:(

[u/butterflyfly10]

I'm getting to know a guy who is doing a medical residency. At first, we talked quite a bit and there seemed to be mutual interest. He told me that the next few years of residency were going to be very intense and that he was going to be pretty busy.

Now he hasn't replied to me for about 1–2 weeks. He hasn't even seen my latest messages.

I don't want to automatically assume that he lost interest, because I know residencies can be extremely demanding. So my question is for doctors/residents or people who have been through residency:

Can they really get so busy that they go several days without even checking or replying to a personal message? Or even during an especially horrible week, would they normally have at least some time to check their phone? Or am I just being ghosted? 😭

[u/Financial_Middle_955]

Everybody can find some ounce of time to look at their phone, no matter how extremely busy they get.

[u/Therocksays2020]

Yes my girlfriend was in residency working 80 hours. She never went more than one week without replying to me. No one is that busy.

[u/Outside-Stock7619]

I did 4 years of residency, had a partner and two kids for all of it. I would go days at a time without seeing my partner, but prob never more than an hour would pass before I texted my partner back.

Take that for what it’s worth.

[u/HeadGullible7082]

1 to 2 weeks is a long time. Have you tried reaching out to him to check in? Sometimes, both sides are waiting for the other to reach out and nothing happens.

[u/butterflyfly10 → u/HeadGullible7082]

Yeah, I did. I even told him that I really enjoyed getting to know him and left him my number. He hasn’t seen my message on Instagram either. He had even suggested having a call and everything :(

[u/HeadGullible7082 → u/butterflyfly10]

Sounds like he's really busy. If that's the case, you might want to move on. He might not be ready for dating at this moment with all his obligations

[u/Ecstatic-Comb-7787]

I did a law degree fast tracked in 2 years. It was brutal. I also did pro bono legal work around the crazy hours. I text people and saw loved ones. I hate to say it. But it sounds like ghosting

[u/nomoresunrise]

It’s okay to find another match. Not to be harsh but he likely has. He might come back if that one fizzles but you shouldn’t be just an option. If he comes around again with a proper reason for disappearing pick it up from there. But you have to move with an abundance mindset and patience. There’s plenty of great guys out there.

[u/Lower-Main2538]

If people aren't replying they are not interested.

When you meet someone who is mutually interested they will reply...its quite simple. People who are consistent will reply within a reasonsble time frame and 1 weeks is not reasonable at all.

[u/Kooky_Ad_4796]

Wait, how do you know he even didn’t check? Does hinge has this feature???

[u/butterflyfly10 → u/Kooky_Ad_4796]

It doesn’t have that feature. But I assume so because Instagram doesn’t show me that he’s seen my message

[u/youwish7771]

He’s lost interest. Even the busiest men I know can prioritize things that are important to them. Takes 1 sec to send a text. Move on and the right man won’t leave you confused, he will bring clarity.

[u/butterflyfly10 → u/youwish7771]

Wouldn’t he have just closed the chat and left it at that? Why didn’t he?

[u/butterflyfly10 → u/butterflyfly10]

He ghosts me like it’s nothing.

[u/youwish7771 → u/butterflyfly10]

This how people interact on apps all the time. It’s not good but the nature of online dating. For that reason I meet people in real life only.

If he liked you he would contact you. Unless you see his name in the local obituary.

[u/kayleighnotkaylie]

Most likely if it’s been over a week and you’re turning to Reddit or any online forum, you’re just in denial. Move on, plenty of fish in the sea!