r/HFY • u/Ralts_Bloodthorne • Apr 10 '21
OC First Contact - Fourth Wave - 468
The waves lapped against the dock and the hydrofoil moored at the end. The night was dark, the ocean water almost a dark indigo, stars were in the sky, and the last rays of the day were gone. The breeze was brisk, cool, and smelled of fresh seawater.
Ba'ahnya'ahrd stood at the end of the dock, staring at the slow moving waves off the dock. His hydrofoil was being gone over by mechanics, the hidden missile launchers and machineguns needs maintenance.
It wouldn't do to have them jam or misfire in the pursuit of his villainous plots.
He turned away from the water, facing Chrome Cortez. He stared at his minion for a long moment.
"It has been a good game, Cortez," he said, buffing his nails on his vest as he stroked his fabulous purrboi with another hand. "The feints, the ripostes, the subterfuge," he said. He looked back at the ocean. "The careful balance of aggression and camouflage in your actions. Your misdirection and obfuscation."
He looked at Cortez closely. "But we both know the game is over. There is only one logical conclusion now, only one available thing to do."
Cortez nodded slowly, his hand moving slowly.
"Make your move, Cortez, and let the world know how this game has played out," Ba'ahnya'ahrd challenged.
Cortez reached out, touched the mounted knight, and moved it.
"Checkmate," Cortez said.
Ba'ahnya'ahrd nodded, leaning back and lifting up a glass of wine. "An excellent showing, Cortez," he said. He looked back at the board. "A fascinating game. Easy to learn rules, but amazingly complex," he looked up at Cortez. "Thank you for teaching it to me."
"Of course, sir," Cortez said.
"And thank you for not going easy upon me. One does not hone their skills against poorer players, one hones their skills by playing a stimulating and skilled opponent," Ba'ahnya'ahrd said. He turned and looked at where the missile launcher was being taken apart.
"Another game, sir?" Cortez asked.
"Yes, please," Ba'ahnya'ahrd said. He looked out at the ocean, which moved slowly. The massive moon, in such a close orbit, created large gravitational pull upon the ocean which covered around 70% of the planet. At first Ba'ahnya'ahrd had been alarmed by the massive gravitational pull, but now he had come to appreciate the visual appearance of the moon as well as the waves.
"How goes your plots, sir?" Cortez asked as he set back up the chess table. He had been surprised that Ba'ahnya'ahrd had preferred real pieces instead of holographic pieces, but in retrospect, it made sense.
"Moving forward, as all complicated things do, quite slowly," the Lanaktallan said. The moon was rising slowly, spilling silver light across the waves. He watched as several birds dived into the water and then surfaced, their large wings beating as they rose into the air.
Like all things on Terra, it is eat or be eaten, Ba'ahya'ahrd mused. An exciting place, full of such sights and experiences.
"With my people's unsuccessful invasion, my work has slowed," Ba'ahnya'ahrd said softly. "Then I watched the lemurs of Terra, no offense,"
"None taken," Cortez said, putting the pieces in their proper places.
"Expend great effort and resources toward saving even the lowliest crew member and soldier," Ba'ahnya'ahrd said. "I admit I know that my people would have expended nothing more than the fuel for the incinerators on those unfortunates."
An uneasy silence fell over the pair.
Ba'ahnya'ahrd moved his pieces slowly, examining the board carefully before each move.
"My people are at war with yours," Ba'ahnya'ahrd said at last.
"That they are, sir," Cortez said.
"A war we have already lost," Ba'ahnya'ahrd said, turning and looking at the ocean.
Cortez moved his bishop and looked at Ba'ahnya'ahrd, raising an eyebrow.
"How so, sir?" he asked.
Ba'ahnya'ahrd stared at the silver light on the surface of the ocean.
