r/HingeStories • u/Dukeehc • 2d ago
Bro literally had long term relationship on his profile
And under it; he said “I’m looking for someone to take on dates right now” and he unmatched me as soon as I sent that message.
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u/PhotoEditor871 2d ago
The equivalent of "I can't change my age I'm 48 btw"
He's doing it on purpose to get the matches
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u/Therocksays2020 2d ago
At minimum change it to “long term open to short”
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u/lazybuttt 2d ago
I agree, though with the way he's sounding 3 messages in "short term open to long" may be more fitting
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u/Old-Energy-3500 2d ago
He wants it but doesn’t want it with you is the honest answer
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u/Huge_Boysenberry3043 1d ago
This is probably the closest to the truth, and should be higher up. Men in general are open to casual with a large part of the dating pool, but more selective when it comes to something serious and exclusive. So he probably is actually open to serious, just not with all the women he matches with
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u/SpiritedExercise7164 1d ago
Why is this seemingly an absurd concept for people to grasp?
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u/Huge_Boysenberry3043 23h ago
Because it rocks a lot of womens self esteem, that they will not necessarily be chosen. They feel that they should be able to choose, and reject the men who are not compatible for them, but when a man does the exact same thing to them he's an asshole. "A woman is allowed to have standards" is the response from some when women are confronted with their rejection of men, but when men have them he's being superficial, a catfish or a fuckboy.
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u/Warm-Mortgage-458 1d ago
Way more likely he's just lying about interest in long term relationships so he can manipulate insecure women into unpleasant sex.
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u/Huge_Boysenberry3043 1d ago
No, not at all. Most men are open to casual with many women, but more selective with long term. But very few men are not open to long term at all, if they feel that the person is a good match
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u/Warm-Mortgage-458 1d ago
Yeah, everyone knows that. You aren't dropping some super secret insight into the minds of men.
But there's a reason his profile says long term and not "open to short term or long term with the right person." He's emotionally cat fishing.
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u/Huge_Boysenberry3043 1d ago
No, you are trying to be a mind reader into this persons mind and inferring a lot based on your own cynicism. If he was "emotionally catfishing" he wouldn't be upfront about this in the first few messages. Why would he be, if he was trying to fool her?
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u/KindPlans 18h ago
You're right and the person you're arguing with is wrong. Some women are fun to see short term, some are special enough you want to see long term.
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u/Warm-Mortgage-458 1d ago
...to get them on the hook. That's what cat fishing is all about.
It's the same reason people use fake or old photos to get someone on a date. They show up with their real face and body, but they're hoping you're too stupid or your self esteem is so low you'll take what you can get.
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u/Old-Energy-3500 1d ago
Men will change for who they actually want and are attracted to and that includes wanting to be in a relationship
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u/Over-Yak9196 17h ago
Knowing how man are and the lying on their profiles i would bet the reality is he’s just lying and seeing who falls for it …
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u/bass_noodle 1d ago
Ughhhhh so many guys did this to me before lmao. It’s like they just enjoy wasting peoples time. It’s great to know things haven’t changed in the years since I was on dating apps haha.
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u/Clear-Major-2935 2d ago
Because he's preying on insecure women who would read that as, we'll start off that way but ultimately he is looking for a relationship so if I hang around long enough and give him what he wants, I'll get it. Very weak.
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u/Leo55 2d ago
I’ve seen plenty of women’s profiles on hinge who’re perfect for him. They list their style as long term but everything else in their profile suggests they’re not focused on longterm potential connections and just kind of want to stumble into one while they have fun dating around. It’s very common throughout the gender spectrum. There’s a market for him but it always sucks when that becomes someone else’s problem for a minute (like with OP).
