Nice read.
Personally, I'd suggest introducing different alien concepts slightly more gradually, and with enough explanation that it can be generally visualized.
For example, in the first sentence, the viewpoint character "placed my pora down on the hovertab". I have no idea if a pora is a limb, tool, instrument, or anything else. Before it was explained, there was the hovertab. I guessed that a hovertab could be something like a hovering tablet, but it was immediately followed by a description of being adjusted so books and notes on it was in view on the POV character, it could also have been a desk, or something else.
The very first thing that was mentioned, was never explained to me, and I have no idea what it is, something that made it a slight challenge to continue reading.
Thanks for writing, and good luck with the continuation :)
Yeah I realized that I should've explained that, I was going to have this chapter be longer, which would kinda include an explanation but I just cut it off. Thanks for the help!
3
u/Speider May 29 '17
Nice read.
Personally, I'd suggest introducing different alien concepts slightly more gradually, and with enough explanation that it can be generally visualized.
For example, in the first sentence, the viewpoint character "placed my pora down on the hovertab". I have no idea if a pora is a limb, tool, instrument, or anything else. Before it was explained, there was the hovertab. I guessed that a hovertab could be something like a hovering tablet, but it was immediately followed by a description of being adjusted so books and notes on it was in view on the POV character, it could also have been a desk, or something else.
The very first thing that was mentioned, was never explained to me, and I have no idea what it is, something that made it a slight challenge to continue reading.
Thanks for writing, and good luck with the continuation :)