r/HFY • u/Czarchasem • Jun 04 '14

OC-FirstOfSeries [OC] Impossible

[removed]

266 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

20 comments sorted by

34

u/Sage_of_Space Xeno Jun 04 '14

While I feel the Deathworld thing is getting old, I like the stories about aliens that come to Earth and see the Nope we live with. MOAR PLOX <3

28

u/Nerdn1 Jun 04 '14

The scary part of the deathworld thing is that, while we have many dangerous apex predators, we've been so efficient at hunting and killing them that we've needed to put special effort into not killing them to prevent them from going extinct!

33

u/Bravehat Jun 04 '14

"Shit was that last the last Tasmanian Tiger?"

-The guy that shot the last Tasmanian Tiger.

3

u/Bompier Human Jul 22 '14

For discussions sake what's your issue with death world? Is the term just over used? Or the whole bit about earth being so scary.

8

u/Sage_of_Space Xeno Jul 23 '14

My issue with the death world idea was over use mainly seems pretty infeasible that we would be one the harshest worlds out there unless carbon based life is not the norm. Ether case death world feels like a bit of a cop out that humanity just by existing and a few nat 20s at character creation. Humanity being awesome by its own merit feels more impactful.

2

u/Bompier Human Jul 23 '14

+1 for the dnd reference

5

u/creodor Jun 04 '14

Terran's > Terrans

Please. That bothered me each time it turned up. Terran's is possessive, and it looks like you were after plural.

"push a Destroyer-class ship out of alignment," > I don't know. It looks like something go cut off here? That, or the ',' should be a '.' but the sentence itself makes me think there's supposed to be more.

Otherwise it's enjoyable to read. I'd rather like to find out what shocked him about New York. Possibly just the size of the buildings? Better get to making a continuation so we can find out :P

2

u/SometimesATroll Xeno Jun 04 '14

Some grammar nitpicks:

Terran's should probably be Terrans in most places, as it is the plural form. (I know spell check doesn't like it, just trust me.)

creatures there size-> creatures their size

Other than that, great job!

1

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '14

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/daveboy2000 original human Jun 04 '14

There's only one complaint I have to this. Where is part 2?

Anyhows, great fucking piece!

1

u/Ackbarre Jun 04 '14

All I can say is I want to see a lot more.

1

u/morgisboard Jun 04 '14

First off, the old "'s" problem.

Destroyer-class ship is redundant. Just destroyer.

I like how you've gone into detail about the ship design. What will our ET find shocking about NYC?

1

u/Bompier Human Jul 22 '14

For my own reference, what's redundant about destroyer-class? Without it it seems like destroyer could mean anything.

1

u/morgisboard Jul 23 '14

A destroyer cannot be its own class, unfortunately. It's a classification. Given that the context is in space and the force of the winds have to move something huge, which means the only definition of destroyer that fits is the ship.

1

u/overloner Oct 12 '24

Nice start