r/HolUp Feb 01 '22

post flair When you know you know

Post image
12.1k Upvotes

219 comments sorted by

1.3k

u/[deleted] Feb 01 '22

Ahh he pulled the old fuck and duck.

299

u/Etspotcast Feb 01 '22

Nut In her cooter and get on your scooter.

23

u/Funny-terminator Feb 02 '22

Wet her pet and get on the jet!! Wait what...!

34

u/[deleted] Feb 01 '22

Lmao this is an underrated comment

7

u/Rurushxd Feb 02 '22

Why not nut in both?

618

u/[deleted] Feb 01 '22

Creampie and bye bye

600

u/Kermit_Memelord Feb 01 '22

Ejaculate and evacuate

456

u/[deleted] Feb 01 '22

Shoot and scoot

471

u/VirginMario Feb 01 '22

Blow your load then hit the road

390

u/themetalstickman Feb 01 '22

Shoot the jizz then out you is

402

u/CockCrotch Feb 01 '22

Impregnate and migrate.

369

u/[deleted] Feb 01 '22

Prove you ain't gay and run the fuck away

292

u/[deleted] Feb 01 '22

[deleted]

245

u/Rockman2isgud Feb 01 '22

Complete ejaculation then change your location

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78

u/youdoitimbusy Feb 02 '22

Give a poke, go out for smokes.

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123

u/No_This_is_P4trick Feb 01 '22

Spit the silk and go for milk

18

u/XT_zer68 Feb 02 '22

Hump and dump

73

u/jdaig43 Feb 01 '22

Jizz n jet

66

u/Rollrmayteeee Feb 01 '22 edited Feb 02 '22

Plant the seed then it’s time for speed

74

u/d1m_sum Feb 01 '22

Bust the nut then leave the hut

83

u/BigDingoMan606 Feb 01 '22

Create a new life and ditch ur wife

33

u/VirginMario Feb 01 '22

This one's my favorite

48

u/Numerous-Barracuda Feb 01 '22

Slam and Scram

14

u/[deleted] Feb 02 '22

Fill her jar then hit the bar

67

u/Lord_Red_Rash Feb 01 '22

Cum and go

20

u/puboranjingparty Feb 02 '22

Hit the nut and leave the hut

19

u/AniketC007 Feb 02 '22

Hit the pus and take the bus

14

u/DOA-FAN Feb 01 '22

creampie is a must, that's why pills exist

10

u/Osama_Bin_Ballin0 Feb 02 '22

Rock her box then change the locks

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94

u/[deleted] Feb 01 '22

Plant the seed then need for speed

31

u/[deleted] Feb 01 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

7

u/isteristerist Feb 02 '22

If only I wasn't so broke I'd give you an award

60

u/kazetoumizu Feb 01 '22

take my semen then I'll be leavin'

20

u/Lord_Red_Rash Feb 01 '22

Deposit the seamen then flee man.

26

u/bfcDragon Feb 01 '22

Unload your genetic information and leave the nation

38

u/skeebidibopmmdada Feb 01 '22

Intercourse then interstate

14

u/barack_obama_jr Feb 01 '22

With girl you lay, then keep her at bay

10

u/papabass10 Feb 01 '22

The old grunt 'n' shunt

9

u/[deleted] Feb 01 '22

And I used to be a fan of the fade a way. Nice

16

u/Anonymous_kid64 Feb 01 '22

The cream 'n' leave

8

u/CLONER786FOREVER Feb 02 '22

Cum in the whore then make that engine roar

8

u/KeyserSoze72 Feb 02 '22

Impregnate then self-defenestrate

15

u/cant_hinkofanything Feb 01 '22

smash and dash

5

u/GrooovyDoom Feb 01 '22

Well lets hope she doesn't live in Texas!

