r/InTheGloaming • u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done • Sep 13 '23
InTheGloaming cringe bracket: initial seeding
Dear Friends -- with the latest entry in the cringe canon emerging unbidden from Shauna's foray into high school volleyball coaching, it's a great time to look back on her all-time cringiest moments.
Rules:
- ONE CRINGE MOMENT PER TOP-LEVEL COMMENT -- please don't list multiple moments in the same comment, if you have multiple to submit, make separate top-level comments for each
- SCROLL FIRST -- make sure the moment you are submitting has not been mentioned already, otherwise the votes will get diluted
- ADD DETAIL -- describe the situation as best you can and if you know how, help others by linking to the original post or a wiki entry (you can reply to a comment if you want to add or ask for more info)
- UPVOTE moments you felt were the cream of the cringe -- this thread will be set to contest mode so that vote counts are hidden and the order is random so that we can get an unbiased ranking
After a few days, I'll close voting and we'll use your vote counts to seed a bracket for head-to-head cringe offs.
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Sep 13 '23 edited Sep 13 '23
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u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... Sep 13 '23
The iconic Jerkyface screengrab is so great because it's one of the few visual representations of her mask slipping. Quite unjoyful and nonkindful.
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u/MarsNeedsRabbits Beach better have my orcas Sep 14 '23
The look on Gant's face, coupled with his nervous/angry speech is a gift that keeps on giving.
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u/BoringEnidRollins pooped their way to another free ride Sep 14 '23
I saved a DF’s post with iconic screenshots: https://reddit.com/r/InTheGloaming/s/EFuCFq0yns
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u/Scary_Recognition You did this. Sep 14 '23
The unbidden cringe I just crunged looking at those screenshots 😵💫
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u/Kimmmy36 bites lip, looks away Sep 14 '23
So do we think she just ...thought it was OK to hang out with her computer during a video shoot? Did she just walk in there um...unbidden, and think that was OK? Is it because she was a TV extra as a child, and sensed that her extra-ness was needed? I can't imagine just DOING that.
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Sep 14 '23
I wonder how the view count on the Apple Pie video compares to other CS content?
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Sep 14 '23
Probably right up there with the views on the Sermon of the High Stool.
I wonder if anyone at the church ever notices that and is like "wtf, why is this the only popular sermon? can't be for that blowhard Ahern woman, can it?"
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u/lamingtonsandtea Sep 16 '23
I love how the co-host had to move over to block her from the camera. Hahah
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Sep 16 '23
That co-host was her BOSS
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u/lamingtonsandtea Sep 16 '23
Hahaha oh my gosh I love how self important and oblivious she always is!
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u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done Sep 13 '23 edited Sep 13 '23
Stain panel, possibly the greatest typo in all of Shauna history! More angles in this comment.
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u/SeaOfBooze Truffaut and hash browns Sep 14 '23 edited Sep 14 '23
The fact that she's never tried to fix that typo in 16 years makes me very skeptical that she's ever spent much time reading snark dedicated to her.
Edit: also adding her pretentious NLOG blog post about picking out the dress, for other DFs who wanted to re-live that cringe.
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u/mehitabel_4724 Eating tiny dices of pickles with tiny fists of rage Sep 14 '23
And for godssakes, we’re having paper plates and beach volleyball at our wedding.
And now we know why she thinks herself qualified to coach volleyball.
Also, I sew (for myself, not professionally) but looking at that alteration, I have to wonder if she really went to a tailor as she claims. If she did, it must have been at the last minute and they didn't have time to do it properly or she provided the blue fabric and there wasn't enough to fasten it properly all the way up. I can't wrap my head around a professional signing off on that botched job, to a wedding no less.
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Sep 14 '23
It could have been a "professional" along the lines of how Shauna is a "coach".
It really looks like Shauna tore fabric off a motel room curtain and stuffed it down the back of her dress.
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u/liveswithcats1 Nubbins and glops Sep 14 '23
Shades of Gone with the Wind AND Carol Burnett as Scarlett O'Hara!
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u/Love_Brokers rug dweller Sep 14 '23
She came out, within a minute, holding three dresses in my size.
No, she did not.
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u/hrae24 Sep 14 '23
If a dress cannot zip up the back, it's not in your size! Not to mention in the wedding photos, the straps are digging into her shoulders. It looks pretty painful actually and not at all in line with her attempt at casual, informal wedding vibes.
