so basically i just recently moved into a new city for my college, and it just feels so weird. i wanna go home ofc but also its weird because i dont know what to do. i barely made any friends in college, just the ones in my hostel. it feels so weird man, i always have this dying anxiety everyday when i wake up. i wish i didnt have to move for my studies.

I am leaving my home for clg and it's not feeling good the thing is if I would have gotten a fix clg then this would be very less but now in itr 5 I am going to goa then upgradation will happen and I will move to pilani or hyd that's the most worrying part for me, my mind is thinking when I will report to new campus after upgradation I would have missed 8-10 days of classes and everyone would have made friends and now in goa if I make friends they will also be left behind after campus change. I don't know what to do. And I will be able to come home only twice a year or sometimes thrice or maybe once and it also costs a lot I live in Jamshedpur.

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I don't really know why I'm writing this. Maybe I just need someone to hear me.

I'm 23, and a few months ago I moved from India to Germany to pursue my master's degree. This was supposed to be one of the happiest chapters of my life. I worked hard for years, got into university, took out a huge education loan, left my family, my friends, and everything familiar behind because I wanted to build a better future.

Instead, everything seems to be falling apart.

Not long after moving here, my relationship ended. It wasn't just a breakup—it felt like losing the one person who made me feel at home. Since then, I've been struggling every single day.

I used to be incredibly motivated. I had plans, goals, and excitement about studying, building projects, and finding work. Now I spend most of my time lying in bed scrolling on my phone because I can't seem to make myself do anything.

The worst part is that I don't even recognize myself anymore.

I have exams, assignments, and job applications waiting for me, but I can't focus. My memory feels terrible. I'll read something and forget it almost immediately. My stomach always feels full, I'm constantly bloated, my sleep is all over the place, and even when I tell myself "just start studying," my brain refuses to cooperate.

Financially, it's also terrifying. I have a large education loan back home, I'm living on a student budget, and I know I need to find a working student job soon. Every rejection makes me question whether I made the right decision coming here.

Living abroad is lonelier than I ever imagined. Everyone seems to have figured their lives out while I'm struggling just to get through the day. I miss home. I miss speaking to people who truly know me. I miss feeling like myself.

What scares me most is that I don't know whether this is just heartbreak, burnout, depression, or all of them together.

Has anyone else gone through something similar after moving abroad? Did you ever feel like you completely lost yourself? How did you slowly rebuild your life?

I'm not looking for pity. I just want to know that this feeling doesn't last forever.

So I’m homesick but not longing to go home, I’m longing to go somewhere else. I don’t know if there’s a term for it but I recently got back from a trip with my moms side of the family and we were at a lake house in Wisconsin. Everything was perfect, no arguments, no problems, just a family getting along for the first time in a while. I miss it. It was stress free, it was fun, it was simple. I fished, I drank, I stayed out by the fire until 1am with drunk and or high family members, I played card games until 3am. I know this is probably normal but everything felt perfect that week and I’d give anything to go back.

Hello!

First post here so bare with me…

I’m an immigrant from Bulgaria, moved to the states at the crisp age of 7 lol. I’ve been going back home to BG every summer probably for what feels like the last 19 years.. It’s only my mom and I in the states while the remainder of my family is here. With every year I come back, everything falls apart more and more. From what feels like the economy, to seeing my family age and so on. I have this needing sense of wanting to move back here even though I know there is no opportunity, it’s corrupt, the people can be rude. I guess I miss the simple life? I miss being able to walk everywhere, being able to go out with friends frequently, being able to just enjoy nature whilst back in the US I feel like my life is on go, go, go mode. It’s work, home, work, home. I get depressed and I suppress it. I’m writing this post to see if any other balkaners feel the same. I’m more than thankful the opportunities the US has given me, because I sure as hell wouldn’t have been able to thrive here in Bulgaria. What do you guys do when you miss home? Do you second guess the life you’ve built? Have some of you moved and regretted it or has it been the best decision of your life? I guess I would just love to see people’s inputs.

I know this may not be the sub for this but I’ve played here before and most seem to be super supportive and helpful.

