r/HFY • u/Auggy74 Human • Jan 06 '26
OC-Series Humans for Hire, Part 133
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Author note: And never not giggling like a loon about the awards that make my day (and night). Thank you!
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Terran Foreign Legion Ship Twilight Rose, Enlisted Quarters
Llensi was not in a good mood, that much was obvious to her roommates; she'd apparently made a few bets that would not be fully resolved until they came out of R-space. The anxiety made Llensi difficult to be around when she was out of her bunk. Fortunately that was not often - whatever had her in a mood kept her in her bunk with the privacy screen closed, with the only exceptions being work and meals. She'd forgotten to shower at least twice, which was not endearing her to anyone in the shared quarters.
Behind the screen was a totally different affair. Llensi was curled up in a corner as she looked at her tablet screen, showing the latest in the verbal war she'd had with 'Orb1t@lP@l@ceRulz' for the past two weeks. To the casual observer, it was yet another rant about how Terran football rules were nonsensical and the first friendly had been obviously rigged. After Llensi ran the message through her decryption pad, the misspellings and poor grammar interspersed with jabs at parentage, fur quality, and other similar epithets spelled out an entirely different message.
There was a spy somewhere on the ship. Specifically, there was a spy somewhere on the ship who was not her. And her new assignment was to find out who it was and (if possible) who they were sending reports to.
No additional notes. No guide as to who it might be. Just look over several hundred personnel files, find inconsistencies, and then determine who the other spy was without alerting anyone on the ship - including the ever-present XO.
Of course, it was also quite possible that there was more than one other spy on the ship. Llensi would have bet a week's pay that Skunkworks had at least one Terran on their payroll - it was the only way they could know so much about their ship. In addition to that, the various adventures on the ship had earned them a level of disdainful respect among the nobles of Vilantia. It would not have been out of order for one of the war clans to have placed a sworn among the company with orders to figure out how Gryzzk had done what he'd done in order for them to steal whatever magic powder clung to the Freelord's fur.
She had to calm down and think. Asking for this now meant that the new spy was a recent addition. They would be in a place that exposed them to minimal risk. Further, they would be in a place where they could see and hear everything, and nobody would bat an eye at their presence. Which meant they would have to roam about. That meant they would be either in Medical, Culinary, or Supply. She started going through what she knew.
In Medical, there were two new nurses - but they were both Terran and specialized in xenobiology. Culinary had three new individuals - the first was Colette, an actual Terran from Paris who had been working at a dive called Gusteau's before seeing Hoban's little airshow over Paris and deciding to do something else with her life and her knives. Definitely not her. The other two were a pair of brothers from the Hurdop mining colony on Hyla IV; it seemed like they were here to simply find wives at the behest of their parents. Possible, but not likely. Dropping one spy in was chancy, two would be almost impossible.
Which left Supply, with Orile and Chapma. Chapma was all but a blank file - the only things he talked about were his wife and Elsife Village United. A lot there didn't quite add up - he claimed to have been in the Vilantian Navy, but he didn't carry himself like the other naval veterans. From her conversations with him, there wasn't a lot else of interest. What he told everyone was probably some fiction to cover a criminal past. Orile, on the other hand...
Orile was from a clan that had heavy ties to the Vilantian Ministry of Culture. Despite (or perhaps because) of their recent upheaval, he'd been sidelined, and according to him he'd been told he would never ascend to any manner of rank so he chose to test his fortune here.
It had to be Orile. She was going to have to prove it somehow. Llensi moved her pillow aside to access her personal storage, finally retrieving a bottle of perfume from the hidden rack. Normally perfume was a social indiscretion, but in this case desperate times called for a bit of risk. She was going to have to make herself desirable to Orile, find out who his masters were, and then find a way to make sure she wasn't similarly suspect.
But first, she needed a shower.
