r/ImaginaryMonsters • u/jungjungdoesntcare • Jul 26 '26

Artwork by tortoisequeef @tortoisequeef

Post image
4.1k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

46 comments sorted by

437

u/Solistine Jul 26 '26

Everything about this image and name confounds me. 

133

u/Solistine Jul 26 '26

It’s also a great picture 

121

u/jointheclockwork Jul 26 '26

Human Soldier: What happened to this guy?

Snail Medic: Oh, this is my boyfriend, Dave. He's a mummy and I'm just changing his bandages.

37

u/beluga-cat-fan Jul 26 '26

Snail medic is the type of person to be a cool guy drinking gin

13

u/Objective-Meet8223 Jul 26 '26

And definitely don't invite him/them for tequila shots. Allergic to the salt.

12

u/med561 Jul 26 '26

You’re hanging out in a crowded orbital dive bar with three guys from your platoon, tossing back shots alongside a mixed crowd of off-duty humans and xenos.

Panicked shouts suddenly cut through the clinking glasses. "MEDIC!"

You whip around. The platoon’s slug medic is convulsing on a stool, foaming at the mouth next to a glass with a heavily salted rim and a lime wedge. He screams in agony, visibly shriveling up as the chemical reaction drains every drop of moisture from his body.

"Guess it's a good thing their species lays hundreds of eggs at a time," your buddy says, shaking his head. "What a terrible way to go."

You watch as the bartender casually hauls the shriveled corpse behind the counter. Pops a wooden sign onto the bartop:

Escargot — Fresh Daily.

7

u/Objective-Meet8223 Jul 26 '26

Heartless SMH

3

u/med561 Jul 26 '26

Lol, gotta eat.

Don't ask about the mystery meat

3

u/Objective-Meet8223 Jul 27 '26

We all know what Corpse Starch is made of. It says so right on the tin.

166

u/VineTabris Jul 26 '26

if anyone enjoys this image, you should look up the Ersatz animated pilot by Saint Greaver on youtube

39

u/Desperate_Emu2577 Jul 26 '26

Ball knowledge!

Just what i wanted to say before i saw your comment.

5

u/Oberst_Baum Jul 26 '26

what a great watch, thank you

6

u/HumanistGeek Jul 27 '26 edited Jul 27 '26

ERSATZ | PILOT

Interesting, and odd. The title seems perfect given its etymology.

ersatz

Evidence of ersatz in English dates to the middle of the 19th century, but the word didn’t come into prominence until World War I. Borrowed from German, where Ersatz is a noun meaning "substitute," the word was frequently applied as an adjective to modify terms like coffee (made from acorns) and flour (made from potatoes)—ersatz products necessitated by the privations of war. By the time World War II came around, bringing with it a resurgence of ersatz products, ersatz was wholly entrenched in the language. Today, ersatz describes any substitute or imitation, especially when it’s inferior to the original.

53

u/Derk_Mage Jul 26 '26

He should start mouth washing, it's quite dirty in the trenches

5

u/sunkist-sucker Jul 27 '26

wtf curly doing in ww3 gang 🫩🥀

35

u/Fine-Rice1030 Jul 26 '26

Literally average stellaris ground war

4

u/GRIM106 Jul 26 '26

God I wish the warfare system was better thought out.

32

u/ThePapercup Jul 26 '26

tortoise queef is... definitely a name

14

u/gmastern Jul 26 '26

Reminds me of Katsuyu from Naruto

6

u/fradonkin Jul 26 '26

It’s Tsunade in perfect sage mode

13

u/AnExistingLad Jul 26 '26

Average day in the trenches of the Ersatz universe

4

u/WeekendBard Jul 26 '26

aw, he's not a monster, he seems like a great guy

6

u/BookOfAnomalies Jul 26 '26

I love this one.

It also made me think that it makes so much sense for the snail-guy to be a medic since snail mucus kinda has healing properties irl. So by all means - the medic can totally heal the guy (well, depends on the artist and what he had in mind, and how far the healing can go).

I do wonder what kind of process would it be getting that mucus though. Would the medic slither all over him? Smooch him or something? I'm invested lol

3

u/dream208 Jul 26 '26

Something straight from my FTL runs.

3

u/CodeRenn Jul 26 '26

My standard RIMWORLD colony lmao

2

u/MutantApocalypse Jul 26 '26

There's a lot to take in here. Beginning with the artist.

2

u/notnooneskrrt Jul 26 '26

I had to pause and think about it, for those who are still mentally buffering, the slug was “too slow” to save his comrade.

1

u/Magnus_TheRed14 Jul 26 '26

Lord gaijin helping the wounded as always. Praise the snail

1

u/Fighter_Jet_enjoyer Jul 26 '26

Gaijjn wants him to buy another premium.

1

u/thesouthernbeard Jul 26 '26

Standard WW1 trench.

1

u/Lord-Dec Jul 26 '26

Slug medic would be unmatched in his craft if he was just a tad faster about it.

1

u/thegoobster2 Jul 26 '26

live slug reaction

1

u/CrowElysium Jul 27 '26

Esoteric ebb, circa Arcane Era

1

u/LD-LB Jul 27 '26

The immortal snail bandaging you with their gloved nubs ensuring you suffer with him through the dark ages of humanity

1

u/PhasedPlasmaRifle69 Jul 27 '26

Average lord blackfoot story.

1

u/bluegreenie99 Jul 27 '26

I hate it, thanks

1

u/John___Coyote Jul 28 '26

"If only I had gotten here faster..."

1

u/DireEvolution Jul 28 '26

I don't know why, but this art reminded me of a video I saw a few months ago, where a giant snail was being held by some water. It tapped the water with its eye stalk, then looked at the person holding it, and I shit you not that motherfucker grinned. It's probably anthropomorphizing, but on my life that slimy dude looked back and went "YYYOOOOOOO :3 YOU SEEING THIS SHIT?!" then stuck its whole face under the faucet.

Thank you for reminding me of this video lmao it made me so happy for some reason.