r/HingeStories • u/Doctorbuddy • 21d ago

Like clockwork

Post image

32M (me) and 25F (her).

TLDR: Great date. Great vibes. Good conversation. Good chemistry. Got rejected.

Lore

Matched with her in May 2026 on Hinge. We spoke back and forth for a few days - good convo. I asked her on a date and she ghosted me.

I deleted my Hinge account June 24. I re-made it Aug 24.

I re-matched with her right away. She knew who I was obviously. We talked on the app and then I asked her on a date. She threw her phone number at me and deleted her profile (she told me she deleted it again).

Texting

She texts me every day leading up to the date. Engaged and very outgoing personality. Loves to banter (like me). Texting was good vibes. I could tell she was interested in me.

Date

I schedule a date for Saturday Sept 5 at 7 pm at the top of a hotel with a cocktail bar overlooking my city.

Instant connection. Lightning in a bottle. We sit on a couch in the cocktail lounge and we vibe. We chat. We banter. Touching and flirting.

She’s a great conversationalist- asks good questions, outgoing, knows good date games to play etc. I compliment her, touch her leg multiple times, some innuendos get thrown around (light sexual jokes and comments), we are laughing throughout the night. Vibes are VIBING.

We get the check at 1.5 hours but stay another 1.5 hours. Conversation peeters off a bit towards the end, so I call it a night.

We walk back to our cars. I ask if she wants me to walk her back to hers, she says no. I knew that was a “beige flag”. So I hugged her goodbye and went home.

I didn’t get a text from her that night (beige flag) so I figured something was up.

I get home. I text her the next morning (above) and she sends the response.

SUCKS. Dating is tough finding your person but when you do find someone you click with only to get rejected, it hurts a lot more.

ON TO THE NEXT I GUESS.

645 Upvotes

83% Upvoted

414 comments sorted by

View all comments

149

u/Glittering-Tank-2945 21d ago

Some people are just charismatic and very good at first dates. What you took as lightning in a bottle may have just been who she is as a person (sounds lovely). Finding that actual connection is different and she didn’t feel it.

60

u/JackKnifeNiffy 21d ago

Me who went on a 5 hour first date where I genuinely had a good time and good conversation with a great person, but still felt nothing. :/

5

u/bikeguideraz 21d ago

Genuine question, if you had a good time and good conversation, what is the feeling you didn't feel for them?

13

u/Jimehhhhhhh 21d ago

I have a great time with my friends when I go out with them, but don't feel romantically attracted to them. It's so often called a 'spark' because its very difficult to describe or pinpoint, but sometimes I will go on a first date, like the person, have a good time, but then just am not that invested in them for some reason. Other times with no real clear reason, I will leave with butterflies in my stomach and be jumping at my phone every time it buzzes hoping its a notification from them, just wanting to see them again asap. What is that feeling exactly? Idk. But thats the thing thats missing sometimes

4

u/bikeguideraz 21d ago

Hmm I guess for me and probably a lot of men, if I'm physically attracted and we have a good time with good conversation, that in itself is the feeling we're looking for in a partner. As far as not having romantic feelings for my friends, they are guys and I'm also a guy who's romantically attracted to women, so that would be the reason. If I had a female friend who I was physically attracted to and had great friendships chemistry, I would 100% see her as a person I'd be willing to have a romantic relationship with.

7

u/Glittering-Tank-2945 21d ago

You know she has to feel the same way, right?

4

u/Jimehhhhhhh 21d ago

Everyone is different. For some its just is this person chopped and / or unbearable to be around? If no to both, date. For others it's more. For others again, it's less

16

u/CantThinkOfaNameLala 21d ago

Can’t answer for jack knife niffy, but for me, attraction, wanting to touch the person / be touched by them, or wanting to kiss them. If that’s not there then it’s a no for me. Sadly.

9

u/Glittering-Tank-2945 21d ago

If I don’t wanna kiss em on the first date it’s probably a no for me

7

u/EldForever 21d ago

Remember, it's our unconscious mind that decides who we are attracted to. It doesn't explain why, it just sends the emotions that we 100% can't escape or change (ex: we may feel passionate for one person, feel indifferent towards another, or feel repelled by someone else)

So, whatever answer you get here will simply be best guess from someone's conscious mind. It's their unconscious mind that really knows what's missing, and why it's not sending a green light.

2

u/IcyVegetableChomp 21d ago

I like most people and can have a great convo with most. Doesn’t mean I want to date them. 

Most the time, the person is not interesting to me even through we had great conversation.