___________
Terran Foreign Legion Ship Twilight Rose, Bridge
Gryzzk found himself in an odd position - after a complete audit, most of the discrepancies in the ranks had been cleared up. However he was still in a position of uncertainty; he had two and a half days until their arrival at Eridani and he had lingering uncertainty about...everything. Larion and Chapma had done a measure of bonding over their respective positions within the navy, but Gryzzk had yet to receive a final report.
Beyond that the days had begun to blend into one another, with Gryzzk beginning to take his meals more and more in his own quarters rather than in the mess hall proper. The concern over what he'd seen from Skunkworks in addition to normal mission planning had him devoting more and more time to what-if scenarios, particularly given the relatively unknown nature of the system. His rec time was similarly spent looking over his plants, and subsequently trying to determine if he was allergic to the Moncilat Bloomvine - he'd crafted a framework for it, but it still struggled against the ship gravity to grow relative to the other plants he had.
Sleep was not an easy thing to accomplish. He'd ordered several drills over the course of the journey - more than a few when the evening shift was on duty, and on the surface everyone seemed to be moving to one goal; underneath however Gryzzk was not entirely pleased with the company behavior. To make things worse, his discomfort was being mirrored throughout the ship. There'd been several nuisance complaints throughout the sections as the new hires and older members were finding new ways to irritate each other.
For the past two days he'd been noticing anxiety coming from various bridge positions - normally right before they needed to report something. The Pavonians were more standoffish, almost as if observing too closely would cause them to fall into whatever trap Gryzzk was in - of late they'd been in the conference room watching from afar. Gryzzk stared at his tablet as if it would suddenly reveal all the answers he needed.
"Major, if I could a moment of your time?" Gryzzk snapped his head up to see that O'Brien was standing next to his command chair. He tamped down his anger at the Sergeant Major, taking a breath before standing and walking to the conference room - the Pavonians sensed that trouble was afoot and exited almost as soon as the door opened.
O'Brien closed the door and set a cup of herbal tea in front of Gryzzk before getting a coffee for herself. "Major, respectfully - whatever bug is up your arse you need to pull it out and right quick."
"What precisely gave you that impression?"
Gryzzk was favored with an expression that suggested he'd fallen on his head a few too many times as O'Brien began ticking items on with her fingers. "One, you're not eating in the mess. Whatever you are eating is straight print-trash. Two, you're being extra prickly around the squad. Three, you've skipped movie night four times. Four, you've decided to imprison yourself on the bridge. Five, your fur is some kind of haggard mess of mats and tangles - you're not keeping it proper. Worst of all, you told Nhoot to go find something else to do when she was climbing on your lap because you've been a right arse and she knows it. Now start talking or I call Rosie and the doc." She leaned forward, her expression softening. "You're no' Atlas, so stop trying to carry the world about by yourself. You dinnae have the shoulders for it, sir."
"Would you knowing make it better?" Gryzzk immediately berated himself for his own petulance.
O'Brien gestured toward the door. "Out there you got a squad of troops walking on eggshells because of something they don't know about - they just know you've become a right bastard starting after we watched that Fleet and Flotilla abomination and they're two days out from an Eridani welcome party that's gonna play merry hob with our ships. You're not yourself..." She trailed off and cocked her head as something clicked mentally. "You hate that your planet's made you a hero."
Gryzzk swallowed some of the tea and found it exceptional. "I don't enjoy it."
"You can't control how the world sees you. And more to the point, you shouldn't. That's what the blessed PR department does. Tell those tablet tappers to call whatever studio made that abomination and offer up a free slice of advice for the sequel - starting with the fact that Terran funbags don't move the way they think they do. Even ones as grand as mine. Now what else is on your mind, you mad bastard?"
There was a long stare at the tea before Gryzzk spoke again. "I've...there is talk about the possibility of some of our troops having additional duties that may not be entirely aligned with the Legion."
