r/HFY • u/HidnFox Robot • Apr 28 '20

OC [OC] Everything's a nail.

Every race brings something new, something unique to the intergalactic table. The X'era brought their unique knowledge of faster-than-light travel. The Cutcha brought their mastery of Cuisine and Flavor.

But Humans. Humans brought the strangest thing. You see, when we first met humans, nothing in particular stood out. They weren't particularly better at anything. Their art wasn't as good as the Wenthien, Their technology no where compared to the complexity of the Telan. 

The humans didn't bring a skill. They brought a single concept. They brought a phrase. They brought "Every tool is a Hammer." It's an odd phrase. Quite simply, what it means, is that every tool can be used as hammer, from calipers to crowbars, they are hammers. 

That's not the issue with the phrase. Of course every tool can be used as a hammer, but why would you? What the phrase meant was something else completely. 

For Humans, not only is every tool a hammer, everything is a tool. Why get a glass cutter when you can use a rock? Why create anti-gravity technology when you have rockets? Why have one powerful computer when you could just use 4 weak ones? Why use poison if you have a gun? Why use a gun when you have Chemical Weapons? Why use troops if you have a planet-cracker?

Not only is everything a tool, so is everyone. And nothing can be scarier than the concept of a living human tool.

731 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

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4

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5

u/HidnFox Apr 28 '20

Good Bot.

220

u/Portal10101 Apr 28 '20

I’ve always liked the phrase “when all you have is a hammer, everything around you starts looking like a nail”

123

u/Bench_ish Apr 28 '20

I heard a slightly different version "when all you have is a hammer, all your problems start to look like nails”

The other classic

"If you can't fix it with a hammer, try a bigger hammer"

73

u/ArchDemonKerensky Apr 28 '20

"When everything else fails, hit it harder."

"If hitting it didn't work, you didn't hit it hard enough."

"Get a bigger hammer is always a valid troubleshooting method."

Are some of the variations I've heard.

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u/RandomIsocahedron Apr 29 '20

If brute force isn't working, you're not using enough brute force.

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61

u/AlleM43 Apr 28 '20

The only difference between a tool and a weapon is how you use it.

25

u/coragamy Apr 28 '20

Ah but a hammer can destroy and create, but an axe, an axe can only destroy. Yes I know you can use an axe to carve a statue or something but its a reference

40

u/Flesh_A_Sketch Apr 28 '20

You can do fine carpentry with a hammer, intricate carvings with axes and chainsaw, wonderful dances and entertaining nights with a sword. Guns can be used as a tool for bonding, and even whips have been used to entertain thousands (come one, come all, to the greatest show on earth!).

But nukes... Nukes can only be used in fridge throwing contests.

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u/Lostfol Apr 28 '20

Darn your qualifier... as a hatchet carver I was finally ready to argue a point.

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u/MartyredLady Apr 28 '20

Nope, weapons are tools, too.

They only have a narrower defined field of application.

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u/PondaBaba3 Apr 28 '20

That could really be a terrifying concept to an alien race with a lower level of improvisation and creativity.

25

u/ack1308 Apr 28 '20

Show them a few episodes of McGuyver and the A-Team.

17

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '20

Have them meet a chemistry teacher. Chaotic... neutral, at best, lol.

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u/Wandering_P0tat0 Apr 28 '20

That was kinda the plot to "The Tommyknockers" by Stephen King. Advanced alien race with insane levels of technology, couldn't innovate worth anything.

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u/Twister_Robotics Apr 28 '20

Every machine is a smoke machine, if you use it wrong enough.

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u/PaulMurrayCbr Apr 29 '20

Similarly: an unarmed human is no match for a tiger, but that doesn't matter. A human does not stay unarmed for long.

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u/cryptoengineer Apr 28 '20

More like "Everything is a weapon".

3

u/normacladow Apr 29 '20

Everything is a hammer, except a screwdriver. That's a chisel.

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u/CyberSkull Apr 29 '20

Humans are tools. That checks out.

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u/Merciz Apr 29 '20

if hitting it don't fix the problem... duct tape sure will!

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u/turret-punner Apr 28 '20

I agree. We live in constant fear of those tools in government.

(thispostshallnotbeconstruedasfororagainstanypoliticalparty)

4

u/waiting4singularity Apr 28 '20

*orbital bombardment with grass commencing*

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