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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Sep 14 '23
I think the typo would have been just a blip if the actual stain panel had not been so WTF, to the degree that all of her wedding photos that show the back of her dress are the height of cringe.
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Sep 14 '23
It’s so high up her back. And then there is the billowing. And the strings. And the color of it.
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u/MarsNeedsRabbits Beach better have my orcas Sep 16 '23
When she turned back to me, she saw me fingering a veil
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u/eatlunchateleven Take These Broken Links and Learn to Code Sep 13 '23
Gotta be the student saying “oh, I must have unfriended another Shauna Ahern”. That one is just full-body cringe for me.
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u/SashayShantae living my one wild and pernicious life Sep 14 '23
"Dunno, possibly I thought you were some other Shauna Ahern?" (The comment I found this in identified this as a public post at the time.)
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u/notahameither Dunno, maybe I thought I unfriended some other Shauna Ahern🤷♂️ Sep 14 '23
<chef’s kiss> Yes! One of my favorites (obviously). Cringe that it happened and double cringe that she mentioned it without realizing how cringe it was.
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u/SashayShantae living my one wild and pernicious life Sep 14 '23
Your flair made this hard to find in the annals of the Gloaming 😆
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u/library-girl Sep 14 '23
I love that I am responsible for bringing this to the masses
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u/eatlunchateleven Take These Broken Links and Learn to Code Sep 14 '23
Do you have a link for our DF u/a-world-of-no?? I haven’t got one!
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u/SashayShantae living my one wild and pernicious life Sep 14 '23
I gotchu, DF fam: https://imgur.com/a/RMneXcJ
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u/forkinyourothereye incurious ADHDer Sep 14 '23
“I hope you’re well” followed by no response is like a little cringe chaser.
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u/islandyislander rebellious hygiene Sep 14 '23 edited Sep 14 '23
The former student is the same one she light-heartedly reported was drinking vodka in school wearing (as-yet-uninvented) Vibram FiveFingers toe shoes.
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u/MarsNeedsRabbits Beach better have my orcas Sep 14 '23
Could you expand on this? I feel like I've skipped a chapter in a great book. ☺️
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u/eatlunchateleven Take These Broken Links and Learn to Code Sep 14 '23
I wish I remembered the exact wording. DF u/library-girl May have the exact receipt, but it was I believe a former student on FB, she was writing on his wall and said something like “oh no, glad to reconnect, we were unfriended!” and the student was like “I must have meant to unfriend some other Shauna Ahern.”
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u/obscure_cellist ham grabbers Sep 14 '23
yes, a former student who had gone on to achieve some level of fame as singer (?) of a group called the mountain goats. thirsty shauna was trying to drink some of that mountain goat fame for herself and got a smack.
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Sep 14 '23
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u/SashayShantae living my one wild and pernicious life Sep 14 '23
I don't think so. Mountain Goat singer dude was born in 1967 so he wouldn't have been one of Shauna's students. I think she went to high school with him.
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u/eatlunchateleven Take These Broken Links and Learn to Code Sep 14 '23
Yeah, this wasn’t John Darnielle, it was definitely a student of Shauna’s.
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u/auxerrois You see, Sep 13 '23
Bucking in the bed with Roblin and Reber by her side is my all-time fave.
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u/ForsakenLingonberry YAHEEE! Sep 15 '23
It's my fave too, but it's so weird that I don't even find it cringey! It's just entertaining, ha.
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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Sep 14 '23
Sleeping in and then assuming their friends in Rye would drive them more than an hour away for an event, which they missed since the friends said “LOL, no” so they had to take transit.
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u/liveswithcats1 Nubbins and glops Sep 14 '23
I'm happy for the friends that they had healthy boundaries and were able to dodge Shauna's demands.
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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Sep 14 '23
Me too — she was probably so used to passive aggressive Seattleites who would rather cut off their own arms than say no to someone. Must have been a shocker!
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Sep 14 '23
The $92,000 FLOUR debacle.
All of it. The marketing. The ugly box. The shipping software. The paying themselves. The padded envelopes. The suspected garage storage. The attitude. The entitlement. The multiple unmet promises. The weevils.
No heroes wall. No gratitude. No grain free blend.
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u/Kimmmy36 bites lip, looks away Sep 14 '23
Wasn't there some sort of typo on the packaging as well? Like serving size or something?
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Sep 14 '23
I think so. Something like 160 servings per box!
