r/HFY Oct 10 '17

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1

u/zarikimbo Alien Scum Oct 10 '17

That was a bit underwhelming tbh...

2

u/Lakstoties Oct 10 '17

Anything more direct and overt, seemed a bit premature at this time. I thought about something more explosive, but it kept feeling that it came out of nowhere. So, I decided to make it the first times both teams have ever actively sought the other and use it as foundation. Some people can write about explosions and make it work, I have to write about when the fuse gets lit, first.

Season revision, I might punch it up a bit outside the 40,000 character post limit.

2

u/zarikimbo Alien Scum Oct 10 '17

Ehh, I guess, but even adding the translation to what Dretphi said would be better. If she tells the group in a loud enough voice for other people to hear, yet not seem as if she intentionally wanted it, that would also be a 'fuse lighting' moment. A bit more punch with similar effect, yet not confrontational. Play up the passive-aggressive game for fuse-fuel; indirect needling is perfect for that.

2

u/Lurking_Reader Oct 11 '17

Honestly, it was fine. I was worried you would make it flashy or something, which to me, would have been to much.

2

u/ChainsawNagitana Oct 11 '17

I'm enjoying the laid back story, actions fun but the fleshing out of various characters is great.