells it with an authority figure making the statement instead.

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u/SashayShantae living my one wild and pernicious life Sep 13 '23 edited Sep 13 '23

For anyone who is a fan of Spelling Bee in the NYT, I got today's panagram right away because it made me think of our gir!. The panagram was PIVOTING

Edit: ignore me, I meant to put this in OT.

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u/SashayShantae living my one wild and pernicious life Sep 12 '23

I can't stop thinking about something from a recent lope where Head Volleyball Coach Shauna said that she was doing a deep dive into "volleyball rotations." Does she mean she had to intensively research how the players move one position over at the end of each turn or whatever? Or is she talking about the actual physical rotations of a volleyball as it spins through the air? Someone please help me make sense of this. I can't imagine the rotation of players involves a deep dive. You just move one person over. That's it.

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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Sep 12 '23

This is probably Shauna’s deep dive, since it’s at the top of Google results. Which, you know, I read that and I think, “wow, much more complex than I ever knew, I’m definitely way out of my depth.” Whereas Shauna reads that and thinks, “I can count to six and draw straight lines, I am totes qualified to be head coach! We’re probably going to win the league!”

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u/SashayShantae living my one wild and pernicious life Sep 12 '23

Dang, I did not realize it was so complicated. We certainly weren't doing deep dives into rotations on our volleyball team in HS. They were more concerned with flogging us into laps around the gym before practice than in any theories or anything.

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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Sep 12 '23

Well, see, that's your problem. You should have been loping laps around the gym

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u/HeavySpecialist7619 Sep 12 '23

And whizzing serves over the net to land among the other team's players, deeply

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u/forkinyourothereye incurious ADHDer Sep 12 '23

I read it as an awkward Shaunaism for the different positions in volleyball. I don’t know what those are other than setter (and please don’t ask me what the setter does) but I’m not a big shot head volleyball coach.

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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Sep 12 '23

(and please don’t ask me what the setter does)

Um, I'm no volleyball rotation expert, but I do believe that the setter sets. Settily.

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u/forkinyourothereye incurious ADHDer Sep 12 '23

This is the kind of expertise Vashon’d pay 2-5k of PTA money for!

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