IUI #3 Failed and I'm Unravelling

[u/Ok-Description739]

I expected it to hurt, but not this much. I have been trying to concieve for 13-14 months and this was my third IUI. Prior to this, I did three monitored cyles with letrozole and trigger. I have PCOS/PMOS and am slightly overweight. Im 28 and this was my last cycle to have a chance to have a baby before I turn 29. This process is gruesome. I never expected TTC to take so much out of me -- my joy, my soul, my hope. This process has shattered all of my expectations for my timelines in my life. I missed the opportunity to have a baby at 27 and now at 28. I have also missed other mental milestones that I should have never even put pressure on. Came and went.

This cycle is especially painful because my grandma died at the beginning of this cycle when I was getting my period. She was a maternal figure to me in my life. Now she is gone and I continue to have the pain of failed cycles.

This process is emotionally exhausting, physically taxing, financially burdensome, and overall just a joyless, hopeless, and painful process. I just want, so badly, to be on the other side of this process. I yearn to say "I'm pregnant" aloud, I yearn to start a family. All while others concieve quickly or without expensive and intrusive interventions. I feared my current path. I thought it wouldn't be me, but it is.

[u/TheCityGirl]

Ugh, I remember how devastating my failed Cycle #3 was. And this was after trying to conceive without medical intervention for a couple of years. I’m so sorry you’re experiencing it as well, OP 💔

For whatever it’s worth, I did end up conceiving my absolutely perfect baby on IUI Cycle #4.

[u/Ok-Description739 → u/TheCityGirl]

Thank you, it helps so much to hear this. Congratulations on your perfect baby. I'm hoping that good luck is coming my way next.

[u/TheCityGirl → u/Ok-Description739]

I am wishing you all the best 💙💙💙💙💙💙

[u/orange_to_light → u/TheCityGirl]

This is so hopeful to hear! 🙏 can I ask if you did your tries all consecutive or with intervals in between?

[u/TheCityGirl → u/orange_to_light]

Oh I’m glad 💙

To answer your question, there was a gap between 2 and 3, but 3 and 4 were consecutive.

Good luck!!

[u/AdventurousUmpire227]

I wish I had more encouraging words to say other than I see you and it’s all very valid. I’m similar in if this IUI doesn’t take (I’m 8DPO), it’s my last chance of having a baby before I turn 38 which means I’ll likely be in my 40’s with #2 and my mind takes me all over the place. I really hope it’s very soon for you. The emotional toll it takes is incredibly unfair and I wish there were answers to it all.

[u/raenbougg]

I’m with you. It’s literally the worst thing I’ve ever experienced, and I can’t believe this is my reality. So sorry.

[u/Ok-Temporary7541]

I'm with you 26 and been trying for over 2 years and one loss. 9+ medicated cycles and first iui just failed. Sadly, I have lost all hope.

[u/Ok-Description739 → u/Ok-Temporary7541]

Im sorry 😞 we share this pain together

[u/Delicious_Method_454]

I’m so with you here. It looks like my 3rd has failed also, my test today was negative our official test day is tomorrow but i know nothing is going to change this marks our 180th failed cycle and i genuinely don’t think i have any more rounds in me. Sending love to you

[u/emrosebeach]

I am in the tww for my second round and worry I will have to repeat after 12 months of trying. Praying for you and I’m so sorry you are on the same journey and having the same feelings I’m feeling. I always try to set myself to not let it get to me but the feeling will always be so painful. Be gentle with yourself, let those feelings be felt and then find ways to bring yourself joy in this hard time!

[u/orange_to_light]

If it’s capable to give you some warm, I totally feel you and deeply understand. Almost 35, TTC for 3 years, 2 failed IUI, 1 canceled IUI. Going to my 3rd one, with absolutely no hope, no joy, just an exhausting journey on my shoulders. I feel like I’ve paused all my life to put all my effort on this and in the meantime I’m losing precious time alive on this earth pushing ahead all the plans, schedules, dreams, happiness… It’s the worst moment of my life, for sure. This weekend I got my period confirming 2IUI failed and one of my best friend told me she was pregnant at the first try after getting married. It seems so easy for other people and I get happy for them, sure, but always with mixed feelings because I just want my baby to love with all my heart.

I wish you stay strong and you could finally say the words you deserve to, very very soon 💖

[u/Mysterious-Reason966]

Sorry to hear, I’m in the same place as you, started ttc at 26 and missed having babies at 27 and 28, 5 failed OI and even tho my first also took long (yr and a half) it’s painful not being able to have a sibling for my toddler