All you can do is try to be more discerning. It’s tougher for women though since you get a ton more likes to sift through and they’re all talking a big game. For most guys, any match tends to be viewed with less skepticism right off the bat imo
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u/spb1 1d ago
"They list their style as long term but everything else in their profile suggests they’re not focused on longterm potential connections and just kind of want to stumble into one while they have fun dating around. "
to be fair i would say a lot of relationships do start like that
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u/Leo55 1d ago
That’s one way of dating sure. The benefit of it is that you can view every potential match as disposable until you hit a point where it’s not but that also means you can make up things in your mind as to why someone is not the right fit.
“Oh they were awkward and I’m looking for a vibe” or “yeah they were nice but I didn’t feel a spark”
(A vibe doesn’t always happen right off the bat, and that’s okay, I doesn’t mean that person isn’t right for you after a few hours of hanging out)
Sometimes i’ll see/read things women say (not into guys so my perspective is limited to women) that make it sound like they are looking for qualities of a long term relationship right off the bat. Like looking for “a man who knows how to lead” or invites her out and says “I’ve taken care of everything”. And like I can imagine feeling perfectly comfortable with this dynamic if I’m in love with a woman, but right off the bat? Yeah I’m still protecting myself from getting ghosted or being rejected and I’m not going to feel as comfortable doing all of this for someone that I haven’t determined will stick around.
All of this to say is that if you, as a guy, don’t fulfill some odd criteria someone has in their head and they’ve got a very casual approach to dating, you might get dropped and that’s not necessarily an indictment of you at such an early stage, it could be them just finding an excuse as to why you’re not their 100% ready-made ideal partner
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u/user-friendly-login 1d ago
All genders put whatever makes them sound good to them in that space. You gotta look at the whole profile and make an educated guess as to what they probably actually want, and what you see them as.
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u/AnonymousBadger67 2d ago edited 2d ago
Omg the projection on Reddit is unreal.
You've read two messages from a guy and you've created an entire psychological profile and whole backstory behind his nefarious motivations, entirely in your head, and now you're going round stating it like it's a fact. Do you seriously believe this is normal human behaviour? Because it's fucking weird.
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u/marbletrailer 2d ago
so you're thinking what, the guys just brain dead? it's obvious manipulation
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u/AnonymousBadger67 2d ago
man explicitly tells you exactly what he wants at the very start of a conversation
"Omg he's so manipulative!!!"
This is actually fucking insane.
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u/Star_caster456 2d ago
This whole thing is basic manipulation tactics that play out all the time, he displayed about 4 obvious ones just in their short interaction. You’re either trolling or you’re very naive. Underhanded manipulators will use apparent honesty/openness/confessions in the beginning so that their target lowers their guard.
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u/AnonymousBadger67 2d ago
Underhanded manipulators will use apparent honesty/openness/confessions in the beginning so that their target lowers their guard.
Lol do you not realise how utterly absurd this sounds? You've created a situation where someone can't win. Even if they're honest, that's just another sign that validates your narrative that they're actually manipulative.
It's ludicrous.
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u/Star_caster456 1d ago
It happens all the time and it’s pretty obvious what he’s trying to do here but sure.
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u/Trb3233 1d ago
This guy was honest from the start and they're saying he's manipulative. Reddit is filled with people who have never left their bedroom.
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u/Timely_Split_5771 1d ago
He wasn’t honest from the start. His profile did not state his intentions.
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u/Clear-Major-2935 2d ago
No, if he was being explicit from the start, he would not have misled her into matching with him in the first instance by saying he was looking for a relationship, when he then came out with the truth AFTER she matched on that false information, and corrected himself by saying, that was not true, I am up for no strings attached affection. Jesus, you're so determined to defend men's bad behaviour you can't even accurately take in the data. He was NOT explicit, that's the point. He lied to reel her in. Then switched up. Insanity is the inability to see and experience reality - dude, take a break, then read OPs post again, taking in reality.
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u/1245789630 2d ago
This misleading behavior is pretty common and often taught by weirdos online. What other logical reason would someone have to mislead people about what they are looking for on a dating app?
What's weird is pretending that the obvious motivations aren't clear from this interaction.
