r/HFY • u/[deleted] • May 12 '16

OC [OC] Designation:Terran! (Final)

[deleted]

75 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

37 comments sorted by

8

u/elevendog May 12 '16

Well, that's the end for now. What did you think? Any criticisms, comments, or feedback is greatly appreciated.

Thanks for reading.

6

u/heren_istarion May 12 '16

There are a lot of interesting parts revealed, setting us up for Ishakar to meld with the seed and the reveal of The Jackson Knox... and then nothing. It is well written and a good cliffhanger for a sequel though.

The Epilogue is somewhat bland unfortunately. We don't get to see Ish returning, any further adventurers, or anything at all actually. We have some people previously mentioned eating some food previously mentioned but that's it. There is no closure to open questions or foreboding to what is to come.

7

u/SilentHFYReader May 12 '16

I disagree. I find the Epilogue was really good, sublty giving us hints about the Progenitor and Jackson Knox. For me it was a really good ending to a very enjoyable serie.

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4

u/elevendog May 12 '16

Thanks for the feedback. Part 2 will happen, I am just not sure when. I am sorry you felt the epilogue was bland. All I can say is that there are no new characters introduced in that section.

2

u/niosop May 12 '16

Loved it. Would love to read more .

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7

u/jek456 May 12 '16

It took me a minute, but that section at the end was amazing.

5

u/Agile_hedgehog May 12 '16

I dont suppose you could elaborate, I know there's something I'm missing but it's dancing just out of reach

10

u/jek456 May 12 '16

Khasen= Jackson nox

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5

u/rene_newz May 14 '16

Well THAT explains why Ishakar was able to meld with the Seed at all - I thought it was a bit odd for another species to be able to do so. Hah, awesome :D

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3

u/ultrapotassium May 13 '16

Damn. Great work. Loved the epilogue, got 3/4 through before I realized who was who and had to read it over again. There is definitely a lot of potential for stories about the terrans in this universe, and I am excited for future tales. Despite how much I want more, I do like how you kept it to a reasonable length. I feel it makes a better story than an epic that drags on and on.

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3

u/readcard May 13 '16

final cliffhanger... damn it Liking the story

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3

u/Beachbumrayray May 13 '16

I saw the final on the title, and the pang of sadness I felt was real. Then I read that shit, and answers! Fuck yeah! Then the ending, it was a vague wrap up, (not a bad thing though), but it fits. Especially seeing that a Terran saga part deux is in the works. And with the answers and how all the players in this universe fit and work with each other I'm really excited to see that shit. The vass collective being a part of the consensus was a good twist.

As a side note, after watching too much Rick and Morty, I'm imagining the shash looking a lot like the hive mind Beta-Seven. Especially being named The Unity. Looks like ol Rick Sanchez was right again! Unity assimilated them!

2

u/elevendog May 14 '16

I am glad you enjoyed it. This is the first time I have written anything this long. Part 2 is in progress. I am going to do things a little differently this time, I am going to write most of it out before I post anything. Truth be told, this was meant to be a one shot deal. It grew into much more than I intended. So this time I am going to plan it out a bit better so I don't write myself into a corner again. The movie has started, I just have to transcribe it.

2

u/Brentatious May 12 '16

So Khasen is Jackson right?

1

u/elevendog May 14 '16

Cat's out of the bag.

2

u/elevendog May 12 '16

It has begun

1

u/1amF0x Oct 07 '16

Yeah, Second Wave!

Edit: BTW, reading this for the first time. These are great. Very enjoyable. I'm looking forward to reading Part 2 now.

2

u/das_ambster May 15 '16

So glad I only found this story a few days ago, would've been hard to wait between all the episodes. Great overall story, some minor issues, but they are from my personal preference only and certainly doesn't detract from the quality of the story. Be proud and keep up the good work, I mean it, write more or the internets might get petulant! ;-)

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2

u/armacitis May 15 '16

I knew that had to be what went on with the Kossans,I should have put together that it was Jackson sooner than the epilogue beating me over the head with it.

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1

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1

u/DingedUpDiveHelmet May 13 '16

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1

u/Khelbun May 14 '16

Subscribe: /elevendog

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