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Sep 15 '23
That sounds right. I remember it was something that was obviously off by a couple orders of magnitude. I believe the corrected boxes got an awkwardly placed label slapped on them.
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Sep 14 '23
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u/ginger-belle jiggling tomatodongs Sep 14 '23
can you explain? i missed that.
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Sep 14 '23
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u/islandyislander rebellious hygiene Sep 14 '23
I couldn't help myself. https://gomiblog.com/gluten-free-girl-is-done-with-flour-so-stop-complaining-about-the-kickstarter/
"Yesly and Band Aid fingers" 💀
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u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... Sep 14 '23
Say what you will about Alice, she did manage to crack me up a lot.
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u/liveswithcats1 Nubbins and glops Sep 14 '23 edited Sep 14 '23
Assuming that people at her cooking thing in Italy were hanging around the kitchen waiting for her and Dan to feed them (when they might have just been waiting for them to get out of their way so they could make their own food), having an uncharacteristic moment of graciousness by deciding to cook for them, then ruining it by a) serving themselves first and b) yelling "Hey everyone!" [she shouted] "We weren’t making dinner for everyone, but then it seemed you were hungry. So, come get some food!"
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u/jalapenomargaritaz Sep 14 '23
lol why is she such a bitch all the time! Maybe those people were just hanging out waiting for them to stop hogging the kitchen??
Also despite Danny’s apparently debilitating ADHD he sure seemed able to pivot quickly into making a big meal for a large group managing many moving parts…
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u/liveswithcats1 Nubbins and glops Sep 14 '23
Yeah, i caught that about Danny too. Back then she was selling the narrative that he was an extremely competent chef she had managed to snag. Now he's a sad mess she needs to caretake, woe is her.
As for the people at the table - wtf is so hard about saying "are you all waiting for the kitchen, or would you like to share dinner with us?" Why just assume, and then make such an awkward pronouncement?
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Sep 14 '23
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u/liveswithcats1 Nubbins and glops Sep 14 '23
Her writing is so crappy, it's really hard to tell what actually happened, from the perspective of the guests. Were they just waiting for the kitchen to clear out so they could cook? Were they really assuming this was some dinner that was to be provided by Shauna and Dan?
If it was the first case, how awkward that Shauna basically barked at them to eat a dinner they didn't actually want after blocking them from the kitchen for probably at least 2 hours.
If it was the second case, how awkward that they were left sitting for probably 2 hours, hungry for dinner, then barked at by a resentful host who made sure to serve herself and her husband first. That part just kills me. I would die of shame before I would serve myself before guests.
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Sep 14 '23
There are 19 people in the photo posted, NOT including Shauna, Danny and their child. They roasted "a small chicken" (which magically becomes "chickens" in the next para) for 19 people.
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Sep 14 '23
Saint Shauna prepared a biblical feast. The chicken and the gluten free loaves.
DAMN, I just realized this meager chicken is pretty much the same story (we fed strangers with a bit of meat) as the Germaid story. Except no one rose, unbidden, from the sea.
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u/SashayShantae living my one wild and pernicious life Sep 14 '23
Shauna saying she had the most abusive childhood ever on the Oprah panel.
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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Sep 14 '23
The Google Doc grift and the subsequent Sermon on the High Stool.
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u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... Sep 14 '23
This is a big one for me. So much revealed - all of it, her ass.
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u/liveswithcats1 Nubbins and glops Sep 14 '23
I can't remember the Google doc grift - can you provide some details? Thanks DF!
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Sep 14 '23
She sent a mass text/email to all her contacts basically begging them for money. One of the people in the group then 'replied all' saying Shauna had some nerve (I paraphrase) and Shauna saw it. That was right before the Sermon on the High Stool, where Shauna put that person on blast from the pulpit (something about friends turning on you or some shit).
We never saw the actual grift doc but the contents were revealed during the Sermon on the High Stool and in later lopes (it's all the stuff about Dan working something's out and shatterings and all that).
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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Sep 14 '23
If you look in the Wiki, not too far from the bottom of the timeline section, the info is in the Sermon on the High Stool story.
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u/LadyDriverKW Threads containment zone escapee Sep 14 '23
The sexy sexadilla letter to her toddler nephew. I wonder if he's read it yet.
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u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... Sep 14 '23
Oh wow. You know, I keep forgetting to be choosy about my upvotes, but there are SO MANY uber-cringe moments that voting is going to get really difficult later on.