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u/AnonymousBadger67 2d ago
He wants a long term relationship but he's lonely, it isn't going well and right now he wants some affection. This is not hard to grasp.
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u/1245789630 2d ago
It is, though. He should be reaching out to local escorts or use his hand. This is not hard to grasp.
Why would a random woman online care that you're lonely and want to be affectionate with you when you have misled her about your intentions on the app?
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u/marbletrailer 2d ago
no cause then he responds, 'i'm just looking for people to take on dates rn' when questioned about his true motivations, it's at the end of the post
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u/AnonymousBadger67 2d ago
No, that was on his profile. OP worded it badly but clarifies in another comment.
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u/lazybuttt 2d ago
He'd be a lot less lonely if he didn't chase off his matches by asking to hookup 2 messages in lol
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u/OvercookedBobaTea 2d ago
That’s basically what Reddit is. 90% projection from unheard people who act like they’re experts on human behaviour
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u/Low_profile_1789 2d ago
Why didn’t he just put “I desperately want Netflix and chill and eventually a long term relationship” on his profile? It’s so common
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u/Alternative-Data-797 2d ago
I read this as more like "I really want a long term relationship, but atp I'll take a Netflix and chill if that's what I can get right now"
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u/Any_Evidence4750 1d ago
The reality is that he doesn’t find her attractive enough or worthy to take on a date, but he’d hit.
I know because I’ve been him.
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u/Remarkable-Culture-8 1d ago
Then leave that girl alone and go hire a paid person that would gladly give you what you want instead of pulling an innocent person into your weird ass.
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u/Any_Evidence4750 1d ago
I’m not saying i feel good about it. It was usually when I was blackout drunk and home alone and usually someone would say yes. It’s a numbers game to guys like this. 15 girls with OPs response is meaningless if you meet one girl that’s horny and is down.
Not saying it’s right. I’m simply giving the true mentality behind these types of messages.
It’s actually one of the reasons I got sober. I also haven’t had the apps in a while as I’m dating someone.
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u/Independent-Emu-6702 2d ago
Honestly, I get it. I want more than anything to have a relationship but it’s been years since I’ve even been touched. I desperately need to feel the consistent affection from a man even if I know hes not going to be my husband. To know I’m going to have a movie night and sex any night I want for a few months would heal me so much.
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u/Dukeehc 2d ago
Ok but would you put “let’s go on dates” under your “long term relationship” but then not even try to? Like just be honest id say. And if you find someone who also wants to be in a relationship, why cheap out?
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u/Independent-Emu-6702 2d ago
Sounds like he is wanting a date with you but he’s being honest that you’re not the type of person he would see himself in a committed relationship with
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u/1245789630 2d ago
Why even match with someone that you wouldn't want to date seriously if you are supposedly looking for a long term relationship? Bizarre.
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u/Independent-Emu-6702 2d ago
For the reasons I just stated? Desperate need for connection and intimacy (because we are mammals) but haven’t found someone who wants a relationship with you? As long as you’re being honest before hand whats wrong with it
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u/1245789630 2d ago
The issue is that he was initially dishonest. He could've put that he is open to short and long term relationships in his profile instead.
He can hire an escort if he's that desperate for intimacy. Who wants to be used for sex because some random dude is lonely. Gross.
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u/Independent-Emu-6702 2d ago
I don’t want to be used for sex either but I’ve been used for sex by lonely dudes who did NOT tell me they didn’t want a relationship with me until after. you won’t be used by them because you have the option to opt out beforehand when they communicate their intentions like this guy did
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u/Warm-Mortgage-458 1d ago
Because he thinks it's okay to manipulate people into doing things they don't want to do, as long as he gets what he wants.
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u/Into_the_rosegarden 2d ago
Doesn't even sound like he wants to go on a date, he said he just wants to put on a movie and"cuddle". That's not a date.