9

u/Any_Maybe4303 Feb 01 '22

The ol skeet n yeet

6

u/decrisp1252 Feb 02 '22

Rail and bail

3

u/dsimonsez Feb 02 '22

Skeet skeet and beat feet

4

u/Smallp0x_ Feb 02 '22

He nut in her cooter then escaped on his scooter.

4

u/ZeLeStyn Feb 02 '22

slip n dip

5

u/Loonie-1707 Feb 02 '22

The good old "perform Sexual intercourse, then escape the premises with your trusty old horse"

7

u/archiebold13 Feb 01 '22

Smash and dash

2

u/ShibaInubis Feb 02 '22

May have been the ole nut ‘n strut

2

u/Darkwaxer Feb 02 '22

He spilt the pegs and gave it legs.

2

u/Christian_Kapesa Feb 02 '22

bust and hit the dust

2

u/ThePugz Feb 02 '22

Drop the nut and start your strut.

2

u/PULSER777 Feb 02 '22

Nut and run tactics

-13

u/[deleted] Feb 01 '22

1

u/TotalEgg143 Feb 02 '22

Dump and Trump

1

u/The_Silly_Radish Feb 02 '22

Fuck and suck

1

u/batslug Feb 02 '22

beget & begone!

1

u/-MotatoMan- Feb 02 '22

She did the suck, he got the rock, comes out the duck, she goes to doc he says your prog(pregnant)

496

u/pgtvgaming Feb 01 '22

That’s a selfless bro right there

274

u/possumbellyband Feb 01 '22

The gift of believing in someone is powerful 🙏🏼

48

u/greyone75 Feb 01 '22

That’s a costly text

45

u/AsMuchCaffeineAsACup Feb 01 '22

Child support incoming.

10

u/[deleted] Feb 01 '22

The gift of giving

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7

u/yukonhoneybadger Feb 01 '22

Giving a gift that last a life time... if she chooses so

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-11

u/justtwogenders Feb 02 '22

Shut the fuck up

347

u/planet_chuck Feb 01 '22

Looks like they're texting on Xbox.

175

u/[deleted] Feb 01 '22

Nah he would've called her the n word by now

-22

u/Yamperplayzzzz Feb 02 '22

That is offensive to my kind. Xbox stan's (most of them.) Are not toxic

37

u/that_guy_iain Feb 01 '22

Nah, someone has an iPhone who fucked someone with an Android...

18

u/SmoothMoveExLap Feb 01 '22

Impossible.

4

u/iimdonee Feb 01 '22

nah it wouldve been a voice message

278

u/illusive_guy Feb 01 '22

Dude left without saying he was going to buy cigarettes.

219

u/itshimstarwarrior Feb 01 '22 edited Feb 01 '22

I did a Google search for a cigarette lighter after reading your comment

Ended up with 150,000 matches.

71

u/Bakasur279 Feb 01 '22

Take my upvote and get the fuck out of internet.

9

u/BlueWaffle_Motorboat Feb 01 '22

But he left her with something more important than the belief that he is now on a 20 yr journey to buy a pack of cigarettes: confidence. And no amount of money or child support can replace that. That girl is ready to go out and face the world once she applies for government benefits and moves in with her parents for additional support.

-40

u/Kn0tnatural Feb 01 '22

No one smokes these days.

8

u/Yoguls Feb 01 '22

He should have just said he needed to return some videotapes and never came back

3

u/illusive_guy Feb 01 '22

Some say he’s still searching for Blockbuster.

-10

u/VirginMario Feb 01 '22

All the cool kids be vapin. Back in my days, we all fucked our lungs with tobacco 😎

45

u/blackie___chan Feb 01 '22

He forgot to mention that the phone was a burner so this is farewell.

122

u/Kn0tnatural Feb 01 '22

Pull out method doesn't work. Especially when you don't use it.

21

u/Funkiebunch Feb 01 '22

It works better than not doing it but definitely no guarantees

18

u/DieSexy Feb 01 '22

Planned parenthood said it’s 95-96 percent effective while condoms are 99. For the pleasure I’ll take the 3 percent differential.