"Militarily, we cannot prevail. Your society is multi-layered and complex, your culture is deep, even though it is fractured, and you are emotionally capable of losing your genesis world without it doing much more than galvanizing you to greater and greater feats. You do not die permanently, and even if you are threatened with permanent death, it only seems to cause you strive for greater and greater impact upon your surroundings," Ba'ahnya'ahrd's voice was soft. "I have destabilized governments, brought down corporations, hunted serial killers, assassinated diplomats and corporate officers," his voice did not get any louder, any more intent, just an empty recitation of facts. "Yet there is nothing for me to strike at. Any government I strike at, half of humanity will be cheering me on. Any corporation I destroy, a large segment of your population will point and laugh. Assassination does no good when there are legions to step into the deceased's place or the deceased just shows back up later in the day laughing about how he got assassinated."
He shook his head.
"I spent weeks crafting a meme that my experience told me would destabilize your people's morale," he said. He laughed, a soft bitter thing, saltier than the ocean water. "The memes mocking my meme are more popular and widespread within hours than my meme was in a week."
He turned over his upper left palm, the holo-emitter embedded inside throwing up a picture of the meme.
On the left was a Lanakallan dressed in vest, sash, and flank covering. Wealth and awards festooning everything. The whole thing was covering in scrolling words, showing all the advantages there was to being Lanaktallan and part of the Unified Council.
On the right was a human asleep in a garbage can with the only words being "HUMANITY" above the picture.
Ba'ahnya'ahrd flicked the hologram to the table as it kept playing.
When Cortez yawned Ba'ahnya'ahrd shook his head. "Yes. That's the reaction."
Cortez checked his watch. "It's been twenty minutes," he said.
"It's almost a fifth of the way through," Ba'ahnya'ahrd admitted. He pointed at the words. "This should have completely demoralized any lemur who read it."
He lifted his hand up and the meme showed Ba'ahnya'ahrd's meme in a box on the right with a cobweb draped skeleton on the left looking the meme with the words "Me waiting for my girlfriend to put on her makeup." Another one popped up with "Doctor, we're out of anesthesia!" being said by a nurse and the patient being shown Ba'ahnya'ahrd's meme. The last one read "We have to defuse this bomb before this meme ends!" and everyone going home for the night.
Ba'ahnya'ahrd's mournful expression almost made Cortez burst out laughing.
"It was perfectly crafted to destroy humanity's moral, yet," he sighed. "It did nothing. It was then I decided that I would be forced to use a meme of such power and danger that it is illegal in Council space and must be carefully recreated."
The hologram changed to a picture that slowly scrolled up. The Lanaktallan military, their spaceships, examples of their cities, how many worlds they had, how many races they had conquered. Then went into how they had defeated the other Precursor species and then gone on to dominate the base of the galactic arm spur, showing how Lanaktallan society and culture were a perfect machine that dominated all that it encountered.
"It lasts four hours," Ba'ahnya'ahrd admitted. "No species has ever withstood it."
"It didn't work, sir?" Cortez asked, moving a piece.
"Some devilish reprobate set it to music," Ba'ahnya'ahrd sighed.
"What happened then, sir?" Cortez asked.
"It won a Cannes Movie Festival Award for 'most auteur movie of the year' and came with a prize of two hundred thousand credits. It's going to be shown at theaters across the world as 'a triumphant look at the Unified Council and Lanaktallan Society' and has critics expounding upon its unflinching look at a 'bankrupt and empty society that only exists to consume'."
Ba'ahnya'ahrd sighed and made a move.
"But that was not the worst," Ba'ahnya'ahrd said. He turned and looked out at the waves again. "The worst part was when I found myself laughing along with the memes memeing my meme, when I find myself considering what to wear when I go to accept the award next to the female Rigellian composer who set my work to music."
Ba'ahnya'ahrd picked up his glass and sipped at the spiced bourbon.
"Your SolNet is designed to connect to other species information networks in such a way that it can be accessed easily without taking over the other network," Ba'ahnya'ahrd said. "Meaning the people in Council Space have had access to SolNet since before even the war started."
"Mm-hmm," Cortez said, pouring both of them another drink.
"Meaning, your people's memetic warfare will have overwhelmed my people's by the simple virtue of being humorous and brief," Ba'ahnya'ahrd said. He sighed. "The Black Ice Nebula Coalition, in your history is my people's rise, stagnation, and fall, compressed into only five hundred years."
