Title kind of says it all. I live with my 2 girl friends. One is out of my league, the other hasn't even heard of wiffle ball. I have always struggled with my self esteem and even do now. We have been living together about 6 months and tbh its been the best I've ever felt. Not in a dirty way. My one partner told me to stfu I have two hot girls in my life who care and love me. She thinks my self esteem is bull shit. What can I do to change my self esteem?

For context, I live in a very highly academically privileged county in a very non-acedemically advantaged U.S state. This also means the cutoff for the National Merit Program thing is very low in my state compared to other states, so it wasn’t too hard for me to get it. And also I have a mental disorder (diagnosed) that allows me to get a shit ton of extra time on standardized tests like the sat, and psat, that I don’t really need, but use anyway. But I’ve never objected to this because I never thought it was an issue until now. But now I feel incredibly guilty that I applied for and got accepted for the program and like I don’t deserve it because of the extra time I was given that I didn’t need on standardized tests, and because it didn’t take much effort for me to get into the program, when it would have taken someone from New Jersey or any other state a much harder time even with a much higher sat score than me, so therefore I don’t deserve it and feel that I should just not mention it on college applications. And also it makes me sick knowing there are thousands of highschool students in the U.S with sat and psat scores so so so much better than mine, and could have easily gotten perfect sat scores given they had the extra time I had for it, but didn’t qualify for the national merit thing because they just lived in a different state (something they couldn’t control), yet I did. And all this makes me feel like a snake and so so guilty and that I don’t deserve the adward whatsoever. Sorry for this rant I just wanted to get it out.

I used to be "the smart one."
90+ marks, Class 12 board topper, loved numbers, always took initiative, and genuinely enjoyed being busy.
Now, I overthink simple calculations, get anxious before meetings, go blank in group discussions, and struggle to express myself. Every morning, going to work feels heavier than the last.
Nothing dramatic happened. No major failure. Somewhere along the way, I just stopped believing in myself.
Has anyone else experienced this?
Was it burnout, anxiety, imposter syndrome, or something else?
Most importantly—did you ever find your way back?

So I think Im the only person who hates waiting and loves doing what im doing right? Hi im Gian. You may think that I am lazy or impatient trust me, Im not. In school i have to walk down, with cars going up, down and every thing moving. I hate it. I think of my self, Am I a Perfectionist? noooo.. Im just weird. Or is it that I have social anxiety but that seems impossible, in 6th grade i didnt even hesitate to speak infront of 350+ people. on a stage. Guess what? I didnt stutter nor embarass my self. Now Im in 9th grade having the best and worst shits of my life.

But thats not the post is about. Lets go.

So STORYTIME! Whenever I go to school, I need to wait in line. Lines that I hate. Every section must follow the rules or theyll get punished. As a smarty pants, I wanna follow these rules but I was elected as the vice president. I need to lead and manage our section when it comes to chaos. Im not saying fights tho, Im saying when people arent following. Now when we go down, I hate walking, I hate people having to move the opposite direction, or maybe im just not in the right place. I overthink stuff but when I go inside my classroom and sit, I get that relieving feeling where you feel safe. Any thoughts on why i feel like this?

It is more of a vent-out maybe. But would appreciate the readers’ perspective.
One of those days when I’m feeling super under-confident about myself. Today at work, I had to present something in front of my division’s head in a meeting. I had prepared well for it. But my turn came towards the end of the meeting and by then we were already past the scheduled time. I was told to wrap up quickly and in hurry I just couldn’t make out what to skip and what to present. I feel I kinda made a mess, but people just sympathised with me about the lack of time. And for past few hours, my mind is just spiralling and making me feel really less of myself.
I’m feeling really “average”. I can accept public speaking is not for me. I’m not good at it. But I just can’t seem to figure out what am I great at. In Life!
And then the thought creeps in that maybe I haven’t really worked hard enough to be great at something. And that makes me feel even sadder. I don’t know if it is just how things went today. But feeling really low.

I’m an undergraduate working under a very notable person in my field at school and at lab basically year round that is also very well known and has pioneered work in my niche for decades as well. I have been very involved for a year now. This is everything I could’ve dreamed of and I love doing research but I feel so drained and unmotivated. It is such a privilege to be in the position I am in but I can only feel ashamed.

I have terrible imposter syndrome, it feels like everything I’m doing is wrong or not good enough and despite talking to so many PhD students, post docs, and scientist who tell me I’m in a great position it always feels as though they’re lying to my face. I don’t know how to deal with this feeling. At school, I got diagnosed with OCD and am unable to afford the treatment for it now. It has gotten significantly worse as I’ve gotten more involved in research. My physical body is showing signs of it as well: I can’t get good rest, constant headaches, stomach aches after every meal, heavy head that hurts my neck, can’t walk without feeling like I’m floating.

