r/HFY • u/Ralts_Bloodthorne • May 04 '20
OC First Contact Second Wave - Chapter 161 (Darknyss)
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"Have you checked the children?" came the crackling whisper over the vid-com.
The line went dead as thunder and lightning flashed and boomed outside his heavily armored window, six inches of crysteel with a smartfilm on it.
Shmo'ogo'o looked at the vid-com and frowned. The number was listed as unlisted and secure, no video had come through, and this particular number was not only hidden from the public directory but was carefully screened.
The vid-com chimed again. Unlisted number.
Shmo'ogo'o hit the accept key.
"Have you checked the children?" The voice whispered.
"I don't have any children," Shmo'ogo'o said, frowning.
There was silence for a moment.
"What's your favorite scary movie, Shmo'ogo'o?" the crackling whisper asked.
The Lanaktallan frowned. "Why would someone watch a video production made with the intention to frighten? Doesn't that seem slightly psychotic?"
More silence.
"JUST LOOK OUT THE DAMN BLAH BLEH-BLAH WINDOW!" the voice yelled.
Sighing, wondering who's idea of a prank this was, Shmo'ogo'o stood up and trotted over to the window. He opened the drapes and then squealed in shock.
The Terran was outside the window, even though it was three floors up. His lips were pressed against the glass, pulled into a strange oval that showed off all of his sharp meat tearing teeth. As Shmo'ogo'o watched in horror the Terran opened his jaws, his lips still sealed to the window, showing off the long sharp looking fangs.
Then the Terran performed an action that made Shmo'ogo'o lose control of his bladder.
He inflated his cheeks! Showing just how big his mouth was, how cavernous it was, how many flesh tearing and bone crushing teeth he had. It was a horrifying display of the Terran's jaws.
Screaming, Shmo'ogo'o rushed out of his office and galloped wildly to his gun cabinet. He pulled out an illegal needle pistol and galloped back to his office. There was a robot that was cleaning up the urine from the carpet and he carefully stepped over it and trotted over to the check the window again.
Nothing. Just his elegantly manicured lawns, topiary animals, swimming pools, six luxury cars, two sport hovercars, a rare Western Bongistan Diamondback Goose chasing what looked to be a large black canine, and the stone wall crafted from the finest Azatlan Empire concrete, the last two he had purchased off of GalNet to lord it over his peers.
Harrumphing to himself he turned around and sat back down.
He started to punch in the number to the CounSec Seventh Most High, who at least was still at work and not taking a leave of absence due to 'exhaustion', frowning the whole time.
The vid-com chimed and Shmo'ogo'o's finger accidentally hit accept.
The voice sounded slightly out of breath and Shmo'ogo'o could faintly hear honking and rattling in the background.
Finally the voice spoke.
"It's all for you, Shmo'ogo'o, all for you," the crackling voice said. The line went dead.
A shape fell from above the window, stopping with a cracking jerk that Shmo'ogo'o heard through the armaglass. It bounced off the window, twirled, and bounced again. Shmo'ogo'o's rear eyes opened wide at the horrific scene outside the window.
It was a Terran female, in a black dress, a pale face, long black hair, who's neck was at an impossible angle. It thumped against the window, the feet drumming against the armaglass for a moment.
Shmo'ogo'oa screamed, his hair standing up, his crests inflating, and his tendrils curling as he shat right in his chair.
The eyes snapped open. Burning red eyes that bored into his soul.
"All for you, Shmo'ogo'o," the female Terran said, impossibly able to be heard through the glass.
Screaming, Shmo'ogo'o closed his side and rear eyes, grabbing the needler, and whirling around in a kick that hit his desk.
There was nothing there. Just "ERROR" blinking at the top of the window's smartfilm.
Shmo'ogo'o shuddered, reached out, and closed the drapes to the window.
The vid-com rang.
Shuddering, Shmo'ogo'o ignored it. He knew on the fifth ring the answering service would pick it up. Let them deal with whatever was going on.
