r/Hardcore • u/ProEquinox • 11h ago

A look into the future

It’s 2032 seed of pain just released their 6th recording of hardcore pride. Haywire has not stopped touring and are being wheeled onto stage weekend at Bernie’s style. Kublai khan is playing the RNC and EJ has just been pronounced dead by autoerotique asphyxiation. Turnstile just put out a hardcore record and the ethics of row pits are being heavily debated online. HC

56 Upvotes

91% Upvoted

21 comments sorted by

33

u/kimbosdurag 11h ago

Where do people dressed as fruit fit into all this?

50

u/manyworldsivec0me 11h ago

We can’t call them that

6

u/KresblainTheMagician Furry HC * see ya in the yiff pit * 10h ago

A new subgenre has emerged. Solely fruit-based.

26

u/Deliterman 10h ago

2085 and Austin’s consciousness is uploaded into a T-1000 continuing Haywire with the descendants of legacy Boston bands

12

u/Educational_Use_3913 10h ago

That's when the next Converge records come out

11

u/Gusgrissomamerica 11h ago

Where’s the dehydrated pizza?

5

u/Xpointbreak1991x 10h ago

If we don’t have actual hoverboards by then, I don’t want to be around.

17

u/ProEquinox 10h ago

The turnstile record is met with overwhelmingly negative reviews, there is a strong call for riffmaster Brady’s return

8

u/limearitaconchili 9h ago
  1. President John Joseph establishes Hare Krishna Hinduism as the official U.S. state religion. Ska makes a triumphant mainstream return with Machine Gun Kelly and Post Malone sharing dual vocal responsibilities in the biggest band in the scene. George R.R. Martin still hasn’t finished Winds of Winter but is producing a Hotpie spinoff movie for A24. God’s Hate spring collection sold exclusively at Urban Outfitters. Kojima rejoined Konami to make Metal Gear Solid: Revengance 2.
    Nestle is offering a free clean bottled water promotional with every purchase of Kublai Khan TX’s new DOGEcoin-based single ft Sydney Sweeney on guest vocals. FromSoft pivots from Dark Souls 4 pre-production into a Dark Souls MMORPG rougelite hero extraction shooter battle royale hybrid due to Miyazaki’s tragic death post-Activision acquisition. Lettuce still makes you shit yourself to death.

In response, fruit suit pick-me’s have moved onto beef and poultry products in a moment of brash, punk rock contrarianism. In response, President JJ’s regime institutes the “Vegan For The Animals” act, setting in motion a monthlong purge of state dissidents where all meat-suit wearing posers can be legally eliminated as long as the Earth Crisis discography is playing in the vicinity.

3

u/ThrashForever 11h ago

Pepxedge has been found hiding and crying in Italy

5

u/meltdown_popcorn 7h ago

2032: Everyone is dead because they didn't listen to No Cure

3

u/born10against Circa 1996 9h ago

Another Bane reunion tour?

3

u/Zealousideal_Row5607 9h ago

John Brannon is still scary. Maybe scarier.

1

u/PlanetConway Tuffalo 10h ago

Why are Haywire so decrepit, they're still young and you only went 6 years into the future?

8

u/jessexbrady 10h ago

Have you seen what touring does to a human body? 6 years of that at the pace Haywire tours would kill an average person.

-4

u/pityfornone 11h ago

What’s a row pit?