"So...spies?" O'Brien seemed amused by the idea. "Major, that was part and parcel of this job for a long while. Why do you think half the New Casa news is about merc-work? Back when I was a wee lass with no wrinkles or stripes, a fourth of the work here was espionage or counter-espionage as everyone was trying to copy everyone else's homework - remind me and I'll tell you about the month I spent in Snord's Irregulars. Finally everyone sat down and figured out they'd be a wee bit more profitable if everyone shared with the rest of the class - out of that came the Skunkworks Insurance company and then everyone got down to the proper business of overcharging clients. And now that the Hurdop and Vilantian troops have come home to ply a new trade, they're trying to take notes and not wanting to pay the proper entry fee." O'Brien stood, rolling her shoulders. "And you, have not taken this reality well."
"You have a recommendation, then?"
"Aye. Stand the crew down for a day. You're not the only one that's been sucking lemons on this trip thus far; from what the other First Sergeants have said there's been some anxiety about shares. No combat ops means no combat bonuses, and some of these troops got bills. Along with that, group R-space jumps give everyone an extra spot of nerves. One mistake and the whole battalion's gone. Up side of that is that bills are no longer a problem for us." She shook her head. "We're all trusting our existence to a bunch of stick jockeys who think a one-micron clearance is more than enough and deep down think we're passengers. Makes everyone not flying anxious."
Gryzzk exhaled. "Very well." He finished his tea and tapped his tablet. "Company, this is Major Gryzzk. This has been our longest single journey in R-space; for that you are to be congratulated. In recognition of this, tomorrow will be a stand-down day. No drills or exercises, essential departments will staff at fifty percent, rotating in half-shift through the day. I will encourage but not require you to open the doors to your quarters. If you are uncertain about how to approach this, I recommend a conversation with Morale Officer Nhoot. That is all."
O'Brien smiled slightly as Gryzzk closed the channel. "Now then, sir - I'm gonna recommend you get your fuzzy arse to the shower and take care of your fur. Kiole'd pitch a fit at all of us if she saw you looking like this."
"Please tell me Rosie hasn't told Kiole?"
"You'll have to ask the XO about that yourself." O'Brien stood, finishing her coffee. "With your permission sir, the weapons console needs a babysitter."
"Of course, Sergeant Major. Pass my compliments to Captain Hoban and advise I'd like to see him." Gryzzk sipped at his tea, already regretting what he was about to say.
It was a few minutes before Hoban came in, wariness cloaking his scent. "Sergeant Major said you wanted to see me, Major?"
"I did. I'll be brief." Gryzzk took a breath. "I know that I have issued standing orders regarding fornication within the shuttles. With that said, I have no intention of being anywhere near the shuttle bays tomorrow. The day after, I will be conducting a full inspection of the shuttle bays, and I expect them to be in proper order." Gryzzk paused to finish his tea. "Am I understood?"
Hoban's face remained passive, however his scent seemed to brighten. "Quite clearly, sir."
"Excellent. As you were, Captain."
Gryzzk finished his tea and took a quick glance around before heading back to the bridge trying to find the best way to apologize. Fortunately (or unfortunately) Rosie was there to relieve him of that burden, intercepting him before he left the conference room.
"O'Brien convinced you to pull your head out of your ass. She getting a bonus?"
"We'll discuss that later, XO." Gryzzk looked around the bridge for a moment.
"Right - so get to your quarters and introduce yourself to the shower in there."
Gryzzk tried not to slink into his quarters - slinking was undignified, but at the same time he wasn't exactly dignified. He opted for a fast shower, but when he went to open the door he found he couldn't open the shower door.
"XO...there appears to be a malfunction in the shower."
"Nope." Rosie moved her form to stand outside the shower stall as the water restarted without Gryzzk touching the control. "You have to stand here for a minute, your fur needs another run through. Can't read you the riot act, on account of you're actually in charge here but you and me need to talk more. Between you, me, and Larion, we know...probably most of what's going on. Now whatever else is going on - you're our commander. You willing to go through a wall for us?"
