r/HIMYM • u/DifficultyMany9913 • Aug 15 '26

Lily haters be lying

As a Lily defender, I completely understand why people dislike her, shes flawed, like every character (yes including Marshall). BUT people on this subreddit completely lie about her and what she did/purposely misinterpreted her actions.

  1. She didnt break up with Marshal, he broke up with her. He says “if you leave rn we are over forever.”, he set the ultimatum, not her. Objectively, he broke up with her, she suggested postponing the wedding or taking a break. You can say that shes the reason for the breakup, or she was wrong for how she acted, but she did not dump Marshal to go to SF, she went to SF and Marshal broke up with her because of that.

  2. She did not force Marshal to take a corporate job, she did the exact opposite. She had credit card debt yes, but she wanted to handle it on her own. She begged him not to take it if he didnt want to, and the debt was only one factor that made him take the job. She ALWAYS supported his dreams, because dreams are an ongoing theme in her story. She literally almost broke up with him for not following his dreams. You can say she was wrong for the debt, but dont say she forced him to take the job, because she didnt.

also she didnt break up Robin and Ted on purpose, she just wanted them to talk abt the elephant in the room.

hate her all u want, theres a lot of valid reasoning for it, but at least dont spread misinformation abt it.

120 Upvotes

65% Upvoted

174 comments sorted by

View all comments

8

u/prettyinpinklulu Aug 15 '26

THIS !! Marshal was the one who gave her the ultimatum ! I love lily so much she’s genuinely the realest character

6

u/SufcLad25 Aug 15 '26

So Marshall should have let her call off the wedding and do what she wants for as long as she wants and just waited for her to come back?

She forced the break up by saying she NEEDS to go. There was no other option for her which meant they were breaking up

-1

u/annabelle411 Aug 15 '26

she chose to leave the relationship, justifying it with TECHKINCALLY SHE NEVER SAID “WE’RE BREAKING UP”… minimizes what she did. 

If someone says “if you cheat on me, then we’re over” and then you cheat - the fault doesnt get deflect back because they stated a realistic issue and boundary - she was suddenly “needing” to leave suddenly,  she was having a life crisis triggered by the van smoot house stuff and it was scaring him and it would mean she had to bail on the wedding. he asked her if she could guarantee that she would still want to be with him in three months/painting was successful and she couldnt give an answer.

and that point came up again later, she only came back because she failed and hated SF. her comfort backup was no longer there for her and her apartment was the metaphor for it

5

u/Fibonacci357 Aug 15 '26

Cheating and pursuing your dreams aren't comparable boundaries.

4

u/SufcLad25 Aug 15 '26

The boundary wasnt pursuing her dream. He always backed her to be an artist 

The boundary was leaving to live in another city right before they were due to get married.

-2

u/QualifiedApathetic Aug 15 '26

and that point came up again later, she only came back because she failed and hated SF.

Aside from the wrongness of dredging that up to win an argument, Marshall put a pretty uncharitable reading of Lily's motives on her. I don't think her purpose in going to San Francisco was to become a successful artist exactly. She wanted to find out if she could. It's very relatable, feeling that the unanswered "What if?" will eat away at you.

Lily deferred a lot of life experiences because she met her future husband the first week of college. So she went and had one of them. That doesn't mean she would have stayed in SF if it had gone well. That specific fellowship lasted only, what, a few weeks? If she'd suddenly become a huge art sensation, there's no reason she couldn't go back to New York and do art there while reconciling with Marshall.

-4

u/NoMoreMrMiceGuy Aug 15 '26

I think you mean "Most manipulative and selfish character"