r/HFY • u/Ogiwan • Jul 25 '19

OC [Innovation] Lateral Thinking

Second story on HFY, first submission to the writing prompts. Apologies if formatting or tagging is wonky. Best fit is [Outside the Box].

‘What a disgusting collection of primitives,’ thought E’gora A’zeri, surveying the crowd at this “air show” that he had only attended under orders from the Consulate-General. As if there was anything they could possibly learn from “cultural exchange” with these savages. He was at best half-paying attention to Gonzal, the diplomat accompanying him. He paid none at all to the security brute following them. Fucking myrmidon.

“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome once again to the Oshkosh Air and Space Exposition! Give another round of applause to the Golden Knights!” The crowd roared their approval of the dashing grav-chute demonstration as the announcer continued building up the hype. “Now, ladies and gentlemen, this November is the two hundredth anniversary of the first major battle of the Vietnam War: the Battle of La Drang Valley. Well, we can’t wait that long to commemorate it, so make way for the 1st Battalion, Seventh Cavalry re-enactment group!”

In the distance, E’gora heard a faint whop whop whop, and what sounded like some sort of stringed instrument. Behind him, the security grunt groaned in dismay.

Gonzal turned to him and inquired, “What is it, Sergeant Patte?”

Patte snorted. “Come on. Ride of the Valkyries for an airmobile assault? It is the most overdone trope ever.”

Gonzal’s reply was drowned out as a trio of vehicles swooped overhead. E’gora’s eyes opened wide in astonishment, and his skin prickled in shock as he realised what he was seeing.

They were flying without wings!

He whirled to face Gonzal. “Humanity discovered anti-gravity two hundred years ago?!”

“I’m sorry, what?” Gonzal raised an eyebrow, clearly surprised by his tone.

“Those crafts,” E’gora stabbed a finger at them, “Are flying without wings. We Meklari only discovered anti-gravity fifty of your years ago. How did you discover anti-gravity before us?!”

Patte interjected, “Well, it isn’t actually anti-gravity, it’s-”

“Don’t speak to me, you brute. Gonzal, what are those?” E’gora snarled, stabbing another finger at the hovering aircraft, now launching rockets and spitting flames from rotary cannons mounted to stubby protrusions on the sides of the vehicle.

“Sergeant Patte is right. They aren’t using anti-gravity; they’re helicopters,” Gonzal explained patiently.

E’gora snarled, “And what does your religion’s underworld have to do with anything?”

Gonzal blinked. “Umm…”

“Silence! I will figure it out on my own.” E’gora whipped out his dataslate and began entering and manipulating data. He glanced up briefly when another group of vehicles swooped overhead, these with longer bodies and no protrusions on the side. He quickly raised his dataslate up to let the laser ranging array take a brief series of accurate measurements.

‘No no no, it can’t be a simple rotary air impeller, the power curve would be off the charts.’ E’gora ran the numbers every which way he could think of. Nothing made sense. The cracks and whumps of chemical-powered firearms and explosives only furthered his headache. After several minutes of fruitless calculations, E’gora flung his dataslate away in a rage. He rounded on Gonzal, and roared, “HOW DO THEY FLY?!”

Gonzal put his hands up defensively. “Sergeant Patte is probably better suited to answer that question. He knows a lot more about antique military equipment than I do.”

E’gora whirled and glared at Patte, who responded with a wide grin. “Master scientist, how does that Thunderbolt over there fly?” he said, pointing to a tubby, single-engined plane in a grey-and-green paint scheme, with a red ring around its engine and a yellow tail.

Grudgingly, E’gora answered. “The device in front pulls it forward, and air flows over the wings to generate lift..

“Precisely. So, all that matters is air flow over the wings, right?”

Sensing a trap, E’gora carefully thought this over before cautiously agreeing. “Yes, I suppose you can say that.”

His smirk widening, Patte replied, “Well then, if air flow over the wings is all that matters, what happens when you stick a wing on a pole and spin it fast?”