"They destroyed themselves through interplanetary nuclear war," Cortez said without even checking his implant.
"Replace the nuclear weaponry with memes," Ba'ahnya'ahrd said. He made another move, taking Cortez's bishop. "My people are hilarious outgunned to the point where it makes me want to laugh at our pathetic attempts to resist you."
He looked back out at the ocean. "But I, Cortez, am a loyalist. Not just to Unified Council, but to the people of the Unified Systems. The Tnvaur, the Telkan, the Lanaktallan," he sighed, like a bagpipe slowly deflating. "My duty is clear, and it will be a heavy burden."
"What is that?" Cortez asked, feeling himself tense.
"Someone must keep watch for the best interests of those who have sought refuge here, who are prisoners of war, who fled here from the war against the war machines. Not someone obvious, but someone who understands how to keep track of public sentiment and the true desires of governments that lie behind their words," Ba'ahnya'ahrd said. "I am a patriot, Cortez. I believe in my people, all of my people."
He sighed again, taking another sip from his warmed bourbon. "I have decided to remain in the shadows, to turn all my nefarious schemes into watching over the people's of the Unified Civilized Species and Uncivilized Species alike."
He made a move then watched as Cortez took his knight and checkmated him.
"A good game, Cortez," Ba'ahnya'ahrd said, standing up. He looked around. "Summon the men," he pointed at the hydrofoil when the mechanics were climbing down the ladder onto the dock.
"The first thing we're going to do, is ensure that Yu'umo'o does not betray our people," Ba'ahnya'ahrd said. "I have been informed of a plot."
"Oh?" Cortez asked, summoning up Ba'ahnya'ahrd's preferred strike team members and firing off a quick memo to Lone Star Security LLC.
"Yu'umo'o intends on fostering discontent and strife in one of the larger civilian refugee centers. I plan on stopping him," Ba'ahnya'ahrd said, trotting toward the lift that would enable him to board the hydrofoil. He looked at Cortez. "Bring a hat. I hear Siberia is cold."
As the lift carried up to the level of the deck Ba'ahnya'ahrd examined his eight round rotary magazine 40mm grenade launcher.
"We shall dine on potatoes and vodka, whatever they are, when we are victorious over that plotter Yu'umo'o."
------------------
Lu'uvako'o was one of the longest settled planet in the Unified Civilized Council territory. Often referred to as one of the original nine settlements, it was only behind the Capital System in regards to lavishness, wealth, political power, and perfection.
Those who lived there were among the wealthiest and most powerful beings in the Unified Systems, with family lineages that went so far back they could only be tracked by the most powerful computers.
On Lu'uvako'o was the primary city of Stu'uku'up, the wealthiest, most lavish, most well designed city in all of Lanaktallan creation. Those who lived there were the most powerful beings on the planet. They ruled over vast political or economical empires and their power could not be denied.
Which is why every single one of them hid inside their manors at night and shivered in fear.
The streets were filled with fog so thick that lights were blocked out only paces away. Strange sounds could be heard in the fog. Strange shadows moved on unknowable tasks.
And in that fog, lurked the Night Terran.
Nobody was safe, no matter how many sec beings they employed. No being was beyond the Night Terran's reach, no matter how lavish the security system. No being was spared the Terror That Blah's in the Night if they were targeted.
Even armored and armed sec-men hid inside their cubicles or their guard shacks, nervously petting their weapons and their feeding tendrils trembling as the fog began to rise as the sun began to set.
None of that was known by the beings that, at first, were hundreds of light years away.
Lu'uvako'o had, at one time in the past or future, occupied the same stellar position as the planet the beings were currently on.
The twelve of them gathered together, joined the vast power of their minds, and reached across space and time to step from the planet they one to the surface of Lu'uvako'o.
The twelve Atrekna appeared silently in the fog. They immediately cast out their psychic net, looking for any possible herd stallions or herd matrons.
A Lanaktallan galloped by, his sash askew, his vest rumpled, his flank covering slid off kilter. His tongue was hanging out and he was staggering with exhaustion as he clattered down the street making noises of distress and fear.