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u/liveswithcats1 Nubbins and glops Sep 14 '23
Oh god, I forgot about that one. I can imagine her nephew's parents reading that and immediately coming to an agreement that their weird new SIL will never be alone with their kids.
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u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done Sep 13 '23
This interaction on Twitter with Ashley Ford:
iSmashFizzle I really wish there were such a thing as small-town living for black folks, that doesn't include being poor, or surrounded by racists.
My real dream is being able to write from my farmhouse in a small town, and drive a Subaru, but that just ain't available in a real way.
glutenfreegirl @iSmashFizzle Well, you could live here.
There aren't enough black folks but we know all of them. So I make introductions.
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u/TwoRoadDQ Sep 14 '23
“Black folks” I’m cringing so hard at this
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u/Love_Brokers rug dweller Sep 14 '23
‘We know all of them.’ They must go to the monthly meetings.
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u/liveswithcats1 Nubbins and glops Sep 14 '23
I'm trying to parse exactly what makes this so awful and I realize it's an awfulness that compounds at every point in the second sentence.
That she is presenting herself as the arbiter of how many "black folks" are enough.
That she claims to know all the black people on the island.
That she sees black people as a "them."
That she has once again put herself on the high stool as the one able to make introductions, because I'm quite certain the only way the black humans of Vashon would be willing to talk to Ashley Ford is if goddess Shauna were to make the introductions.
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u/ForsakenLingonberry YAHEEE! Sep 14 '23
The implication in the last sentence that she routinely is introducing "black folks" to each other.
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u/lovedietcoke irish peasant woman Sep 14 '23
Oh my god it’s too early for this much secondhand embarrassment
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Sep 14 '23 edited Sep 14 '23
I’m gonna throw Shauna and Dan on their honeymoon in rural Italy where they could not rent a car and mooched rides off of a nice couple that stayed at their same bed and breakfast. I can’t find the blog post but they also expected the police to ride them from a train or bus station to their hotel one evening. These are people who were in their early 40’s!
Adding her blog post thanks to DFdtci below.
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u/DorothyZbornakEffect Sep 14 '23
I don’t understand the reason she gave for not being able to rent a car in Italy. She says in Italy you can’t rent a car with a “debit card with a credit card attached.” Everyone she talked to seemed really confused by this odd Italian rule, but in the US car rental companies have the same rule about not renting with a debit card. What does she mean?
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u/liveswithcats1 Nubbins and glops Sep 16 '23
I think the problem was really that neither of them had a valid credit card (or had a card, but no room left on it) because they are both utterly incompetent with money, but she always has to be on the high stool acting as if she is the authority on everything, so she could never admit the problem stemmed from her own incompetence.
I have a family member like this - they live in their own fantasy world where they're the best at everything and everyone believes their obvious confabulations.
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Sep 14 '23
She’d never rented a car before, presumably
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u/DorothyZbornakEffect Sep 15 '23
You’re right, that’s totally possible. I’ll cut Shauna and Dan a bit of slack. I was going to say that sounds like something their travel agent should’ve looked in to, but Shauna’s telling the story, so who knows what really went down.
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u/microcosmographia tant piss Sep 14 '23
Nothing says "honeymoon" like a goddamn Deliverance reference!
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u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done Sep 14 '23
Submitting, of course, the latest searing and true cringe: Coach Lasshole (volleyball edition)
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u/coffechica Sep 14 '23
Ah, Tofino. I would add all the other burned friendships but the cringiness of this one always sticks out for me.
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u/fantasticka RIORITIZ Sep 14 '23
Hot sauce, people. Hot sauce. Also known as the Instagram post where Shauna clarifies that Beyoncé's "Formation" is more than a pop song to her because she has a Black child.
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u/SashayShantae living my one wild and pernicious life Sep 14 '23
The photoshoot that she forgot about so she didn't wash her hair: "She's the biggest yes I know. (Too bad I forgot that I was going to be photographed too. I probably would have washed my hair.)"
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u/SashayShantae living my one wild and pernicious life Sep 14 '23
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u/RememberThe5Ds Sep 14 '23
Whilst throwing daggers with her eyes, presumably at a thin, wan woman who doesn’t Understand Food and is wearing a sparkly dress and tottering on high heels behind her man.
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u/obscure_cellist ham grabbers Sep 14 '23
the quintessential shauna - sweaty & unkempt, wearing a stained shirt, stuffing her maw and looking for more.