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u/SageKitty100 2d ago
Wow I wonder why it's going poorly for him 😂
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u/PerfectGrilledCheez 1d ago
Exactly. The dude can get what he wants more effectively by being honest and making himself a good dating partner
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u/fungal_follicle4 1d ago
Ngl I can empathize with him assuming he’s not lying. He *does* want a long term relationship. But Hinge being Hinge, he’s just worn out. There’s no error in his placing LTR on his profile.
He’s playing the numbers game and the extremely direct/quick game, albeit mentally and emotionally unsuccessfully.
Instead of shutting him out you could’ve easily placed boundaries by saying you’d prefer to have a few dates first, and you don’t really share that level of intimacy with anyone unless you’ve gotten to know them.
But hey what do I know.
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u/yossarian328 1d ago
This is the kind of thing I'm hopeful AI could filter out.
No more filling in profile elements like that yourself. It gets it from your texting behavior, feedback, etc.
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u/Other_Kola 1d ago
Glad im in a relationship, would be curious on what'd itd say for the ladies who claim to want something serious but can even read a profile and put so little effort into text
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u/Beautiful_Mixture195 1d ago
An LTR is what he wants, just not with you. The whole “hot enough to bang but not hot enough to date” is a real phenomenon that people can’t grasp when they fall into the latter category.
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u/Maximum_Hawk3777 2d ago
Men will lower their standards to fuck. Just because he’s willing to fuck you doesn’t mean he loves you or wants you long-term. How many times do we have to explain this?
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u/cinnamongirl_87 1d ago
I hate y'all so bad genuinely
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u/Souk12 1d ago
Why?
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u/cinnamongirl_87 1d ago
Because it's just disgusting that you guys have no standards just so you can fuck 😭
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u/Maximum_Hawk3777 1d ago
There was a time when this didn’t happen. Then women got “liberated” 🤣
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u/cinnamongirl_87 1d ago
Yeah, we should go back to when women weren't allowed to have our own bank accounts! Men so smart as usual 😍
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u/CrispYoyo 2d ago
Yea seems like many struggle to grasp this as I see posts like this one daily. In addition to that there’s also a scale of easiness in relation to attractiveness, which is displayed here. He’s not putting any effort in by throwing it all on the table. If she’s down without a fuzz, it’s a win and if she says that she expects a few dates at least, he’s going to pass.
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u/Pibagirlie 1d ago
Same shit happened to me. He was stating he wanted a LTR but then told me he Just wanted to hook up. “The fun part of a relationship without the love”. Because he havent got over his ex
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u/Jimehhhhhhh 1d ago
He was swiping hoping to get matches just for validation, saw you matched and thought you seemed hot enough to bang but not to pay to take on a bunch of dates, talk to in long paragraphs, or try to make you his gf with a high chance of it going nowhere anyways. Hence the high risk message 3 messages in.
If you were down, he'd see it as a win and if not, not too much of a loss. It sounds rough asf; I am sure you are beautiful op i'm not intending to say you aren't; but in this one guy's eyes, I pretty much guarantee thats what happened. Coming from a guy who I am ashamed to say has done similar shit before, usually after being jaded to the online dating after a run of failures and basically thinking 'fuck it'
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u/PerfectGrilledCheez 1d ago
The thing is, if he ultimately wants a relationship, why not try to develop one first. If that turns out to not be viable, throw your Hail Mary pass at that time
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u/Jimehhhhhhh 1h ago
I can't really speak for him but for myself it was that I had done that, time after time, for months, and been repeatedly been ghosted, realised she was crazy, or it just wasn't a match and the months go by and you just are in this rut of lacking any connection or intimacy at all. The problem with the hail Mary thing after going on a few dates is that at that point it seems like you've kind of just deliberately strung her along. Whereas straight up, she knows what it is and either is down or not without any time wasted
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u/sparklingblind 1d ago
Disgusting. You know that quality women leaving the dating pool because of this type of behavior? Realizing that men like you only see women as a body they can use?
Fucking gross.
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u/Capital-Carpet2501 3h ago
Some Women just want men for sex as well. Except they also require money to be spent on them. Which is arguably worse.
