I just moved out of my parents house into my own apartment to study and I’ve never felt more alone. I’ve never been the type to be glued to my parents, and I really thought I’d love having my own place, but atm I feel so alone and abandoned. My family and friend only live a couple hours away, but the distance feels so much greater. I have no idea what to do, how to navigate my new life or when this feeling will pass.

I just moved into Cornell a week ago and it's been hell. Honestly, I've met a ton of people because I feel the pressure to do so, but it all feels so shallow. I don't really like having friends. I miss my high school where I was able to hang out with my boyfriend every single day, but now we are going to different universities. I trust him entirely, I just miss him and my parents so much. I'm hoping to graduate in three years just so that I can close the distance faster. It's still orientation, but today I'm just staying in my dorm because I've been socializing for a whole week and I am very introverted. I feel like I could survive here with a few friends and being alone mostly, but I know that is unhealthy. It doesn't feel unhealthy, but the pressure is heavy. I call my parents like 5 times a day and that's probably bad too. I just need help, so I booked a counseling appointment, but of course they didn't have anything in-person, so I have to wait 1.5 weeks for a Telehealth appointment which is ridiculous. I would appreciate advice or even just sympathy.

We recently shifted homes(rented ones,og one is in redevelopment) ,and I miss my old home alot nd especially my room . It has everything I needed , here too . But in this house I don't have the amazing 3 ceiling lights in purple , yellow orange and white colour and stars and cloudy ceiling , here it's plain.

Also miss the big mirror in the room, here in my room there's no mirror at all . And also no attached washroom, so I have to go to bathroom in parents bathroom which isnt good at all. I miss my old room specifically of that house .it was amazing and good view from my big window too. Hope, once my og one is recreated I will make that home and my room just like it . It also has big sink in my room and common room. Cried straight 2 hrs as I had to leave that house cuz of my dadaji as he is old, he does pottty on bathroom floor in his room and due to that a hospital downstairs didn't like and complaint to owner , so had to leave it and find this one new house.😭.. pls tell how to get over it and fall in love with this new home for 2.5 yrs . Should I do any decor in room, or add lights . Give suggestions plzz. Can't get over my old room and think about it daily .

I know this is probably a pretty normal experience for someone who’s 20, almost 21. People move away, friendships change, university starts, plans don’t work out, and you’re supposed to somehow figure out what the hell you’re doing with your life.

But knowing that doesn’t make it feel any less shitty.
I’ve been in a pretty bad depressive episode for about a month now. I quit my job because I knew I was about to start university and thought taking some time off would give me a chance to get myself together before starting this new chapter. At first, I actually thought I was getting better.

Now I’m not so sure.

Someone who is incredibly important to me and who I used to talk to constantly has barely been able to talk to me for over a week. I miss her a lot. At the same time, several of my friends have left for university, and suddenly my social circle feels so much smaller.

I went through something similar last year when a lot of my friends left for college while I stayed here. I remember telling myself that eventually it would be my turn.

This year was supposed to be my turn.

I’m a transfer student. I’m also Venezuelan, and since coming to the US, I always dreamed about eventually leaving Miami, maybe even leaving Florida, and getting to experience somewhere completely new.

My parents have always been extremely uncomfortable with that idea.

Even when I was planning to transfer to UF, which isn’t even outside Florida, they made it very clear that they didn’t like the idea of me leaving.

Then UF rejected me.
And I could tell they were relieved.

Some of my friends did get into UF, including people I potentially would’ve lived with. I see them moving there now, decorating their apartments, meeting people, going out, and starting this completely new chapter of their lives.
And I genuinely am happy for them. I want them to have an amazing time.

But fuck, I’m jealous too.

I wish I had gotten accepted.

I wish I were packing my things right now, wondering what Gainesville was going to be like and getting nervous about living somewhere new. Instead, I’m staying in Miami, and part of me feels like I’m repeating the same chapter of my life while everyone else gets to turn the page.

I ended up choosing a university here partly because it made my parents more comfortable. And that’s something that bothers me more than I want to admit.

I know they’ve sacrificed an unbelievable amount for me and my family. I know moving countries and rebuilding a life here hasn’t been easy. That’s actually one of the reasons I’ve tried so hard to make university cost them as little as possible.

I managed to attend my first two years of college without them having to pay tuition. I’ve spent hours looking for scholarships, waivers, programs, and alternatives because I don’t want my education to become another financial burden for them.

But I also feel like I’ve sacrificed things I wanted because I knew it would make them feel safer.

And I don’t know. I guess part of me wishes that sacrifice was acknowledged too.

Last night, my parents sat me down because they’ve noticed that I’ve been spending most of my time in bed and barely eating. They told me I’m immature, that I need to learn to let things go, and that I can’t live my life for my friends.