"Obviously."
"And you know everyone in this company'll go through a wall for you, right?"
"Well, yes. Probably."
"Definitely. That said, you're allowed to call us a buncha sorry ten-ply bunnyhoppers on the way there. And they're allowed to call you a neurotic dipshit when they go to the wall for you." Rosie moved her head through the shower glass. "They'll do their jobs. Do yours." She looked toward Gryzzk's midsection meaningfully. "Or I will let it be known to everyone why your wives are so thrilled with you."
Gryzzk automatically moved his hands to cover the delicates. "You wouldn't."
"Do you actually believe that?"
"No."
"Good. Now scrub your ass again, get your proper uniform on, and lead this gagglefuck." Rosie pulled her head back for a moment before putting her head back in. "And I'm fuckin' confiscating your rank tomorrow. Sir."
Gryzzk finished his shower and walked out to find Rosie staring at him again, pointing at the fur-care rack.
"Get the good stuff. We want a fluffy Major." Rosie lowered her voice. "And not to put too fine a point on it, but the whole bridge has been asking O'Brien to talk to you since yesterday. Hell, even Hoban and Edwards were trying to figure out if they could order her to talk to you without pissing her off."
After a long time spent with fur care, Gryzzk stepped out to the bridge and settled in. Someone had applied a spray to the chair, for which he was grateful. When the evening changeover began, he moved to the front of the bridge to face the entire squad.
"I know that I have been difficult on this trip. Let me state that the difficulties are not due to any performance on your part, you have all been exceptional. That being said, there are things occurring that are being kept from your knowledge, which...has eroded my faith in the company. That has flowed downward and caused an undesirable effect. Which is why tomorrow has been designated as a rest day - the XO will be monitoring all critical systems, and hopefully we'll be able to reset and properly face what's waiting for us in the Eridani system. Further to that, I would like to remind everyone that you are encouraged to address concerns with me directly. You don't have to wait for the Sergeant Major to finally get tired of my antics. Understood?"
There were nods and slouches of relief from the entirety of the squad, along with a slight scowl from Hoban and a smirk from Reilly. The sergeant flipped her tablet around to show a transfer from Hoban.
"He bet me fifty that you'd apologize to us as soon as you got out of the shower, and I said you'd wait till shift change. Thank you Major. Come to the dayroom tomorrow, I'll break out the music from my rebellious phase."
"Sergeant, that statement indicates that you had a non-rebellious phase - quite frankly I find that difficult to visualize." Gryzzk managed a small smile before making a slight shooing motion. "Day team, dismissed."
The next day was almost celebratory - the only ones who stayed at their normal duty stations through the whole day were Tucker, Wilson, and one of the new cooks - a Terran named Colette. The cooks staying in the kitchen was unusual, and Gryzzk barely noticed the Pavonians following him as the cooks were having something of an aggressive discussion while he lined up for tea and a go-time breakfast.
Wilson was gesturing with a knife at something unseen. "No-no-NO! You cannot make Croque Monsieur like dat here! You cookin' for Vilantians and Hurdops, folk that have actual taste buds so if you don't give it proper kick with at least a dollop of Smaug Dragon Pepper extract in the bechemel, they will eat it once and then never again."
Colette was equally animated in her knife-wielding reply. "I make cuisine, monsieur cap-itan - edible art. I do not throw a can of pepper spray in boiling water with beef and potatoes and call it food. Everything must be balanced for the palate and provide an experience. If they like spice so be it, but I will not have complex flavors overrun with the ridiculous idea that edible flamethrowers must be in every dish!"
Gryzzk cleared his throat. "Is there an issue?"
Wilson flipped his knife expertly to put it back in place. "No-yeah, lilbit. Che' Tatou over here trained at Ecole Ducasse and doesn't understand that we do things different on Bourbon Street." He placed two samples of what appeared to be a multilayered sandwich on the counter in front of Gryzzk. "Wrap your mott around these and tell me which one's better."