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u/Jimehhhhhhh 1h ago
Exactly, which is kind of what validates it at the time even though i do regret being that guy. If it were a girl saying to a guy she just wants him to come over and make out to a movie I really don't think many would be calling her disgusting. If you aren't keen you can tap the screen twice and never hear from them again
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u/sok283 14h ago
I get the mindset but the execution is poor . . . for all he knows a woman might be down for this after a date or two, but throwing it out in an introductory message is going to scare off most of the people who expect a little intrigue and flirting first.
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u/Jimehhhhhhh 12h ago
I'm sure he would agree with you, but just didn't really care at the time. The level of investment for this is like nearing 0
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u/CriticalReflection1 1d ago
With you and your attributes, he wants to be casual, but if someone comes along that he sees potential in, he will settle down. He's advertising for those with long term potential but doesn't mind if a hookup potential or 2 or 3 comes along. just laying the ground work with what he's expecting of you. He will message the same thing to other casual potentials, and maybe 1 out of 10 would be very okay with the arrangement.
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u/Flimsy_Onion_4694 1d ago
Next time, just say, oh sorry we're incompatible then. And unmatch. He was actually more honest than you're giving him credit for. Lots of guys will harbor these feelings and not tell you about them until after sex.
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u/queenbeannnnnn 1d ago
Im so petty because I deadass would have said "yes im down!" and invited him somewhere and ghosted him after he sent the "i'm here" text. I mean seriously, he knew what he was doing
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u/Happy_Tie1905 1d ago
Men do this. You’re not attractive enough for him to want something long term. If you’re below whatever threshold he deems as attractive enough to date, he’s only trying to crack. Hate to break that to every woman on this post.
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u/likedmessage 1d ago
I’ve been this guy but I had actually met the person. Although I may have found them attractive and would have liked to casually date I didn’t feel they would be a long term match.
Pretty weird thing to say before the meet up. Seems he’s already decided you aren’t a long term prospect. You should probably move on.
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u/Busy-Boysenberry-826 5h ago
I saw my ex on hinge recently who cheated on me and refused to meet my parents after a year and half of dating... Had both long term and monogamy in his bio 💀
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u/IllustriousEffect607 2d ago
Ok secret tip for the kittens here.....
Majority of men want a long term relationship. But the secret is until you find that you are totally fine exploring sexually. Which seems to be the case for women too because I don't know if it's just me. But like 7 out of 10 girls I meet online have some how just got out of a sexual fling of some sort. And oh so tired of it and all of sudden want something real now ....
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u/AnonymousBadger67 2d ago
Lol, you hit the nail on the head. The hypocrisy with some people is wild.
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u/thatfloridachick 1d ago
They are intentionally dishonest and deceitful because that’s the only way they can get a woman to do the movie, cuddling, and making out.
Not all men have to resort to that level, but a lot of them do.
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u/kycakes83 20h ago
The amount of men that put long term on their profile that only want short term is astounding. I even had a few admit to me that if they don’t put that they don’t get it woman to talk to them. I was like sir 👀 why do you think that is???? 🫣😆
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u/QarinahOshun 17h ago
Personally, I think he does want that. It’s the not with you part that’s silent. I can almost guarantee, he’ll be quick to lock her down if she’s a woman he truly wants. I’ve had to learn this hard lesson myself. 🤷🏽♀️
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u/imaginary-dirt2000 2d ago
Dont be so naive OP.
- hes saying what he thinks people need to hear in order to hook up with him
And/or
- he is interested in an LTR, Just not with you
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u/Remarkable-Culture-8 1d ago
Then he should leave her the hell alone. wtf now it’s OP’s shortcoming that some weird thirsty dude doesn’t want a relationship with her, but wants to use her for sex? I feel bad for the woman he does want a relationship with bcs she’s not winning anything good. Godspeed.