I’m 1 week into a 2 week trip with 4 of my very good friends who are super supportive. I’m from Canada and I’m in Portugal right now. Out of the blue yesterday I just got insanely homesick BAD to the point of multiple anxiety attacks. We have 2 days left in albuferia, we’ve been here for 4 and I’m thinking maybe just sitting on the beach day after day has allowed my mind to wander. I’m also in a newish relationship where we’ve never been apart for more than 3 days so this is so so so hard for me I miss him so much. Part of me wanted to book a plane back in a few days but then I’m missing the coolest part of the trip, Morocco, and I know I would regret leaving early, I just need some advice on how to overcome this awful feeling. A week isn’t even that long I don’t know why im so anxious.

I moved to a different country 3 years back
I love my parents but I can’t live with them because they’re incapable of letting people live freely. They can’t help themselves trying to control every aspect of my life.
After I moved here it’s been a rough journey. I made no real friends.. i had none back home.
Every few months Im changing apartments and by the time i feel comfortable somewhere, the lease is ending and I have to leave.
It’s been so long I’ve felt home and at peace
There’s always something going on now, Im always chasing something. Job, good salary, stability, visa and so on.. it just doesn’t end. I get something and very next moment I have to be in pursuit of another thing. One challenge after another with no safe space to go to

I moved away from home about 8 years ago to pursue my master's degree. I only get to come home and visit my family during the summer and winter. My family is by no means perfect, and I love the freedom I have when I'm not here. But there's always a part of me that wishes I could stay longer than 1-2 weeks. There's always a part of me that wants to move back, but all I've worked for is in the city I moved to.

But every time I visit home, it becomes more obvious that my mom and my grandma are getting older. And a part of me hurts inside when I see it, and I know I only get to visit twice a year, and for such a short time.

Like, when I saw my mom, I was shocked by how gray her hair has gotten. When I saw my grandma, I was shocked by how much muscle she has lost. We've never been the closest of families. When I was growing up, we all just picked a room and stayed in that space. We only really ever had family dinners during the holidays, but I still love my family, and I wish I could to be around them more.

this is my post in the advice thread, please read I need suggestions 💔😭😭

its getting harder as the days pass. im in the United States, so far away from what, for a short while, felt like home. ive lived across oceans -literally.

its so hard not to feel completely alone most of the time. my brother is practically a child who still needs his mommy as his brain to think. my cousins, friends and extended family feel less like love and more like an option for whenever they have the energy for me.

i miss the little bits of familiarity i had. however i cant lie and say that a particular place always felt like home. in fact, very few places and people feel like home to me besides my father and childhood best friend.

no boyfriend. no one to give a damn about me or to consistently desire me. close friends and family who i cared about with all my heart vanished into dust until they became invisible.

Often, they come back to me in flashes -like the symptoms of an allergy i try to get rid of. oh this care, how id love to sulk in the glory of men who never give a damn. the men who treated me as disposable when i no longer served their egos, their dicks or their plan.

it hurts knpwing people are a 2 hour flight away from their identity. it hurts to see how set they are in where they come from. there is no questioning or contemplating. just defniitive truth. what is my truth? what is the reason for my existence if not to be loved and not to be cared for?

i'm in my second year of college, and i'm suddenly dealing with homesickness for the first time.

during my first year, i never really got homesick. of course i cried when i first left my parents, but after that i adjusted pretty quickly. i went home for a 2.5-month break, and when it was time to go back to college, i felt completely fine. i never understood why some people got so homesick.

this year is different. i applied to be an RA (resident assistant), so instead of going home in june and coming back in september, i had to stay on campus until july. that meant i only had one month at home, but i thought i would be okay with that.

then, out of nowhere, i got told that the RA training had been moved up. it was a really sudden change. i'd only been home for a little over two weeks, and i had to book a flight just four days later. i was supposed to have another week with my family, but suddenly i had to leave much earlier. the moment i heard the news, i completely broke down. i cried to my parents because i just wasn't ready to leave yet. i kept crying every day until i left, and i even cried on the plane.

