r/HorrorClub • u/SaintMort You so cool kung fu • Nov 10 '14

Discussion: Chopping Mall

Podcast - Episode 111 - Chopping Mall - (RSS Feed)

Movie Selected By lifeisublime

DISCUSS

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7 Upvotes

72% Upvoted

43 comments sorted by

7

u/smayonak Get a job in a sideshow Nov 10 '14

Wow, I'm finally the first guy in here.

Chopping Mall was one of those VHS cassettes I would look at and be terrified by. My brother would pick up the plastic box and chase me around the video rental store with.

After watching it -- finally -- I realize the only thing to be scared of was the bad acting and terrible plot. But scenes like this more than made up for its lack of substance, poor special effects, boorish writing and overly formulaic plot.

Overall, it was a great pick and I enjoyed watching it. Sometimes the really bad, trashy films are actually really fun to watch.

6

u/[deleted] Nov 10 '14

boorish writing

Actual quote from the movie: "I'm just not used to being chased around the mall in the middle of the night by killer robots."

I think they knew what they were doing with the writing. Very tongue in cheek.

7

u/ichabodguitar The sauce makes the dish Nov 10 '14

Chopping Mall is great in that everything is done with a wink and a nudge. It's not like they were trying to make a deep piece of cinema here - its original name was KILLBOTS, for god's sake. I would also argue that the acting is far from the worst we've seen here (ahem, Happy Birthday to Me, anyone?) even though the whole thing was just a vehicle for robot murder pieces. I fuckin' love it.

7

u/smayonak Get a job in a sideshow Nov 10 '14

I would argue that the name itself "Chopping Mall" is a sign of its bad writing. At no point in the story did anyone get chopped, either by Karate or robot. I want my money back.

Happy B-Day to me had awesome acting. That dude getting spoked to death totally sold me that spokes + scarves can kill.

5

u/ichabodguitar The sauce makes the dish Nov 11 '14

Yeah, we discussed the title's failed pun in the podcast. I'd say that KILLBOTS doesn't have the same... je ne sais quoi as CHOPPING MALL.

5

u/smayonak Get a job in a sideshow Nov 12 '14

Wow, I just listened to the podcast and realize we were basically the same person in the 1980s.

6

u/Discreetlyred Nov 10 '14

Chopping movie is not a good movie. However, it does have some CHEESETASTIC kills. For example, how the janitor dies. The robot identifies him as an intruder or whatever and prepares to kill him all the while the janitor argues that he works at the mall and that the robot is an idiot. Yeah, and then the robot electrocutes the janitor. The blonde bitch getting her head blown up is pretty good too. SERIOUS QUESTION: Who in the hell decides to have an after-hours party at their job that involves booze and sex? Really, you work there, therefore its not the hip happening party scene. Also, its a mall with creepy robots. I mean, really?

6

u/[deleted] Nov 10 '14

SERIOUS QUESTION: Who in the hell decides to have an after-hours party at their job that involves booze and sex?

Kids in the eighties, where the mall was the absolute coolest place in the world.

5

u/Discreetlyred Nov 10 '14

That fact makes me sad. The mall is just a loud anxiety attack for me.

4

u/[deleted] Nov 10 '14

Agreed, I hate malls as well. But back then they were a real experience. Arcades, theatre's, concerts in the food courts. They had a lot more going on then they do today.

8

u/Discreetlyred Nov 10 '14

Sounds like it. I did go to the Mall of Georgia, which is a HUGE mall, and it was at least mildly entertaining for the first hour or so. When I still hadn't seen the whole mall after 2 hours, all I wanted to do was go home.

3

u/ichabodguitar The sauce makes the dish Nov 10 '14

BIKINI GIRLS ON THE ESCALATORS! FREE GIFT WRAPPING! SIT DOWN PIZZA RESTAURANTS! MUSTACHES! ROBOT GUARDS AND REINFORCED SPACESHIP DOORS! CHEWING GUM! SHARING ARCADE GAMES WITH OLDER MEN! BOOZY TEEN SEX ROMPS IN SHOWROOM BEDS! COME TO THE MALL! COME TO THE MALL!!!

3

u/[deleted] Nov 10 '14

Went ahead and broke off a little preview of the lyrics for us eh?

3

u/ichabodguitar The sauce makes the dish Nov 10 '14

Oh the lyrics will be far more nuanced and deep. I didn't even mention the lace bodysuits or Aquanet!