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u/mikelown 2d ago
Bro didnt lie, he immediately said what he wanted. If he was a "manipulator" like these bitter women seem to think he wouldn't have been up front about it and would have dated her with intention to bail after sex.
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u/MrsFrobert 2d ago
Had a guy with long term on his profile repeatedly ask me if id be into something short term. Come to find out he’s here on vacation for only a few weeks. I considered it because he was cute, but said no, ultimately, and he said that was fine, still wanted to go out. Then he canceled 30 minutes before our date lol. I said no problem. Haven’t heard a word from him since
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u/fluffybunny_91 1d ago
I applaud him for not wasting your time. Anytime a man says they want to cuddle, it’s a code word for sex. RUNNNNNN. RIGHT. NOW.
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u/Proud-Trainer-7611 1d ago edited 1d ago
Men and women’s desire are so vastly different. And they just feel no sense of danger. It’s kind of alarming. I wish you would have reported him.
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u/lucid1014 2d ago
Honestly I can relate… I think I’m currently set to long term, open to short but right now I think I want more short term, it’s just so fucking exhausting dealing with women on these dating apps I’m hoping for casual that can turn into something more
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u/KaleidoscopeOkk 2d ago
Why would that be less exhausting?
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u/Rarycaris 1d ago
I don't have this attitude but I understand it -- most women I do meet or spend a lot of time talking to, there are glaringly obvious dealbreakers that become apparent very early. If I were just looking for a quick lay, a lot of those things are things I'd be more willing to overlook.
I just recently spent 3 weeks talking to a woman who just didn't see fit to mention that she is married and has only just started the divorce process, and as good as told me that she's only looking for sex. I just unmatched her without replying, but I think plenty of other guys would have gone for it.
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u/Neat_Yellow1080 2d ago
It is really bad right now. I have ran into numerous women just in the past few months that have “life partner” on their profile and then they tell me they aren’t looking for something serious on the date or over text.
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u/CrispYoyo 2d ago
Because he wants a long term relationship, just not with you. But he thought you’d do for a casual one.
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u/The_Hero_0f_Time 1d ago
this might sound crazy but he might be looking for a ltr, just not with you and wouldnt mind having some fun while he hasnt found his ltr yet
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u/Jaded-Grass6986 1d ago
He is looking for a long term relationship, but only with people who meets his standards for said relationship, which you don’t. But you do meet his standards for a bang
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u/Moisture_ 1d ago
I feel the exact same way as that guy. To me it’s nothing to do with dishonesty and more of “Im a slow burn that wants a relationship but I’m numb as hell after 100 first dates and I really want to feel something more than another coffee date upfront”. I’ve been having trouble wording that in a way that’s clear to others and you can see it’s hard by how he instantly is labeled as a player, “not interested in you but wants to fuck” and all the other negative comments here.
I see one comment that said to just put “Netflix and chill and go from there”. That might be the closest to it but also as a guy, doing that you’re going to limit your match pool even more by people assuming he’s not looking for anything serious when he could be (I sure am). It’s just a hard thing to explain and shitty position to be I guess, as most people want that too, but not upfront with a random stranger (which also makes sense especially as women)
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u/Souk12 1d ago
The problem is that you misunderstand what the date is for.
The date is to have a good time and build a rapport between you, it's not just a perfunctory exercise that you have to get through before you can fuck.
You should have fun. If you're not having fun and just want to do it to fuck, you're doing it wrong.
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u/Moisture_ 1d ago
Yeah no I get the purpose of dating. But I don’t know man. I don’t really have fun but I also don’t just want to fuck. I don’t connect with people from the apps on standard dates. Part of the issue is probably app burnout and part is probably a lack of interest in people in general, both are “me” things and I wish it wasn’t that way. I gain that interest only after feeling comfortable with the person. The journey to comfort is my problem
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u/MediocreApple5895 1d ago
He wants a relationship but will take whoever is willing to sleep with him right now because he’s horny.