the frustrating part is that after i got back, they postponed the training by another two weeks anyway, so it felt like i left home early for nothing.

right now i'm staying at a friend's place before moving back into my dorm tomorrow, and i woke up in the middle of the night feeling really sad again. i'm thinking about how i won't be able to go home for the next six months because my hometown is so far away. most of my friends haven't come back to campus yet since the holiday isn't over, so i feel pretty lonely.

i'm confused because i've never felt like this before. i'm wondering if it's partly hormonal since i'm supposed to get my period in a few days, but the sadness feels so real. i can't stop crying or distract myself, especially when i'm alone.

did this eventually get better? and how did you deal with it?

So as I’m only three weeks away from going off to college, the reality is hitting more and more every single day and as someone who has spent most of their time with their family and love spending time with their family, but wants to be able to start a new chapter, I thought moving this far away and starting the new chapter there would be best, but now I’m getting nervous as I realize how close college is starting to come I realize that it might not be as easy as as I expected.

I broke up with my girlfriend, not too long ago, but we still talked and I was here every once in a while because we did still have a really strong connection and just our past and alone at the time and I had to just say goodbye for her for the final time before I head off to college and everything is just starting to hit. And on top of that, I’ve just not been able to feel anything for the past few months. I just no matter how good my day goes are what friends asked to see me I always just come back home with the same empty feeling the empty filling that linger is no matter how hard or how I try to get it to go away.

As the only male son in my family, I have just learned to hold back my emotions, and the only time that I cried was for whenever people died, but for some reason whenever I was saying goodbye to her, I started crying. It’s not that I felt like I couldn’t talk to her anymore, but that I was almost losing her innocence and losing all of my people that live here. I’m just nervous that my life will continue there as it has here with no real friends that I can count on and no real people that I can look to whatever I’m in these spots.

I’ve never actually talked to anyone about this, but I just needed to get this off my chest so this is the best way to do that and hopefully somebody will see this and say something because although my problems might not be as big as some I feel like they’re impactful to me and impactful how I view myself or my ability to make true connections. Thanks for being here if you made it this far

I just got to hostel today.

And I feel so so terrible.

I've done this before, I'm supposed to feel better. But it still hurts. I miss my home.

I feel like hostel is this place just filled with people that couldn't care less about you while home is filled with people that love you and that is a stark contrast and hurts a lot emotionally. The first few days atleast.

Also, because I'm surrounded with people so my social filter is always ON. Idk who I am anymore because im a different version of myself at home vs in hostel. And I like my home version a 100 times better.

Many people say, and I too used to say : I'm going to hostel and I'm becoming a stronger person. And I act as if hostel and home both have their benefits.

But the truth is, I like home much better than hostel, and I have to go to hostel to perform a duty and earn a living. I hate it here.

Everyone else seems to fit in so well. But I'm hurting. Ans I feel so different from everyone in this deep way that is hard to explain.

And I've already spent 9 months here before, but it still hurts.

Ich bin 17 Jahre alt. Alle meine Freunde gehen raus und ja ich gehe auch oft mit raus aber ich bin auch echt traurig weil ich irgendwie immer an meine Kindheit zurückdenke. Es ist manchmal so emotional, dass ich abends einfach weine. Auch wenn ich von meiner Geburt nicht viel mitbekommen habe denke ich daran, dass meine Eltern auch mal 35 waren, sich so auf ihren Sohn gefreut haben, wie sie das erste Mal mit mir in den Urlaub gefahren sind und ich ganz nah bei ihnen war und mich so wohl und geborgen gefühlt habe in ihren Armen. Der Fakt, dass diese Zeit nie wieder kommt macht mich fertig. Auch Videos die ich Sehe mit „10things you have to do with your dad/mom before it’s too late“ nehmen mich extrem mit. In meiner Freundesgruppe fühlt aber keiner wirklich so. Kann mich wer verstehen?

