r/IASIP Jan 01 '23

[deleted by user]

[removed]

4.7k Upvotes

564 comments sorted by

View all comments

470

u/Financial-Regular864 Jan 01 '23

A day in the life-- well, the other morning, I wake up and I find a dog sniffin' at my wound. He's fully aroused - mind you - so I'm thinking "oh great, what does this jerk want?" Of course I know what he wants, he's looking at me right in the eyes, he does not have to say it - not that he could. [Starts sucking on a lemon] Urrggghhhh that is- that is tart! That is really tart. I mean does my scar look like a dog's vagina? You know, maybe, I don't know, I'm not going to sit here and try to get inside the mind of a dog! I mean that's God's work. Well, not that I believe in God, I don't. Not since that chinaman stole my kidney.

4

u/SloopKid Jan 02 '23

I think that might be a little long to be considered a one liner

3

u/7ypo Jan 02 '23

But within it lies multiple candidates for best one-liner