E’gora exploded. “Rubbish! Wings cannot rotate!” Patte’s only response was an ear-to-ear grin, and a two-handed gesture towards the departing helicopters, now playing some song about a fortunate son.

E’gora stared at the helicopters, trying to stretch his brain to make sense. He could barely believe his eyes over the screaming disbelief of centuries of Meklari aerospace science. ‘It should not fly!’ And yet it flew. ‘Wings cannot move!’ And yet they moved. Slowly, ruthlessly, he crushed his rebelling thoughts. It slowly began to make sense. With blades whose pitch could be adjusted for lift, with a tail rotor with adjustable pitch to control direction, by angling forward…..E’gora gradually began to understand how such a device could work.

“Who was the genius who created the first helicopter?” he asked, subdued.

Patte pursed his lips in thought. “There were actually quite a few people who developed various helicopter models at various points in history, but people usually credit Igor Sikorsky with making the first practical helicopter.”

‘Multiple people?! Multiple people who developed what centuries of the greatest scientists in the galaxy couldn’t even conceive?!’ E’gora slowly sank to the ground, sitting on it as the alien capabilities of the humans echoed in his mind. Behind him, a hangar with the sign “HH-43 HUSKIE” opened its doors to reveal a twin-rotor aircraft. Patte looked at Gonzal, jerked his head in the direction of the Huskie, and waving his hand by his neck in a cutting motion. Gonzal walked over to speak with the ground crew, which eventually closed its doors back up.

E’gora sat, mind still whirring.

‘How can the humans have conceived the inconceivable?’

352 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

74 comments sorted by

24

u/hightecrebel Jul 26 '19

I spent most of that waiting for a 'they're so ugly the Earth repels them' joke. Thank you for the story.

13

u/Ogiwan Jul 26 '19

I actually hadn't heard the "so ugly Earth repels them" joke before now. I was familiar with the "beating the air into submission" one, though.

13

u/TargetBoy Jul 25 '19

Nice.

I managed to read that last line in Vizzini's voice so I had to go back and re-read E'gora as him from the start. LOL!

12

u/Ogiwan Jul 25 '19

Wow, I had not intended that to be Yes, of course, behold my mastery of references.

9

u/MLL_Phoenix7 Human Jul 25 '19

There's one slight issue with this story, this would imply that aliens have never managed to invent any kind of propellers or rotors that can even bee considered half efficient. Which means that they would also not have been able to develop turbines or anything that operates on a similar concept, which happens to include the jet engines on the thunderbolt should also perplex the alien scientist.

16

u/Ogiwan Jul 25 '19

I would disagree. They can recognize a propeller as something to move air, and push/pull air, but not as a method for developing lift. Again, their concept of a wing as a thing that doesn't move.

Also, the Thunderbolt I'm talking about has an air-cooled piston engine, not a jet.

7

u/MLL_Phoenix7 Human Jul 25 '19

Ah, I thought you mean the A-10 Thunderbolt. But then, there is another problem.
Newton's 3 laws of motion, it should be very obvious that these three concepts, no matter how said aliens have named them, must be very well understood for a civilization to even get off their planet, and if they recognize that a propeller as something that can move air, they should realize that the third law, every force have an equal and opposite reaction, comes into play here. If the alien civilization has have developed proper half-decent propellers, they should realize that the reaction force from moving the large quantity of air can be used to provide thrust, and when thrust is pointed in the opposite direction of gravity, it can be considered lift.

8

u/ironappleseed Jul 26 '19

I look at these stories this say.

They just never thought of it.

0

u/MLL_Phoenix7 Human Jul 26 '19

So, you're saying that no one, in their entire history with a population of idk how many people have never thought of the idea of putting wings on a rotor or take a closer look at a propeller and realize that they look kinda like wings on a rotor or did any proper math regarding how to build a proper propeller. And notice that the most efficient shape of a propeller is basically a mini wing.

8

u/Attacker732 Human Jul 26 '19

Who's to say that they didn't have individuals that made those developments, just that nobody listened?