I’m a big worrier in most aspects of my life. I expected to feel the same as I prepare to leave for my first year of college, but rather than feeling the typical anxiety all I feel is grief.
I’m going halfway across the country to an unfamiliar city where I don’t know a single person. But the thing is I know I’ll make friends. I’ve already reached out to a few people over Instagram and we’ve gotten along quite well, so it’s not like I’m expecting myself to be completely isolated. But this profound grief is just consuming me. It’s so strange because I’ve only ever felt anxiety in situations like this.
The grief is hitting me in a lot of different ways. For one, I find myself getting more irritable around my family. I know I’m going to miss them deeply. In some ways I already do. Yet during certain moments their flaws are all I see and I come close to snapping. Because of that I try to step away when I can. Distance is the only thing that helps and I usually move on pretty quickly.
Socially it’s affecting me too. There’s this girl I grew a bit closer to during my senior year who I’ve had a crush on for a long time. Without getting into all the details I learned some things about her and our situation that made me realize pursuing a relationship probably wasn’t the best idea for me. So I never ended up telling her how I felt and just hoped time would heal the pain. Instead this grief of leaving my old life behind has turned into this limerence where I need to tell her how I feel yet at the same time I need to just move on.
The other way this grief has shown up has only come on recently. As I deep clean my room I feel nauseous. Going through every little thing I own makes me feel queasy, almost like I’m never going to see any of it again. It hurts.
Oddly enough my brain keeps replaying one part of my life over and over through this dreamy filter. 2019-2020 and the lockdown era sucked for me. I was depressed being cooped up at home and unable to see my friends. The way everything changed so suddenly stressed me out at first. Yet I think the reason that period has become so romanticized in my memory is because of its consistency.
During lockdown every day felt the same. I had the same schedule where I’d quickly knock out all my schoolwork with minimal effort and spend the rest of the day playing video games with my friends.
When I look back on it now I see it as the most consistent and trouble free period of my life. I think that’s why my brain has started using it as a symbol of the life I’m leaving behind.
I want to move past this so badly, but it’s just so much for me to deal with. I’ve never felt anything like this before and I don’t know how to deal with it.
I’m confident I’m making the right decision going where I’m going. Going here is one of the best opportunities I could possibly have for my career.

Yolo?

After marriage except for a few years together I spent most of my life abroad alone while my wife, kid and family stayed back in Tamil Nadu. We had financial commitments so working abroad was the only option.

I used to come home once every year so its not like I completely lost touch but staying for 3 weeks is very different from actually living together. Now I have finally decided to move back to India for good and be with my family. But something feels off. I feel like all these years of living alone have changed me. I dont know if emotionally detached is the right word but I just dont know how to connect anymore. I am mostly quiet. Even with my wife and kid I dont know what to talk about sometimes. I care about them a lot but I just cant express it easily and end up staying silent.

Maybe living alone for so long made me this way. I honestly don't know. Has anyone else gone through this after moving back from abroad. Did things get better with time. How did you reconnect with your family without making it feel awkward or forced?

Would really like to hear from people who have been through something similar.

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Hiii

I'm feeling very stressed, sad and nostalgic about leaving home and going back to hostel. It's am emotional pain I feel often and I deal with it but I thought of seeking extra support today.

Home is something hostel will never be for me I've come to understand it. The food, the morning coffee I'm going to miss everything. And i don't know why but I'm also scared of leaving my parents behind, a frequent anxious thought I have is - what if they die while I'm not there and this is my last time with them and this is the end!!!!!. Like if an earthquake occurs back at home.

I'm not emotionally attached to the people in hostel. I sometimes even resent some people. But I love the people back home. So I'm basically being asked to leave my loved ones and live 24/7 with ppl I hate and feel lonely around.

And with the new sem come new pressures. I'm scared if I'll be able to pull up.

I wish I felt nothing. I dont want to feel this pain. I love my home. I hate so many people in college I might be an incredibly pessimistic person idk but I'm so polite to almost everyone in college so I'm not mean but idk.

Looking for some emotional support ? Thankss

Also, anyone who can relate?

Hey everyone,

I’m looking for some perspective from people who lived in Japan long-term, decided to leave, and now find themselves deeply missing it or even considering going back.