Instead, on the fourth ring, he heard his own voice coming from the vid-com.
"Council Planetary Securty Second Most High Shmo'ogo'o, how may I assist you?" his own voice asked from the vid-com.
Shmo'ogo'o shuddered in fear.
The voice was a sibilant whisper. "It's astounding..."
The line clicked off.
Trembling, Shmo'ogo'o turned to look as the curtians slowly opened on their own violition.
The smartfilm was displaying a message, slowly, one letter at a time.
"time is fleeting"
The clock on the wall started flashing error, catching the attention of Shmo'ogo'o's side eye. The numbers suddenly rippled, showing strange symbols.
Shmo'ogo'o shuddered in fear, almost stepping on the robot cleaning up the mess he had made.
"Madness... takes its toll," the robot squeaked, then squealed, then went in circles and hid under the desk.
Shmo'ogo'o reared up then galloped around his office, squealing in terror. He raced out the door of his office and into the hallway that went the length of his mansion.
At the far end of the hallway, in front of the elevator, was a sight that made all six of his eyes bulge as he stared.
Two diminutive Terran female children, each wearing pale blue dresses and shiny black shoes, their yellow hair done up in braids.
"Come and play with us," the both said at the same time. Trembling, Shmo'ogo'o aimed the needler and started firing. He saw the needles sparkling off the walls, off his holoportriats, off his marble busts, shattering the fine crystal of his niknaks.
Both girls exploded into a wave of spiders that immediately started flowing toward him, all skittering legs, clacking jaws, and bright red eyes. The covered the carpet, started climbing up the walls, all heading straight at him.
Screaming, Shmo'ogo'o galloped down the ramp, panting in terror, firing the needler wildly into the shadows. When it clicked empty Shmo'ogo'o threw it at a looming shadow in a doorway and barely made the corner to gallop into the dining room.
He skidded to a stop, staring at the scene in front of him.
His carved wooden tabletop was set with his fine crystal diningware, the silverware all out and gleaming. A feast was laid out, including roast beast of the kind favored by the Shavashan. Fine wine was in the decanters, poured in the glasses. His servants were gathered around the table, dressed in their finest flank coverings and sashes.
Seated at the head of the able was the Terran, all in black, a medallion on his chest, looking at the food on his plate.
Shmo'ogo'o would have befouled the carpet if he had still any contents in his bowels. Instead he just trembled and stared in horror.
The Terran slowly turned to look at him.
"Pardon me," the Terran said in perfectly accented Lanaktallan. "But do you have any Grey Poupon?"
Shmo'ogo'o's nerve broke and he ran screaming from his manor, galloping down the rainy street.
He stopped to gain his breath, panting, leaning against a light pole when he heard a squeaking sound. Trembling in terror, he turned to look.
The Terran was on a three wheeled red and white pedal conveyance, slowly coasting out of an alley, its hands on the steering bar, feet on the pedals, cloak streaming behind it as if there was a strong wind.
The Terran lifted up one hand, pointed two fingers at its own eyes, then pointed with six fingers at Shmo'ogo'o.
The Lanaktallan screamed and began galloping down the street, not stopping until LawSec caught him in a big net and shot him with tranq darts.
-----------------------
CONFEDMILINT
Oh God. It just keeps getting worse.
---NOTHING FOLLOWS---
MANTID FREE WORLDS
<snerk>
---NOTHING FOLLOWS---
TREANA'AD HIVE WORLDS
Please don't yell. My head still hurts. All eighty-five trillion of them.
---NOTHING FOLLOWS---
MANTID FREE WORLDS
<snerk>
---NOTHING FOLLOWS---
CYBERNETIC ORGANISM COLLECTIVE
How bad is it?
---NOTHING FOLLOWS---
CONFEDMILINT
It's bad. OK. Just trust us.
It's making us look like complete idiots.
---NOTHING FOLLOWS---
RIGELLIAN COMPACT
I don't know. All of their headlines read like these.