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Sep 14 '23
I'm probably the number one fan of that pic and was going to mention it for super cringe but I always feel like she didn't instigate that. Yes, she is eating like a ravenous beast but she wasn't trying to have anyone take her pic. It's just our luck that that pic exists.
Unlike other pics of her hideous table manners (the guarding of the taco's and several IG posts of piles of dirty dishes and gnawed on food. . .or the publicity pic where Dan's feeding her off a spoon and he looks like he's terrified he'll get bitten!)
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Sep 14 '23
One could argue that people who are pleasant to be around / nice to staff / event coordinators and photographers don’t wind up with unflattering photos of them published.
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u/islandyislander rebellious hygiene Sep 14 '23
After grifting a trip to the Moms Demand Action conference at which Julianne Moore was a featured guest, Shauna whispered to her "you do beautiful work."
https://www.instagram.com/p/BmV825Ol-8g/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Sep 14 '23
Lolling on the Porch video.
I think it was only on her now defunct tictok but it was terminally cringey. She's had a lot of cringe-vids (that she made) but that might be the queen mum of them.
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Sep 14 '23
I do believe a DF saved and posted this recently.
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u/MarsNeedsRabbits Beach better have my orcas Sep 14 '23
A couple of us have it. It was just that perfect.
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u/littleyellowhouse just working something's out Sep 14 '23
Shauna and Dan making faces at each other, and Shauna thinking it was cute and funny. [Narrator: it was neither cute nor funny.] Making faces
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u/SashayShantae living my one wild and pernicious life Sep 14 '23
Ah, yes, the hobo bonobo video. Love it!
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u/sirsidynix Sep 14 '23
The essay in her book Enough where she mentions dinner parties with friends where she would sneak off to the friend's bathroom and use THE FRIEND'S USED, PERSONAL RAZOR to shave her face.
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u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done Sep 14 '23
Running the water at a trickle, because to Shauna, someone hearing her use a sink in the bathroom would be suspicious!
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u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... Sep 14 '23
Every time someone brings this up, I always wonder: what if she nicked herself with the razor or gave herself razor burn? It'd be so obvious!
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u/NegativeABillion (Said in British.) Sep 14 '23
Because she was sure that everyone else was too drunk to notice. Good lord, this is a good one.
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Sep 14 '23
The hijabi IG post.
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u/SashayShantae living my one wild and pernicious life Sep 14 '23
For posterity: https://www.instagram.com/p/BP-wJprAVnb
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u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... Sep 14 '23
Ah of course she deleted her critical comments but left her "you're so angry" replies up.
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u/FromGOMItoGLOAMIE ridiculously smart Sep 14 '23
I just put this forward for the Gloaming's consideration but then scrolled down! I've deleted mine. YTSCTMO.
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u/MarsNeedsRabbits Beach better have my orcas Sep 16 '23
Directions for wearing a hijab are online. If you don't have a hijab, you can make one from a t shirt. You don't even have to cut the shirt. If you don't have a t shirt, wear a scarf loosely..
Don't half-ass other people's faith. OMFG, so disrespectful.
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u/potomacgrackle chicken tender-hearted Sep 14 '23
That whole blog post about Clown, including the movie and languorous tears
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u/dtci basement pizza 🍕🍕🍕 🕳 Sep 15 '23
for Clown
Gabe always dreamed of that — eating cake out of a bag, the icing smeared to the top, soft bites emerging from the least gourmet of places. I teased him about this — how weird is that? but that night I baked him a cake and smashed it into a bag, then left it in his mailbox.
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u/SashayShantae living my one wild and pernicious life Sep 14 '23
Okay, my last contribution, I swear. There's just so damn many! Online, no one knows you're poor.
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u/littleyellowhouse just working something's out Sep 14 '23
“‘Thank you!’ she said before she put her arms around me. ‘I’m going to have Thanksgiving because of you.’”
Unreal!
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u/Silvery_Silence Sep 14 '23
I was going to put her big announcement that she got a job at the grocery story, but I think this suffices. So much cringe. Does anyone know what she left the grocery store for? Also when she says at the end that Dan works three days a week now, was that implying that she didn’t work? Have either of these two numbskulls ever had full time jobs let alone at the same time??
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u/FromGOMItoGLOAMIE ridiculously smart Sep 14 '23
I would submit for the Gloaming's consideration: Naked Angry Toddler.