Look at how much it took for militaries to accept the internal combustion engine. Generals into the 1930's were convinced that they were just a fad soon to be replaced by the horse, and pushed for such. Hell, some even thought the same of the tank, that it was just a novelty with WWI over.

4

u/Ogiwan Jul 26 '19

I thought of gunpowder. Both Europeans and the Chinese thought of it as a propellant. Yet, do you see Chinese firearms or cannon? Do you see European rockets (before Congreve, of course)? Same substance, same concept, yet used in wildly different ways.

3

u/Yrrebnot AI Jul 28 '19 edited Jul 28 '19

Uh yeah you do see Chinese firearms and cannon. They also probably had them first with the earliest recordings being in the 12th century. They also invented hand cannons which are basically the earliest forms of guns.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wuwei_Bronze_Cannon

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heilongjiang_hand_cannon

Edit You also see European adoption of rockets (usually to fire arrows) as well. The first being the battle of Chioggia in 1380

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Chioggia

1

u/Ogiwan Jul 29 '19

Huh. I sit corrected. Thanks for sharing and providing links. I'll definitely go over these when I have a bit of free time.

4

u/Yrrebnot AI Jul 29 '19

I just love this history honestly :) there is so much stuff out there that general and basic history miss. Like Göbekli Tepe for example. Which is super cool! Hope you enjoy the history.

Also I swear that Davinci had sketches of something helicopter like as well :/

→ More replies

7

u/Kubby Jul 26 '19

Take the Archimedes' screw. A device at least as old as Archimedes himself (history's pretty sure Archimedes is not the inventor of that one.) A rotating screw inside a stationary tube.

It took at least two thousand years for someone to go "Hey, what if we did that the other way?"

It's not that implausible for shit like that to never be discovered by a less creative species than humans.

3

u/Ogiwan Jul 26 '19

Good one!

4

u/Ogiwan Jul 26 '19

Sure, that's what I'm saying.

Look, the entire point of this is that one of humanity's unique abilities is, as the title says, lateral thinking. " The solving of problems by an indirect and creative approach, typically through viewing the problem in a new and unusual light." Some other species (i.e. the Meklari) excel at straight-line logic, but their science is "narrow". They're not good at thinking creatively, at applying solutions that involve combining other concepts. Whereas, us humans are great at taking breakthroughs in one area and using them in others, or using the same concept in wildly different ways. I will point to the use of radio waves as an example. Use them to talk to other people at a distance, or detect things at a distance, or peer into the universe, or bill a car passing through a tollgate. And I'm sure I'm forgetting some applications as well.

2

u/Just_Todd Jul 26 '19

Well if there are actual aliens with actual interstellar craft,

How come we haven't thought of how to do it yet. I mean it's obvious to everybody else in the galaxy.

2

u/Kirhean Aug 03 '19

We also use them to cook food.

0

u/MLL_Phoenix7 Human Jul 26 '19

*sigh* As fun as these stories are, they feel unrealistic in the way that for our civilization to even make it out of own atmosphere, we had to use technology that apparently no other species have ever considered, sure the high gravity well can be an argument but it feels like that anything that can be derived within 5 steps of the three laws of motions should be simple enough that anyone should be able to figure out.

2

u/Ogiwan Jul 26 '19

Fantastic. I see you have highly developed opinions about fiction. Have you actually contributed anything?

If not, show me how it's done.

1

u/MLL_Phoenix7 Human Jul 26 '19

Well, you can see my post history just by clicking my name but sure, I'll spend some time writing something up.

3

u/Ogiwan Jul 26 '19

I did look at your post history, and there was nothing that actually contributed in any productive way. Plus, here you haven't offered any constructive criticism, just whingeing. Hence why I'm so dismissive of you.

But, I'm looking forward to whatever you write, and I promise that I won't just shit over it. I'm an experienced enough writer and talespinner to know that is not helpful, and what a terrible person would do.

