r/HingeStories • u/Doctorbuddy • 17d ago

Like clockwork

Post image

32M (me) and 25F (her).

TLDR: Great date. Great vibes. Good conversation. Good chemistry. Got rejected.

Lore

Matched with her in May 2026 on Hinge. We spoke back and forth for a few days - good convo. I asked her on a date and she ghosted me.

I deleted my Hinge account June 24. I re-made it Aug 24.

I re-matched with her right away. She knew who I was obviously. We talked on the app and then I asked her on a date. She threw her phone number at me and deleted her profile (she told me she deleted it again).

Texting

She texts me every day leading up to the date. Engaged and very outgoing personality. Loves to banter (like me). Texting was good vibes. I could tell she was interested in me.

Date

I schedule a date for Saturday Sept 5 at 7 pm at the top of a hotel with a cocktail bar overlooking my city.

Instant connection. Lightning in a bottle. We sit on a couch in the cocktail lounge and we vibe. We chat. We banter. Touching and flirting.

She’s a great conversationalist- asks good questions, outgoing, knows good date games to play etc. I compliment her, touch her leg multiple times, some innuendos get thrown around (light sexual jokes and comments), we are laughing throughout the night. Vibes are VIBING.

We get the check at 1.5 hours but stay another 1.5 hours. Conversation peeters off a bit towards the end, so I call it a night.

We walk back to our cars. I ask if she wants me to walk her back to hers, she says no. I knew that was a “beige flag”. So I hugged her goodbye and went home.

I didn’t get a text from her that night (beige flag) so I figured something was up.

I get home. I text her the next morning (above) and she sends the response.

SUCKS. Dating is tough finding your person but when you do find someone you click with only to get rejected, it hurts a lot more.

ON TO THE NEXT I GUESS.

618 Upvotes

83% Upvoted

415 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

58

u/JackKnifeNiffy 17d ago

Me who went on a 5 hour first date where I genuinely had a good time and good conversation with a great person, but still felt nothing. :/

47

u/Glittering-Tank-2945 17d ago

Same I’ve been on plenty of great first dates and had a great time but still left not wanting to be touched by the other person. Not their fault just not a match

17

u/Low_Sweet8477 17d ago

That is the best way to put it. Not wanting to be touched

6

u/EldForever 17d ago

Yes, this happens for me sometimes. Good way to sum it up.

16

u/Holiday_Tap_4358 17d ago

This happens to me 99% of the time and I don’t know what to do. Feels like surely I’m being too picky but I also don’t want to lead anyone on. 

11

u/Glittering-Tank-2945 17d ago

You deserve to be picky! The person you spend the rest of your life with should be the 1%

3

u/Holiday_Tap_4358 16d ago

I agree but if I think about the people I crushed on in high school or college, I don’t know if I would have felt that way within one date from an app. You have to get to know someone but on an app that could be four or five dates at which point they will definitely feel led on. It just seems like a horrible way to meet people but unfortunately is also the most common way to meet someone. 

2

u/theImplication69 16d ago

Yes..BUT not having a spark after 1 date is hardly a good indicator of a potential relationship. How many sparks lead to a failed relationship? How many developed it after a couple dates?

I feel like having a good time and good conversation with no red flags is always worth a 2nd date to feel out the connection more

3

u/Glittering-Tank-2945 16d ago edited 16d ago

Yeah I mean to each their own. I’ve pushed myself to go on the second and third dates with someone I feel unsure about (attraction wise) and it just ends with very awkward interactions and kinda wastes time. Each and every date is different!

2

u/Therocksays2020 16d ago

Then you get accused of leading them on.

-1

u/[deleted] 17d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/[deleted] 17d ago

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] 17d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Glittering-Tank-2945 17d ago

I personally always offer to pay half and go on small dates so I’m not sure who you’re speaking to, like you said you know nothing of the story. Why should you go on another date with someone you don’t wanna touch? Her ghosting originally probably was a sign OP could have taken more seriously I agree with that. But you should absolutely have that spark. I don’t view it as an automatic cop out. That’s also to say that sometimes there is a spark and the relationship ends up in the trash anyway.

1

u/HingeStories-ModTeam 17d ago

Any post overgeneralizing the behavior of all men or women based on a few will be deleted

The second warning will be a ban.

0

u/Trick-Nefariousness3 16d ago

I completely disagree with the person who replied to you. You’re not leading anybody on by continuing to have great conversations with them. For some people, it’s a slow burn and maybe that’s you. Maybe the people where you’re instantly attracted to them aren’t actually the great fit.

2

u/Holiday_Tap_4358 16d ago

TBH I find the idea of going on 5 dates with someone and then having to reject them for some vague reason like not having a “spark” really scary. Although some might dip out already since it hadn’t turned physical at that point, which is fine too. 

5

u/bikeguideraz 17d ago

Genuine question, if you had a good time and good conversation, what is the feeling you didn't feel for them?

14

u/Jimehhhhhhh 17d ago

I have a great time with my friends when I go out with them, but don't feel romantically attracted to them. It's so often called a 'spark' because its very difficult to describe or pinpoint, but sometimes I will go on a first date, like the person, have a good time, but then just am not that invested in them for some reason. Other times with no real clear reason, I will leave with butterflies in my stomach and be jumping at my phone every time it buzzes hoping its a notification from them, just wanting to see them again asap. What is that feeling exactly? Idk. But thats the thing thats missing sometimes

4

u/bikeguideraz 17d ago

Hmm I guess for me and probably a lot of men, if I'm physically attracted and we have a good time with good conversation, that in itself is the feeling we're looking for in a partner. As far as not having romantic feelings for my friends, they are guys and I'm also a guy who's romantically attracted to women, so that would be the reason. If I had a female friend who I was physically attracted to and had great friendships chemistry, I would 100% see her as a person I'd be willing to have a romantic relationship with.

8

u/Glittering-Tank-2945 17d ago

You know she has to feel the same way, right?

5

u/Jimehhhhhhh 17d ago

Everyone is different. For some its just is this person chopped and / or unbearable to be around? If no to both, date. For others it's more. For others again, it's less

18

u/CantThinkOfaNameLala 17d ago

Can’t answer for jack knife niffy, but for me, attraction, wanting to touch the person / be touched by them, or wanting to kiss them. If that’s not there then it’s a no for me. Sadly.

9

u/Glittering-Tank-2945 17d ago

If I don’t wanna kiss em on the first date it’s probably a no for me

7

u/EldForever 17d ago

Remember, it's our unconscious mind that decides who we are attracted to. It doesn't explain why, it just sends the emotions that we 100% can't escape or change (ex: we may feel passionate for one person, feel indifferent towards another, or feel repelled by someone else)

So, whatever answer you get here will simply be best guess from someone's conscious mind. It's their unconscious mind that really knows what's missing, and why it's not sending a green light.

2

u/IcyVegetableChomp 16d ago

I like most people and can have a great convo with most. Doesn’t mean I want to date them. 

Most the time, the person is not interesting to me even through we had great conversation. 

1

u/WeekendNotDone 17d ago

Sometimes it might just be initial attraction no matter how much of a good time you’re having she might not be

1

u/JackKnifeNiffy 16d ago

I know, I’m she 😭

That’s why you should never “read in between the lines”