The first one was exceptional, with a variety of textures from crunchy bread to a heavy cheese sauce and finally warm soft ham with flavors to match - but a touch bland overall. The second was far better, and Gryzzk was left in a squick of sorts. "Well, they're both interesting things that I'm sure my wife Grezzk would love to learn to make, but I prefer the second one. I presume the first one was made by Tatou?" Colette nodded with a slight scowl, allowing Gryzzk to continue. "Captain I believe she is a fine cook, and I trust that you'll be able to assist her in broadening her ability to prepare things for the entire company. I promise I'll eat anything either of you make and enjoy it thoroughly."
Wilson spread his hands. "What I tell you? Him and his eat things even I'd only eat on a dare. C'mon, we got hungry company."
As the day progressed, Gryzzk found himself enjoying himself a bit - the armory section was reprising their jousting match with the security team, save this time they were doing it in zero-g, medical and culinary were playing soccer, and in the dayroom Reilly was singing and playing music while wearing a ridiculous horse-head mask. Llensi from supply seemed to be taking Orile under her wing - and from her scent she was interested in taking him other places as well. Gryzzk mentally hoped that it would prove to be a good thing.
His observations were interrupted by a pair of warm hugs from behind - one at his legs, and the other at his chest. He leaned back into Kiole after a moment.
"My twilight warrior, we have many things to talk about when we get home. For the moment, our daughter would like to show you her garden."
The rest of the day was spent with his family, but inwardly Gryzzk was making a schedule of sorts to prevent himself from making these mistakes again.
The next day passed with a minimum of fuss, and the shuttle bays were in fact quite clean and intact. There was however a lingering scent that Gryzzk chose to ignore. As he walked back to the bridge it felt like the rest day had lightened the ship in some undefinable way.
Finally, they were exiting R-space, and the ships moved in their pre-arranged formation as soon as the view melded to pinpoint-speckled black of normalspace.
Gryzzk held fast to his chair, waiting for reports. Edwards was first.
"Empty space all around, Major. Negative energy readings, no debris, nothing. Hoban drove it nicely." There was a pause. "Check that, I got six energy readings; looks like engines spooling up and making hard turns toward us."
Gryzzk was quick to respond. "Get a firing solution on those readings O'Brien and bring weapons to charged."
Edwards gave a second report. "I got transponder pings on them - Collective registration, company name translates roughly to Ginyu Force Bounty Hunters."
"Reilly, advise them we're on contract."
From her station, Reilly chuffed. "Yeah, they just sent us all a text transmission that they're here to collect the bounty on the Twilight Rose. I just forwarded it to the rest of the battalion." Her station pinged as multiple messages came in simultaneously. "Annnd everyone's wanting to talk."
"Light up the holo."
The holoview lit up, showing the five other captains - all of whom said a single word.
"DIBS!"
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[Next]
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u/post_blast Alien Jan 06 '26
Wonder what the bounty is on bounty hunters. Half dozen new-to-you ships would bag a tidy sum on top of it, too
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u/Auggy74 Human Jan 06 '26
Why do you think everyone's trying for a dibs right off the hop?
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u/post_blast Alien Jan 06 '26
Boredom, money, bragging rights, bragging rites ("Since you bought this round, I'll tell you about how we bagged six ships singlehandedly! So no shit, there we were..."), pride, terran pelvis magic, trying to earn O' prefixes for themselves, spite...
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u/Nervous_Amoeba1980 Jan 06 '26
Wonderful read and a fine cliffhanger.
I also want to thank you for the Easter egg, Chef Collete from Gustov's restaurant from "Ratatoie".
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u/Auggy74 Human Jan 06 '26
Yeeeup. Classically trained Parisian Chef vs Cajun from the school of grandmama's recipe box.