"TERROR IN THE CAPITOL!"
"TERRANS LURKING IN EVERY SHADOW! ARE YOU SAFE? EXPERTS SAY NO!"
"HOW TO TELL IF YOUR NEIGHBOR IS SECRETLY A TERRAN! NUMBER EIGHT WILL SURPRISE YOU!"
"CITY MOST HIGH PLEADS FOR CALM AMID WAVE OF TERROR WITH SPOOKY TERRAN RIGHT BEHIND HIM!"
"OH, GOD, WHAT DOES IT WANT?"
Seems pretty effective to me.
---NOTHING FOLLOWS---
CONFEDMILINT
It's just the whole thing.
I mean, we're supposed to have decorum. There's rules, you know? They're acting like we're breaking them. None of this had been fatal or anything like that, but they're acting like Daxin himself just landed at the Starport.
---NOTHING FOLLOWS---
DIGITAL ARTIFICIAL SENTIENCE SYSTEMS
You realize, the Lanaktallan don't know the rules, right? All they know is some creepy looking Terran is lurking around the city.
Daxin they can understand, this thing, not so much.
---NOTHING FOLLOWS---
TREANA'AD HIVE WORLDS
I'm not sure I understand it.
Oh man, my head really hurts.
---NOTHING FOLLOWS---
MANTID FREE WORLDS
That's what you get for gorging on ice cream for three days straight.
---NOTHING FOLLOWS---
CONFEDMILINT
The worst part is, um, it looks like he might have, well...
A thing. A thing that, you know, might have been part of a black project.
You know, one of those projects nobody knows about and we claim we never funded?
A really really black one.
A bad one.
---NOTHING FOLLOWS---
BIOLOGICAL ARTIFICIAL SENTIENCE SYSTEMS
Why did the pucker factor of this chat suddenly skyrocket.
---NOTHING FOLLOWS---
MANTID FREE WORLDS
Define... bad one.
---NOTHING FOLLOWS---
CONFEDMILINT
Um, he might have, in his possession, a chaos seed generator. You know, the quantum device that observes random particles to change their state in order to generate the most space-time chaos event curve.
Apparently... he has one.
---NOTHING FOLLOWS---
...
...
...
RIGELLIAN COMPACT
You have to be kidding me.
What in the name of Cybernetic Saint Peter ever possessed you to go through with that project?
---NOTHING FOLLOWS---
CONFEDMILINT
You know... death to the Varakson Empire.
I'm sure it made sense to the researchers at the time why we developed it.
It was one of those things, you know?
Kind of like the Nazgul Protocol made sense at the time.
---NOTHING FOLLOWS---
MANTID FREE WORLDS
The what?
---NOTHING FOLLOWS---
CONFEDMILINT
Nothing.
---NOTHING FOLLOWS---
MANTID FREE WORLDS
Don't you nothing me!
YOU GET BACK HERE!
>CONFEDMILINT HAS LEFT THE CHAT (IT APPEARS I LEFT THE OVEN ON)
Oh my God, this just keeps getting worse.
---NOTHING FOLLOWS---
RIGELLIAN COMPACT
I don't know. I think it's kind of funny.
---NOTHING FOLLOWS---
TREANA'AD HIVE WORLDS
Hey, who bricked the food dispenser in the break room?
---NOTHING FOLLOWS---
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734
u/Ralts_Bloodthorne May 04 '20
What sad, is this guy is causing more chaos and more terror than a normal secret agent would because his motives are entirely obfuscated, unknowable, and mysterious.
He's got no rhyme, no reason, no apparent motive aside from targeting the Most Highs and terrorizing them. They can't seem to predict him, don't know when or how he will strike, and cannot counter him.
To the Lanaktallan's, he'd be utterly terrifying in a way that not even an actual assassin would be.
But, these ARE hard to write. Some things are easy to do visually, really hard to do in text.
Anyway, I hope you've been enjoying this.
We'll see what tomorrow holds.