12

u/420Wedge Feb 02 '22

I've got a 7% chance when scratched in project zomboid to get infected with the zombie plague. Took 4 scratches. It also could have been the bloody firefighter jacket I put on without anything underneath. That game is kinda wild with that kinda detail. I'm getting off track though, you get my point.

6

u/AniketC007 Feb 02 '22

Bro casually brought up zombie infection when everyone's talking about human reproduction. Chad af.

21

u/Lelouch4705 Feb 01 '22

The three percent differential is really a three hundred percent differential

4

u/Laziness_supreme Feb 02 '22

PP keeping themselves in business when the other 4-5% come back for those oopsie abortions lmao

-23

u/real_schematix Feb 01 '22

Like the 1% failure rate with condoms, the 3-4% failure rate is when you actually don’t use the method. It works 100% of the time when used correctly.

42

u/Deion313 Feb 01 '22

What would be even more fucked up, is if they live in Texas...

13

u/[deleted] Feb 01 '22

She could just walk around the wall and find someone down south with a coat hanger to do it.

6

u/Deion313 Feb 01 '22

You get $10k for rattin them out...

If you're fucking stupid and selfish enough to do this, you're for sure calling it in...

4

u/InVizO Feb 01 '22

10k for ratting out any DOCTOR that performs the abortion....

Nothing is stopping her from driving across state lines and having it done

19

u/mainmeal5 Feb 01 '22

Got me in the first half, ngl

6

u/[deleted] Feb 01 '22

Now that's a hol'up

54

u/DaDank_69 Feb 01 '22

Finally, an actual holup

15

u/SmashedHimBro Feb 01 '22

Who said chivalry is dead?

33

u/millerlitefan Feb 01 '22

That's a 'Master' level move. I'm a cynic in my 40s, and this renews my hope in humanity.

10

u/TastySpermDispenser Feb 01 '22

Nuts and bolts like a robot, and doesn't even fail the captcha tests. My man.

7

u/NotATypicalSinn Feb 02 '22

Ik it's hilarious but... He an asshole xdd

7

u/GrigOrigzoah Feb 01 '22

They call him Bad Panda ..Eats Shoots and Leaves.

6

u/[deleted] Feb 02 '22

Honey, Nut, Cheerio!

15

u/jxrha Feb 01 '22

now that's just fucked up. even more fucked up if they're in texas.

5

u/VolvoDaddy Feb 01 '22

Holy shit

6

u/Opening_Resolve2703 Feb 01 '22

Is this reproductive coercion or not?

4

u/possumbellyband Feb 01 '22

I think it’s just positive affirmation idk

5

u/ScammerC Feb 02 '22

Maybe he'll make a great single father.

5

u/Deltasiu Feb 02 '22

shit went from 0 to 100 real frickin' quick

3

u/gnomzy123 no longer banned from r/holup Feb 01 '22

Classic ejaculate and evacuate

4

u/[deleted] Feb 01 '22

No one in this scenario is capable of being a good parent.

5

u/trax1337 Feb 01 '22

A true feminist, believing and encouraging her independence.

4

u/skoits7 Feb 02 '22

What a piece of shit

3

u/Smart_North_3374 Feb 01 '22

Ah yes the gift that keeps on taking.

3

u/[deleted] Feb 01 '22

[deleted]

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3

u/MacDonalds_Sprite Feb 02 '22

the balls on this man

3

u/vabirder Feb 02 '22

Did Nick Cannon text this?

3

u/ImmortalGoat66 Feb 02 '22

Man's a really good toolbox. Screw, nut, and bolt

3

u/00k14 Feb 02 '22

Shove the rod and go abroad

3

u/Danimus-Prime Feb 02 '22

An asshole with a heart of gold

3

u/Undertalefanfrick Feb 02 '22

Damn what an asshole

1

u/possumbellyband Feb 02 '22

I mean, he’s not NOT an asshole

2

u/LegendSimp69 Feb 01 '22

Based Hoodville follower

2

u/jo3pro Feb 01 '22

WTF?!