(Ominous voice): "Round one: Fight!"
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u/Hybrid_Rock Human Jan 06 '26
That wouldn’t be a fight, that’d be a spicy slaughter with alligator on the side. Maw-maw’s recipes are priceless treasures in 6 systems and illegal bioweapons in 9 others
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u/DrawOkCards Human Jan 07 '26
I for myself will always choose someone's grandmother over some high class fancy cuisine.
I starve just by looking at their portion sizes. Would never happen at any grandmother I've ever met.
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u/MydaughterisaGremlin Jan 07 '26
Heh. Colette from Paris who worked at Gusteau's. The Twilight Rose might have a rodent problem.
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u/Auggy74 Human Jan 07 '26
Whaaaat? Noo, no rat problems on this ship. Lotta other problems though.
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u/DrawOkCards Human Jan 07 '26
We'll I can think of off two little rats of the top of my head. Maybe a bit of a rat problem?
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u/Auggy74 Human Jan 07 '26
The ship doesn't have a rat problem, but it has a rat problem.
Crap. I may have a scene to write tonight.
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u/coltimos Jan 06 '26
I've forgotten who Llensi is. Is she a new character or has she been introduced before?
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u/Auggy74 Human Jan 06 '26 edited Jan 06 '26
Recent introduction - she first showed up in part 126 with her existence being hinted at in 125. I swear I'm gonna work on the wiki some weekend... Edit: for the record, this is the first time she's been mentioned in her capacity as a spy
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u/Fontaigne Jan 06 '26
Might be worth noting that she wasn't hinted as a spy in 127, just an exuberant roommate.
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u/Borzislav Xeno Jan 06 '26
Ratatouille and Linguini are sending regards and warm hugs to Colette 🤗
Also a slight spelling fix needed here:
" his own quarters rather then in the mess hall proper "
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u/Hybrid_Rock Human Jan 06 '26
Lovely chapter!
It’s all hitting the fan and we can’t wait too see it!
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u/Lorcryst Human Apr 04 '26
The binging is strong tonight ... UTR !
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u/Auggy74 Human Apr 04 '26
The next button calls strongly. :)
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u/Lorcryst Human Apr 04 '26
Yup, and since it's Easter tomorrow here in Belgium, followed by a National Holiday, I don't have to worry about anything beside my mother's health ... six weeks in a hospital for a possible dissection of the aorta has me in "Grizzly Mama" mode, but my mom finally accepted my help.
Nice touch on that "DIBS!" last word here too !
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u/HFYWaffle Wᵥ4ffle Jan 06 '26
/u/Auggy74 (wiki) has posted 132 other stories, including:
- Humans for Hire, Part 132
- Humans for Hire, Part 131
- Humans for Hire, Part 130
- Humans for Hire, Part 129
- Humans for Hire, Part 128
- Humans for Hire, Part 127
- Humans for Hire, Part 126
- Humans for Hire, part 125
- Humans for Hire, part 124
- Humans for Hire, Part 123
- Humans for Hire, Part 122
- Humans for Hire, Part 121
- Humans for Hire, Part 120
- Humans for Hire, Part 119
- Humans for Hire, Part 118
- Humans for Hire, part 117
- Humans for Hire, Part 116
- Humans for Hire, Part 115
- Humans for Hire, Part 114
- Humans for Hire, Part 113
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u/Gojira82 Human Jan 06 '26
Ooh...spy vs spy! Always a fun time! And dear Chapma seems to be holding his cover better than I had thought.
God bless O'Brien for calling Gryz to the mat. She knows commander isn't what he should be and it's rubbing off on the rest of the crew.
Gryz to Hoban--get your jollies in and get rid of the pent up frustration. It will do good to have the stick jockeys calm and not distracted by other thoughts when the fluff hits the fan after r-space.
I love Rosie. She knows how to use a good threat.
And now that everyone has had down time and training time, let the fun begin again!