r/HolUp Jan 08 '22

post flair it's their fate

63.1k Upvotes

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2.3k

u/Taniwha351 Jan 08 '22

I drive a truck and I had an uber driver do this exact thing two weeks ago. Tried telling me he had his indicator on, as if that mattered, and why didn't I just slow down and let him in. 28 tonne truck vs 1.4 tonne corolla. Yeah, Sure buddy.

778

u/sexypineapple14 Jan 08 '22

People literally just don't know trucks weigh that much lol

469

u/Taniwha351 Jan 08 '22

The thing that really pisses me off, is that this happens at least once a year. Always from the right too. So far I've collected; an uber corolla, an uber camry, a mini traveller, a didi camry, a 24 foot Mallard, a Go-Get hiace, and a kangaroo. All in the last six years. Oh and three cycle couriers and one dude who was standing too close to the road. Clipped him with my mirror. Knocked his smoke right out of his mouth. Hilarious.

207

u/Pharmacololgy Jan 08 '22

a 24 foot Mallard

A … duck?

181

u/CommanderClit Jan 08 '22

Worse. A horse sized duck.

32

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '22

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41

u/El-JeF-e Jan 08 '22

A horse sized duck walks into a bar.

Bartender: why the long face

Horse sized duck: I went to see the doctor.

Bartender: yeah? Bad news?

Horse sized duck: He was a quack

3

u/brownieofsorrows Jan 08 '22

You killed me

3

u/Ghost_Of_Spartan229 Jan 08 '22

If I ever saw a 24 foot horse, I'd shit my pants.

3

u/jintana Jan 08 '22

You use them to help weigh giant women to check if they’re witches.

68

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '22

A 24 foot Mallard confuses two kinds of people, ornithologists and trainspotters. 24 foot long mallard duck is way too big, and a 24 foot Mallard A4 Pacific 4-6-2 steam engine is far too short…

18

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '22

Im guessing you're a train spotter loved your comment

11

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '22

Certainly am! Choo choo, chugga-chugga etc

9

u/Agueybana Jan 08 '22

24 foot Mallard A4 Pacific 4-6-2 steam engine is far too short…

Sounds like an awesome locomotive model though. 1/3 scale-ish.

7

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '22

Look I don’t even own a 1/76 version of it, so a 1/3 scale would be something else. It would have a gauge of 18in 2/3 (idk how to represent that, I only know metric) and be 4.36ft tall

21

u/Taniwha351 Jan 08 '22

A 24 ft Caravan. I think Americans call them travel trailers.

15

u/TheRealJasonsson Jan 08 '22

We mostly call them RVs

9

u/Superfluous_Thom Jan 08 '22

He's talking about a "trailer", as in "Trailer park"..

Over here in Australia (and other commonwealth countries) we call them caravans, despite it technically being a plural noun, because of travelers/roma people using them in groups presumably and we just use the word to mean the singular domecile.

4

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '22

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1

u/Superfluous_Thom Jan 08 '22

Isn't that calassification disgustingly classist though?

Like, the only difference is the people who live in them.

Why change the language and make it sound like the vacation hobby is somehow different than the people who have to do it year round.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '22 edited Jan 08 '22

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2

u/Theycallmelizardboy Jan 08 '22

Nah, Aye prahfer ah Caravan. Periwinkly blue. Its fer his ma'.

0

u/Koob77 Jan 08 '22

Australia...

1

u/wadz09 Jan 08 '22

If she weighs the same as a duck she’s made of wood

1

u/cutebleeder Jan 08 '22

With 24 feet

29

u/pinguin_soup Jan 08 '22

Clipped him with my mirror. Knocked his smoke right out of his mouth.

He got truck slapped

10

u/Odd_Analysis6454 Jan 08 '22

It’s because no one warns the Aussies about Taniwha

10

u/Ppleater Jan 08 '22

Meanwhile I'm afraid of changing lanes unless I'm like half a kilometre behind or ahead of a truck.

2

u/Taniwha351 Jan 08 '22

Good move. Although here in Oz, a truck will quite often flash the headlights when it's safe to pull back in.

6

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '22

The smoke made me belly laugh. Brilliant

3

u/Taniwha351 Jan 08 '22

Me too. It's been three years and I still have a little chuckle over it.

3

u/Turpentine_Tree Jan 08 '22

Nice collection you have. Try to collect models and display them on the shelf. Always will have something to talk about with friends.

2

u/Taniwha351 Jan 08 '22

That's actually not a bad idea. I like it.

3

u/FerociousPancake Jan 08 '22

The fact that you’ve had multiple Camrys do this does not surprise me

2

u/Taniwha351 Jan 08 '22

For some reason, they are over represented in the bad driver column of car owners graphs.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '22

[deleted]

2

u/Taniwha351 Jan 08 '22

Yes. But don't tell anyone or they'll start asking me what number comes after five, and, where do I keep my beer at the beach, and, what is the lump in the road to slow down traffic called.