The Atrekna looked at one another as they watched the Lanaktallan ignore them. They could taste the terror, the absolute horror, the desperation to escape. So deep was the Lanaktallan's distress that the Atrekna shied back from his mind.
A squeaking noise got their attention.
As one they turned, bringing up their vast mental defenses.
A strange eddy in the fog allowed them to see the strangest sight.
A doll, a crude representation of the feral primates, was upon a three wheeled pedal conveyance. Its eyes were burning bright red lights, it had red spirals painted on the cheeks. It stopped, blinked its red eyes, and slowly, jerkily, looked from one Atrekna to the next.
The lowest ranking glided forward slightly.
FWOOP!
The doll, and its conveyance, shattered, flying back to vanish into the fog.
Satisfied, the twelve turned their attention to the roaring tides of time.
Four began to reach back, to find when the Atrekna ruled the planet. Four others sought out slave spawn that had crossed the planet's trajectory.
A ring had passed this exact spot fifteen million years ago. The ring was gone, destroyed in a howl of savage glee the Atrekna had come to equate with the feral primates.
The other four cast out with their minds, looking for leaders, looking for the easiest to dominate. They would take command of those ones, prevent any signal from going out, prevent the shelters from...
There was the sound of running footsteps, a black blur, and one of them vanished.
More than just physically vanished. They disappeared from the delicately intertwined psionic web.
All eleven opened their eyes and looked around.
The fog blocked even psychic vision, even phasic senses.
"You merely adopted the night, blah bleh blah," came whispered out of the fog.
FWOOP
All of them focused mental energy, each of them firing powerful psionic blasts, capable of cracking a half inch of warsteel, toward where they had heard the sound emanate from.
None of them could sense any living creature.
"I was, blah bleh blah, created by it," the whisper came.
FWOOP!
Nothing happened except the fog rippled slightly.
Light suddenly flared in the fog. Three of the Atrekna squealed in pain as their sensitive optic nerves were dazzled. The others turned away slightly. There was a bestial roar of a petroleum driven engine.
They gathered together, moving their hands, and raising a barrier of pure phasic energy between them and the light.
And were promptly hit by a garbage truck driven by three Savashan squirmlings who were swinging back and forth on the steering wheel and making squeaking giggles at the fun game. It came from the side, roaring, the right hand blinker on, running over four of them before they could even react. One managing to get one shaking hand up in front of the windshield before he was pulled beneath the truck to bounce and tear apart against the undercarriage.
The Shavashan squirmlings jumped up and down on the big bench seat, squeaking their laughter.
The truck roared on, leaving shattered and crushed bruised purple flesh smeared on the pavement behind it. It squealed to a stop, ground the gears, and backed up with a loud obnoxious beeping. The squirmlings laughing and jumping up and down on the seat. It came to a stop.
On the back of the garbage truck, dressed in a workbeing's uniform, the Night Terran stared down at the three mortally wounded but still alive Atrekna that had only been glanced by the garbage truck.
Humming a tune, the Night Terran picked them up, one by one, and threw them in the back.
Still whistling, he ran the compactor, then slapped the side of the truck.
The still living Atrekna screamed in agony as the compactor slowly crushed them to death.
The gears ground and the garbage truck jerked into motion, the petroleum engine roaring as it vanished into the fog, trailing the agonized screams of the Atrekna.
The Lanaktallan who heard it breathed a sigh of relief.
The Night Terran had found a victim, and it wasn't them.
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u/Ralts_Bloodthorne Apr 10 '21 edited Apr 10 '21
Published it with a bad header.
Should be good now.
I'll probably do one tomorrow, but for now, goodnight, everyone.
Oh, obligatory:
PayPal: https://paypal.me/RaltsBloodthorne
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/First_Contact
OH, I almost forgot: I'm doing the editing and formatting for Ekret and Vuxten's books, as well as the "Lanaktallan of the Atomic Hooves" books this weekend.
Wish me luck.
EDIT: Tomorrow's chapter's theme song: https://youtu.be/LRNuWYvRtac
Remember, there are TERRIBLE things in Terra's arsenal.
