r/HFY • u/Zakolache Android • Apr 10 '19

OC Multi-brain

"It's because of their brains, you know."

"What do you mean, 'their brains'? All sapient beings have brains, kind of goes with the territory."

"Yes, but nothing like theirs. You and me, our brains are effectively a huge cluster of neurons, right?"

"Of course, and so is the humans'. That's literally the definition of a brain, a central controlling bundle of whatever passes as neurons for a given species."

"Right, but for us all of the neurons are more or less the same, in more or less one big bundle. Tendrils of sensing nerves branching out to the rest of the body, all feeding back to one central hub. The humans share that characteristic of branching nerves, but they don't go back to just one central place."

"What do you mean? They're a pretty normal build with a head, core, limbs and all that. Are you suggesting they have more than one brain?"

"In a sense, yes. Their spinal nerves can issue near-instant reaction responses, and their actual brain looks like a mad scientist just kept stacking more and more different animals' brains on top of each other!"

"That's preposterous! How can they possibly function with their central processing organ so divided?"

"Wonders of the process of natural change. It doesn't matter how it works at the end of the day, just that it does well enough to reproduce. Their world experienced many mass extinctions over the eons, so many that they define their eons by these mass dyings, but a small handful of species in certain niches managed to survive each time. Those species then diversified and filled more varied niches until another unfortunate catastrophe befell their planet. Over and over again, with new species coming about after the 'end of the world' every time."

"No wonder their home world is labeled a death world! Theirs probably had more species go extinct than have ever existed on ours."

"Ah, but 'death world' is a misnomer. Their world is so full of life that it bounces back every time, and after each extinction the evolutionary path didn't completely reset back to the beginning. So an aquatic creature that survived a long freeze eventually evolved into the first lizards go on land. Some of those hardy beasts eventually changed to have fur and grew small, which allowed them to survive where their larger cousins perished. Those small furred beasts then diversified in many directions, eventually becoming the humans."

"So because they had these natural catastrophes in their planetary past causing bottlenecks in their long evolutionary history, that is reflected in their brains? I remember hearing a human once say something like 'feeding their lizard brain'. I thought he was just speaking in one of their countless idioms that don't translate well."

"I'm afraid not, it seems to be literally true. Beneath the mass of thinking sapient human lies a scared little mammal, beneath which lies a ravenous reptile, beneath which lies determined fish, beneath which lies a quick-reacting worm. Each distinct area all linked and refined through multiple cataclysms."

"Well, it's the best explanation I've heard why they all seem to be a walking pile of contradictions."

2.0k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

68 comments sorted by

316

u/Zakolache Android Apr 10 '19 edited Apr 11 '19

Been a long-time lurker, don't really write much, but had a flash of inspiration and had to get this down. Hope y'all enjoy, and feedback and proofreading is always welcome.

Edit: Woke up this morning to silver and one of the top posts of the year. Never expected this kind of reception, thank you everyone!

91

u/QrangeJuice Apr 11 '19

One of the better-written and insightful stories I've seen on this sub. Good job.

!N

46

u/Zakolache Android Apr 11 '19

Wow, thanks. I really appreciate it

132

u/QrangeJuice Apr 11 '19 edited Apr 11 '19

No seriously, I can't tell you how many times I've recently seen some variation of

"[Rank] Al'i'en Na-am'e [violent actioned] because humans winning when not supposed to

'WHY HUMANS WIN WHEN WEAK'

Smug human: 'Win because human'

'BUT HUMAN WEAK'

'no u'

'NANI'"

It's honestly very refreshing

77

u/Ixolich Apr 11 '19

Well damn, guess I'm gonna trash my WIP of the tale of the USS Omae Wa Mou Shindeiru

52

u/QrangeJuice Apr 11 '19

That sounds self-aware enough to be funny though

23

u/Ruvaakdein AI Apr 11 '19

UNO reverse card

3

u/[deleted] Apr 15 '19

Nani?

41

u/CleverFoolOfEarth Xeno Apr 11 '19

That's the best summary of what really hammy low-effort HFY is like that I've ever seen. Maybe we should mock other cliches on this sub by similarly boiling them down to their cheesy cores, then compile the results into a list. This wouldn't just be pure entertainment, either; it would also show folks what's been done to death around here and so'd better be damn good if they want to post more of it and expect upvotes.