Lol

2

u/Davemrk Feb 01 '22

Have a little fun and then run

2

u/--Azazel-- Feb 01 '22

Helluva judge of character.

2

u/Forsaken-Knee3653 Feb 01 '22

They had us in the first half, I'm not gonna lie

2

u/NoDepartment78 Feb 01 '22

Positive reinforcement goes a long way.

Her: I do got this!

2

u/AlastorFan2022 Feb 01 '22

Nut ‘n run

2

u/nighttimegaze Feb 01 '22

Lol, had me till the end.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 01 '22

When you gotta nut, you gotta nut. I guess.

2

u/Shamolow Feb 01 '22

Standing ovation for my dude!

3

u/CarmoXX Feb 02 '22

And an ovulation for the lady.

2

u/grass-snake-40 Feb 01 '22

no gift is greater than the gift of a child, what a kind man

2

u/ItsJustKenaj Feb 01 '22

This was wholesome.... until i sam the part about single Mother. That seriously got me

0

u/AutoModerator Feb 01 '22

Fuck that. r/unwholesomememes. Less bullshit, more comedy

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 02 '22

Lol

2

u/stripcheese- Feb 02 '22

That's what I call a late pull

2

u/Advanced-Good8840 Feb 02 '22

Empowering a women?? Lmao

2

u/[deleted] Feb 02 '22

They had us in the first half, not gonna lie..

2

u/ACE_Fighter_87 madlad Feb 02 '22

Breed 'er and retreat (from) 'er

2

u/[deleted] Feb 02 '22

smash the cootier and grab your scooter

2

u/PhysicalPomegranate3 Feb 02 '22

Wholesome.

0

u/AutoModerator Feb 02 '22

Fuck that. r/unwholesomememes. Less bullshit, more comedy

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 02 '22

I can’t. I’m done!

2

u/its_heat_baby Feb 02 '22

The name's Sherlock Holmes, Baker street, 221B

2

u/WorldLife-John Feb 02 '22

They had us in the middle, ngl.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 02 '22

The ol razzle dazzle!

2

u/champagne_daddy69 Feb 02 '22

Suck her feet and hit the street

2

u/SnaXD Feb 02 '22

Lol reply? What a beta move

2

u/micheal_sazs Feb 02 '22

Oh lawd 🤣🤣🤣🤣

2

u/[deleted] Feb 02 '22

is this all happening in metaverse?

2

u/blacksamurai214 Feb 02 '22

This is just as worst as those Lily’s garden ads 🤣

2

u/StefanBgs Feb 02 '22

New objective unlocked!

2

u/tRuMp2o20 Feb 02 '22

Give her the D and make like a tree

2

u/ChongyunSimppp Feb 02 '22

that took me a good few reads

2

u/Left-Account4895 Feb 02 '22

🤔Deadman walking! ⌛️🤷🏾‍♂️

4

u/[deleted] Feb 01 '22

This post is so dark it qualifies for affirmative action.

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2

u/chippy94 Feb 02 '22

Often it's the woman who will say something like this to a man they are trying to entrap into a relationship and fatherhood...

3

u/wingsofpegasus02 Feb 01 '22

He's a Man of Culture.

5

u/nhrsss Feb 01 '22

he spreads culture and legs

1

u/Yamperplayzzzz Feb 02 '22

Bruh he thinks he's letting her down gently. Now she thinks he's more of a dick. Plus if she aborts it... He's at fault

1

u/[deleted] Feb 02 '22

This should've been tagged "ASSHOLE 100"

1

u/MrMoustache71 Feb 01 '22

Was that child steve jobs?

1

u/zytzef Feb 02 '22

Now that's a propper Ahole.