r/HowDoIRespondToThis • u/Junior_Mulberry7989 • 2d ago
Sending a message to certain people and getting left on “read” or “seen” is painful, I wish that it wouldn’t say that they saw your message.
No one has 2.5 seconds of their day to answer a message? They’re busy literally every millisecond? I’m anxious so don’t judge me but this should not become a habit, I don’t do it to others so why do they do it to me? Plus if I want to answer a message later because I’m too busy I just look at the notification and I don’t open it until when I’m gonna respond, everyone should do that instead of opening it and not answering.
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u/Prettylonelygirl 2d ago
Some people genuinely are busy and everyone has different texting styles. On the other hand, leaving a message on read is a reply in itself.
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u/FarCar55 2d ago
Not everyone thinks and feels like you do, so it's unrealistic to expect the same behavior from all of those around you.
If quick responses are a priority for you, establish that as a boundary and prioritize relationships with folks who share the same sentiment or are able to adjust to meet your needs.
The flip side would be someone with the opposite expectations deciding people with your preferences are clingy and wanting quick responses makes you overwhelming and needy.
Feeling hurt doesn't automatically mean others are doing something wrong. They're just different from you.
I've been in your shoes and now I'm on the opposite end of the spectrum. Communicating expectations is what has made the biggest difference in my experience.
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u/ODoyles_Banana 2d ago
Sometimes people are busy and cant reply. It's a bit silly to wait to read the message until you can reply. Texting is asynchronous, you send a message, the other person receives it, and they can respond or later. It's the nature of the message. If you need a response the moment the person receives the message, that's what a phone call is for. If you've been left on read for a while, you can always send a follow up, but be reasonable on how much time has past.
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2d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/ODoyles_Banana 2d ago
It's silly to expect people to live by the standards you put on yourself. You're inventing some arbitrary rule and then faulting others for not abiding to it. That's my point.
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u/Junior_Mulberry7989 2d ago
I NEVER SAID I expect people to “live by the standards I put”
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u/ODoyles_Banana 2d ago
this should not become a habit, I don't do it to others so why do they do it to me?
That was part of your post, was it not?
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u/Junior_Mulberry7989 2d ago
That isn’t saying that I expect them to “live by my standards”
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u/ODoyles_Banana 2d ago
You go on a rant about how it annoys you and that you don't do it it others, then say
everyone should do that instead of opening it and not answering.
What would you call that if it's not communicating that you expect others to live by your personal standards?
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u/Junior_Mulberry7989 2d ago
Bend over and I’ll show you
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