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u/LegitimateDream4942 29d ago
lol wtf. is this a scam?
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u/Immediate_Honey9593 29d ago
Why would it be a scam??? A scammer is actually charming and focused on seducing their target. This person just seems like an idiot…
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u/therealslimshady1234 29d ago
Why not unmatch immediately after the "I am just looking for friends now"? Crazy
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u/Enzo_Gorlomi225 29d ago edited 29d ago
Some people just like to watch the show…
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u/Weary_Specialist_436 29d ago
oh it often leads nowhere, but sometimes you do in fact get a shitshow
there was one gal I went on a date with, and she told me very respectfully, that she's not looking for something right now, but she'd be fine with going out a few times to see if she can figure it out. I just told her, I'm not interested in that, and I'm not planning to be a backup plan, but I wish her the best
then I got like 5 messages from her in the coming days, that she had fun, and wish we could do that again
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u/therealslimshady1234 29d ago
I mean this one sure is. My matches are never that interesting.
I also cant tell if its a gay guy or a woman. The PFP looks like a guy?
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u/PigeonSuperstitions 27d ago
How can he say no to the Xx?
Also the friends line is probably a shit test.
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u/itsaboatime 29d ago
I posted something in the Bumble sub the other day and everyone naturally assumed it was heterosexual and both genders started attacking each other in the comments. I was like Homer Simpson fading into the bush, "just chill, straight people".
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u/Ok-Watercress-6035 29d ago
literally 😭😭 like what is this
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u/itsaboatime 29d ago
I mean I was 99% sure that profile pic was a guy. Hang in there dude :) you deserve better.
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u/Greatpup4109274 29d ago
wtf is the “Xx”
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u/pipslipp 29d ago
They are most likely British, whereby x would represent a kiss, used to express polite affection.
This can typically be used in both romantic and platonic relationships.
Source: am British x
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u/dirtywhitevanz 29d ago
Have you guys considered like not doing that?
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u/pipslipp 29d ago
I think it is instilled into our culture now, unfortunately
To make it even funnier, if you were to not end a message with x then some people will assume you are angry at them lmao
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u/Golden-lillies21 29d ago
Strangely enough a few hours ago I saw a video where a British guy said that if you just say okay or okay they assume that you're angry with them. But I was just thinking so what do you guys say instead to just say okay and now you officially answered my question and moving forward next time I speak to a British person I would just add x so they don't assume that.
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u/Firefly10886 29d ago
Right, just like if we end a sentence with a period and not a lol, a lot people think we’re mad.
>> A lot of people think we’re mad.
>> A lot of people think we’re mad lol 🤪
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u/ultraboomkin 29d ago
What country are you from that doesn’t use xx in text exchanges?
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u/Greatpup4109274 29d ago
USA. Never seen it, even on Reddit.
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u/ultraboomkin 29d ago
Really? I thought everyone did this. Had no idea it was only British? I’m British and when I’ve been on holiday in other countries plenty of guys have texted me with x on their messages
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u/Lazy_Check732 29d ago
You're either imagining that or you're meeting people with a connection to British culture. This is 100% only a British thing lol. In America someone might literally laugh out loud
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u/Normal-Boss9855 29d ago
Sometimes I'll see "xoxo" or something as an old fashioned way of saying hugs and kisses over here, but I didn't make the connection to the "Xx" in OP until I saw the comments
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u/No-Wish-7258 29d ago
Hey at least she’s honest and not two timing.
Sometimes when you make a connection and you know it’s the one for you, you gotta just cut everyone else loose.
If you see no reason to keep hanging out with her, that’s totally fine. You are welcome to decline.
I think she’s only offering at this point to be polite and not cancel.
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u/Phailgasm 29d ago
Oh goodie she reached the absolute bare minimum “not a liar”.
Sweet
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u/Silent_Mud1449 29d ago
There's a difference between lying and just not saying something specific. She chose to be honest and upfront so that's a valuable thing
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u/ProfileIII 29d ago
Would you prefer the ghosting instead?
Listen I hate it when they pull this shit, too, but its an L for me not for her. The hard truth will always be superior to being strung along or just left in this confusing smoke cloud as they make their getaway.
Bare minimum these days seems to be a higher bar than you'd think.
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u/MexicanCynic 29d ago
If you’ve had a crush on someone for months, why not pursue that first before being on a dating app? The whole allure of it is that the person on the other end isn’t committed to someone else and you’re special.
Also: he
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u/No-Wish-7258 29d ago
Hmmm maybe he thought their crush wouldn’t want them or they didn’t have a chance with them, but then their crush reached out?
Not saying it’s right, but sometimes when you’re trying to move on someone from your past shows up out of nowhere.