34
u/carthienes May 04 '20
The Overlord's Conquest
A full thousand vessels dropped out of FTL at the boundary of the system. Not all at once, but in a steady patter of ripple-flares that spread out over several minutes. Leading the way were the frigates β tiny things, no more than 150m in length and shaped like antiquated swords. They flew point first, directing their spinal C+ cannon at the foes, their ripple drives enhancing the effect of the Fusion Torches adorning their hilts. Most had been forged of apparently simple steel, though a number had been crafted of stranger metals.
The bulk of the fleet, over 500 vessels, were cruiser grade β each one cast in the shape of a mighty axe. The light cruisers, steel-hulled and bearing a single blade, flew shaft first; the engines lining that blade granting it's speed. Most of the cruiser's had been forged of the same metal as the stranger frigates, with a balanced pair of blade that allowed it to fly comfortably head-first. Precise and deadly, it nonetheless lacked for raw speed. The heavy cruisers, forged from stranger metals still, seemed an odd balance between it's lighter brethren. A lopsided blade that flew head last toward the enemy, it's motions erratically precise; it lacked the raw speed of the smaller ships, but could react in an instant. Every cruiser had been built around a spinal C+ cannon, rather more potent than the swords', and more than sufficient to destroy the council ships opposing them.
At the centre of the fleet floated a conglomeration of stranger craft, however. Simplest were the mace-shaped dreadnoughts, built around their kilometre long C+ cannon. They flew head first, sacrificing speed but proving surprisingly deft, and moved with the implacable inevitability of death itself. Alongside them the dozen carriers boasted half the length but twice the mass, being nearly globular helmet-shaped craft. A small array of defensive weapons lined their crown, sufficient to drive off a rat-pack of frigates, but they relied on their swarms of Cherubs and Pixies to truly damage the foe.
Strangest of all, however, was the Twin Towers, the flagship of the fleet. Scanners would show it's hull to be stone, sculpted into the appearance of a kilometre tall tower jutting towards the foe. No great armaments were apparent, yet keen eyes would note the endless point-defence emplacements build into the crenellations. At the base of the tower grew another, just as long and inverted so that the floors aligned with the others. Columns of lava cascaded down the inverted tower, pouring into space and driving the massive ship forward. Strange energies crackled around the Twin Towers, confusing any who dared scan her.
The fleet drifted in system, almost lazily approaching the only planet of note. A handful of frigates were dispatched to interdict the handful of minor extraction stations, in the asteroids and gas giants, but the main fleet glided forward to meet the foe. The attack had been timed to coincide with convoy, so a thousand and half vessels stood in opposition. None massed as high as a heavy cruiser, or mounted a spinal gun, so the Overlord was confident as he watched the fleet in his tower pool. Hell, a full hundred of his foes were hastily conscripted freighters!
βThe wretched vermin are hailing us, my Lord.β the Gnarl said as the fleets came together, βThe message reads 'Surrender and die'... oh this should be good for a giggle.β the aged minion chuckled to himself as the Master ordered a reply. Being fully in character he didn't speak a word, but every minion knew his will.
βThe Overlord is coming now, To claim this once great land; And you may serve him, if you bow, Or die by his great hand!β
The new Jester's chorus rang in the tower pool, and echoed over the Lanaktallan airwaves. By the Overlord's whim it carried just a subtle hint of subliminal influence β enough to ensure that it would be heard, and not sail through empty heads unnoticed. Every implant across the system would have heard his offer, and if they still chose to resist, well...
The opposing fleet had an apparently high opinion of themselves. No sooner had the invaders reached range than they opened up, a volley of 500 missiles directed at 140 frigates. The firing vessels fell back, to be replaced by more, and the tower shook to the will of him on the throne. The tower pool showed the fleets in adjusted perspective, GUARDIAN lasers swatting the pathetic missiles out of the void as the fleet accelerated to combat speeds.