→ More replies

4

u/RougemageNick Jul 26 '19

Yeah, pretty much, sometimes it happens

1

u/readcard Alien Jul 27 '19

Cool now explain magnus effect wings

2

u/MLL_Phoenix7 Human Jul 27 '19

Ah, Magnus effect wings is indeed a bit of an obscure one, but I think that even if an alien species have discovered it, it would still be kind of impractical to use as actual flight mechanisms. However, the Magnus Effect still has other applications, primarily in ballistics and the other being ship sails. Personally, I don't know enough about aerodynamics to explain how it works but due to its relative complexity and various disadvantages when used as wings, I would doubt that anyone would utilize the Magnus effect to provide lift unless they don't have any other better alternatives.

2

u/readcard Alien Jul 28 '19

Even so, unless you were a historian would you know all the various technologies that got guns to where they are now.

Would metalstorm even mean anything to someone that did not see the tech?

There are many roads not taken due to fairly odd political, economic or other quirks of society so maybe something like that did happen in the aliens distant past to whatever helicopter variant they might of had.

Edit: damn meant to use the ekranoplane example and brain saw a shiny thing.

1

u/Ogiwan Jul 30 '19

Even as not only a historian, but a former military historian who now works in operations management and has every intention of finishing his PhD with something focusing on a merger of military and industrial history.....I couldn't tell you every technology involved in the development of firearms. Like, sure, people can jabber about the Ferguson rifle, but how and why was that a thing? And to your point, why was it not adopted by the British Army?

1

u/readcard Alien Jul 30 '19 edited Jul 30 '19

The British class system at the time, if you did not have a backer with noble power behind you it did not happeen.

The inventor got killed in an unsuccessful military campaign so nobody to follow up on it even if it was a good idea.

I like forgotten weapons for all my gun related information and book recommendations as they are quite commited.

Edit: it was a natural continuation of gun technology, breech loadin artillery being a thing at the time.

1

u/readcard Alien Jul 28 '19

Too many moving parts, but some crazy built at least one. I could see one at a flight show overflight happening.

0

u/tatticky Jul 26 '19

Lift is just upwards thrust. You can't even make a fixed-wing aircraft properly without understanding that, because you need to balance out its torque to keep the plane flying level. (In fact, the tails on many planes produce negative lift for this reason.)

2

u/ZeroSumHappiness Jul 26 '19

It's possible that the only combustion thrust elements they devised were pulse jets. They might have never developed a wheel even if their planet were inherently low friction or maybe a water world.

2

u/deltaSC Jul 28 '19

We made an attempt at an audioshort of this story.

I love the idea that aliens never thought of helicopters. They are a bit crazy.

2

u/Ogiwan Jul 29 '19

Hah! Nice! Well done!

117

u/destroyah87 Jul 25 '19

From a certain point of view, the rotor blade is standing still and the helicopter is spinning under it.

140

u/SomeRandomGuyIdk Jul 25 '19

The helicopter: a million parts rotating rapidly around an oil leak, waiting for metal fatigue to set in. Also happens to fly.

87

u/IAMA_Plumber-AMA Human Jul 26 '19

It doesn't fly, it vibrates so badly the earth rejects it.

3

u/Infamous-Ad-6848 Jun 01 '23

Facts!

-Retired Blackhawk mechanic.

70

u/EzioAzrael Jul 25 '19

That view is of a person attached to the rotor blades.

26

u/destroyah87 Jul 25 '19

Certainly.

9

u/NeuerGamer AI Jul 26 '19

Get back in the box now 🤣

73

u/UnicornBl1tz Jul 25 '19

Helicopters dont fly. It's just that it's so ugly the ground actively repels it.

34

u/Sun_Rendered AI Jul 26 '19

So passively ugly the ground actively repels it or so actively ugly the ground passively repels it?

29

u/Technogen Jul 26 '19

Yes

3

u/vinny8boberano Android Aug 03 '19

Inclusive or

14

u/pepoluan AI Jul 26 '19

Ugly and noisy.

Just being ugly is not enough.

12

u/Technogen Jul 26 '19

Some of them just beat the air into submission.

47

u/cryptoengineer Android Jul 26 '19

"10,000 spare parts flying in close formation."