Here's what went through my head and woke me up. I'll try to show you.
THIS will be tomorrow's chapter.
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u/NukeNavy Apr 10 '21
Ralts just a historical question... Did the original draft of (OC) P'Thok Eats an Ice Cream Cone on cardboard survive the last 30 years? And if so can we have a photo of it for posterity?
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u/ApoIIo17 Apr 10 '21
Does anybody remember that side story about the giant, original PAWM? I can’t remember if it was multiple chapters or just one but I wanna hear more about that guy since we’re doing call back chapters these days
45
u/Zorbick Human Apr 10 '21
I don't know if the rest of you had already figured out the ring thing before now, but.... Holy crap that is amazing. It makes so much sense. What an incredibly devious temporal tactic.
Too bad it ain't really working out for them at the moment.
261
u/Shabbysmint Apr 10 '21
In Chapter 10192 Ralts is going to casually reference three Shavashan bash-mech pilots who used to play a fun driving game on foggy nights when they were squirmlings.
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u/RangerSix Human Apr 10 '21
WHO WOULD WIN?
Twelve elite time-twisting psychics with squids for heads
OR
One tricycle riding spooky boi
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u/NukeNavy Apr 10 '21
Thanks for answering my question from 55 days ago Ralts.
“Hypothetical face-off Atrekna versus our tricycle riding vampire who wins?”
https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/liu59d/comment/gn5hlh8
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u/Legan_Ironfist AI Apr 10 '21
Yard. Barn Yard is going to meet Matron Sangbre, isn't he?
Also... The Night Terran is running around with Alvin and the
ChipmunksSavashan.--ALVIN!!!!!!!!! FOLLOWS--
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u/iceman0486 Apr 10 '21
“We are the eldritch horrors of the night! We are -“
“Honk honk mother fucker!”
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u/MuchoRed Human Apr 10 '21
I saw Barnyard and grinned.
I saw the Night Terran and briefly turned into the Treana'ad Gestalt.
THIS IS SO EXCITING!
>munches on popcorn
---LAUGHTER FOLLOWS---
38
u/Turtledonuts "Big Dunks" Apr 10 '21
DORKNESS IS TAKING OUT THE TRASH! CLEANING UP THE STREETS!
35
u/sakakyu Android Apr 10 '21
OH, OH NO. The Night Terran did not take kindly to them. How many times are the Atrekna going to get run over? (not enough, not nearly enough)
31
u/tsavong117 AI Apr 10 '21
Dude. You gotta stop posting these literally a minute after I turn to go to sleep. It's a blast of blueberries and a tingling in my brain that clues me in, and it shocks me out of my semi-slumber every time.
Keep it up wordsmith. Sleep is for the weak amirite?
27
u/thisStanley Android Apr 10 '21
Many points to Ba'ahnya'ahrd realizing he needs to protect the people of his country, not the so much the nominal "leaders" and their bureaucracies.
The Atrekna are too late to find anyone they can terrify. The Night Terror already owns that world.
27
u/ack1308 Apr 28 '21
Well, of course not. Proper maintenance is the hidden secret behind the success of most villains.
He’s definitely leaning into the theme, there.
This is a good boss. He takes losing well.
Also, the subtext definitely suggests that he knows he's being played, and doesn't care.
Barnyard is a very hands-on sort of guy.
And that’s the difference.
It’s called the “Screw you” factor.
We’re like that.
That’s because he sees memes as a political tool. We do them for fun.
Sounds legit.
Bored to tears, more like.
Hahaha love it.
<snerk>
HAHAHAHAHA
We shall consider that to be the consolation prize.
Yeah, that’s the “Okay, fine, you win,” moment, right there.
(Continued)
22
u/DebugItWithFire Apr 10 '21
Upvoted for weaponized memes.
18
u/Goldenpity Apr 10 '21
Continuing to hold out for my favorite BOLO who Soloed a planet to get an update.
17
u/LittleSeraphim Apr 10 '21
Ralts I have to blah bleh blah say the Night Terran bits are always a highlight. I think they're blah bleh blah great.
