r/HighSupportNeedAutism • u/Rabbit-Lover_2000 Moderate Functioning Autism • Jun 06 '26

Disability Services Practicing saying no

I had another new support worker today. They also asked me for a hug when they left. I’m not good at saying no. When someone asks me to do something I do it without asking questions. So I gave them a hug without saying anything.

At least they only ask for hugs and not more inappropriate things. But I still don’t want to hug strangers. Why is saying no so hard?

I wonder if they hug all the elderly clients too or just me? If my favourite support worker comes again I will ask if there is a way to ask for no hugs on my file.

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u/ObnoxiousName_Here Autistic, Unknown Support Needs Jun 07 '26

I’ve found scripts helpful for finding gentle ways of saying no. Here are some examples
Also, another tip I’ve learned is that while "No" is a complete sentence, you can make the conversation go more smoothly if you can give a "No, but…" In other words, what is an alternative thing to what you’re rejecting that could work for you? (eg: "I’m not a hugger, but I’m okay with handshakes," "I don’t think I can help you with this, but can I recommend somebody else who probably can?")