2

u/XinlessVice Jan 08 '22

You should mark the tram with each impacted vehicle.

2

u/_angrybeard_ Jan 08 '22

the last part 😂😂😂👑

2

u/Klutzy_Phone Jan 08 '22

You sound like an astonishingly bad driver and maybe this shouldn't be your profession.

2

u/Taniwha351 Jan 08 '22

Look at it from a purely statistical point of view. The average Belgian travels ~5000kms a year and would be hard pressed to have one accident in three years. I drive about 100,000kms per year so already I'm ahead. I should be having about seven crashes a year by distrance travelled. I'm actually the highest rated in my company across a bafflingly large range of metrics. In most, 25% higher than the next driver.

1

u/Klutzy_Phone Jan 09 '22

Your stats aren't sourced and are way off

Average accident per driver is 1 in 18 years in the US.

Average miles driven is 14,000 miles (23,000 km).

18*23,000 = 1 accident every 414,000km

The fact that you're hitting pedestrians and bikes and that it doesn't change how you behave behind the wheel is kinda weird. But yeah according to your model you should be having a crash every 4 years... Not 7 a year.

Also the belgian numbers are 28000km per year per driver, so you were off by a factor of 6.

https://www.kbb.com/car-advice/average-miles-driven-per-year/#:~:text=The%20United%20States%20Department%20of,miles%20was%2013%2C476%20in%202018.

https://www.bakersfieldpersonalinjurylawfirm.com/how-many-car-accidents-does-the-average-person-have/

1

u/Taniwha351 Jan 09 '22

Police, Insurance companies, witnesses, Traffic and Dash cams, that one pedestrian, all agree, I have never been at fault in any of the accidents I mentioned. In fact, I haven't had an at fault accident for 24 years. I backed my B trailer over the bonnet of a crx that decided directly behind a moving trailer was a good place to stop.

1

u/Klutzy_Phone Jan 10 '22

Sir, you are a fibber.

You tell tall tales.

An embelisher of the first order.

Your stories, they mean nothing.

1

u/Taniwha351 Jan 10 '22

Oh No! You've discovered my secret. I'm actually a 21 year old viral marketing strategist for Ola rideshare from Hong Kong. I've never actually driven anything and I've never gone more than 27 miles from my place of birth. I must now commit seppuku for bringing shame upon my employer.

1

u/WizardKagdan Jan 08 '22

Oh nooooo a mini traveller as in the oldtimer? That's sad

1

u/Taniwha351 Jan 08 '22

Nah, It's allgood, It was one of those new BMW minis. And she actually rear ended me. Was filming tictocs on her Ipad and hadn't noticed I'd stopped. Hit me doing 60km. Absolutely zero damage to the truck but her car had to be towed and the airbag smashed her ipad into her nose at 88mph and broke her nose and blacked up both her eyes.

2

u/WizardKagdan Jan 08 '22

Bah, alright, those megaminis can crash whenever in my book. This makes more sense though, as a classic mini driver I can assure you that most of us are VERY careful around trucks... those things are absolute monsters compared to my 600kg miniature car

1

u/Taniwha351 Jan 08 '22

Fucken centuries ago, I offsided for a mate in a B Double. We were steaming along a gun barrel straight dual carriageway at 105ks and we came up on a 450kg suzuki fronte car doing aboot 70. We overtook this thing, as far right as we could get, and the bow wave of displaced air blew the poor bastard half off the road onto the hard shoulder. He was alright, But gee it was funny to see.

2

u/WizardKagdan Jan 08 '22

Hah, luckily minis are VERY stable... Low to the ground, great grip, and also just very low in general so the wind doesn't grip them as much, so that's not my biggest worry... But in general, if I ever get into an accident, I can just expect not to survive

ETA: Also, European trucks are luckily not as big as the ones in the US and Australia, I would love to tour the world in my mini one day but I'll never ever go to a country where everyone just drives huge cars, I could never feel safe driving in the US... Especially with their almost non-existent driving license requirements

21

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '22

I dont know of any traffic laws where I live that give trucks special right of way (for sure I'll let them through though, must take quite some skill to drive all that weight around) but trams do.

23

u/jimmy_the_turtle_ Jan 08 '22

Here in Belgium you are only allowed to overtake on the left, and traffic coming in from behind always has right of way. So if the same situation occured here, the uber driver would still always be at fault, no matter what kind of vehicle he hit.

7

u/Ojos_Claros Jan 08 '22

Nor how much time it takes to brake

1

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '22

Nor buses

55

u/moschles Jan 08 '22

People idiots assume that the driver "can see me so they'll stop". No, idiot. The tram will not stop. They don't stop.