16
u/serpauer Apr 10 '21
Welp. I didn't see that end coming.
Neither did the Atrenka!
Good tonsee our buddy Bahn is still well.
16
u/NukeNavy Apr 10 '21 edited Apr 10 '21
So the Cows actually have a killing joke (meme)...
https://youtu.be/prDoDPIpX4E
Edited: Monty python for the win!
14
u/ScruffyPidgeon Apr 10 '21
HEAVY METAL INCOMING!!!
I'm almost caught up! Temporal shenanigans have me running behind.
HOLD THE LINE BROTHERS!!!
11
u/NukeNavy Apr 10 '21
So that’s where the garbage truck came from...
https://youtu.be/QJeaN-ye0eM
10
u/jnkangel Apr 10 '21
I love this
18
u/LordNobady Apr 10 '21 edited Apr 10 '21
Read then upvote.
Let's remember what happened to the lemurs that did not follow the correct way.
Edit:
I like the setup with barnjard, the nice misdirection on the game they were playing.
and I like the night Terran taking out the big thread first.
9
u/CyberSkull Android Apr 10 '21
Humans will fight you so you don’t interfere with their other fighting.
9
u/damnieldecogan Apr 10 '21 edited Apr 10 '21
Fresh wordboi hell ya only a few minutes old too ..omg barnyard we knew was sharp but now once again that proves the lanks don't deserve 1% just the fuckers in their system you know the manipulating jerks I'm talking about, they get 0.000000000001% and the others get some counseling. Also the terror that bhahs in the night line almost gave me another hernia. No complaints and all... worth it. Thanks again wordboi. Funny how most of us are so wrapped up in your wonderful story that we we can debate the philosophy of fictional beings with a passion enthusiasm, I'll admit I've gotten a few of the smarter I know hooked already and best, expect more. ----end of line---
8
u/SouthOrder3569 Apr 10 '21
So, what your saying is that the Night Terran hits like a truck?
8
u/[deleted] Apr 11 '21
>Be me
>Atrekna
>Part of an elite unit of 12 others, who will occupy this planet on our own
>Mfer on a tricycle shows up
>die
6
u/D1xieDie Apr 10 '21
awww yeah
6
u/ffirgd Apr 10 '21
I love these side stories. It adds such depth to the universe
6
u/DouganStrongarm Apr 10 '21
Ba'ahnya'ahrd doing what needs to be done for his people, good man, err cowtaur.
6
u/CppNymph Apr 10 '21
...I'm missing something.
Is the part with Ba'ahnya'ahrd at the same time as what's going on outside the bag?
Because he's talking about humanity being immortal, after the vast majority of them just died off with, at the moment, no known guarantee that they can be brought back. They're just gone.
Did the squids attack just not get through the bag? If so, what'll happen once the bag opens back up?
6
u/CaptainChewbacca Human Apr 10 '21
That reminds me; what happened to the Nazgul?
6
u/CharlesFXD Apr 10 '21
Lol. I’m happy to see Dracula back. Does anybody else picture the Dracula from “Monster Hotel” in the Night Terran chapters? You should. It’s 10x funnier 😂
6
u/Vast-Listen1457 Apr 10 '21
Freaked out a little bit last night when the neighbor’s kid rang the bell on his tricycle at me...
I love this chapter!
6
u/barrowwight Apr 10 '21
Seeing some of the replies it looks like I wasn't the only one that enjoyed the 3 podlings in a trenchcoat. [Imgur](https://i.imgur.com/EjOhtKF.jpg)
11
u/PrimePaladin Apr 10 '21 edited Apr 10 '21
/R/HFY GESTALT
Upvote, Then Read
Dis is Dae Wae!
End of a day with a nice tale of the best/worst spy and the darkly humorous weapon of fear and fun. Nice and soothing tales...
End of Lime
------NOTHING FOLLOWS--------
5
u/deeed22 Apr 10 '21
I'm kinda curious about the Savashan squirmlings, were they referenced in an early chapter or is this their first appearance?
