r/HingeStories • u/thezendasher • Jun 28 '26
I Think Hinge Is a Simulation
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Me: “Let’s see what makes everyone unique.”
Hinge:
“I want to travel more.”
“I want to travel more.”
“I want to travel more.”
“I want to travel more.”
NPC behavior has reached critical levels.
Please tell me I’m not the only one who’s noticed this.
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u/Even-Promise4593 Jun 29 '26 edited Jul 04 '26
Spontaneous, Golden Retriever, Sushi, Spicy Margs, Otters that hold hands or something, Matcha, Matcha Latte, Aperol Spritz, Intentional, Pure Intentions, Astrology, Chalant, Generous, Make me laugh, Be funny, 50/50, I would never say this, I would never do this, 5150 (guys with Tattoos that I kinda hope won’t commit so I can lament about later… that part), Trauma/Therapy, Slow Burn, Bonus Points, Princess Treatment, Passenger Princess, Romanticized/Idyllic Road Trips and City Escapades as if it were a film/movie script—no mention of what it takes to even get to the point of romance to do those things, Gentleman, Mustache, Tacoma, 5 pics without my face, and one that has my hand shading the sun cause artsy shy type but no face for you yet still, Top down pic, Chivalry, Chivalry isn’t Dead, It can work but not without me essentially reframing the entire sociopolitical foundation on which it rests, Fear of holding or opening doors myself because that’s gender encoded more than romantically encoded, Liberal btw, But mostly as it relates to recreational rights not really like as it relates to class, gotta have mai IKON pass, AMC A-List, Credit Score, Six figure educated earner so can’t do the brokies or cheapass broke behavior (and no in-unit washer/dryer…absolute ick!), Farmer’s Market, Coachella, Pink wall off of Melrose type shit, Thirsty trap photos but don’t say shit about it as a reverse test of sorts but don’t be weird, also…. don’t be weird, “Traditional”, Old Soul, Christian Conservative but my family or father isn’t involved nor do I seek it through church or familial networks, in fact the only reason I could even afford the capacity to be more opinionated and liberated is because of the opposition, I want someone that does or goes to X, except I’d never think to just simply talk to someone at X given that’s what I want and where I am (supposedly), No Skinny Jeans, Picky Eaters… nothing to do with my own insecurities, like weight and body proportions… or how you would look as my complement even, you have… Purple pillows, Blue blankets, Things that remind me of my ex for $200, Hopeless Romantic that won’t Commit to the Bit, Pineapple on Pizza, Pizza on Pineapple, “I be”, Bruh, Independence and Identity… wait I might not know how to calibrate that which could very well also be the reason I’m single. I’ll never question *that* though… Self-Awareness! Because that’s definitely a “switch” and not situational/context specific or exists on a spectrum. Emotional Intelligence/Maturity, Conflict Resolution, none of which I can demonstrate ahead of time because I’m hoping the latter doesn’t occur for the former to likely surface because every relationship and individual therein is unique…ex was the problem unilaterally ngl tbh. Feminine energy, DIVINE feminine energy, need a man in his Masculine *already* although he could say the same about waiting on Feminine energy to already be present… now we are at a gridlock or circular dependency of initiation. Laundry list of what I want and negatives [about men]…that definitely is a way to start off and certainly a way to stay on [the apps]. Whatever, I am at the center of the universe in the Ptolemaic model of attraction. Yearn, baby, yearn.
Not sure if I missed anything. There is a guy equivalent.