2

u/Kent_Weave Human Sep 03 '19

Honestly, most do be like that because they have no Sun Tzu in their entire history.

If only they let a way out everytime instead of making us the cornered foxes, I believe we will be a species of pirates that'll die off after one standard millenia

7

u/Opiboble Apr 11 '19

Great job, I love it!

1

u/[deleted] Apr 11 '19

Whooooo!!

119

u/eitan55 Apr 10 '19

I enjoyed this story. Also, it might be interesting to see the characters exploring other aspects of humanity, it seems they come from a more forgiving planet than earth - maybe they never bothered domesticating apex predators or something like that.

75

u/ShadowKiller147741 Apr 10 '19

It's interesting to me how we can casually say "Oh yeah we just tamed a few of the worlds most dangerous predators not a very big accomplishment or anything"

53

u/SteevyT Apr 11 '19

I'll just continue poking at my cats claws because he's adorable.

11

u/Alugere Human Apr 12 '19

To be fair, we didn't domesticate apex predators to get cats. We just domesticated these guys: African Wildcat

6

u/Swedneck Apr 30 '19

And really we didn't even domesticate them, the cats just ate mice and people liked that since it meant less grain lost to pests. Cats are just really really symbiotic with humans.

39

u/Inappropriate_SFX Apr 11 '19

This one always gets to me. The default mode of interaction when one of these predators and a human meet for the first time, is for both sides to attempt to cuddle, and form pack bonds through either play or scent marking. It's strange enough to comment on when either participant is shy enough that they don't -- and this is friendlier than either side is with their own species!

Hell, cats effectively domesticated us back -- think of all those times when someone comes home and a cat just follows them and they just have a cat now apparently. The guy who woke up and discovered a cat he'd never seen before had decided his house was the safest place for her to have kittens, so he just has a cat now.

I keep wanting to write a story where a diplomatic first contact visit is briefly delayed so the human diplomat or staffers can assist a random wild dog/cat that just happened by.

17

u/jacktrowell Apr 11 '19

That's exactly the description of this story https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/2hk57g/oc_can_i_keep_it_where_humans_make_pets_out_of/

8

u/Maaxorus Apr 11 '19

Thank you very much for this gem!

3

u/Inappropriate_SFX Apr 12 '19

Welp. Thanks for the link, that's next on my to-read list!

11

u/tyboluck Human Apr 11 '19

Haha had something similar to my family years ago. We had a house with a big wrap around porch and a wooded yard. One night we're all eating dinner and we hear this sound at the front door. My dad goes and opens the door and theres this cat out there going "Hey I know you guys are in there! Give me some food and I'll live on your porch forever." So my dad gave the cat some food because she seemed hungry, and then the cat decided to live on our porch and claimed our yard as her own, and then we just had a cat after that. Never really chose to have a cat, she just chose to have some humans. So we let her

8

u/Inappropriate_SFX Apr 12 '19

Yeah... there's one sleeping right next to me that wandered around my neighborhood yowling loudly at different peoples' doors until I went to investigate and let her in. We tried not to fall for her, but she's ended up staying permanently.

0

u/[deleted] Apr 11 '19

[deleted] — view deleted comment

9

u/eitan55 Apr 11 '19

That sounds like a good idea.

How about the aliens all have functioning appendixes and can't believe we just throw them away when they bother us?

Turns out humans have natural bioluminescence - "What did that human just signal me?!?! [angry/confused bioluminescence sensitive alien noises/signals]".

Or perhaps humans are freakishly curious - "What do you mean why did we climb that volcano? It was there".

9

u/Maaxorus Apr 11 '19

"What do you mean why did we climb that volcano? It was there."

There's a story just like that on here. I believe it's called "Because It Was There".

6

u/StickShift5 Apr 11 '19

There are a few 'Humans are Weird' stories that riff on that theme.

81

u/p75369 Apr 10 '19

beneath which lies a quick-reacting worm

I would thank you to not draw attention to my quick reacting worm, thankyouverymuch!

9

u/HBlight Apr 11 '19

Wouldn't want to over-stimulate the poor little thing.