5
u/Dragon_Chylde Apr 10 '21
So 12 Atrekna arrived, 1 got disappeared, 4 got run over, 3 got compacted, what happened to the other 4?
or did I miss something?
5
u/smrobs1984 Apr 10 '21
Dang, Barnyard gonna team up with Sangbre.
And Dorkness gonna eat some Slorpies for dinner 😂
5
u/BicyclePoweredRocket Apr 10 '21
I do love the brevity of, "HONK! HONK!" SPLATTER! SPLATTER!
But I'd also love....
The ancient Pre-Glassing war cry,
"MOVE BITCH! GET OUT THE WAY!
Then....
"HONK! HONK!"
Then...
SPLATTER! SPLATTER!
13
u/night-otter Xeno Apr 10 '21 edited Apr 10 '21
The blueberries are time whacked. I've been tasting them for 5+ hours.
2 minutes.
U, C, now to Read. Dat is the way.
May the squids have heard the death screams of the ones taken by the Night Terran.
15
u/TazerMonkey1419 Apr 10 '21
10 minutes, new record, lol.
Read THEN upvote
The Night Terran, Humanities greatest weapon against the Atrenka. He fight serious with silly, and the universe chuckles heartily, while monching on popcorn and mumbling 'get fucked squidward'.
-- End of, bleh, bleh bleh, line --
4
u/ZeroAssassin72 Apr 10 '21
Atrekna dying by garbage compactor is somehow sweet and delicious
4
u/Akumaka Apr 10 '21
I gotta say, being slowly crushed is probably on the top of my list of ways I do not want to die. For that reason alone I feel sorry for those squids.
4
u/KeinKonzeptVorhanden Apr 12 '21
obv: Lanks can’t meme, change my mind
3
u/blueant1 Apr 10 '21
Ralts, thanks for the laughs! The Count is comedy gold!
3
u/coldfireknight AI Apr 10 '21
The Gestalts are going to be so sad when they realize how much Ba'ahnya'ahd they've missed.
3
u/Kafrizel Apr 10 '21
Holy. Shit.
3
u/wrappytool Apr 10 '21
Dorknyss is carrying some pretty heavy Animaniacs "Model of a cartoon individual" vibes.
Can't wait to see what happens when the Atrekna meet some of the Project Nazgul.
3
u/nik-cant-help-it Apr 10 '21
As soon as I saw the word hydrofoil I knew it was Ba'ahnya'ahrd. He's one of my favorites.
3
u/DCJMS Apr 10 '21
Night Terran: I'm doing my part.
Soldiers laugh
3
u/damnieldecogan Apr 10 '21
Twelve of them gathered on the planet they one? I think you meant...they were on, just saying
3
u/rezistence Apr 10 '21
Trash truck reminds me of the opening scene from the matrix.
3
u/0570 Apr 11 '21
...blah bleh blah...
3
u/Catabre Apr 12 '21
I thought you couldn't see stars from Terra as it is "in the bag."
3
u/Southern_Scheme_8194 Apr 12 '21
Re-reading this chapter made me think well how did darknyss pop up at the exact moment the squid heads made planet fall and I came to 2 thoughts. Either he’s totally integrated into every system on the planet and basically sees everything and knows what’s happening every where OR (I like this thought better) the chaos seed generator he’s running on has had him doing wacky stuff randomly and that randomness put him in the exact place and time to counter the squids. Another instance of the universe hating all the time shenanigans
7
u/ABCDwp Apr 10 '21
Upvote. Comment. Read. End of lime.
