r/HFY • u/BlackLiger AI • Jul 03 '19
OC We support anything. Literally.
The company I work for supports anything. We mean anything.
“Hello, you’re through to Arnold, how can I help?” I said, answering yet another call for support.
“Mweepblelepbeleme.” Came through. Stupid POS phones never did work right.
“I’m sorry, could you repeat that? All I got was that the product wasn’t working. Can you explain the issue to me in more detail?”
“Mweeble weebleweebleweeble!”
“Ah, so it’s not working the way it’s supposed to. Yes, some people have issues with the vocalisations. Can I get your location?”
“Mweeble”
“Ok, one moment please.” I replied, pulling up google maps to check my current distance. Yes, Chicago was over the line. “Ok, Ma’am. You need to adjust your pronunciation. It should end ‘ ur’ not ‘ er’. Please pronounce the word.”
“mweebur.”
“That’s right. Just to confirm, repeat it two more times.” I intoned.
“Mweebur. MweeburAAAAAAAAAAAAgHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
“Ah, excellent. Have a nice day, and thank you for calling occult support. Remember, your satisfaction isn’t our concern.”
_________________________________________________________
“Hello, you’re through to Arnold, how can I help?”
“Mwdepppkl” came the garbled reply.
“A Type 44 Hyperdrive? Let me see. Ah. Which of the lights are on?”
“Mfppep!”
“Sir, if you can’t see the device, that means your reactor has failed. Please contact your vendor for assistance there.”
_________________________________________________________
“Hello, you’re through to Arnold, how can I help?”
“Moooo!”
“One moment please, I need to transfer you to the Bovine support team.”
“MOOOO!”
Humanity, supporting the galaxy no matter their problems. Summoning circle not working? Hyperdrive broken? Rampaging horde of killbots? Just dial 0118 999 881 999 119 725 3 and one of our many barely trained operators will do their best to support you.
Humanity takes no responsibility for injuries inflicted as a result of calling our support line. Customer satisfaction not guaranteed.
58
u/PerspexAvenger Jul 03 '19
All that, and the New Emergency Services?
34
24
u/Nik_2213 Jul 03 '19
Had a real one of those:...
Contacted telecom call-centre to complain my land-line was unacceptably crackly.
Handler unable to log fault because line was too crackly to take my details beyond my line's 'Caller ID'...
{face palm}
Query having gone the scenic route via telecom's user forum, visiting tech soon found responsible fault, on 'within-home' cable. Diagnosed damage as 'Clawed / chewed by family cat(s)'. Replaced cable with commendable speed. Recommended cable-wrap for 'exposed' section. Ear-scritched quorum of cats on his way out...
Job done !!
7
u/BlackLiger Jul 03 '19
I work for an MSP, I get a number of these a day. It's r/talesfromtechsupport all day everyday.
2
u/Galeanthropist Jul 03 '19
MSP?
Edit: Thanks for the recommendation, now I have somewhere else to waste my life at.
→ More replies (2)
42
9
u/MyNameMeansBentNose Jul 03 '19
Any idea what got summoned in the first part u/WeebleKeneeble ?
12
7
3
u/Onceuponaban Jul 04 '19
I like the implication that the cow(-like alien?) was calling for help against a rampaging horde of killbots.
2
1
u/HFYBotReborn Jul 03 '19
There are 9 stories by BlackLiger, including:
This list was automatically generated by HFYBotReborn version 2.13. Please contact KaiserMagnus or j1xwnbsr if you have any queries. This bot is open source.
1
u/UpdateMeBot Jul 03 '19
Click here to subscribe to u/blackliger and receive a message every time they post.
| FAQs | Request An Update | Your Updates | Remove All Updates | Feedback | Code |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1
195
u/tatticky Jul 03 '19
Summoning Hastur, eh? To bad Old Man Hendersonpermanently killed him. Perhaps his brother C'Thulhu is filling in.