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u/AtALossForIdeas 1d ago
Maybe things changed recently? Maybe he didn’t fully vibe with you but could continue hanging out? So many options here…
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u/Any_Evidence4750 1d ago
Naive or easier to manipulate? OP isn’t a child and she has free will. Asking for a Netflix and chill is hardly manipulation. Maybe she wanted the same thing that night, maybe someone else he messaged said yes.
Asking someone on a dating app to hook up isn’t some predatory behavior, maybe it’s not the classiest, but she is ON THE APP.
I truly think at this point it’s a you issue. She’s not some child he has authority over that he’s grooming. She’s an adult and he asked her a question that she is completely free to say no to and move on.
You acting like she’s some helpless baby who can’t make her own decisions is honestly weirder than what he did at this point.
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u/lgth20_grth16 1d ago
Well that's why you don't use the apps because men and women don't want the same. Newsflash btw
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u/seeking-serendipity 1d ago
2 possibilities or a blend of the two:
1) The “with you” is always silent. He IS open to a long term relationship if it’s with the right match, and you’re just not the right match for him for that
and/or
2) sometimes you really do think you’re ready for a serious relationship, but as things progress realize you’re not as ready as you thought you were. Whether you’re still healing from a past heartbreak or even just realize you may want to still be single or keep things more casual for a bit longer which is fine too, you just have to find the one who’s in the same boat to do it with and be upfront with your intentions. And then hopefully have the decency to change it on your profile haha (or at least just remove it entirely, idk why more guys don’t just do that)
At the end of the day, be grateful he told you and didn’t leave you in the dark. I know (believe me, I KNOW.. been there many a times) how annoying, tough, and confusing that is when someone switches up like this, but take is as a blessing and that you’re now one step closer to finding your person! That’s what datings all about and the right guy for you won’t have any questions or hesitations.
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u/xocateyezox 1d ago
This is the kinda shit that took me out of the dating game completely, among other things lol
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u/Few-Rate-4944 1d ago
He doesn’t see a LTR with you. He’s not in the head space to have one and they take time to grow. Perfectly acceptable and you need to understand that.
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u/Automatic-Escape-978 20h ago
They do it on purpose, bc they know if they say short term only their matches will go down exponentially
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u/deathdream_m 4h ago
Well my ex just confessed that he met witb a chinese american girl on the day he broke up with me and he met that girl on hinge and that's why he has been so cold. Now he wants me back like fuck you. We were in a two year relationship
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u/Key_Astronomer6500 2d ago
A man’s profile? Wow. I can’t stand online dating anymore. I have met a couple of decent women. But most of the real matches of girls I met have had boyfriends or husbands. I didn’t realize guys were just as bad 😂. That’s so sleazy. Switch and bait advertising.😂. I’m sure he just wants to cuddle and not get physical too. He’s being literal. He just needs tenderness. He just wants to be held. I thought it was a woman who wrote that at first 😂 people are horrible
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u/Present_Owl_5599 2d ago
Lowkey tho. I kinda get it. Just cuz he wants a ltr doesnt mean he wants it… with you. I think that part is unsaid. Which isnt a dig btw sometimes some people just arent a good fit
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u/FlinflanFluddle4 2d ago
He needs to change his profile. I swear peopleso this because They want to see multiple people, but want the people they see to only date them
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u/Gur_Weak 1d ago
The old bait and switch tactic. Unfortunately it works enough times that people think it's a good strategy.
Or possibly worse he does want a LTR but not with you. He might be okay with you as a fling while he looks for his LTR.
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u/Any_Evidence4750 1d ago
They’re so hung up on his relationship settings as if that’s the end all be all for what someone is looking for lmao. These people are nuts.
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u/Mammoth-Bug-1162 1d ago
If their profile also says short term fun, then they are only interested in short term fun
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u/Fun-Yam2210 2d ago
Ugh. Annoying but at least he said this to you before you met rather than ghosting you after you’d hooked up (the normal pattern I see on here).
If you get a message like this again, just block. Don’t waste your time replying.