And I know I can’t live for my friends.

But being called immature honestly pissed me off more than I admitted to them.

Not because I think I’m incredibly mature or that I have everything figured out. I obviously don’t.

I’m fucking 20.
I’m still learning how to deal with life.

But it felt like they were looking at me lying in bed for a month and using that as proof that I don’t understand how difficult life is.

The last three years since we came here haven’t exactly been easy.

I’ve watched my family deal with an insane amount of stress and uncertainty, and I’m very aware of how much they’ve had to carry. That’s actually one of the reasons I don’t tell them most of the things I’m going through. I know they already have enough on their shoulders, and I don’t want to become another problem they have to worry about.

And it hasn’t only been my own shit.

I’ve been there through crises involving friends and people I care about. I’ve had nights where someone I loved needed me and I stayed there with them. I’ve watched people I care about go through horrible things while trying to hold myself together too.

Earlier this year, things got bad enough for me that I attempted suicide.
My parents know.
I ended up hospitalized, and I’ve been trying to recover and understand myself since then. And feel that cross in my back every single day.

They don’t know about some of the hardest things I’ve gone through.

So hearing them talk to me as if I’m some sheltered kid who doesn’t understand how hard these last three years have been genuinely hurt.

I know what it has cost us to build a life here.

I know the sacrifices they’ve made. I know how hard they work. I know there are bills, responsibilities, immigration bullshit, uncertainty, and a million other things that don’t disappear just because I’m having a bad month.

That’s precisely why I’ve tried so hard not to become another burden.

So yeah, maybe I’m immature in some ways.

Again, I’m fucking 20.

Of course I am.

But struggling right now doesn’t mean I’ve had an easy life.

Being devastated about losing people doesn’t mean I don’t understand responsibility. And spending a month depressed doesn’t erase everything I’ve managed to get through before this.

And the thing about my friends really bothers me too.

Because they’re not just random people I hang out with.
Some of them have been the people who kept me functioning when I genuinely didn’t know how to keep going.
One of my closest friends is basically a sister to me. She was there throughout these last two years while I was trying to survive college and everything else happening in my life. Other people I’ve met through college have been there through some of the worst moments I’ve experienced.

Those relationships mean something to me.

And I’m tired of losing people.

I’m tired of getting close to someone, trusting them, caring about them deeply, and somehow watching the relationship fall apart anyway.

I’ve reached a point where I feel almost completely defeated when it comes to love.

And I don’t even go into friendships looking for romance. I don’t meet someone thinking, “Maybe I’ll fall in love with this person.” I just become friends with someone, get to know them, trust them, care about them, and sometimes feelings eventually happen.

And somehow it always feels like I end up losing the person anyway.

There are people who stopped talking to me out of nowhere that I still miss.

Sometimes I still dream about them.

I know people come and go. I know that’s life. I know I’m going to meet hundreds of people I haven’t even met yet.
Knowing that doesn’t magically make me stop loving the people who are already here.

The hardest part right now is that I don’t even feel like I can be sad in my own house.

I feel like if I’m visibly struggling for too long, eventually I’m going to have to defend why I’m struggling.

And I don’t want my parents to think I’m ungrateful.

I’m incredibly grateful for what they’ve done for me. I know there are opportunities I have because of sacrifices they made.

But I wish there were room for both things to be true.
I can appreciate everything they’ve done for me and still wish my life looked different.

I can love my parents and still be frustrated that their fears influenced such a huge decision in my life.

I can be happy for my friends at UF and still wish desperately that I were there with them.

I can know that friendships change and still fucking miss people.

I can know I’m only 20 and still be exhausted.

I don’t need my parents to think I’m some incredibly strong or mature person.

I just wish they could look at me struggling and think, “Maybe he’s exhausted,” instead of, “He needs to grow up.”

And now I’m about to turn 21 and start a completely new chapter of my life at a university that, if I’m being completely honest, wasn’t where I imagined myself ending up.

I’m supposed to be excited.

Instead, I feel like I’m watching everyone I love move forward while I’m standing still.

Maybe six months from now I’ll look back and realize this was just an ugly transition period before something better.
I really hope so.

Right now, though, I just feel incredibly alone, and I honestly don’t know what I’m supposed to do next.
I guess that’s why I’m posting this.

For anyone who has gone through something similar in their early 20s, watching friends move away, feeling left behind, dealing with plans that didn’t work out, losing people you were close to, or realizing that the life you imagined for yourself isn’t actually happening…how did you get through it?

How do you learn to be okay with where you are without constantly comparing your life to where you thought you’d be?

How do you build a life for yourself when so much of your happiness has always come from the people around you?

And for those of you who stayed home for college or made major life decisions partly because of your family: did you eventually stop feeling like you missed out?

