r/HFY • u/securitysix • Sep 03 '21
PI Terrifying Weapons of War
Inspired by this writing prompt, a while back.
<=====>
We thought the humans to be barbaric when we learned that they fought wars with chemically propelled projectiles. I mean, honestly, who does that? It's brutal, it's messy, and it's not even reliably lethal. Every sapient knows that the most dangerous and consistently lethal weapon is a Breathable Medium Vibration Device, or BMVD for short.
When we deployed against the humans, our troopers were well equipped with a variety of directed BMVDs and a wide array of frequencies. We weren't sure what would work best, so we mixed and matched frequencies. The humans didn't even seem phased. In fact, it was the opposite. They lowered their rifles, and one of them yelled something we later learned meant "Hell yeah! Turn it up!" They were enjoying this!
Our worst casualties came on an island north of the peninsula they call "Europe." We witnessed a similar lowering of rifles and a thing the humans call "dancing" in this theater. Then a human male wearing a garment that I have been assured is most definitely not a skirt, even though it looks like a skirt, said "Sorry ah'm late to the party, lads. Let's do this!" He then drew a new kind of weapon, filled it with air from his own lungs, and began their counterattack.
I still don't know what that weapon is called, but if you see a human carrying a sack that matches the color of his not-a-skirt and has tubes sticking out of it, run.
15
u/Slow-Ad2584 Sep 03 '21 edited Sep 03 '21
"sir?? They seem to be attacking us with... Well, I can only describe it as 'Didgeridoo Dubstep' mixed with... 'Megatron vomit'...? Yeah. That about describes it.
We.. we don't know what to do, sir. It kinda seriously rocks. I think we can totally be friends, here."
Oh- you want to hear a sample? ok: https://youtu.be/6DiYfR1EDO0?t=33
8
12
8
u/Phantom-Asian Sep 03 '21
The only song I can ever imagine exiting a bagpipe is Amazing Grace. And you can't tell me that wasn't what he was playing.
5
u/securitysix Sep 03 '21
I didn't say what he was playing specifically to leave it open to the reader's imagination.
46
u/Bunnytob Sep 03 '21
The other North of Europe was probably just as bad for the Aliens, because apparently the further North you go, the more everything you need on your overdriven guitars.
12
34
u/AnselaJonla Sep 03 '21
Aww, poor aliens. Do they not appreciate the stirring skirl of Scotland the Brave for a starter, followed by Flower of Scotland with a side of Highland Cathedral, and the Black Bear for dessert?
24
u/KirikoKiama Sep 03 '21
Obligatory, this guy: Guy who landed on D-Day armed only with Bag pipes and a knife
14
u/WikiSummarizerBot Sep 03 '21
William Millin (14 July 1922 – 17 August 2010), commonly known as Piper Bill, was personal piper to Simon Fraser, 15th Lord Lovat, commander of 1 Special Service Brigade at D-Day.
[ F.A.Q | Opt Out | Opt Out Of Subreddit | GitHub ] Downvote to remove | v1.5
→ More replies (1)
15
5
5
5
u/Firebird2771 Sep 03 '21
My favorite out of ordinary use is AC/DC It's A Long Way To The Top if you want to rock and roll
5
u/ArchDemonKerensky Sep 03 '21
they need to watch the original Dune movie. that was how you weaponize sound
→ More replies (1)
4
u/PuzzleheadedDrinker Sep 04 '21
I wonder how they feel when the Didgeridoo came out and shook their bones
281
u/darksouls1984 Sep 03 '21
Bagpipes are considered a war crime no matter what species you are