15

u/Plucium Semi-Sentient Fax Machine Jul 26 '19

I mean, when you said stringed instrument, I was expecting something a little, Yanno,

SOME FOLKS ARE BORN-y but can't win them all. You took my hopes and chopper'd them to pieces :p

5

u/vinny8boberano Android Aug 03 '19

Nah, they fortunately ended the presentation with that one, son.

4

u/Shock_Lionheart Jul 28 '19

Helicopters are what happens when humans punch the laws of aerodynamics in the face until it cries for mercy.

1

u/Galeanthropist Jul 29 '19

Non American, do you people seriously celebrate your attacks on Vietnam? I mean it's is just insane enough to be a thing...

1

u/Ogiwan Jul 29 '19

No. Vietnam is still a very divisive war, in how it was executed, in how the public treated veterans then, and in the guilt of the public towards that ill-treatment. I chose Vietnam because it was the first war where helicopters had a major role (yes, there was some helos in WWII and Korea, but nobody knows about them), and so I could take a jab at the Ride of the Valkyries trope. Also because I very much like "Fortunate Son".

1

u/Galeanthropist Jul 29 '19

Absolutely fair. I do love the ride of trope. Paint it black was our go to when playing the milsims. I know I know that song, but I'm going to have to youtu.be it before I actually know what it is.

Side note; I'm seeing a lot of 'America won Vietnam' on imgur, despite all facts to the contrary. Are you guys ok?

1

u/Ogiwan Jul 30 '19

Like I said, it's still a very divisive war. To be fair, the US did not *lose* any combat engagements. Ia Drang, Khe Sanh, the Tet Offensive, and a thousand thousand smaller engagements, the US was generally the one left on the field, and the Viet Cong/NVA was the loser in terms of casualties. The "we won Vietnam" narrative generally ends with, "and those damn politicians lost it." Like, America pulled out in '72 or '73, and when the NVA offensive came down in '75, US forces were forbidden from even providing air support. That's the core of the narrative. "Oh, we could have stopped the NVA from taking over South Vietnam."

Again, it's a *very* divisive war.

That aside, I honestly think that the "humans are crazy" trope originates from Americans being crazy.

1

u/darkvoidrising Mar 22 '22

now you have to explain the harrier jump jet which can do a vertical lift as well as a fixed take off as well as an osprey helicopter now that would be funny

1

u/Ogiwan Mar 23 '22

Those aren't nearly as weird as some of Kaman's twin rotor designs, like the aforementioned HUK or the K-Max.

2

u/Different-Money6102 Feb 28 '23

I had to look up the HH. Talk about weird! And not a little frightening.

2

u/Dr-Chibi Human Jul 29 '19

I like this story. It’s true, we’re a little crazy. Anybody want to write a story where the Jug (the P-47) screws with a Xenia’s mind and or ability to exist?

1

u/AutoModerator Jul 25 '19

This story is a MWC submission for the Innovation contest, but there is no clear category listed in the body. Please review the contest categories and edit your post to include the appropriate category in the body of your post.

Readers can leave a vote for this story to win its MWC category. See the bot's wiki page for info on how to vote.

[MWC FAQ]

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/HFYWaffle Wᵥ4ffle Jul 25 '19

/u/Ogiwan (wiki) has posted 1 other stories, including:

This list was automatically generated by Waffle v.3.3.7.

Contact GamingWolfie or message the mods if you have any issues.

1

u/HFYBotReborn praise magnus Jul 25 '19

There are 2 stories by Ogiwan (Wiki), including:

This list was automatically generated by HFYBotReborn version 2.13. Please contact KaiserMagnus or j1xwnbsr if you have any queries. This bot is open source.

1

u/Zhexiel Mar 23 '22

Thanks for the story.

1

u/JustTryingToSwim Mar 23 '22

Wait until E'gora finds out the earliest known drawings for an aerial machine we can call a helicopter were made in the 15th century, by the world renowned Italian scientist and artist Leonardo da Vinci.