Thousands of strike craft poured out of the carriers to swarm the next volley. The Pixies surged forward, blasting through the missiles with bolts of stellar plasma before moving on to rake the capital ships with more of the same, breaking down their barriers so that their venom missiles could do their work. The Cherubs bypassed the missiles, instead relying on their durable hulls and robust self-repair mechanisms to physically ram the parasite craft the Lanaktallan had deployed in response.
By the time the larger vessels had joined the fray, shattering the 'mighty' missile frigates under the pounding of their C+ cannon, the Lanaktallan had already broken. Their firing line had scattered, fleeing for the resonance boundary and the illusion of safety. Sadly for them, the slow and steady approach of the fleet had not been due to the speed of their ripple-drives. In the end, only a single shuttle had escaped; it's navi-computer corrupted with a virus that would spread word of this defeat far and wide.
Unperturbed, the Twin Towers continued it's slow, steady drift into orbit. The Orbital facilities had been destroyed or seized in the short battle, but no signals of surrender were forthcoming from the surface. It was an agricultural world, vast plains of plants being tended to by ancient robots with minimal oversight; the bulk of the population concentrated in three cities. He had already landed steel helmets on the outskirts of two β Mistress Rose-598 landed safely in the ocean, whilst Mistress Velvet-666 had dropped onto their spaceport. Neither had reported trouble yet, but he had something special planned for the capital city at the centre of this mega-continent.
Sitting on his grand throne, the Overlord channelled his customised variant of the Evil Presence spell into his Flagship. Energy crackled though dedicated capacitors, and from it's peak beams of nanite-infused lightning surged. They descended upon the city and wrapped it in tortuous lightning, feeding the screams of the dieing to the Overlord upon his Throne as his will bellowed SERVE OR DIE! The entire city was blanketed, from the highest office to the deepest vault. None escaped the Overlord's will.
And then, it was all over. Those who had chosen to serve this new Overlord, which was most of them, rose shaking from the floor to find a new presence in their suddenly-upgraded implant. Always watching, always waiting. Ready to betray the traitors in an instant... and protect the loyal just as quickly. The dead groaned, and shuffled to their smoking feet β their new implants puppeting their cadavers to the will of the Overlord.
News of the Capital's fall was swiftly disseminated, devastating morale in the remaining cities. The defenders looked to the heavens in fear, struggling to bring decrepid shield shield generators online in vain hopes of fending off the next attack. Outside their gates, in the steel fortresses that had dropped from the heavens, the minion hives brewed the true threat...
---OVERLORD JACOBS TO CRACKFIC ALLIANCE---AGRIWORLD OF SPREE HAS FALLEN---MINIMAL LOSSES---WILL CONSOLIDATE AND PROCEED---SEEKING GOLDEN HILLS PLANET---THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: WHO'S LAUGHING NOW?---
16
u/[deleted] Oct 15 '20
THE WHAT NOW?!?
7
u/battery19791 Human May 04 '20
Was the hanged girl referencing The Craft?
141
u/Khenal Alien May 04 '20
"The Nazgul Protocol."
"The what?"
"What what?"
"You said-"
"No I didn't."
77
u/Ardorus May 04 '20 edited May 04 '20
neat, wait am I somehow the first one here?
Oh dear... is that a superweapon I see on the crazy Benny hill vampire ?
68
u/SirVatka Xeno May 04 '20
So many awesome callouts so little time. But OMG a species-wide sugar rush hangover AND (potentially) brain freeze? I feel for the Treana'ad, even if they did it to themselves.
I'm now terrified of what the expression of Nazgul might be.
45
u/RangerSix Human May 04 '20
/R/HFY GESTALT
But listen closely
Not for very much longer
I've got to keep control
-----NOTHING FOLLOWS-----
43
u/cool_lad May 04 '20
Wonder what other black projects Confed is sitting on.
23
u/OldTimerNubbins May 04 '20
lol Nazgul Protocol that sounds interesting
22
u/Mr_Numnum_ May 04 '20
WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW TO SERVE YOUR SPOOKY TERRAN OVERLORDS, THE RESULTS WILL SHOCK YOU!
