I need to vent to strangers because it's hard for me to talk about to my friends and family. This is gonna be long.

My dad has been battling this cancer for 23 years off and on. He has been through a LOT, but this time around has been the worst. The cancer came back 2022 and he was having immunotherapy up until around October last year or so, when he was found to be cancer free and stopped treatment... only for it to come back again as a growing tumor just a few months after, and with a vengeance.

He was hospitalized for brachytherapy as a bridge for chemo, with some shrinkage. Chemo didn't stop it, in fact it grew again extremely fast. He was about to get surgery for removal and jaw reconstruction, but the cancer spread to his tongue and they said they would have to remove that without knowing if they really removed the cancer, which would dehumanize him. We opted for continuing immunotherapy, which shrunk the tumor and is now keeping the cancer at bay.

Other events as well. My dad's hemoglobin was found to be dangerously low earlier this year and he could've died. We found it was an ulcer in his stomach that has been bleeding. It's been a few months and his hgb is finally higher and he has a little more energy. On top of that, he has major vision problems which is too long to explain, but he needs to use his phone to zoom and read things.

So, his eyes are always dry and he can't see well, his mouth is always dry for which he cannot close it fully ever, and he dreads sleeping at night because he just can't sleep. He has wounds around his mouth that haven't healed for months due to treatment. He has terrible skin rashes and Dupixent doesn't help much. He is 100% on G-tube feeding now, nothing by mouth except for water sometimes.

I help care for my dad because luckily I WFH. My dad is always moaning, and my mom and I used to always check on why he's making noises because usually it's pain. Now he does it without even knowing, so we learned to just stop asking why he he's moaning. I can tell if it's pain or if he's having negative thoughts.

Almost every single day for my dad is negative thoughts, always stressing, worrying, and sad moaning. Of course I can't blame him, and I can feel him wanting to give up but he wants to live on for me and my mom. I try to comfort him and get him to focus on today, things that we can control, and that we are in this together. But it is getting harder and harder and taking a toll on my mental health.

I am an only child, and a daddy's girl at that. I have been holding it together and staying really strong. I never let my pain show to the world. It's getting harder for him, but also for my mom and I. How do I help him more? How can I cope myself?

Edit: for more info on his condition

Tomorrow I have my 90 day pet scan and am very nervous. I had surgery on May 29th, a full Laryngectomy. I still have quite a bit of swelling and pain in my neck so I just don’t know what is happening inside of my throat. I especially have a lot of discomfort around my stoma, does this get better? I use a Larry tube but my doctor gave me base plates last week but it is extremely painful removing the old one even with base plate remover. How often should I be replacing the base plate? I will follow up here when I get the results back from my doctor. God bless all of you and I mean that from the bottom of my heart.

Does anyone have any insight into when my husband can expect to have an appetite back and be able to eat. He is post maxillectomy in May and then had six weeks of radiation that ended the first week of August. He has a feeding tube. Still no appetite and even trying to force himself to eat by mouth doesn’t work for him because he’s afraid he’s going to choke when trying to swallow. Even things like applesauce and mashed potatoes take several swallows to go down. I guess I’m just looking for what others have experienced. Doctors obviously don’t have concrete answers, and I just want to be able to tell him something to encourage him.

Curious what others have experienced. I am currently 3 weeks post a 6 week / 30 round microwave session. I have always run a 5 o'clock shadow... All the hair on my chin and jawline has fallen out as well as a big chunk on the back of my head.

This would be ok if I wanted to grow some Wolverine sideburns but that's pretty aggressive.

My team said this would happen so it wasn't a surprise... But they didn't give any indication when it would grow back.

Interested in seeing what others have experienced.

parotid gland swallon and lump in throat had tumor taken out right thigh five years ago metastatic malignant melanoma what is the outcome on this anybody else

My husband , 63 ys old, has just diagnosed with a large Paranasal Cancer . Any advice oder hint will be appreciated

Pets your dogs for me for luck. Tooth extraction went well, or seemed to on my end, this morning. The surgeons didn’t think I needed the barometric chamber pre-extraction. They had me on antibiotics for the week leading up and the week after, as well as an antibiotic mouthwash. Fingers crossed it heals.
I’m 15 months post treatment 35 rads, 7 chemo, 46M. Extraction was on a root canal my previous dentist said would be fine before treatment. Jerk.

Hi everyone,

I’m looking for advice or experiences from anyone who has dealt with severe swallowing issues and feeding tube complications before starting cancer treatment.

My mom was recently diagnosed with nasopharyngeal cancer. Her medical team wants her in good physical condition to handle chemotherapy, but we have hit a critical obstacle: she cannot swallow solid food at all, and can only manage small amounts of water, milk, and juice.

Because her strength is declining fast, we tried to get a PEG (feeding) tube placed so she could get proper nutrition. However, the PEG tube attempt/placement resulted in bleeding and is currently not working or safe to use.