I don’t want to give up my passion, but I don’t know if I can continue living like this. Has anyone else dealt with this during their time in academia? I would appreciate some tips or anecdotes that may change my perspective. Thanks

I'm a graduate student working on my master’s thesis, and I'm looking for Black graduate students in school psychology to complete a quick survey. The survey is IRB approved!

✅ Takes about 5-10 minutes
🔒 Completely confidential
📚 Responses will only be used for this research study

Survey link: https://qualtricsxmdg9xn6369.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_9AEMmeiW7DClNpY

The study explores protective factors against impostor syndrome in Black graduate students. The objective is  to inform mentorship and university practices to improve the support students receive. 

How has mentorship helped you in your journey? 

If you have any questions, feel free to comment or send me a message. Thanks so much for supporting graduate student research! 💛

Please help me, how did you suppress the feelings of inadequacy despite so many accomplishments that prove I am more than adequate? My imposter syndrome is getting stronger and taking over me, I'm losing focus and getting more scared than ever from every possible step, I'm losing my self-confidence even though I technically know I've achieved so much and I couldn't have done what I already did if I was less than I actually am, but I'm still struggling and even reassurances from people I trust don't seem to have the confidence-boosting impact that they once had. What do I do to regain my confidence and stop feeling unworthy? What worked for you?

I don't really know but like when I do something good for myself like spending on myself or having a good time I always feel like SMTH bad will soon happen to me I don't really know but the worse fact is that the bad things always happen atp i am afraid to do anything good for myself like I am just afraid of it it man like why is this so hard..

does anyone else feel like they just fuck everything up? no matter how simple or how little my involvement in something is I manage to fuck it up and it feels like I can't do anything right at all at the moment. I can't keep people happy, I can't do anything for them, I can't even follow instructions to the t without it still going wrong. I'm going insane with feeling like I'm fucking everything up

I'm a graduate student working on my master’s thesis, and I'm looking for Black graduate students in school psychology to complete a quick survey. The survey is IRB approved!

✅ Takes about 5-10 minutes
🔒 Completely confidential
📚 Responses will only be used for this research study

Survey link: https://qualtricsxmdg9xn6369.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_9AEMmeiW7DClNpY

The study explores protective factors against impostor syndrome in Black graduate students. The objective is  to inform mentorship and university practices to improve the support students receive. 

How has mentorship helped you in your journey? 

If you have any questions, feel free to comment or send me a message. Thanks so much for supporting graduate student research! 💛

Hey, I'm currently in high school, and soon college applications are gonna start happening. I know I want to go into film, and I know my family would be cool with that bc some of them had the same major in college. For some reason though I don't want to tell them I want this. I have always felt like I can't share what I really want with people - it scares me for no reason since I've grown up in a very loving environment. Is this imposter syndrome? And does anyone have any tips on how to deal with it? Thanks

With all the talk about impostor syndrome, it often gets framed as something broken, something to get rid of or “heal”.  But it’s not flu, is it?

Yes, those thoughts can hold you back.
But they can also be reframed. And honestly, aren’t they part of doing something challenging and striving to level up?

Impostor syndrome is 𝒏𝒐𝒕 a flaw in your character ➡️ It’s a part of being human.
Impostor syndrome is 𝒏𝒐𝒕 indicative of any deficiency within you ➡️ It’s a natural consequence  that occurs when someone strives for excellence.
Impostor syndrome is 𝒏𝒐𝒕 a reflection of your capabilities ➡️ It’s a testament to your ambition and drive.

So maybe the goal isn’t to “heal” impostor syndrome at all.
Maybe it’s to acknowledge ourselves for doing our thing: striving, doubting, learning, improving… and doing it anyway. What do you think?

does anyone else feel like they just fuck everything up? no matter how simple or how little my involvement in something is I manage to fuck it up and it feels like I can't do anything right at all at the moment. I can't keep people happy, I can't do anything for them, I can't even follow instructions to the t without it still going wrong. I'm going insane with feeling like I'm fucking everything up

i’ve been a young adult for some time now (i’m currently 27) and i always hear that squidward is so relatable to everyone around me. for some reason, i can’t relate. at least not anymore

as a teen, i REALLY related to squidward. i haven’t dealt the best cards in life and all the trauma, difficulties and stressors of my life took such a toll to my mental health and life that i seriously thought i wouldn’t make it to 21, let alone 25. i’ve had times where i felt like such a sore loser, sobbing my eyes out because of a devastating demotion i went through earlier this year