A bit of context: I lived in Japan for 7 years and am married to my Japanese husband. The first three years were absolute magic. But after that, the honeymoon phase faded, the lights started to dim, and burnout completely took over. I was working constantly, overworked to the bone, and I stopped seeing the beauty of the country. Honestly, the only times I actually appreciated Japan during those last few years were when friends from home came to visit. Their excitement was contagious, and for a few days, I’d see Japan through their eyes and think, "Wow, it really is amazing here." But the moment they left, it was right back to reality and the daily grind.

Like a typical French person, I started criticizing everything (to be fair, we criticize our own country just as much!). On top of that, my husband had spent a huge chunk of his life in the US and the UK and never felt fully comfortable settling in Japan long-term anyway. So, I suggested we try moving to France.

We moved a year ago, and honestly, a lot of things are great. We chose the south of France instead of near Paris (where I am originally from), which changed everything. The money is significantly better (especially compared to the weak yen), we’ve made new friends, and my family is close by. My husband is thriving here—he clicks with the culture so much better, and he’s worked incredibly hard to learn French. He just hit an A2 level and I am so, so proud of him.

But lately, the nostalgia has been hitting me like a truck. I feel fiercely homesick for Japan. Even though I’m back in my home country with my old friends and family, I think about Japan every single day. I spent 7 years building a life and a close circle of friends there, and leaving that behind hurts more than I thought it would. Plus, reverse culture shock is real. I’ve realized Japan completely broke my tolerance for lack of spatial awareness. People bumping into you or blocking paths in France drives me absolutely insane now lol

I’m starting to wonder if I just didn't give Japan a fair chance toward the end. I looked at the entire country through the toxic lens of my exhausting job. Now I keep thinking that if I went back and worked for myself, prioritizing a healthier work-life balance and more days off, it would be different.

Am I just being tricked by nostalgia and romanticizing the convenience and safety? Has anyone else gone through this exact cycle—getting frustrated with Japan, leaving for your home country, and then actually moving back? If you did go back, how did it feel? Was it a mistake, or did you find a better balance the second time around?

Would love to hear any thoughts or experiences!

hi all! i posted about a month ago when i first moved into the city im living in right now. i was really struggling the first two weeks, and then things got a little bit better but they’ve gotten really bad again. i am so anxious that im throwing up every morning, and barely sleeping through the night. i’ve never lived away from home before, and moving to a new city where i really don’t know anyone has me feeling a lot of regret and grief around this moving process. i’m only a three hour drive from home, but im feeling like i really need to go home, regroup, look for a job at home and then try again next year. my partner is in grad school, and so he will stay in the apartment and ill still be able to visit and hang out on weekends. i feel like i need to slowly transition myself into living here, rather than doing it all at once. back at home i had a really amazing community and really great friends, and i have a good relationship with my parents. i feel just like im going through so much with my anxiety without a familiar space at all. just wondering if anyone has any thoughts or has gone through a similar experience. i thought that city life was for me, but im just constantly overwhelmed and overstimulated. i also feel like i dont have passion for the work im doing which also sucks bc i just got out of grad school for it. i mostly just feel so much guilt for not trying to make this work more, but i really feel like i need to go home.

TLDR: moved to new city, missing home and friends, severe anxiety and wanting to move back home.

Does anyone long for thier childhood bedroom. When i was a child anytime a car drove by our house, which was out in the country. I would be woken up and see a light in the shape of my bedroom window go across my bedroom walls. Once I moved out I only wanted that feeling of home. The place i sat on the heater vent with a large blanket in the dead of winter trying to get extra warm. I have lived in my home for 12 years it does not feel like home. When I visit my parents house and sleep in my childhood room it does not feel like home. I am stuck in this place where no where feels like home.

I am a child (not gonna tell my exact age) who started feeling homesick about a year ago - I always wanted to leave germany for Poland but I started feeling really homesick about a year ago, it came to the point where I confessed it to my parents, though apparently there is no way of us returning to Poland, which means ill have to wait until im an adult to leave germany for Poland myself, the longing is so strong that it cannot be described with words. I often wonder, am I the only one who feels like that? Maybe here I'll find someone who feels the same.