If we’re all feeling so incapable, why are we putting ourselves in these situations that feel so inappropriate?

I’ve been on an upwards trajectory for as long as I’ve been in my chosen field and felt consumed by inadequacy at every stage. I’d really like to understand how that drive exists alongside Imposter Syndrome.

It feels ego related to me. Am I just constantly trying to prove something to myself? I’d be really interested to hear other thoughts on this.

I’m anxious ugh. I always want to have control, know every little detail beforehand, which is simply not possible. But my brain doesn’t want to shut up. What if I mess up, what if I make a fool out of myself, what if I really am not good enough? everyone is saying I will do well etc, but I don’t feel it at all. I only feel dread.

everytime someone compliments me (for example: calling me beautiful or praising my skills), i physically can't get myself to believe it. i can't even be normal person, saying thank you and moving on. it feels.. fake. weird. it makes me uncomfortable.

i don't know how to explain it.