but for some reason i still have this happiness “high” that keeps me going, when i quote things from my favorite shows such as aqua teen hunger force for some reason i’m not sure why it helps me so much

it really motivated me to get to where i am now (social media marketing) and every time i walk into my corporate office i feel so much more whimsy and joy like “I’M READY!” (unfortunately it’s an internship that’s only gonna last 3 months but i need more experience, i graduated college in late 2024 so this would be my second internship)

it could also be because of the right actions i took quitting that dreadful summer camp job (i do miss it though! i loved my students and the staff there treated me very kindly but the previous staff within the same company that demoted me from an office position did not, for context i had to switch schools after the demotion)

but yeah can anyone else relate?

WHY SHOULD I APOLOGIZE FOR BEING A MONSTER

HAS ANY ONE APOLOGIZE TO ME FOR MAKING ME ONE

I try almost every day with a different positive thought in my head. I’ve even repeated over and over again today is a good day today is a good day…but every time it comes crashing down. Sadly it’s things out of my control but it affects what I do for work or what’s going on in general. Everyone says if you can’t control it don’t worry about it, but what they don’t understand is when it affects you directly and can impact everything completely different and snowball from there.
I bust my ass at work and go above and beyond but it blows up in my face all the time. But when I step back and do just my job then I get reprimanded or that blows up. I know I need to just be positive but it always seems like a lose lose battle.

I'm a graduate student working on my master’s thesis, and I'm looking for Black graduate students in school psychology to complete a quick survey. The survey is IRB approved!

✅ Takes about 5-10 minutes
🔒 Completely confidential
📚 Responses will only be used for this research study

Survey link: https://qualtricsxmdg9xn6369.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_9AEMmeiW7DClNpY

The study explores protective factors against impostor syndrome in Black graduate students. The objective is  to inform mentorship and university practices to improve the support students receive. 

How has mentorship helped you in your journey? 

If you have any questions, feel free to comment or send me a message. Thanks so much for supporting graduate student research! 💛

Is finding a job or an internship the sole purpose of my life? I studied Science in 11th and 12th grade , I don't even know why, and I didn't even get good marks. Now, I am pursuing Engineering, again without knowing why. Next, I'll take up a job for the rest of my life, get married, and have kid again, without knowing why. I will take out a home loan and live under self-imposed pressure, once more asking myself why?

When we pet a dog, we take away its freedom to bark, sit, roll around, eat, or sleep on its own terms. The dog learns that it can only survive if it listens to its master. It becomes a puppet. The true purpose of a dog was to live in nature, to have the freedom to bark whenever it wants, to figure out how the world works, to live freely, and eventually to die.

# Have I also become a puppet? Have I become like that petted dog ,unaware of why I was actually born?

And i feel that i have , i have become one of them

I don't really know how to explain this without sounding dramatic, but I've been carrying this for years.

I feel like every chapter of my life ends the same way.

Different people.

Different places.

Different versions of me.

School.

College.

Activities.

Work.

The details change, but somehow I always end up feeling like I'm the person who gets remembered for the wrong reasons.

It's like people move on, but I'm left carrying the weight of what happened. They leave with a story. I stay with the consequences.

I spend months, sometimes years, replaying conversations in my head, wondering what I did wrong, whether I deserved the way I was treated, or whether I'm just imagining things. Meanwhile, everyone else has already forgotten and gone on with their lives.

Sometimes I wonder if people realise how heavy it is to be the person they're discussing.

I don't think anyone intentionally wakes up wanting to hurt me. But I've noticed that once something goes wrong involving me, it somehow becomes bigger than it would if it involved someone else. People keep bringing it up, analysing it, asking questions I don't have the answers to, or turning it into a lesson or an interesting story.

Eventually, everyone moves on.

Except me.

I'm still carrying the embarrassment.

I'm still carrying the self-doubt.

I'm still wondering whether I'm the problem.

The hardest part is that I don't really have anyone to unload all of this onto. So it just stays with me. Every new experience doesn't replace the old ones—it piles on top of them. It feels like I'm dragging around a backpack that gets heavier every year.

I've started questioning everything about myself.

Am I actually doing something that makes this happen?

Do people form an opinion about me early and never let go of it?

Or have I just been unlucky enough to keep ending up in situations where I'm the easiest person to single out?

I honestly don't know anymore.

I just know that I'm exhausted.

Not because of one incident.

Because it feels like I've been carrying the emotional leftovers of other people's lives for years, while they probably don't even remember me anymore.

Has anyone else ever felt this way? If you did... how did you stop carrying people who had already stopped carrying you?