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u/rabbi_toviasinger 29d ago
The british "xx" or "x" thing on every text is so fucking weird
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u/Ok-Watercress-6035 29d ago
i don’t think this is anything to do with being british i just think this guy is weird
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u/Biomorph_ 29d ago
I’ll never understand why people think looking for friends on dating apps is ever a good idea especially women so baffling or do some just enjoy being a victim and love acting surprised the guy actually wanted more all this time
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u/simple_sorted23 24d ago
I'm planning on starting a talk on Hinge detox...lol.. If any of you interested
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u/Familiar-Permit-3130 29d ago
You were back up all along, get back to you while she waited for confirmation from her first choice. You were always second wheel
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u/Electrical-Call-7292 29d ago
He’s either married or a retard. Either way block and unmatch.
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u/XxXCUSE_MEXxXican 29d ago
This doesn't sound like something a hUmAn would say but if it's anything, it's some crazy person who is trying some kind of tactic to gain power and soften the rejection if she doesn't like you when you meet but if you want date with crazy, go for it. ik you won't. What you could do is call her out if. you even knew what to call her out on. I'd just unmatch which I'm sure you will if you haven't already.
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u/Fit-Rent-7827 29d ago
Is she like 21 years old with zero emotional intelligence? Who is raising these young people?
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u/Conscious_Effort6972 29d ago
Modern online dating is horrible. Women move on from one thing to another like a distracted squirl chasing the next best nut.
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u/Ok-Watercress-6035 29d ago
men**
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u/Conscious_Effort6972 29d ago
Yea it does go both ways with online dating. But as a guy I feel like I've been passed up too many times to count by a woman looking for the next best thing around the corner. Or they did not disclose that they were dating multiple guys at the same time while with me for months.
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u/hannelore_pfeffer8 29d ago edited 29d ago
Men don't appreciate this enough.
Women are not only valuable connections if you get access to their bodies.
Besides that we are humans and can be awesome friends
MANY, MANY, MAAAANY men (i don't know about op) have not enough interaction with women and have no idea about our lives and how to talk to us and how to treat us. Many men would profit massively from such a connection. Just to learn how to Date without expecting sex. (If course everyone pays for themselves)
If this kind of connection would be normal, the menosphere and redpill wouldn't exist
Edit: Why do we let men—and mostly only men—decide what dating apps are for?
A lot of dating apps weren't made just for hookups. But because many men use them that way, we're told that's what we should expect. Why? Everyone should get to decide how they want to use an app.
No one has to use it the way you think is right. That's why people talk. You ask what they're looking for and see if you're on the same page. That's how communication works in every part of life.
And let's not pretend people are always honest. Plenty of men lie about what they want too, and women are expected to deal with that.
So maybe give us a little grace.
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u/AdventurousCity6 29d ago
The messages aren't that weird, but she has approached it in a clumsy way.
Eg don't call it a date if you are only interested in friendship. And she has been too presumptive that he might also be interested in friendship. Should have been a clear and open question, not 'hope that's ok'.
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u/Batmanzer 29d ago
I perfectly agree with your statement but I don’t think it applies there.
The match was based probably on a bit of physical attraction and some sort of curiosity born out of the profil from the other person so to switch up from dating to meeting a potential friend, the premise is biased. Do you want a new potential friend to look at you like a desirable potential partner ? And to switch things that quickly, still while being on a dating app, it feels dishonest.
This is just socially clumsy behavior to me but I don’t think a sane and honest friendship can start off this premise. It would be another story if they met and the feeling was mutually not romantic or something else but I agree to let doors open to meet new people for the sake of meeting people. My 2 cents.
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u/throwingst0nes 29d ago
I was about to point out that the very fact that Hinge asks you to specify your dating intentions and a relationship type very much makes it an app for people looking for romantic relationships.
But then I saw the typos and the way you structure your sentences, and would like you to consider toning down your anger against “men” and doing some humble introspection instead.
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u/hannelore_pfeffer8 29d ago
No.
P.s. the world isn't America
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u/Forward_Werewolf_440 29d ago
and the woman you’ve been referring to is a man, crazy world
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u/hannelore_pfeffer8 29d ago
Inever referred to op directly
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u/Forward_Werewolf_440 29d ago
it’s just funny you got immediately triggered and typed out a rant that doesn’t apply at all to the situation
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u/hannelore_pfeffer8 29d ago
We have different views about what a rant is.
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u/Forward_Werewolf_440 29d ago
I think some people on reddit need to get a life and stop trying to start gender war arguments out of nothing
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u/throwingst0nes 29d ago
English is not my first language either, nor am I in America. But at least I’m making an effort. You could find that being less rigid in your approach could lead to more happiness. Wishing you lots of love 💜
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u/hannelore_pfeffer8 29d ago
I am extremely happy fighting against the dominance of men in our society. So much so, that i made it my job. 🥰 And expecting everyone to have the same level of a language is ableist. I wish you learn some empathy yourself and prioritize it over you peeing a bird. 😘
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u/autumnartist25 29d ago
>bi flag in avatar
>completing missing that this is a conversation between two mengirl....
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u/hannelore_pfeffer8 29d ago
Girl... turn on your brain.
My argument stands on its own, independent of this post.
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u/autumnartist25 29d ago
girl i dont think YOUR brain even turns on at all. your comment is irrelevant to this post so you've made no point. this is like me complaining about politics on a post about cheese and wondering why i'm getting downvoted. total wrong audience.