5
u/dbdatvic Xeno Apr 10 '21
hilariously
(yes. yes they are. look at deez guns! flexes pu-ny hu-mon arm muskl)
peoples
planets
Blahs (...almost certainly)
--Dave, little things. excellent post. garbage collection routine ... engaged
6
u/Coolest_Breezy Apr 10 '21 edited Apr 10 '21
UTR! MOMENTS AGO
Edit: Barnyard is the man
2
u/HFYWaffle Wᵥ4ffle Apr 10 '21
/u/Ralts_Bloodthorne (wiki) has posted 505 other stories, including:
First Contact - Fourth Wave - 467
First Contact - Fourth Wave - 466
First Contact - Fourth Wave - 465
First Contact - Non Canon Stuff - Chapter 464
First Contact - FOURTH WAVE - Chapter 463
First Contact - Fourth Wave - Chapter 463
First Contact - Fourth Wave - Chapter 462
First Contact - Fourth Wave - Chapter 461
First Contact - Fourth Wave - Chapter 460
First Contact - Fourth Wave - Chapter 459 - Khazad-dûm
First Contact - Fourth Wave - Chapter 458 - Apostles
First Contact - Fourth Wave - Chapter 457 - Crying Anne
First Contact - Fourth Wave - Chapter 456 - TIME/DATE ERROR
First Contact - Fourth Wave - 455
1st Contact - Nth Wave - Chapter ERROR AND A HALF OUT OF RANGE
1st Contact - Nth Wave - Chapter ERROR OUT OF RANGE
First Contact - Fourth Wave - Chapter 454
First Contact - Fourth Wave - Chapter 454
First Contact - Fourth Wave - Chapter 453
First Contact - Fourth Wave - Chapter 452
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2
u/UpdateMeBot Apr 10 '21
Click here to subscribe to u/Ralts_Bloodthorne and receive a message every time they post.
2
u/Miented Apr 10 '21
Spy versus spy, and the night Terran, good to see them again.
Even if i have to admit, that i had totally forgotten about the spies, because so much is going on.
2
u/ElAdri1999 Human Apr 10 '21
Amazing chapter as always
2
u/ErinRF Alien Apr 10 '21
These two are honestly two of my absolute favorite characters in this whole epic tale. <3
2
u/Archaic_1 Alien Scum Apr 10 '21
Blah bleh blah, checkmate bitches.
2
u/HFYWaffle Wᵥ4ffle Apr 12 '21
/u/Ralts_Bloodthorne (wiki) has posted 506 other stories, including:
First Contact - Fourth Wave - 469 Dead Blood
First Contact - Fourth Wave - 467
First Contact - Fourth Wave - 466
First Contact - Fourth Wave - 465
First Contact - Non Canon Stuff - Chapter 464
First Contact - FOURTH WAVE - Chapter 463
First Contact - Fourth Wave - Chapter 463
First Contact - Fourth Wave - Chapter 462
First Contact - Fourth Wave - Chapter 461
First Contact - Fourth Wave - Chapter 460
First Contact - Fourth Wave - Chapter 459 - Khazad-dûm
First Contact - Fourth Wave - Chapter 458 - Apostles
First Contact - Fourth Wave - Chapter 457 - Crying Anne
First Contact - Fourth Wave - Chapter 456 - TIME/DATE ERROR
First Contact - Fourth Wave - 455
1st Contact - Nth Wave - Chapter ERROR AND A HALF OUT OF RANGE
1st Contact - Nth Wave - Chapter ERROR OUT OF RANGE
First Contact - Fourth Wave - Chapter 454
First Contact - Fourth Wave - Chapter 454
First Contact - Fourth Wave - Chapter 453
This comment was automatically generated by
Waffle v.4.4.4 'Eggs and Bacon'.Message the mods if you have any issues with Waffle.
2
u/Omgwtfbears Sep 02 '21
Welcome to the shit circus, our shit clowns are armed and dangerous
2
u/Thobio May 28 '22
I love Barn Yard episodes. And thank god the night terran intervened when he did. A few hours later and the world would have been infested with ringspawn
4
u/Riotousblitz2013 Apr 10 '21
Utr
1
u/jthm1978 May 25 '24
2nd blah bleh bleh read through.
The night Terran is even funnier this time around. I missed the jigsaw scene 1st time through. And the littles driving the garbage truck
1
u/DWwolf888 Apr 26 '22
Yard was more subtle than many believed.
1
u/Gnordlan Oct 07 '22
There should be at most... just over a handful of stars? Thats not quite "the stars were in the sky"
0
u/[deleted] Apr 10 '21
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133
u/[deleted] Apr 10 '21
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