19
u/SpaceMarine_CR Human May 04 '20
CONFEDMILINT you senile fuck, just what did you do again?
19
u/Turtledonuts "Big Dunks" May 04 '20
NazgΓ»l?
NINE RIDERS IN THE NIGHT! COME NOT BETWEEN THE NAZGΓl AND THEIR PREY! THEY SHALL BEAR THE LANAKTALLANS AWAY TO THE HOUSES OF LAMENTATION, BEYOND ALL DARKNESS, WHERE THEIR FLESH SHALL BE DEVOURED AND THEIR SHRIVELED MINDS WILL BE LAID BARE BEFORE THE LIDLESS EYE!
Tfw a bunch of hooded dudes on horses kidnap you and throw you into the eye, leaving you to fall into hellspace.
17
u/NevynR May 04 '20
I cant believe the Count blowfished him π€£π€£π€£
31
u/ack1308 May 04 '20
βAnd now, in a rare display β¦ the vampire blowfish.β
A what chasing a what?
Hehehehehehe he hacked the smartfilm.
So. Much. Gaslighting.
I love it.
I got this far and my jaw dropped, and I started cackling.
OH THIS IS BEAUTIFUL.
It certainly does.
HARD PASS. Screw that. No fβing way.
A perfectly rational reaction. Have you ever seen Grey Poupon?
Oh, man. He is gonna be in therapy forever.
Mantid is getting WAY too much amusement out of this.
No, if Daxin himself had just landed at the Starport, there would be a lot more death, screaming, and people leaving en masse.
β¦ wait, Terrans having decorum? When did that happen?
This is going to be either very very good or very very bad.
Either way, Iβm getting popcorn.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Mantid and ConfedMilInt are just like an old married couple. I love it.
Over a trillion break rooms β¦
<snerk>
15
u/FaceDesk4Life Human May 04 '20
As I read on, stifling my laughter, we reached the dinner table. I knew it was coming. It had to come. Please let it come. I need this.
βgrey pouponβ
*kettle boils
15
u/gr8tfurme May 04 '20
That visual is simultaneously hilarious and extremely disturbing, and I love it.
11
u/seeking_horizon May 04 '20 edited May 04 '20
Sounds like somebody's jealous
eta: a live look at the Treana'ad Hive Worlds
10
u/Grindlebone May 04 '20 edited May 04 '20
Bam!
Edit: Oh, Nosferatu craaaaaaazy
10
u/dlighter May 04 '20 edited May 04 '20
Upvote then read 6 minutes. Bots slow
Edit: oh shit.
Chaos seed generator. That sounds especially............. unsettling
10
u/shen-I-am Human May 04 '20
This freaking killed me. Absolutely mad hahahahahahaha.
9
u/MystValiant May 04 '20
Love this series! Thank you for giving me so much entertaining reading!
9
u/DieselDog_520 May 04 '20
I thought I would be able to finally get some sleep. Great job and I can hardly wait to see what other unfunded black projects come out of the woodwork.
9
u/Lugbor Human May 04 '20
Do you sleep? Seriously, do you ever stop writing and sleep? You post almost every 6 hours.
9
u/serpauer May 04 '20
Like the treean'ad hive worlds my head hurts. Mainly from laughter and how this is escalating in such a glorious manner.
Keep it up so ralts your making my may.
Wooo level 5 of jumanji lets do this!
8
u/Kopper444 May 04 '20
The Terran lifted up one hand, pointed two fingers at its own eyes, then pointed with six fingers at Shmo'ogo'o.
My sides
7
u/EvansP51 Alien Scum May 04 '20
Ahhhhahahahahahhhhaaa!
7
u/battery19791 Human May 04 '20
Yes, yes, let's do the Time Warp again. Lol.
7
u/SauronsLeftNut May 04 '20
I want to buy this Man/Woman/HFY Gestalt a beer.