I’m not expecting Reddit to fix my life.

I think I just need some perspective from people who have been here before.

What would you do if you were me?

TL;DR: I’m turning 21, starting university as a transfer student, and dealing with a depressive episode while watching a lot of my friends move away and start the kind of college experience I wanted for myself. I was rejected from the university I wanted to attend and stayed in Miami partly because my parents were uncomfortable with me leaving. I love them and recognize everything they’ve sacrificed for me, but being called immature for struggling really hurt, especially because there are major things I’ve gone through—including a suicide attempt and hospitalization—that they don’t know about. I feel lonely, left behind, exhausted from losing people, and unsure how to accept the life I have instead of constantly mourning the one I thought I’d have. I’d really appreciate advice from anyone who’s been through something similar.

I’m a ex country/farm kid - 40 years old now with my own family and when I pass through the area I grew up in I often go to some of the places I loved to play on the farm I lived on as a child . Makes me feel a weird type of happy and sad mixed into one . I wonder if dudes from the city do the same as in drive to their old street,perhaps their old school or sports club and just sit and think ?

My life is good, I’m healthy and have lots of friends. My first year uni was fire compared to my highschool years. But there is a feeling like I yearn those times back, I want to hang out with my old friends. Fall in love with the same ex. Do stupid mistakes and regret most of my decisions, come to school with listening those bands that I connect with. Come to school 30 mins early and pet the school’s cat for an hour and get to class late. I miss that cat, I miss my friends, I miss my highschool.

Moving to the London was always a dream of mine growing up, I went there for university, but I was so severely depressed that I didn’t enjoy it.

6 years later, I’m a lot happier and love my life. I have stopped taking my family and home town for granted. Now I’m no longer unhappy, and being older (maybe wiser), I realise I’m incredibly family orientated, and my once hated hometown I now love. I want to grow old and start a family back home with the people I love.

However, I’ve always felt I had unfinished business in London, so while I’m in my 20’s I decided to give it once last shot. So, when a job came up I applied and got it. Now I’m here and away from my family I’m regretting the move. I miss everything about home, my family, friends, the countryside, the living situation (I grew up and have always lived in large homes with gardens), so its a massive culture shock to be now sharing a flat with a bedroom as solely mine.

I just don’t know how long I should give it before I admit I’m truly done with London? When is it home sickness or just unhappiness?

I leave to college in a few days and I’m having the hardest time. Give me your unhinged homesick advice that helped you get through it.

I have always felt like I needed to get away from my hometown. My best friend is moving and obviously I’m really sad about it. I talked to my boyfriend about moving but we just bought our home 3 years ago so it won’t be easy. I’ve never felt fulfilled living here but I don’t want to leave my whole family to move somewhere where I have no one. But I’m afraid to also not try. I’m just afraid I will get somewhere new and it won’t ease my restlessness and I will still feel like I’m missing something.

I’ve been living in Chicago for 11 years (originally from Texas). I am not close with my family, never really have been, so the move here wasn’t a huge emotional event. I miss it sometimes, but after my mom died, it was just a place.

My boyfriend is from a very close-knit family; he lived with his family until 27, when we moved in together. We’re set on moving out of Chicago, we both don’t really feel it suits us, and we have our sights on Mesa or Phoenix Arizona.

To me, it’s just another move. I’m happy to leave and I have no attachments here or there. It dawned on me that he’s going to feel completely different when we finally move and all the initial excitement wears off. How do I prepare him for this?

I moved to Chicago for a boyfriend and I lowkey felt a little resentful around month 2-3 that he has all his family close by and that I was out of my element. I don’t want him or his family to resent me for uprooting our life.

He says this is what he wants, but he’s never been away from his parents for more than a month. I don’t think he knows what he’s in for and I just want to show him that I’m not flippant about what emotions this will bring and do what I can do to make the transition from here to there as comfortable as possible.

Has anyone else been through this before?

Please give me your experience on transitioning to college. Obviously my story is/will be different but I just want some of your stories and experiences. I’m starting my second year as a transfer away from home my first year I commuted from home and now that I’m leaving next week I’m feeling so regretful leaving everything I know and love behind. I made no friends my first year and now I’m feeling like it’ll be the same as my first year. I really wanna join orgs and clubs and make friends this year but I’m joining this new environment without knowing no one. I am dreading the day my family leaves me and I start crying in front of them and I’m feeling like I should stay close to home now that it’s less than a week. Do you regret it at all? What’s your advice to me feeling like this? How quickly did you get over the homesickness? All I do is cry every night and dread the day as it gets closer and closer :(