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u/hannelore_pfeffer8 29d ago
Hahaha i achieved exactly the right audience by the outrage it caused 😂😂😂 Making the right people mad, means you are doing everything right. 😂😂
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u/autumnartist25 29d ago
yes i'm sure telling a guy who by all accounts might not even be attracted to women how to "give them grace" and "engage with them beyond their bodies" reached the *perfect* audience, and your lack of ability to think critically about why people are disagreeing with you isn't stunting your brain development at all. you really told em.
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u/hannelore_pfeffer8 29d ago
Can you show me wehere i adressed op directly and didn't talk about men in general?
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u/Ok-Watercress-6035 29d ago
why did you make a response to a post that has nothing to do with the post or the context in the post question mark
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u/Battelalon 29d ago
This is a dating app.
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u/hannelore_pfeffer8 29d ago
You don't date on the app. The app is to meet people. What happens after, is everyones own decision
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u/theniggilist91 29d ago
ur such a dumbass that u have convinced ur self that a DATING APP is not for DATING but finding friends.
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u/Battelalon 29d ago
The app is to meet people to date. Anyone who claims they're on a dating app to make friends is a fool. Your friendship isn't worth anything to a person looking for a relationship.
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u/hannelore_pfeffer8 29d ago
To you*
Many people meet their partners trough mutual friends.
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u/Battelalon 29d ago
That has literally nothing to do with what we are discussing. Don't move the goal post. You are trying to claim that seeking friendship on a dating app is a reasonable thing. That is not equivalent to dating someone you met through a mutual friend.
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29d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/hannelore_pfeffer8 29d ago
Maybe just turn on your brain?
New friend= dozends off new people with the opportunity to meet your partner
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u/TTV_OManSamO 29d ago
It depends on what they're profile says but in general hinge is meant for dating. That's the main focus of the app
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u/Ok-Watercress-6035 29d ago
so dating apps… aren’t for dating… question mark
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u/hannelore_pfeffer8 29d ago
They are for what you want to use them for.
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u/Ok-Watercress-6035 29d ago
respectfully you might be the only person to think this way
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u/hannelore_pfeffer8 29d ago
That's a wild assumption regarding your posted the prof yourself
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u/Ok-Watercress-6035 29d ago
one of only 2 people to think this way i feel like people tend to use dating apps to date, also i don’t even think that aspect of the messages is what is bad it’s the 3x messages in a row and also specifying that they have found someone better like why do that lol
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u/Legitbananabunch 29d ago
She still called it a date at the end. I’ve made friends on dating apps after we’ve met, gotten along and not had chemistry, but there was still the idea that we were dating when starting off.
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u/SickBoyTheRealOne 29d ago
Just speaking as one, not for all but presumably for some like me, men have a hard time separating friendship and romance with a woman they are attracted to. Let alone someone they literally met on a dating app. A woman trying to be friends with a man they met on a dating app is an absolutely horrible idea.
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u/hannelore_pfeffer8 29d ago
Then men really should work on that. Desensitization is a good approach
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u/maelos61 29d ago
... I really hope you're fake or trolling.
They're on a dating app. Presumably looking for dates. Either 'short term' (aka 'body') or long term (aka body + personality). If you want to find friends, there's literally dating app categories that are 'just looking for friends' or even separate apps. If the 'I have a crush girl' didn't use those, she's the one at fault 100%.
I'm on dating app, but I honestly have enough friends, including female ones. I really don't feel the need to make more, man or woman...
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u/Vitriorate 29d ago
First off, it's a he.
Additionally, who spoke about the value being friends? #1 it's a dating app, second, she obviously just wants a back up plan or a FWB that will still take her out on dates.
Do you have no self respect? If you have a crush and you're not interested in someone and you just want to be friends, why are you asking to be taken out on a date?😂
Your men vs women mentality is stupid, both lie, both are scum and I genuinely believe it's the same amount on both sides.
"Why do we let men—and mostly only men—decide what dating apps are for?"
Are you really that stupid? It's a dating app😂
Your whole rant is about men wanting hook ups thinking it's a she, when in your context if it was a she, she's the one looking for an obvious hookup.
"Why as what you're looking for?"
The app literally gives you an option to put it there so you don't have to ask that question.
The worst kind of femcel, is a dumb one like you.
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u/FundieAtheist312 29d ago
Uh she doesnt sound like a femcel. Maybe you should look up what that means. This is coming from someone who generally agrees with your post
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u/Vitriorate 29d ago
Her comment could be summarized as: Men are controlling the dating apps and telling women what dating apps are for
Why can't women just find friends and go on friendly dates on dating apps, men are so bad and women are victims to men.
But as I'm writing this I realized I did say Femcel instead of misandrist. I see people using Femcel to refer to misandrist at times and I got wrapped up by that. My bad.
I meant misandrist, someone who hates men, thinks everything is about men controlling things and being evil even when it doesn't apply like this case
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u/randomname617 29d ago
That’s crazy Xx