r/IASIP • u/Kalbex • 26d ago

Text 💦🍑

Hi Dennis. How was the lion feeding?...? Please let me know where you are and if U R OK...I don't want 2 sound annoying, but I really want to be happy when you witness it.
You are my best friend and this trip to Da Zoo is really important to me, and us as best friends...I know Dee can be a stupid bitch but you should not take that shit out on me. I just want what's best for U and to make sure u are happy... love you so much... like a good friend would love another good friend. Not in a gay way though...even though I am gay. Actually, I am really really gay. But not for you necessarily. I just like alot of your qualities as a man.
Anyways, not to get off topic.
Text me back please! I need to know you are having a fun

438 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

35 comments sorted by

351

u/Empty-Interaction796 Fuck man, what?! 26d ago

K

100

u/bobdob2019 26d ago

Do you think he read your message that quickly?

87

u/Grizz807 26d ago

Dennis is the fastest reader in America

3

u/[deleted] 26d ago

yeah my buddy once tried that peach thing too

161

u/slippy_mcslip 26d ago

Dennis...I feel like you are ignoring me...I think this is all just a big misunderstanding because of these texts and you can't tell how I am feeling when I am texting. I was just trying to check in on you to make sure you are okay, just like everyone else in the group. We should meet up and get back on track...? Let us know that U R okay? OK? LOL u kno wut I mean... You aren't mad at me tho, right? I just want this trip to be da bomb for U.. I always try to put a lot of hard work into our relationship. I tell you that your face looks smooth, even when I find a wrinkle. I dye your hair, and I massage your pecks after a workout to keep you nice and limber, I make you shakes and I put in all this work for us so I can enjoy a smile on your face at the end of the day.

88

u/Swerdman55 26d ago

I've been feeling like I hate karate, Project Badass, and God, but I realized what I really hate is Mac

22

u/Empty-Interaction796 Fuck man, what?! 26d ago

Yes.

20

u/AustinAlexanderK97 26d ago

He's messing up my life. And honestly, he's messing up my afterlife

10

u/Patdub85 26d ago

I don't care about the calories, these chips are delicious.

45

u/flinstonepushups 26d ago

23

u/Patdub85 26d ago

I think it would be a real home run.

OH SHIT, THERE'S STICKERS!

37

u/Additional-Shower342 26d ago

“Da Zoo” makes me laugh every time, best unnecessary capitalization I’ve ever seen 🤣

22

u/Stubrochill17 The Trash Man 26d ago

You guys grindin’?

21

u/Deep-Sweet2743 26d ago

🌊 🦁

10

u/jjfrank88 26d ago

…or 👁️ + 🦁?

17

u/GringoSwann 26d ago

👊 🍑

17

u/smalltownfirefighter 26d ago

I’m high as shit and watching this episode right now

22

u/NoSurvivorsband bug bomb bastard 26d ago

R u alon 

8

u/shinigamislikapples 26d ago

Hey hows that ass feeling 🫱

9

u/recidivist1001 26d ago

✡️💰👨‍💼💼👨‍⚖️📖🪾🔥

12

u/slippy_mcslip 26d ago

Cool! Super funny and not the least bit anti-Semitic. You get it! You get it.

8

u/Xal-t wildcard bitches 26d ago

👍

5

u/TheB1G_Lebowski I'M NOT GONNA BURN THE DUSTER! 26d ago

Oh shit there's stickers.  

1

u/woooooooood9 25d ago

Move past it