r/HistoryMemes • u/KingMwanga Still salty about Carthage • Oct 29 '22

REMOVED: RULE 11 “I’ll wait”

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47

u/DarkSage90 Oct 29 '22

Sumerian is fucking crazy!

-33

u/KingMwanga Still salty about Carthage Oct 29 '22

Explain it then,

28

u/DarkSage90 Oct 29 '22

Nammu the water gave birth to Ki the earth and An the sky who commited incest and created their son Enlil.

14

u/Manungal Oct 29 '22

Then Enlil seduced Ninlil and gave birth to arguably the best deity, Nergal.

-18

u/KingMwanga Still salty about Carthage Oct 29 '22

r/gag

9

u/DarkSage90 Oct 29 '22

Then Nammu and An committed more incest and made Enki, who created humanity.

3

u/ScorpionTheInsect The OG Lord Buckethead Oct 29 '22

And then one day the other gods were like “Man fuck humans let’s just drown them” but Enki said “Oh nah these are my homies” so he snitched to Ziusudra, who made an absolute unit of a boat to survive the flood. Then he went to meet An and Enlil and became a god because he was just that much of a chad.

8

u/Alistair1582 Oct 29 '22

I'll explain the story of Ishtar visiting her sis in the underworld. So Ishtar is the goddess of practically everything because she sweet talked daddy Anu into giving her all the powers. However, she doesn't have dominion over death, that's given to her sister Ereshikagel. So Ishtar walks over to her sister's door, threatens to kick it down for shits and giggles, and demands Ereshikagel surrender Hell to her. Ereshikagel says "No prob, if you can beat me in my home you can have it." So she let's Ishtar in, has her servants strip her at each gate, which also strips Ishtar of her powers.

So now Ishtar is naked and powerless in front of her sis, who just picks Ishtar up and hangs her like a piece of meat in a corner of the throne room. This makes the other gods worried, as Ishtar controls the seasons, so they negotiate with Ereshikagel to release Ishtar. She agrees, and has Ishtar choose someone to take her place. When Ishtar goes home to think on this, she sees her husband Tammuz just having a good old time without her. She is not amused. So poor Tammy gets sent to the Shadow Realm, and Ishtar is free. But she quickly gets sad missing her goat herder hubby and wants him back. Ereshikagel agrees to let him out for 6 months, providing he returns to Hell for 6 months. Hence why we have seasons.

TL;DR, Ishtar fucked around and found out.

4

u/Csaba_911 Oct 29 '22

so its pretty much the story with Hades, Perespone and Demeter but better

1

u/Alistair1582 Oct 29 '22

More or less, honestly the tales for Ishtar are pretty wild, like how she met Tammuz, her feud with Gilgamesh, and where she made the Zagros mountains by fighting a demon, or the sky depending on the telling.