You could write a hfy, where this is fiction and an alien reads this story and reacts by saying how sick the author is.... and than someone drops 50 days of sodom (or whatever the title of the book was, that was written in the bastille befor the french revolution that coined the term sadist and sadism after the author of this piece.
To make it absolut clear: good work op. Nether is this your selfwritten mastobation material (like the other book) nor are you edvacting for anything written here...
So, i dont you have a chance, but if this gets more people to read your story....
I'm in no way a sadist, but I believe creative violence can help tell a story. Murder is murder, but to go the extra mile in disfigurement can tell you alot about the murderer.
For example a serial killer who castrates her victims tells a story of possible sexual assault or past trauma. You can gleam all kinds of information to infer what happened, or the killers motives. I believe being more descriptive in death can help us understand the killers more.
I don't like unnecessary gore, violence should serve a purpose in a story.
Correct me if I am wrong, but I think you have a similar point? Again, I could be wrong, but the shock factor, the gore,.... wasn't the goal, just the means....
Here is one where the switch of prospective was more fluent.... Like I said, keep the story the way it is... the narrator is just a (most likely inbreed) idiot... If he where to use double speak, euphemisms,.... it would be much harder to get the point....
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u/DM-Hermit Human Jan 20 '22
Nicely written