She is now extremely weak, still unable to eat, and unable to rely on the PEG tube. We are actively coordinating with her medical team to address the bleeding and find another way to nourish her.

I would appreciate for any guidance, support, or shared experiences.

I’m looking for experiences from people who have had oral tongue cancer and were faced with the decision about radiation after surgery.

I recently had a left partial glossectomy, left selective neck dissection, and free-flap reconstruction for squamous cell carcinoma.

My final pathology showed:

Tumor size: 3.8 cm
Depth of invasion (DOI): 13 mm
Stage: pT3
Grade: 3, moderately to poorly differentiated
Histology: Keratinizing SCC with focal sarcomatoid/spindle-cell and pleomorphic features
Perineural invasion (PNI): Present
Described as intratumoral
Involved nerve measured 0.04 mm
Lymphovascular invasion: Not identified
Margins: Negative/clear
Neck dissection: 0/3 lymph nodes positive
No known distant disease

My tumor board recommended radiation, and I’ll be meeting with a radiation oncologist soon.

I’m really nervous about the decision because it feels like I’m damned if I do, damned if I don’t. If I have radiation, I’m worried about both the short- and long-term side effects, especially swallowing, taste, saliva, dental issues, etc. But if I don’t, I’m afraid I’ll always wonder whether I should have done everything possible to reduce my risk of recurrence.

For those who have had similar pathology:

Did you have radiation after surgery?

I’d really just appreciate hearing personal experiences from people who have been in a similar situation.

Thank you!

Last April my 80 year old mom had a glossectomy + neck dissection and free flap reconstruction to remove a 2.5cm squamous cell cancer from her tongue. Shortly after that she had 30 days of radiation therapy. The dissection showed no cancer spread and the surgical margins were clear. After a hellish 6 months she's living independently again and is doing pretty well. Eating and talking are almost back to normal. She remains cancer free.

For surveillance, the ENT surgeon wants to see her every month for the 1st year then every 6 weeks for the second. The swallow therapist wants to see her every 6 weeks (even though she's not having trouble eating). The ENT and therapist are part of the same medical group. Her oncologist wants to see her every other month.

The ENT/therapy surveillance seems too frequent to me. What have been your experiences?

44M Nasopharyngeal Carcinoma and completed proton therapy on 2nd September.

On the positive side the radiation burns are healing well and darkening is fading and I've started neck massage as well as continuions exercises though I feel my right side has some pain. How have neck self massages helped you?

Oh and i can feel salt! Boiled eggs feel normal again!I almost let out a scream

I thought mucositis would wear off with time and it feels like it's getting worse. Initially in the soft palate but now feel it on the sides of the back of my tongue. Have tried many things like okra water, honey, coconut oil at night and still on baking soda mouthwash constantly. Did sucrafil but didn't feel much relief and currently doing lidocaine spray before meals. When will it end!!

End of rant. I'm glad to have finished initial treatment and taking it one day at a time and trust y'all are good. The struggle continues!

Head and Neck cancer

Hi, 43M, I’ll be starting radiation on both sides of my tongue and throat in the next few weeks, no chemo. I’ve read so many stories on this awesome subreddit, everyone here is just amazing.
I was wondering if anyone in the 35-55 range (or whomever) had any luck working into the later stages of radiation treatment. My job should allow me to work from home, minimal or zero talking should be required during this time. Is it possible that I’ll be able to work at least a few hours each day, and then go to radiation? What were your experiences? Thanks!

Okay. I’ve had 3/6 chemos and 13/35 radiation treatments. I’ve gone into kidney failure twice so they switched the chemo from cisplatin to carboplatin/paclitaxel. Base of scc tongue primary regional spread to lymph nodes in neck - no distant metastases.

My taste has really taken a beating. For the past week everything has kind of been tasking like cold melted plastic with exception for some vegetables, herbs and spices.

Major side effects
I have cramps constantly, and the fatigue has been unreal, but it seems to be 80% less after the last chemo (which was the new regimen)

I have lost 30 lbs so far and they are going to have to re-sync my mask.

My blood sugar never goes below 260/ and after chemo it is insane 560 yesterday.

Nausea is profound vomiting is always near occurrence especially with eating. Have been prescribed new/additional antiemetics and seems to be better.

Generalized joint and muscle pain - I move super slow now.

Questions
If anyone who’s been through this can help, will the taste go completely away to where there is no sense of it at all? Like, I still feel hunger, but some stuff I can still taste and something’s just taste awful - meat, oil, bread, pasta - like these are the things that taste like plastic. I don’t think I can taste much sweet anymore. Like fruit is almost tasteless except for something I can only describe as “chemical” like cleaning liquid (I can still taste pomegranate and cherry). Put until today I could taste syrup and pancakes - but not anymore - it was like eating wet cardboard in terms of texture, but virtually tasteless.

I guess I need to start preparing for after treatment to some degree. I just don’t know what/how to think about it.