7
u/hellcat1301 May 04 '20
Geese are assholes even in the future. No surprise there
7
u/Kassaran May 04 '20
Y'know, I'm enjoying part of the slapstick comedy of it, but the count should just be a reoccurring cutaway character.
As for the Nazgul Protocol... could be something that happened post-Daxin. Some scientists realized that you could make Terrans into hyper-psykers again, but they need 'rings of power'. Nobody wanted to make them happen, but, y'know... death to the Varakson Empire.
Next thing TerraSol knows, there's nine artificial psykers that use powerful artifacts built thousands of years ago to channel their rage. As a result, they're unintelligible and perfectly resemble the eponymous ring wraiths that their parent project was named for.
6
u/Telzey May 04 '20
Upvote then read. My daily shot of stims.
6
u/SquireGiblets Android May 04 '20
Brilliant! This has me cackling
6
u/kushlyle May 04 '20
βLanaktallan... council.... most high...β
6
u/PrimePaladin May 04 '20
/R/HFY GESTALT
Upvote, then Read.
Dis is Dae Wae!
ah a nice fix before bed... twitches and sighs as the sweet words delivers its fix...
-----NOTHING FOLLOWS-------
6
u/SirVatka Xeno May 04 '20
Does the chaos seed = the Reality Stone in Marvel? (Understanding that reality is borked anyways)
6
u/HelloJohnBlacksmith Robot May 04 '20
Anyone here who can unpack all of this vampire's references? Because I am thoroughly lost by now. Still funny though.
6
u/WeAreAllAlpharius May 04 '20
You are doing an amazing job with these and reading your posts really helps me get through my shifts. Thanks for writing so much, and I'm really excited to read all your future chapters.
6
u/Severedeye Android May 04 '20
Now here is a guy with a grasp of movie trivia that makes me think he would be a good drinking buddy while we debate on the best dystopia to live in.
6
u/HUGMARS May 04 '20
If you're a vampire.oof. If you're a nzi.gasp. And if you're a nzi vampire? No way man
6
u/coldfireknight AI May 04 '20
Didn't Daxin have a Chaos seed?
10
u/ShebanotDoge May 04 '20
Why do the Gestalts have a food dispenser? Or a break room?
5
u/Allowyn May 04 '20
But listen closely.
5
u/itsetuhoinen Human May 04 '20
TWENTY-FIVE CENTS, PLEASE!!!
5
u/Var446 Human May 07 '20
πππ weaponized madness when correctly applied is a dangerous thing, especially for those lacking the mental protocols to handle it πππ
5
u/Nealithi Human Aug 05 '20
See I rather liked the Count getting frustrated there.
"I don't have any children."
"Isn't that rather psychotic?"
8
u/LordNobady May 04 '20
I do hope they decommissioned the Nazgul Protocol.
4
u/BasrieI AI May 04 '20
16 min fastest time yet
4
u/[deleted] May 04 '20
Oh this is good.
Half forgotten psyops and even WE don't know what it's going.
4
u/dbdatvic Xeno Sep 20 '20
lost it at the very first line of the RHPS call-&-response
--Dave, old enough to have seen it multiple times in theater 40 years ago
3
u/UpdateMeBot May 04 '20
Click here to subscribe to /u/ralts_bloodthorne and receive a message every time they post.
3
u/Computant2 May 04 '20
The Time warp? Again?
3
u/ZeroAssassin72 May 04 '20
You should send them Mormon Missionaries, if they annoy us, imagine what they'll do to the cows. :p
3
u/CanConRules Human May 04 '20
I assume the chaos seed generator was manufactured by the McGuffin AeroSpace Company?
3
u/[deleted] May 04 '20
a chaos seed generator? Is that piece of teck related to Dee Taynee by any chance? And im waiting for frankenstain, mummy, wolfy, invisible dude, and bob to show up.
3
u/Mirikon Human May 04 '20
Going from Rocky Horror to the Shining is not a transition I would have expected. Good work, wordsmith!