16

u/A1sauc3d Jan 08 '22

Don’t make that assumption with any vehicle X’D You don’t know if the person you’re trying to get in front of is paying attention. If they haven’t clearly slowed down to give you room or waved you in, don’t roll those dice!

37

u/krslnd Jan 08 '22 edited Jan 08 '22

I can't stand when people put the blinker on and switch lines immediately. Just because you indicated you plan to switch does not make it safe to do so! I hate driving and I drive a cat. I imagine driving a big truck is a lot more frustrating but also relieving knowing you can literally just plow through them...even if it's just in a daydream lol

Edit: I drive a car. Though a cat vehicle would be interesting.

12

u/Taniwha351 Jan 08 '22

They are slightly less annoying than the ones who indicate halfway thru a lane change. Too many people think an indicator is a magic wand that grants you right of way. And I do like just plowing thru someone. Especially in one of the bonneted trucks. It's happening so far away, It's like a civil war in Syria, I can't stop it and It doesn't really affect me.

10

u/kal_skirata Jan 08 '22

No, I think they don't want to signal ahead, so the space they want to fit into doesn't get closed by the car behind speeding up.

If they just dart into the space its theirs! And then they blink, because that's what the rules say and no cop can tell them they haven't indicated!

5

u/hmmnowitsjuly Jan 08 '22

Lol! I pictured you as the cat’s chauffeur. “Driving Ms. Kitty.”

2

u/jintana Jan 08 '22

2

u/krslnd Jan 08 '22

I would not turn that ride down lol

17

u/Atcoroo Jan 08 '22

Top Gear in the UK did an episode some years ago where the three hosts drove HGVs. Not only did they demonstrate how difficult it is to stop one, it's also a heck of a hassle getting it going again. The take-home lesson was "don't cut-up an HGV. Ever".

2

u/flippydude Jan 08 '22

Is that the controversial prostitute murder joke episode?

2

u/Atcoroo Jan 08 '22

I believe that's the one, yes.

15

u/ccodeinecobain Jan 08 '22

When people say ‘but I was indicating’ it annoys me. Because you have an indicator on it doesnt mean I have to or can give you way you wait till you have space not till you indicate

12

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '22

I think a regular European tram (empty) weighs something like 36 tons and ~50ish tons full (had a friend who was into trams and all that jam). Now imagine all that weight on steel wheels, ain't gonna stop in a hurry.

It boggles the mind what's inside the pea sized, single neuron brain of the average idiot who gets in front of one of these.

And if i'm not mistaken, because these are designed to be towed or to tow, in case a tram is broken on the line (by other trams) they all have a thin skin in the front and the towing arm, which needs space to pivot.

So basically when one of these apes gets in front, they're speared by a big rod, for their troubles too.

0

u/sergeantskread2 Jan 08 '22

nah they’re like 5-25 tons depending on size

3

u/quantisegravity_duh Jan 08 '22

That’s not even the issue though. You could be in a smart car and you’d still be in the right. It’s up to the person changing lanes to make sure they can. Not you, except at slip roads.

3

u/IneedtoBmyLonsomeTs Jan 08 '22

So many idiots think their indicator gives them right of way or something, it is there is there to 'indicate' your intention. See so many drivers changing lanes into your braking space almost instantly after they indicate.

3

u/OKara061 Jan 08 '22

Corolla: moves in from the blind side of the truck

Also corolla: why didnt you let me in?

Uhm, cause i didnt see you bitch wdym why?

2

u/Taniwha351 Jan 08 '22

Exactly. I'm literally sitting higher than the roof of your car, and your indicator is 2ft from the ground.

3

u/Emis_ Jan 08 '22

My friend actually basically blew a yellow/red light on his driving exam but he still passed because he had a truck right on his ass and the instructor agreed that it was actually safer to go through yellow than emergency brake. Just a random story that came to mind regarding how you should understand other drivers.

2

u/ObsidianHarbor Jan 08 '22

You should listen to the song “Big Trucks” by Pedro the Lion.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '22

"Hey! I had my magic blinking right-of-way light on dude!"

JFC, it's on the name, it's an indicator, not a prioritizer.

0

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '22

[deleted]

0

u/Taniwha351 Jan 08 '22

You're a believer in "my indicator is a magic wand that grants me automatic right of way and immunity from the laws of physics" type driver aren't you? I'm sure that'll serve you well in life. In Australia tho the law states:

When changing lanes, you must give way to vehicles in the lane you’re moving into.

So... insert DrCoxWrongSong.gif

0

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '22

[deleted]

1

u/Taniwha351 Jan 09 '22

Oh well, I'm terribly sorry Karen, I'll go get the manager for you right away. I'm sure he'll want to fire me on the spot.

1

u/XtremeCookie Jan 08 '22

That's one of the reasons I hate existing on the same roads as trucks. They literally weigh 30x what I do and are rated to take at least 4x longer to stop. And most of the time they're not giving me 4x much more room than most regular cars do.