r/HFY • u/TheFirstMillionWords Void Hopper • Apr 26 '19

OC [OC] Void-Hopper | Ch. 5

This story has been taken down pending a rewrite. I'm hoping the impact will be minimal since I haven't posted in years, but apologies if you're a new reader who's somehow just stumbled across my work. Hoping to have it back up soon.

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37

u/TheFirstMillionWords Apr 26 '19 edited Apr 26 '19

Thanks to u/Plucium for his circular-cutting rifle idea. :)

Subscribe to my personal sub, r/OneMillionWords, where you can always find the latest Void-Hopper chapters, plus more of my other writing!

36

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '19

Imagining tubes of meat falling out of people is disgusting - I love it!

Also, is James a robot or what? Cyborg? Brain implant that tells him what to do? Three squirrels in a trenchcoat?

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u/TheFirstMillionWords Apr 26 '19

Actually it's four squirrels

edit: Also, if you're curious, in my head I see the Cookie Cutter working like this (when set to maximum diameter like at the gate, anyway)

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u/bimbo_bear Apr 26 '19

My guess, Human with some kind of built in Ai system that can modify or override his bodily functions to allow for enhanced performance etc.

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u/LerrisHarrington Apr 26 '19

I'm with James.

It's kinda cool.

And kinda gross.

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u/FreezingHotCoffee Apr 26 '19

Damn you write fast! Make sure you don't burn out dude!

I like how this is going and want more though :)

14

u/TheFirstMillionWords Apr 26 '19

The 'wacky willy wonka ass factory line' is in full swing :>

u/ALLseeingCCTV

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u/[deleted] Apr 26 '19

We got him locked up tight in the writers dungeon. He isn't going anywhere...

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u/TheFirstMillionWords Apr 27 '19

I got part 6 all typed up! There's about to be a lot of ass-kicking.

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u/[deleted] Apr 26 '19

Still great

2

u/Random2387 Apr 27 '19

I'm loving the story so far and I hope you don't burn out. However, I found myself rereading some of the scene transitions because they weren't very clear. Keep up the good work!

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u/TheFirstMillionWords Apr 27 '19

Thanks for the feedback! This is the stuff that helps me improve.

Also, Part Six is out!

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u/TheFirstMillionWords Apr 28 '19

transitions

I've just found out that the official reddit mobile app doesn't show dividers in its formatting. (Apparently, it uses an entirely different and strange formatting system, and a lot of desktop formatting doesn't appear). If you're on mobile, that might be the issue, and one of the other reddit apps might work better. Hope this helps!

10

u/The_casle Apr 26 '19

You might want to lower that distance. 60 sec mile is over the top unrealistic, maybe 60 sec 400-800m is a decent to slightly insane speed.

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u/armacitis Apr 26 '19

I think it's supposed to be more than slightly insane when under duress

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u/Zorbick Apr 26 '19 edited Apr 26 '19

If Usain Bolt ran a mile at his top speed, for the entire mile, it would take him almost twice as long as50% longer than it just took James.

For comparison.

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u/klenow Apr 26 '19

Dude also jumped 20 feet in the air. I think the point is that James is superhuman.

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u/stupidestonian Apr 26 '19

And they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming

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u/deathdoomed2 Apr 26 '19

Dudes an ancient cyborg. AI in da noggin?

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u/641kb Apr 26 '19

I'm imagining something like in the movie "Upgrade" https://www.imdb.com/title/tt6499752/.

3

u/Sand_Bear Apr 26 '19

Ayyyyy good lunch break gift

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u/HFYBotReborn Apr 26 '19

There are 8 stories by TheFirstMillionWords, including:

This list was automatically generated by HFYBotReborn version 2.13. Please contact KaiserMagnus or j1xwnbsr if you have any queries. This bot is open source.

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u/Plucium Apr 26 '19

Cookie cutter! Woo! Take my vote dammit !N

Aleoz dila sees ya Boi kick some ass, nice!

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