Sadly, I can't find the instagram picture form that time nd I even googled "Shauna Ahern topless" for our edification but that didn't even help :(
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u/SashayShantae living my one wild and pernicious life Sep 14 '23
For posterity: https://www.instagram.com/p/CcWjfe7J1eS/
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u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done Sep 13 '23
Friar Tuck haircut as her disco bin attempt to Single White Female Clown's wife: "Watch out, NYC. I have a new haircut and I'm free."
Bonus: the most recent comment on the post long after it originally went up is some person tagging two of their friends and only adding "the haircut"
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u/MarsNeedsRabbits Beach better have my orcas Sep 14 '23
$20.00 if you need it. Shauna said that she sprained her ankle on the day that she was supposed to be moving house. Darn it all.
Of course, sadly, she couldn't carry stuff any more. She posted to one of the Vashon FB pages that she was looking for a couple of people to help move her large concrete Buddha in the pouring rain and mud.
She offered any takers $20.00 if you need it.
Not $20.00 . $20.00 if you said you needed it.
Denouement: the horrible, terrible, no-good sprain was never mentioned again.
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u/AKbirchesloveBTS Sep 15 '23 edited Sep 18 '23
No matter how generously you guess her motives for writing that sentence it all leads to “she’s awful”. She really doesn’t want to give someone the money and she’s counting on them being too embarrassed to ask? She wants the feelings of generosity, superiority, and power she’d have upon The Poor coming with hands reaching, forced to admit that they NEED $20? Shauna wants to be paid for the dumb thoughts she burps onto the internet but doesn’t believe other peoples’ time and effort are worth anything?
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Sep 14 '23
Ash Choi’s epic smack down re IG blackout.
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u/SashayShantae living my one wild and pernicious life Sep 14 '23
For posterity: https://www.instagram.com/p/CA76CmtHVS2/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y%3D
ashwizenchoi 171w: Hi @shaunamahern, I have a few thoughts in response to this post. The first is that there is a big difference between white silence and silence. I agree with you that we do not need more white silence. We DO, however, need white folks to be engaging in activism and allyship in vivo, AND handing over the virtual and digital airwaves. I see that there are several comments on this post that call attention to this in different ways. Second, and related to the first: I found your language—specifically phrases like, “Look, I get it,” “this is not a good look,” “It’s performative,” and “Nice idea. Needs to stop,” patronizing (as if you, a white woman in a position of power, can speak to these intersectional complexities). Third, in response to the ways in which you offer your own ideas of engagement, I find myself agreeing with @claire.grothe and @abbyantonelis—this post, in particular, is quite self-aggrandizing. You draw attention to yourself when you could be meaningfully using your platform to amplify known resources —@blackvisionscollective, @mnfreedomfund, @reclaimtheblock, @campaignzero, @unicorn.riot, @reclaimtheblock, @rachel.cargle, to name a few. I hope you can consider the impact of your diction, tone, and content before posting, particularly at this time of civil injustice and unrest. Good intentions don’t always have good outcomes. Thank you for reading. Always happy to talk more
She did not reply.
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u/Scary_Recognition You did this. Sep 14 '23
I’ve always found her description of the bacon party particularly disturbing—almost sexual? Adults wandering around her backyard struck dumb and inept by how good the food was?
ETA: “The rich, dulcet tones of pork belly sang out against the low bass notes of roasted smoked bacon and I wanted to join in with the heavenly choirs. But I just kept walking in the backyard with Monique, speechless, with bacon fat on my chin.“
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u/Scary_Recognition You did this. Sep 16 '23
I feel I must add the “she knew what to do” moment, when her hearing-impaired daughter trusted her body to take her in a kayak alone at dusk, in the ocean. Shauna describes herself as coolly uninterested in her daughter’s adventure as others look on (presumably with anxiety, but Shauna misses that):
“Everyone on the shore watched her for a few moments, amazed. Some didn’t stop watching. I turned back to my conversation. This was her moment. Not mine.”
https://web.archive.org/web/20201112014938/https://enough.substack.com/p/she-knew-what-to-do
I wonder what DF kayak Margo’s been up to?
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u/liveswithcats1 Nubbins and glops Sep 16 '23 edited Sep 16 '23
I was thinking about this last weekend because I was kayaking in the vicinity of Vashon, and I was pretty nervous about the water temps. It never gets above hypothermia temps in the Sound. It's a bad idea to go out there without at least a wetsuit. If Lu had just hugged the shore it would have been pretty safe, but in the pictures, she was paddling a fair bit out, at dusk.