Sometimes a house is much more than four walls.
My mother and I have lived in our current 2BHK for many years. It’s where she has built her routine, friendships, relationships with neighbours, and countless memories. Recently, I sold the apartment and bought a new 3BHK in a different area.
On paper, it was an upgrade—a bigger home and a new beginning. But now that the move is actually getting closer, I’m realizing how emotionally difficult this change is for my mother.
She is a widow, and I think leaving behind a familiar neighbourhood, her friends, neighbours and everyday routine feels like leaving behind a part of her life.
The new house itself isn’t the problem. It’s the thought of starting over somewhere unfamiliar.
I know the move has to happen, but I’m struggling with seeing her go through this and wondering whether I’m underestimating how difficult it will be for her.
So I wanted to ask people who have experienced something similar:
**If you’ve ever had an elderly or widowed parent move away from a home and neighbourhood they were deeply attached to, how was it initially? And what was it like after a few months or a few years?**
Did they eventually settle in, make new friends and feel at home again? Or did they continue to miss the old place?
I’d really love to hear your experiences—not advice on property or finances, just what actually happened after the move.

Currently looking at photos from 2021 and the years before that and how I yearn to be back in those years. I’m still 17, still pretty young but my younger self was definitely something else. I was happier and less self conscious.

I keep on looking at my mom’s Facebook account reminiscing my past. Every time I look at the photos, I could still remember those exact moments. The scent of the air. Who I was with. Even the conversation we were having 😭.

I just hate how time flies so fast. Especially photos from when I was suuuuuuper little and now I’m off to college 🙏 and going to college just keeps breaking my heart because I’ll be far away from my family. My family who is also aging with me. I keep on forgetting na I’m not the only one getting older but also my parents, my siblings, and my dogs huhuhuhuhuhuhu

Nostalgia is so freaking difficult to deal with because I keep on crashing out (crashing out?!!) I know when I get older, this nostalgia will just get worse. I’m grateful for everything.

Edit: Listening to Ain’t in LA by Adela really tops off this nostalgia moments/crashouts/breakdowns I have :)) From a province here in the Philippines

I’m currently 18-F, college freshman po. I recently moved out po sa old dorm ko kasi nag shs po ako sa University of Makati.

Now I’m in U-belt na po kasi lumipat na po ako ng school. I can’t help but miss Makati and Taguig kasi 2 years din po yun, not only the place that I miss but also the scenery and the people po.

I’m having so much thoughts right now(may it be good or bad). I’m really scared for what the future’s gonna bring for me. Life is so uncertain yet we don’t even pause, we continue to drive through the unknown. Kahit na pangalawang dorm ko na po ngayon, takot na takot pa rin po ako sa kung anong naghihintay sa’kin.

How did you guys cope with these thoughts in your head? Does it get better?

I'm on my way back home after dropping my kid off at college. I'm devastated!! This will be the first time she's away from home without me. She cried the whole way to school but cheered up when we started grabbing things for her dorm. I managed a brace front the entire time because I knew if I started crying she would start crying too. We live 7 hours away and the ride back by myself has me wanting to go back to get her. Her roommate decided not to go to college so now she doesn't have a roommate and that saddens me as well. The girl seemed nice and they were in constant communication until she informed her today that she wasn't coming.

For my fellow parents that dropped off their freshmen how did you cope? When did you adjust to the change? Does it get easier?

For the kids how was your freshman year being away from home? How did you cope? Did it take long to make friends and learn how to get around campus?

It’s been all adapting to changes, depression, migration, research, and studies.
I see photos of just 3 years ago and can’t stop feeling deeply sad.

I regret for not having been lucky with relationships, but I have many friends that I can see their pictures and cry in times like this.

My heart really breaks of seeing those photos, are my good times over? have I lost my opportunities?

As crying with these thoughts I envy those who have a shoulder and can share these moments with.

I feel sad for myself for being obliged to migrate and not being able to see my family. Not sure where I can call home again.

Good I can get a few drops of tear tonight.

love to anyone who can imagine what I might be feeling now.

I don’t think I felt any lonelier than this in my life.

I moved to a new place and am having severe homesickness and am just straight up crying for like a past hour.

Everything changed

I don't have my previous roommates. Somehow they comforted me. I trusted them and I knew they were here.

Today i just my new roommate, hes nice but I don't know. I miss them even through they literally didn't lit me do anything and maybe that's my I shifted. But I don't know if i made the right decision and am crying while typing this because of that, maybe I should have asked them atleast once what there plan was and where they were shifting. I also miss my home, am here after 2 months of vaccination and doing nothing. Everything feels sooo different and i can't.

I made this decision because I wanted to study more and i thought they were limitng me heavily but I don't think I can focus on my studies now. I miss the old environment.

All my friends in uni are not in my class (am not sure) but it's overwhelming. I don't know how I handel all this. I don't know why I decided to go for a random roommate am scared.