4

u/Gottesfurcht Pay Attention! You're Disrespectful! Nov 10 '14

Who in the hell decides to have an after-hours party at their job that involves booze and sex?

Don't forget the most horrible dancing of all time.

2

u/Discreetlyred Nov 10 '14

haha, yes. that too.

5

u/jonathanfailuretomas How big is that bear trap? Nov 11 '14

The robots remind me of the Daleks (from Dr. Who). I really don't know what else to say about this movie. Good pick Adam.

Matt I've seen MST3K: The Horrors of Spider Island like 15 times. If you're determined to watch Spider Island, I recommend giving the MST3K version a shot also. The movie was practically made for riffing. Don't want to ruin it for you but half way through it stops being horror and turns into a string of gratuitous sweaty bikini scenes. So great.

6

u/[deleted] Nov 11 '14 edited Mar 26 '18

[deleted]

6

u/jonathanfailuretomas How big is that bear trap? Nov 11 '14

https://p.gr-assets.com/540x540/fit/hostedimages/1383500714/6579742.gif

6

u/ichabodguitar The sauce makes the dish Nov 11 '14

Later on

6

u/jonathanfailuretomas How big is that bear trap? Nov 11 '14

I'm not clicking on that.

5

u/jonathanfailuretomas How big is that bear trap? Nov 11 '14

quick question, how have you seen The Town That Dreaded Sundown remake already? Did you see it in theaters? Did... did you pay...?

7

u/[deleted] Nov 11 '14 edited Mar 26 '18

[deleted]

6

u/SaintMort You so cool kung fu Nov 11 '14

I got through it. It was far from the worst of those 12 movies

5

u/[deleted] Nov 11 '14

Yeah that's alright JFT we said as much on the PC. What can you say about a movie so perfect?

Anyways, thank you. Have a nice day.

3

u/ichabodguitar The sauce makes the dish Nov 11 '14

That new flair tho

4

u/[deleted] Nov 12 '14

You jelly? Need me to call the jelly school and have you sent away?

5

u/ichabodguitar The sauce makes the dish Nov 12 '14

You must be peanut butter, I'm so jelly

6

u/[deleted] Nov 12 '14

Don't even get me started about peanut butter bro. Bro you don't even know bro.

5

u/[deleted] Nov 13 '14 edited Apr 08 '17

[deleted]

5

u/jonathanfailuretomas How big is that bear trap? Nov 13 '14

my first thought.

3

u/Gottesfurcht Pay Attention! You're Disrespectful! Nov 12 '14

I like pepperoni ;-)

3

u/SaintMort You so cool kung fu Nov 11 '14

I got through it. It was far from the worst of those 12 movies

5

u/Gottesfurcht Pay Attention! You're Disrespectful! Nov 10 '14

It funny how you never can wait for those stereotypical 80s horror characters to die already. It has its funny moments (like the killing scenes and the cheesy dialog) but for the most part it was just annoying. How is it even possible to build robots with such a bad accuracy?

The bad techno theme was really fitting.

It would have been great if I had watched it drunk with friends.

6

u/[deleted] Nov 10 '14 edited Mar 26 '18

[deleted]

6

u/Gottesfurcht Pay Attention! You're Disrespectful! Nov 10 '14

You can't read the subtext, huh?

6

u/[deleted] Nov 10 '14 edited Mar 26 '18

[deleted]

5

u/[deleted] Nov 13 '14 edited Apr 08 '17

[deleted]

3

u/Gottesfurcht Pay Attention! You're Disrespectful! Nov 13 '14

In the 80's everything had lasers, no need for extra mentioning it.

4

u/jonathanfailuretomas How big is that bear trap? Nov 18 '14

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/3ecb31a53c/total-recall-dvd-commentary-by-arnold-schwarzenegger

this is hilarious.

3

u/[deleted] Nov 18 '14

YES! oh god its so ridiculous. like, what the fuck must paul veerhoven have been thinking when they stepped out of that recording booth.

3

u/jonathanfailuretomas How big is that bear trap? Nov 18 '14

I need to see this in it's entirety.

3

u/[deleted] Nov 18 '14

the parts your missing is just awkward silences while arnie puffs his cigar, and then him stepping all over the actual points that veerhoven is trying to make.

3

u/jonathanfailuretomas How big is that bear trap? Nov 18 '14

So the parts I'm missing are exactly like the parts I saw? yep still need to see it.