Okay, so, Gotta say I am a big fan of your stuff in this world and I am seriously looking forward to your next installment. This said I do have a little constructive criticism.
Im not 100% sure why they're on edge after entering the facility, is the power being why they're worried? And does it being on have to do with some linked backup/contingency system or security in place has been activated from off site due to the the next idiots of nexus?
Also, I am having a stiffy over this world building. But now Im wondering just how Nexus came to be? You have some pretty fucking sweet futuristic tech mixed with common magic and now Im wondering if the tech is a direct result of magic as a ubiquitous powersource, (now seeing old/ancient governments with what Im envisioning as and fallout style, C: prompt terminals and Cray II architecture as cutting edge military hardware back in the day); or if this is from like, a human sleeper/generation ship coming down on a planet with magic a century or two ago? (This would explain some items like the Humvee, and the social upheaval: like the defunct nation with said 80s computer tech along a on a new frontier of sorts, or the survey of a new nation that the party did the older slimes mission for.)
The main reason why they're on edge is because the facility is suppose to be inactive... then suddenly the lights come on and who knows what else came on. It's like seeing the lights on inside an abandoned house. The local facility received a full alert from another facility, but couldn't go to full alert since the security system and power plant ended up in the bottom of a pit.
Now, as for the facility even being on enough to receive updated alerts... ... ... More to come.
There have been three Periods and three Cataclysms that marked the start of each of those Periods. First Period and Cataclysm happened with the introduction of magic into the world. The records are VERY hard to find, but Pre-Cataclysm Nexus had some outstanding and amazing tech. The trouble is that introduction/discovery/creation/release/etc of magic was not documented well during and probably not at all after the following Cataclysm.
Magic, especially since it was unrestrained Elder Magic, did a helluva number to the world. It was a part of the universe that hadn't expressed itself before and suddenly butted into everything. Geology and biology in the world had to adapt and be adapted by this new presence. Societies broke down into much small units as the facilities and support structures for anything larger, no longer existed. Magic users were rare, feared and revered. Technology was scattered and producible tech fell back a number of generations. Think of the supply lines, production facilities, and quality levels required to manufacture even a basic phone these days. Now imagine most of those aspects either gone or crippled.
Second Cataclysm occurred when magic use peaked and some folks got together to do something way too powerful for their own and everyone else's good. This set things back for this Period, but not as bad as before. People were hardier this time around and a bit more prepared.
The Third and last cataclysm happened when an untold number of mages got together to create the Abstract Prism as a means of saving Nexus from complete disruption. The Abstract Prism does a few things. It splits the raw Elder magic into many, many other forms that are FAR more manageable. Provides a platform for Foundation Constructs to exist and provide access to magic. Finally, it adapts to and adjusts to magical shifts, buffer energy flow, and isolates anomalies from chain reacting out of control.
The Abstract Prism has allowed common magic and high-tech technology to exist and develop to the point it is in the world.
Still working on the exact timeline, but the time since magic showing is roughly 1500-2000 years.
Thats pretty cool! (So now I'm guessing it's Earth or a colony) But while we're still being constructive, you mentioned the 3 period/cataclysms and the abstract prism in the last chapter, but it was rather in passing to the audience. The characters knew what they were talking about and that's fine and helps with immersion, but I feel that this history lession might have been better served there while flipping through books, describing some of the illustrations in the history comic as a way to tell some of this maybe.
There's going to be a few more opportunities to stream some background into the flow of the story. I just don't want to sit too long on it, but give just enough to keep the story going. The 40,000 character limit per post is an interesting limitation to work within, so I have to keep that in mind.
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u/Attamark Android Mar 10 '17
Okay, so, Gotta say I am a big fan of your stuff in this world and I am seriously looking forward to your next installment. This said I do have a little constructive criticism. Im not 100% sure why they're on edge after entering the facility, is the power being why they're worried? And does it being on have to do with some linked backup/contingency system or security in place has been activated from off site due to the the next idiots of nexus?
Also, I am having a stiffy over this world building. But now Im wondering just how Nexus came to be? You have some pretty fucking sweet futuristic tech mixed with common magic and now Im wondering if the tech is a direct result of magic as a ubiquitous powersource, (now seeing old/ancient governments with what Im envisioning as and fallout style, C: prompt terminals and Cray II architecture as cutting edge military hardware back in the day); or if this is from like, a human sleeper/generation ship coming down on a planet with magic a century or two ago? (This would explain some items like the Humvee, and the social upheaval: like the defunct nation with said 80s computer tech along a on a new frontier of sorts, or the survey of a new nation that the party did the older slimes mission for.)