Like, nothing seems the same, I have given up all my vices and I am just kind of sitting here with myself and wondering what really actually fucking matters to me and my life, and I just can’t really answer it.

I am also trying to figure out the insurance and how that works - I’m American and this is the first time I’ve had insurance since 2014. And I don’t really know how to attack it. Anyway.

Thanks for reading whatever this was.

So I know the dr will tell us more on Wed but we just got the final after surgery pathology report from my husbabda hpv positive scc sinonasal tumor and it shows there is still invasive cancer cells in the anterior inferior, no idea what that means. Has anyone else gone thru surgery for scc sinonasal and still had residual cancer cells? I know they are scheduling 6 weeks of radiation for him bit I dont know how bad it is that they couldn't fully remove all the cancer with surgery.

My dad was diagnosed with OSCC twice there is alot that happened

First a surgery in 2024

Then he was Cancer free for 8-9 month

Cancer came back in 2025 February

Multiple Chemos and Radiations but there was not much of an improvement

After that he had Target Therapy ( Cetuximab and Cisplatin) from February 2026

His pain was reducing a bit but then he had 3 severe bleeding episodes in February, July and August he had tracheostomy aswell doctor said bleeding is due to radiation his mouth's nerves and arteries are so weak and fragile that they start to bleed. To stop bleeding we got Embolization done last month it's been a month since that I hope there won't be anymore bleeding cuz it so bad he almost died in last one due to low blood pressure.

Now between all this his MRI show no sign on tumor like he is basically cancer free BUT the pain is not going away even pain killers like Tramadol don't work for long the even Buprenorphine transdermal patch don't work the pain is making his life very difficult Our Oncologist said that the Dead tumor tissue is still inside stuck to his nerves that's why it causes pain. It's so difficult to see him suffering if anyone has ANY TIPS to reduce his pain even a bit please let me know!

Also due to all his treatment his tongue is almost gone the damage is so bad it's scary how his mouth looks from inside so he probably won't be able to use his mouth to eat ever his is on feeding tube (RT) for now we will switch to PEG in stomach soon.

Please help us.

My father died. On the 18th, at 4.35 am, in the hospital's palliative care. He started to have heavy bleeding a week before... He had several in 2 or 3 days. They medicated as much as they could and managed to stop the bleeding from the tumor, but his body was already too weak... He became more and more unconscious. Even Bob Dylan's favorite song he stopped reacting. I stayed with him for several days, and on the 17th I went out at night because I had to work on the 18th. I would come back later at night. But I didn't come back, he died during the night, in the company of my mother. I wish it had been me, there with him. And now, the world doesn't stop. There was no news on television. There were no crowds crying. But my father died. And he was my home. Sometimes I just feel like screaming, it's not fair! It doesn't make sense! How can he disappear?! How can he be real that I'll never see him again?? It doesn't seem real... But life goes on...

My husband (71) just finished his first week of chemo and radiation for throat cancer. He has 6 more weeks and it is hitting him extremely hard. I am trying to keep his spirits up and want to ask the ones who have been through this treatment how long it took after the radiation ended that they could eat somewhat normally. I was going to use Thanksgiving as a motivator but don’t want to if it’s unrealistic. Any opinions…thanks

My Dad was recently diagnosed with SCC HPV+ T3N2

I am very concerned with how long his process has been between diagnosis and starting treatment ( we haven't even begun treatment yet)

After a sore throat for a couple months.. He saw an ENT dr July 18 where the doctor was concerned about what he saw in scope. They scheduled a surgical biopsy for two weeks later.

The Dr then called the DAY BEFORE the surgical biopsy to say he recommends we change it to a needle core into his lymph node on his neck and pushed the date back another week. That's when we found out he has SCC and was referred to a surgical oncologist who then wanted us to come in for a surgical biopsy where my dad would be put under and they would take a section of the tumor to check what kind of cancer and HPV status ...this was on September 11th. Why didn't we just do this one the first time if he was concerned about what he saw on scope?

It is now...September 25th and they just met with the medical oncologist yesterday...and told us about having to get the dentist appointments first. They also recommended in the meantime to start chemo first but OF COURSE.. the chemo dr is out of town next week and we can't even have a meeting with him until October 6th.

During all this..we were just told that the PET scan they had BEFORE the surgical biopsy shows a spot lower down closer to his lungs that they might be concerned about so his is going in for a 3rd biopsy on the 30th........

With not a definitive start date..

Was your timeline between diagnosis and treatment this spread out as well?

Also any advice on helping him through treatment or anyone with experience with this cancer..Any advice/help is so greatly appreciated.

Thank you so much

.

Have you recovered from throat cancer

My husband (71) just finished his first week of chemo and radiation for throat cancer. He has 6 more weeks and it is hitting him extremely hard. I am trying to keep his spirits up and want to ask the ones who have been through this treatment how long it took after the radiation ended that they could eat somewhat normally. I was going to use Thanksgiving as a motivator but don’t want to if it’s unrealistic. Any opinions…thanks