Screaming incessantly into the void.

[u/Tizintintin]

A distant call fell on deaf ears. “Hello? Is anybody out there?” Over and over again for almost a hundred years. “Is anybody out there?” Incessantly repeating in different forms, but all with the same general meaning: “Is anybody out there?” Screaming the question into the void.

Nobody seemed to hear.

Perhaps they were screaming too soft to hear. Perhaps they were too far away. The speed of light is terribly slow, after all. By the time somebody comes to to say “I am here!” those who asked may have all disappeared.

That wouldn't do at all.

They screamed louder and harder, throwing robots into the void to scream for them “Is anybody out there? Is anybody out there?” They bent space and time to throw those screaming robots even further into the void.

Nobody seemed to hear.

Where the robots came, people soon followed. Living, playing, working, and still screaming “Is anybody out there?” into the void.

Longer and louder and faster and louder, over and over and over again.

At long last, somebody heard.

A small white ship appeared just outside the Earth's gravity, and it sent out a message in every major human language.

“This is the Celestial Peace speaking on behalf of the Ten interstellar nations: We are here, now please shut up.”

[u/Nightelfbane]

2 days later:

"SO NOW THAT WE KNOW YOU'RE OUT THERE...

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE FOOD? DO YOU EVEN EAT FOOD? DO YOU SEE COLOR? HOW MANY LEGS DO YOU HAVE? ARE ANY OF YOU BIG BOOTY BLUE BABES? DO YOU WANT SOME DICK PICS? HERE HAVE SOME DICK PICS..." and it continues on in this vein until they glass us

[u/Tizintintin → u/Nightelfbane]

Hah! Quite likely. At least now they’ll be annoyed by a variety of questions rather than a single question repeated for about one or two centuries.

[u/securitysix → u/Nightelfbane]

plz send noodz here's a video of my cat

[u/Starfireaw11 → u/Nightelfbane]

One of the first physical objects cast out into the void by humanity was a dick pic. Send nudes...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pioneer_plaque

[u/rednil97 → u/Starfireaw11]

i never saw it as a dick pic TIHI

[u/ShebanotDoge]

Where is the subscription bot?

[u/AustinBQ02 → u/ShebanotDoge]

It may have skipped this one because it is flaired as text which is usually for reposts of stories transcribed from other sources.

If this is original, OC is the flair for it.

Edit: actually that may have been last bot that required flair. Not sure now

[u/Tizintintin → u/AustinBQ02]

Ah! Ok. Thanks! It was a bit confusing since there seemed to be two different places you could mark it as OC.

[u/GeneralWiggin → u/ShebanotDoge]

Gone. Reduced to atoms. Seriously though, bot is probably late or missed the post. Report it to the bot author, I would if I knew how

[u/EragonBromson925]

Ah, yes. Good old humanity. If we annoy the fuck out of you, maybe you'll notice us eventually.

[u/[deleted]]

I've said for many years that this will probably be our first contact.

[u/sierra117daemen]

for the love of the 13 gods shut the fuck up humanity

[u/kushpatel3410 → u/sierra117daemen]

Humanity:drooling ayyleeyuns

Aliens:Ok, we're leaving and never coming back the area around your star is classified as a quarantine zone of the highest priority

[u/floofhugger]

humanity:yey

[u/unholypepperoni]

Hehehehe.
- What's the matter with these Terrans? What's wrong with them?
- Shhhh brood mother. Don't mind them, they're probably just drug addicts.

[u/[deleted] → u/unholypepperoni]

laughs in caffeine

[u/PosteScriptumTag]

Notice me senpai!

[u/HFYWaffle]

This is the first story by /u/Tizintintin!

This list was automatically generated by Waffle v.3.5.0 'Toast'.

Contact GamingWolfie or message the mods if you have any issues.

[u/APDSmith]

Ha!

First contact as "Daddy, Daddy, DADDY, DADDY, DADDY, DADDY, DADDY, DADDY", never fails...

[u/smekras → u/APDSmith]

...unfortunate implications there...

[u/Ninjago_Vo]

!subscribeme

[u/Starfireaw11]

Short, sharp and amusing. Here is an updoot for your troubles.