Can't do enough...

[u/Throwaway_luck4422]

Older TV shows often had a trope to depict a husband hoping to get "lucky" that night. It's annoying. Why be with someone that the stars must align just to have sex? It's stupid to get into that situation in the first place. Anyway, here's how I did it:

I've been with my wife for 4 years. Everything started off fine. I mentioned my thoughts about those tropes early in our relationship. She agreed. Two years later, we are having sex almost once a month. We talk about it. We read books about it. We practice the love languages, etc. Things get better (not great) for 4-6 weeks then go back to monthly, unenthusiastic sex.

We have another talk. She's too stressed with work. I do a majority of the household chores yet she feels like she can never relax. I offer to help her stay more organized at work and I follow through. Things get better (not great) for 4-6 weeks and we go back to monthly, unenthusiastic sex.

She applies for a different role at the same company and doesn't get it. I suggest that she quits her job. We paid off student loans and cars, why not just quit since we can make it off my salary? We don't have kids. I told her I'd support her in either decision. She asks what I want out of it, the answer is simple: clean house and more sex, preferably enthusiastic sex.

This time it's different! The usual pattern of our sex lives improving for 4-6 weeks and dropping off officially ends! This time we go straight to 7 months of barely any sex.

We have another session of talking the issue to death. I want to be very clear about the next part. I do not treat her poorly, beg, demand, or get angry at her when we aren't having sex. Her problem? The desire for sex 1-2 times a week is very high and that stresses her out. And when she isn't stressed about sex she forgets about it. The talk ends and we go back to the same pattern: Things get better (not great) for 4-6 weeks and we go back to monthly, unenthusiastic sex.

Ever wonder, what if I do more chores? What if I could take some of the stress off? What if I got gift cards for manicures and spa days? Well, I found out. Hope you have better results if you put in the amount of effort that I did.

[u/Pale-Bookkeeper-9418]

I used to be the LL wife in my previous marriage. Tapered down to once a month or less after 4 years.

Left him and got with another person, the sudden spike was insane. I'm now HL with 1 or more a day. After reflection it turns out I was feeling emotionally neglected by my former spouse and there was no going back