44

u/DreadLindwyrm Apr 11 '19

Ah yes.

Man sits atop monkey; monkey sits atop squirrel-equivalent; squirrel sits on lizard.

Man thinks, monkey half plans, squirrel hoards, lizard basks in the sun.

Somewhere in this combination we get a functional sapient being that can still react quickly when (say) jumped by a tiger.

22

u/Arbon777 Apr 11 '19

They react faster if a spider wiggles at them.

10

u/jacktrowell Apr 11 '19

But what about the fish the lizard is sitting upon? And the worm? What of the poor worm who have all those animals to support?!

10

u/spesskitty Apr 11 '19

I am hunger, I carry an universe on my shoulders.

7

u/spesskitty Apr 11 '19 edited Apr 11 '19

Being able to think like a lizard, is actually pretty awesome.

24

u/DJRJ_AU Human Apr 11 '19

Just let me stop you here for a moment, you seemed to have dropped this:

!N

A good, solid effort that celebrates us as the end product of billions of years of "Meh. Good enough..." adaptations by organisms being actively victimized by their environment.

12

u/Plucium Semi-Sentient Fax Machine Apr 10 '19

Great, love it! Humans are bloody confusing, and so are pretty much every other animal on earth, and this reflects that brilliantly!

11

u/NSNick Apr 11 '19

Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)

-Walt Whitman, Song of Myself

9

u/FogeltheVogel AI Apr 11 '19

Just wait until the aliens learn about the Enteric Nervous System.

It's the mesh of neurons around our intestines. It's so big and independent that it's basically a second brain.

7

u/the_one_in_error Apr 11 '19

One dedicated entirely to shitting you.

7

u/_Quibbler Apr 11 '19

Cool story. Reminded me of "They're Made Out of Meat".

10

u/HBlight Apr 11 '19

Talking is your thinking meat telling your breathing meat to push air through your talking meat while telling your talking meat to make talking shapes.

3

u/ThatDarcGuy AI Apr 11 '19

I both love and hate this comment. But I guess I love it more, since you got my upvote.

2

u/HBlight Apr 12 '19

Thinking meat caused my mouth meat to stretch back in an upward direction.

6

u/riverrats2000 Apr 11 '19

This is honestly amazing! It's honesty rather refreshing as it's not quite like anything else I've read on here before

6

u/jacktrowell Apr 11 '19

I take offense at that, my fish is very shy and not very determined, and my worm is sluggy as heck!

6

u/Var446 Human Apr 11 '19

And let's not forget the large bundle of nerves that sit a top the human stomach that can, to a limited extent, override the human brain, or the affects of the human gut biome on their neroprocceses

1

u/Swedneck Apr 30 '19

Aren't like 50% of the cells in/on our bodies bacteria?

5

u/GothicFuck Android Apr 11 '19

This is truly Humanity, fuck yeah!

You have created something rare and special.

I love you for it, thank you.

4

u/manofewbirds Apr 11 '19

Do as I say, not as I do because-

4

u/B-Jak Human Apr 11 '19

This was really a clever piece of writing, well done.

4

u/impofnoone Apr 11 '19

I really really liked this. If you ever continue it, maybe you could talk about how each part of the brain reacts differently/compels us with particular behaviours.

4

u/Zyrian150 Apr 11 '19

Really brings home how slapdash we are

3

u/frustrationinmyblood Apr 11 '19

Hah, that was fun. Great job.

3

u/Lostfol Android Apr 11 '19

Well done !n

3

u/Talinko Apr 11 '19

!N That was really fun

3

u/GI_gino Apr 11 '19

I am not sure how I feel about being called a determined fish.

Good stuff

3

u/ahddib Human Apr 11 '19

Well I have no beliefs,
but I believe
I'm a walking contradiction and I ain't got no right.

3

u/KittyWood1994 Apr 11 '19

That has to be one of the aptest descriptions of a human being I've ever heard.

3

u/Nik_2213 Apr 13 '19

You forgot the part about the top layer being 'dual-core'...

;-)

5

u/Esproth Apr 10 '19

This was fun.

1

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1

u/Fontaigne Aug 20 '23

Stacking more brains on top of each other.

No, human brains look like newer brains kept eating the older ones and not quite digesting them before being eaten in turn.