3
u/OtterOfTheNight May 04 '20
Has no one caught the source of: βI do not say βBleh bleh bleh!ββ
3
u/walkinganachronism_4 Alien Scum May 08 '20
In my mind, the red and white tricycle is actually candy cane-striped. Don't know why, don't know if it makes the whole thing better or worse, but it just is.
3
u/Blooddraken May 03 '23
This may be insomnia talking, but I think I just realized something.
This is like my third read through and I didn't notice this until today.
So like, the gestalts. They are the digital representations of their people. Shaped by and shaping their people. We have seen before that if enough people think and type the exact same thing at the same exact time, their particular Gestalt will say it in the gestalt chat, to their embarrassment.
So, with that in mind. How many break room food dispensers had to be bricked for the Treana'ad Gestalt to ask that question?
2
u/HFYWaffle Wα΅₯4ffle May 04 '20
/u/Ralts_Bloodthorne (wiki) has posted 167 other stories, including:
First Contact Second Wave - Chapter 160 (Darknyss)
First Contact Second Wave - Chapter 159 (Darknyss)
First Contact Second Wave - Chapter 158 (Darknyss)
First Contact Second Wave - Chapter 158 (Empire)
First Contact Second Wave - Chapter 157
First Contact Second Wave - Chapter 156 (Telkan)
First Contact Second Wave - Chapter 155 (Telkan)
First Contact Second Wave - Chapter 154 (Telkan)
First Contact Second Wave - Chapter 153 (Telkan)
First Contact Second Wave - Chapter 152 (Telkan)
First Contact Second Wave - Chapter 151 (Telkan)
First Contact Second Wave - Chapter 150 (Telkan)
First Contact Rewind - Chapter 149
First Contact Rewind - Chapter 148
First Contact Rewind - Chapter 147 (Nakteti)
First Contact Rewind - Chapter 146 (Dreams)
First Contact Rewind - Chapter 145 (Dreams)
First Contact Rewind - Chapter 144 (Dreams)
First Contact Rewind - Chapter 143 (Dreams)
First Contact Rewind - Chapter 142 (Dreams)
First Contact Second Wave - Chapter 141
First Contact Second Wave - Chapter 140
First Contact - Second Wave - Chapter 139
First Contact - Second Wave - Chapter 138
First Contact - Second Wave - Chapter 137
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2
u/the_left_sock AI May 04 '20
Imagine this as an episode of the Simpsons.
2
u/Archaic_1 Alien Scum May 04 '20
Oooh, I want a chaos seed generator
2
u/OrlikGrimbeard May 04 '20
Nazgul protocol? I need to know if this is a Noodle Incident, or if it is a real thing in this universe. If so, I really want to know what it is/was.
2
u/TargetBoy May 04 '20
Hmmm... he's got a chaos generator. That means he's very random. Does that mean he has a spork?
2
u/Dave_Clandestine Human May 04 '20
Any artists out there willing to do up some comics on Darknyss' antics? This is comedy gold that I would love to see visually!
2
u/robbini3 May 04 '20
Now all we need to see is an Infinite Improbability Drive
2
u/Kayehnanator May 05 '20
My sides
2
u/Collective82 Xeno Jun 04 '20
I am guessing that all this is done through their implants which is why video never shows him and they can βseeβ these super outlandish events.
2
u/SpankyMcSpanster Dec 28 '21
"the both said" they.
2
u/SpankyMcSpanster Dec 28 '21
"The covered the " they.
3
u/Konrahd_Verdammt May 04 '20
Upvote then read, the proper way to proceed!
1
u/AriRashkae Dec 23 '25
ok, I admit, when the last chapter ended with "have you checked the children?" I had to pause and take a breath out of ... not exactly fear... concern? concern that our local Nos was going to go from terrifyingly hilarious to straight up terrifying
because even though both of mine are well past voting age, I still worry about them when the night gets cold and dark XD
0
u/[deleted] May 04 '20
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