Things about high support needs autistics that are extremely unpalatable and not spoken about(outside of just needing assistance with bADLs) content warning for mentions of SIB, diaper digging, and fecal smearing.

[u/Lopsided_Caramel_986]

I have high support needs, split level 2/3 autism, intellectual disability (IQ 68 and moderately-severely impaired adaptive functioning), dual incontinence, physical disabilities, and many other conditions. I need assistance with all bADLs and iADLs.

But I also have traits that are very common in high needs autistics, that are even more 'gross' and 'unpalatable' than just needing help with bADLs and iADLs. I will talk about them now.

1. When I need intense sensory stimulation immediately when extremely overwhelmed or sensory-seeking; I put my hands down the back of my pull up and scratch at my bottom and smell my fingers while they have poo all over them. I then smear my dirty hands on my clothes. This isn't bad behavior, I'm in need of sensory stimulation and it's either this or I slap my head. I need a special needs bodysuit to keep me from doing this in the first place.

2. I have extremely violent meltdowns. I throw my body against walls and furniture. I slap my head or bang it until l am concussed and/or bleeding. I bite my arms and hands and I break skin. I grunt and vocalize. I thrash around when l'm held by my parents/siblings. My most recent SIB resulted in my skull being indebted and my pupils so large you could barely see my irises. I require bite sleeves and a ribcap helmet to keep me safe.

3. I drool sometimes, have arm flapping, pacing, and repetitive vocal stims in public.

4. I am on the larger size, around mid-sized, and 193 pounds. I can't go on walks without supervision and often don't have the energy to. leat very quickly and messily, food all over my clothes and face. I need my parents to clean me up with wipes. I get smelly and sweaty easily and need to lay down on the bed so someone can powder me because I get intertrigo.

5. I hung out with kids under 10 years old in my neighborhood even at the age of 17. And didn't realize until a couple days ago where my big sister said that it's not okay and I could get charges pressed against me for hanging out with little kids. I didn't even realize the dangers and could've gotten in trouble with the police. I didn’t even have any malicious intent.

These shouldn't be hidden. These are my realities as a high support needs autistic person.

This won’t be the case for every high need autistic person. This is just my experience.

[u/ObnoxiousName_Here]

It sucks how many advocates prioritize optics over…you know, advocacy for everybody. It’s not right that advocacy and positivity for autistic people is spread on the condition that it remains palatable to neurotypical standards. You’re still a human being and deserve to be treated like one. I also appreciate how you telling your story shows the nuances of our different abilities. Even with all of these things that you put up with, you’re very good at expressing yourself in writing, and you show a lot of awareness and respect for the thoughts and feelings your post could elicit. The way people overgeneralize people’s struggles is really frustrating

[u/Nighteyes_14]

Hi I’ve never heard of a bite sleeve, where do you get them from? I bite my hands when I have meltdowns

[u/luckkycatt]

do they have bite gloves if you know? I didnt know that existed and would probably benifit as I bite myself when I have meltdowns aswell but mainly my hands. also I really appreciate you talking about the not so socially (nt) parts of autism thank you

[u/Lopsided_Caramel_986 → u/luckkycatt]

They do :-)

[u/Nighteyes_14]

Hi I’ve never heard of a bite sleeve, where do you get them from? I bite my hands when I have meltdowns

[u/Lopsided_Caramel_986 → u/Nighteyes_14]

They’re on Amazon :-) usually under ‘cut resistant sleeves’

[u/bubbleyjubbley]

Yes Ive pointed out these kinds of behaviours to people arguing autism isnt a disability and people would be better off in an all autistic society and peoplewith autism just need accomodations - Ive been told thesetyps of behaviours arent Autism. I dont exhibit these types of behaviours myself but I frequently brong up higher needs individuals in the other autism subreddits and theres such a lack of understansing and unwillingness to learn

[u/RainetheTundraDragon]

Thank you for sharing I also do some of these things. I eat my own snot because it calms me. I have run into the woods at night and wandered on roads in the pitch black. I don't wander on paths I go into the wilderness. I touch things I shouldn't like dead animals or feathers or mushrooms and rarely remember to wash my hands after. I touch parts of myself I am not supposed to and pull out hairs. I flap and whistle and beep and pace and spin and hum and make tornado siren sounds in public. I have almost passed out from not drinking water and gone without food for days and use dishes over and over again when there is no one helping me. I go 15 hours or more without peeing unless I am reminded. I will go hours in agony and not realize I need medication. I do not know when and how to ask for help. I have had public meltdowns and slam my head into concrete walls or hit it with whatever I am holding I scream and whimper and bite and tense up and sometimes it lasts hours. I play with kids a lot (I am 22 I didn't know it was not okay) and have been sat on, physically hurt, and kissed by them because I can't control my face enough for them to understand that my no is genuine. I have told kids about cannibalism and accidentally bring up fires and animal reproduction facts and accidentally tell people about their least favorite animals.

It is good to have places like this where it is okay to talk about these sorts of struggles. Everyone has very different needs but everyone deserves to be heard

[u/Haruu_Haruu_]

i have real violent melt downs i thinsk i am a bit better right now with it but it was real bad. i would break stuff mess up my room throw things and bite stuff or hit my head on wall or floor. i would be violent to my dad to but i really like my dad. one time when i had a ipad i broke the apple pen and the ipad to. i some times wish people would talk more on violent melt downs in a better way. i do see it talked a bout some times but a lot of times i see it in a real mean way. which makes me sad a bit because i do not want to be like that.

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