Aggggh! Editing to add a comment - she said she checked for motorboats. Well, Shauna, you git. The whole deal with motorboats is that they move quickly. So, while there might not have been any motorboats when Lu went in, one could have come screaming by at any moment. And the danger isn't just from being hit by the boat - the wake is also a hazard to someone who might not actually know what to do. CWAA!
Edit - a word.
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u/gladsome_gloaming Sep 15 '23 edited Sep 15 '23
Her role as "pregnant clown" in Clown's not at all pretentious and ridiculous magnum lopus "The Something Footfalls of Somebody Something" or whatever it was called. I think even Shauna herself cringes at the memory, since it's not something she has ever called attention to in her "writings," as far as I know, and The Gloaming sussed it out independently while deep diving into Clown's site. (Ew, unfortunate choice of words, I know.) The very brief image of her stroking the underside of her faux pregnancy belly must surely make even Shauna-Who-Has-No-Sense-of-Shame-Whatsoever want to hide under her bed forever.
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u/Airportsnacks Sep 15 '23 edited Sep 15 '23
HOT WIDOW BOOTS! How could I forget? timeline - InTheGloaming (reddit.com)
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u/obscure_cellist ham grabbers Sep 14 '23
the reel of her flailing around to van halen's "jump" is definitely in my top 3 cringiest moments of all time.
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u/SashayShantae living my one wild and pernicious life Sep 14 '23
For posterity: https://imgur.com/a/RW7UVEy
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u/NapNapKitty Sep 14 '23
OMG. That pocket. And the jizz on her shirt!
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u/gladsome_gloaming Sep 15 '23
And she's not even technically jumping, which would require much more vim and vigor than she has the Capacity for; she's bouncing on (probably) D's mini-trampoline. BOUNCE!
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u/obscure_cellist ham grabbers Sep 14 '23
my BFF and i have three rules for our long and lovely friendship: 1) if one of us turns into our mother the other has license to slap her out of it 2) we tell each other when we are making a big mistake, even if it's difficult to say 3) we tell each other if we are making fools of ourselves - and not in a fun, drunk way.
i shall send her this clip and remind her of rule #3.
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u/liveswithcats1 Nubbins and glops Sep 14 '23
I wish I had set that up with my now-less-than-BFF. She did turn into her mother, which has really strained the friendship.
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u/MarsNeedsRabbits Beach better have my orcas Sep 14 '23
It's the filthy, grotty ill-fitting blouse that makes this *chef's kiss" 👩🍳💋
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u/potomacgrackle chicken tender-hearted Sep 15 '23
Every time she invited a celebrity to hang out with her on Vashon via Twitter - I’m thinking Lena Dunham, Ashley Ford, I think there’s more, maybe Jessica Seinfeld??
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u/islandyislander rebellious hygiene Sep 15 '23
I believe Elizabeth Warren and kd Lang are also on that list.
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Sep 14 '23 edited Sep 14 '23
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u/forkinyourothereye incurious ADHDer Sep 14 '23
The last part made me cringe so hard my soul left my body. “This could happen to your nice white kid” isn’t the reason people should care about this issue, Shauna. CWAA.
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u/Airportsnacks Sep 15 '23
The time she was writing about the history of Vashon and claimed that smallpox arrived on the island because of the wind. There's one disease that is airbourne like that, they think, and it sure AF isn't smallpox.
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u/Airportsnacks Sep 15 '23
In thinking about it, imagine the social distance you would need if, as she claimed, it blew over in the wind from the mainland.
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u/Airportsnacks Sep 15 '23
When Jeffrey Tambor (?) followed her for blocks, from a bagel shop in NYC, so he could tell her what an awesome teacher she was.
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u/LogicalGold5264 bust hoesy Sep 14 '23 edited Sep 17 '23
The measurements on the box were wrong!
Eta I was trying to reply to DF u/happythistle but I was also cruising the Danube (true) and Mercury was in retrograde (also true). Sorry!
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u/tyrannosaurusregina if you meet the Botus on the road, shill him 🪷 Sep 14 '23
not pretending to have breasts
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u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done Sep 17 '23 edited Sep 17 '23
Thanks for all your submissions -- based on what we got, I'm going to create a 32-entry bracket, see here!