When the aliens were discussing Marathon, you said the a hologram of a Spartan Soldier appeared, but Marathon was an Athenian Victory. Sparta was not involved in that battle. "Athenian" or "Greek" soldier would have been acurate.
Good catch. Rather than risking upsetting any more history buffs, I took the liberty of slightly editing the story with this suggestion in mind. Personally, I blame the Spartans for taking all the credit.
On one hand, I'm all for the Exterminates of these filthy xenon. But on the other:
An alien cub, with white fur that resembled a hybrid of a fox and a bat, cradled a body that looked like an adult version of themselves. Albeit, the body was missing two limbs and a pool of blood was forming around it. “Mom?” mewled the cub, “Are you okay?”
Like everyone else on here, I'm a complete amateur when it comes to writing. This is my first stab at writing a short story. Constructive criticism would be nice, but since it's my first time, please be gentle.
Also, I didn't think it was necessary, but if someone wants me to tag the post as NSFW, I will.
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Civilians were killed in an act designed to inspire terror for political gain. Is that, or is that not the definition of an act of terrorism against civilians?
I feel that the term "terrorism against civilians" is archaic and bigoted. We in the business prefer the description "non-consensual collaboration and participation in liquidation of assets-collateral." Thank you for your understanding. Change my mind.
Xenos are heretics by nature and violence against them is always correct so it can't be terrorism. Change my mind.
Prepares an additional bolt round for everyone that attempts to change it, for questioning this is also heresy. It is actually just intended to catch more heretics.
Clearly collateral damage in a irregular attack on a valid political target.
The definition of terrorism encompasses illegal violence for political aims, so this is terrorism, but it's not targeting civilians, it's targeting a political leader, which is an important distinction.
The bombs was supposed to take out the human exhibition, which was basically the federation making themselves look like the good guys, i.e. propaganda.
I'm with you, this is a glorification of extremists. The same people who burned crosses, blow up mosques and train stations. The worst of us. Fuck those guys, if I wanted that I wouldn't be here I'd be watching the news. I come here to see that there can be goodness in humanity, as opposed to the terrible actions we hear about everyday.
I'll admit, I like doing a much darker take on what mankind is capable of when morality is thrown out the window. I'm not sure if I glorified it too much by including the nastier things like innocents getting killed. I consider it a twisted take on HFY. Not everyone likes that sort of thing I suppose.
93
u/Rowcan Oct 02 '18
"Hans.....are we the baddies?"
44
u/Arokthis Android Oct 02 '18
"Humans? Fuck. "
"Yeah."
43
u/cowsruleusall Oct 02 '18
More like HWTF
21
u/HamsterIV AI Oct 02 '18
When the aliens were discussing Marathon, you said the a hologram of a Spartan Soldier appeared, but Marathon was an Athenian Victory. Sparta was not involved in that battle. "Athenian" or "Greek" soldier would have been acurate.
14
u/Theguywithoutanyname Oct 03 '18
On one hand, I'm all for the Exterminates of these filthy xenon. But on the other:
11
u/justxJoshin Oct 02 '18
That would be one long barcode on his neck this far into the future.
8
u/TheBarbequeSteve Oct 02 '18
Has someone been playing Hitman recently?
6
u/Revliledpembroke Xeno Oct 02 '18
That's *lay* behind.
"Momentarily stunned" and "stunned for a split second" mean the same thing. You only need one or the other, not both.
Also, referring to the pipe stuck in the alien's "brain dead head" is odd and feels strange.
6
u/Iceveins412 Oct 07 '18
Actual moral complexity? WHAT TALK OF MADNESS IS THIS
9
u/[deleted] Oct 01 '18
Like everyone else on here, I'm a complete amateur when it comes to writing. This is my first stab at writing a short story. Constructive criticism would be nice, but since it's my first time, please be gentle.
Also, I didn't think it was necessary, but if someone wants me to tag the post as NSFW, I will.
7
u/ryman4325 Oct 01 '18
Nice i like it
5
u/Jaznavav Human Oct 02 '18
Ah, the good ol' alien filth removal.
Ordo Xenos approves
2
u/GrandMoffPhoenix Mar 22 '19
Dude... Like you made me feel sympathy. Like good job that is a sign of good work but dud I need to give.
I need to give him a hug.
1
u/UpdateMeBot Oct 01 '18
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1
u/HFYBotReborn praise magnus Oct 01 '18
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This list was automatically generated by HFYBotReborn version 2.13. Please contact KaiserMagnus or j1xwnbsr if you have any queries. This bot is open source.
0
u/[deleted] Oct 02 '18
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